Dreamt of her again

You got to be real.
Truly speak to yourself and realize that it is definitly over.
No miracle, no second chances, no secret misunderstood love on her part.
It s irremediably over, tell yourself that.
And as importantly as first part you need to realize that you are ok. You want to feel sad bc you want to feel something.
Realize those two things and it will be painfully easy.
T. Just did it yesterday

How is it possible to be this beta

too real

>be at work
>get 2 calls from gf but don't notice because phone on silent and I'm working
>she calls me most days at lunch so I don't think anything of it
>call her back 4 minutes later but she doesn't pick up
>can't be important I guess
>after work, text her to tell her I'm going home and ask what was up earlier (we don't live together)
>get some snippy answer how I don't care anyway and she chose not to share with me anymore
>wtf? but I nicely ask again what's up
>no response
>well, can't be important then. I make dinner and watch some netflix
>1.5h later start getting a bunch of angry text messages accusing me of not caring about her and how I can sit there playing vidya and not even think about her
>wtf again, but stay calm and once more ask her what's going on
>turns out her dad who's got cancer will probably die next month
>immediately call her to talk to her but she doesn't pick up
>send her a voice mail about how I'm sorry, but how was I supposed to know if she didn't fucking tell me? Offer to drive to her place to comfort her
>she doesn't even acknowledge any of that, keeps sending angry texts about how I don't care about her
>call her 2 more times but she still doesn't pick up
>I start getting mad and we end up fighting via texts
>ask her how the fuck I should have known about her dad's worsening condition before she told me, and why she'd rather attack me instead of just picking up the fucking phone
>she just goes in circles about how I don't care and how our relationship was a mistake or some shit
>tell her to stop with that shit, tell her I called her multiple times to be there for her but she'd rather attack me and then blame me for not caring, wtf
>tell her it's not my fault what's happening to her father and that I told her I'm sorry and offered to come over
>she completely flips her shit about the factual statement that her fathers condition isn't my fault and starts insulting me even further
cont

>very close friends with qt
>she's a lesbian
>i'm in love with her
>know she doesn't feel the way I do
>still feel so happy when I'm with her that I can't let go

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>gf and I break up for a day a 2 months ago and get back together the next
>Convince her to give it another try
>Said she can't promise to fall in love with me
>Things go great and she told me that it was her rape PTSD that was the problem, not me
>Didn’t have sex since the first break up because of her PTSD and wasn’t seeking therapy for it either
>Starts neglecting me and our relationship, thought it was because she's moving house
>Starts being flaky, not making plans and taking hours to reply to texts
>When I went through her phone before this happened she had a photo of her ex saved and a bunch of lingerie/ass shots with her wearing her Halloween wig and hiding her face on there too
>Notice her ex boyfriend is also her most looked up account on her Instagram
>When I helped her move, she talked to her friends but barely said a word to me
>Said she was too tired and busy to see me the next day, but it turned out that she had a party she was going to but didn't tell me
>Tell her how I felt and that the lack of effort she's put in lately hurt my feelings
>Wouldn't have even cared if she told me she had a party to go to and couldn't see me
>She blows up on me and said I was being possessive/controlling
>I've always given her space and don't bother her when she's out with friends/parties
>Said that she shouldn't have to tell me everything she's doing or why she can't see me, even though I never meant it like that and couples shouldn't hide their plans
>Said that it's concerning that I act this way and that she felt scared
>Day later
>Apologize because I made her feel bad and was afraid of break up
>Said she's not romantically invested in me and that I want more from her than what she can give me
>Tell her I feel led on because she said things were fine and because she acted like normal with me
>She told me she can't risk being in a controlling relationship again (was in the past) and that wanting to see her at least once a week is "too much"

Full story this time (1)

>She told me she can't risk being in a controlling relationship again (was in the past) and that wanting to see her at least once a week is "too much"
>Remind her that I literally give her time to do the things she needs/wants to do and never dictate how she uses her time
>Also remind her that I never stopped he being friends with her ex or having a male personal trainer
>Says I've been very accommodating with her, but it "just isn't working out"
>Said she still feels pressured, even if there isn't any
>Says she really wants me to be her friend because she thinks I'm a great person, but she just can't see me as anything but platonic
>Have some time to think and talk with my gym buddies and Jow Forums
>Explain everything
>In the back of my head, I always had a feeling she had intimacy problems because of her past relationships (chased this one guy hard, but he never gave a shit and told her to fuck off because he couldn't hide it anymore, ex LTR never put her first/gave her attention, cared about her family gatherings and was willing to move overseas without her coming at one point because he wanted it so bad)
>Without even mentioning that, both said the same thing
>Piece it together
>Realize she has commitment and intimacy issues
>She wants to chase, but never be chased
>Confront her about this
>Basically backs this up because she mentions there was a push and pull problem in this relationship
>Tell her she needs help because she clearly has problems because of these old relationship, probably her dad etc
>Tells me we shouldn't talk for a bit for the good of us, that I'm just mad
>Block her before she can and haven't talked to her since

The more I read back the more I realize I did nothing wrong. Wtf is wrong with her? Is asking to spend time with the person you’ve been seeing a while a bad thing? Are all girls like this? And I know I’ve posted about this before, but this is the full story. (2)

Feel free to roast me so I don't feel tempted to go back to her.

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>attempt another call to calm her down, but again she doesn't pick up
>text her I'm done explaining myself when I didn't even do anything wrong, but tried to reach her numerous times
>tell her I'm deeply sorry for her situation, but it's not right to attack me because of that
>demand an apology and put phone away, but see that she deleted my number because her WhatsApp Pic changes to default one
>whatever, continue watching Netflix in anger
>few hours later I think to myself that I should fix this. She must be in a lot of pain so she lashes out, and if I could just talk to her it would be okay
>call her again and she picks up
>immediately starts berating and attacking me for saying her dads situation wasn't my fault, doesn't acknowledge that I called 5 times and tried to comfort her in any way I could
>end up fighting even more
>I try multiple times to be the bigger man and end the fight but once she's in her stupid rage mode, she doesn't listen at all, just keeps insulting me and going in circles
>we end up breaking up again (fights almost always go this way)

Was I in the wrong? She got extremely mad about my statement about her dads situation not being my fault. Factually it isn't, obviously, and I said it in the context of her somehow attacking me despite my numerous attempts to call her. When we fight its like some sort of bizarro court where everything I say is used against me, and anything positive I say or do is not admissible. It's insanity.

>mfw already bought Xmas presents for her and she's got multiple deliveries coming to my place because it was more convenient

Fuck her. You deserve better m8

Faggot.
Nah, but seriously you're completely correct about the situation. It's clear that the girl has issues and they prevent her from having the relationship that you're looking for. It happens, some people legitimately aren't ready for it, but you don't have to suffer because of it. You'll find another one who deserves you, brah.

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Textbook BPD, user. Get out while you can. Completely cut contact. I know it's hard, but it's what's best for you. I was in the same situation, man. I cried and wanted her back so bad after things ended. But my bros were there to remind me how much better I will be without her. And you will be, too. It's the best decision I ever made blocking her number. Just wipe your hands and walk away.

Don't put this much value in anybody else besides yourself. If someone plays games with your emotions and time, they don't deserve either and you should cut them out of your life.

I'm the other guy with a batshit gf, posted above you.
You literally did nothing wrong man, and I've been in a similar place with previous gf. From my experience, she most likely already cheated on you. That's what my ex did. Only found out from family month after our break up, and when I confronted her she didn't even deny it.
I'm sorry, but you should let go.

How is your self worth so low that you would put up with that

Stages of grief user. She's looking for an outlet for the turmoil inside of her right now and sees you as an easy target that won't have that of bad consequences. Now, what they says about the kind of man she sees you as is something you need to think about if you think she's even worth it.

You dont have to do anything wrong man. Women are fickle. One day she could be all over you the next she could want to break up. Honestly you shouldve forgotten about her and blocked her the first time she broke up with you. At that point in her mind she was already broken up with you from that point forward and was just trying not to hurt your feelings. She played you dude but it's okay because to women these days it's all a game to see how much they can get away with. For example, letting her be friends with her ex-boyfriend. You really think she could just be friends with some dude who put his dick in her? That she used to think about romantically? Forget it. She got away with everything and that made her hate you. Logic and reason dont apply it's all about feelings. Dont be too upset when you realize how she played you, live and learn man.

Jesus Christ can you emotional Jow Forums fags leave already. This is a fitness board goddamnit

She only gets like that when she's upset. Otherwise she's fun and lovely and we get along great. Also 10/10 ass and best sex I've ever had. She's a good person and I have strong feelings for her. I used to think I love her but now I'm not so sure anymore.
But once she's upset it's like a switch has been flipped and nothing gets through to her until the rage passes. I should have known to just leave her alone, but I didn't want to just take those bullshit accusations. And one of my biggest fears is my dad passing away too soon, so I feel very sorry for her and wanted to comfort her.

But I can't put up with it much longer. I'm the most patient person but she's got a way to make me mad as fuck.

Here again. The other posters are right and your story reminds me so much of my ex who had medically diagnosed bipolar disorder. Forget her and be thankful you didnt get in too much deeper with her.

I really tried to be understanding about it. But at a certain point, even grief doesn't give you the right to treat someone you supposedly love like absolute shit and accuse them of not caring when they obviously do.
And yeah I need to seriously reevaluate this. I'm definitely not going to be the one to try and make amends this time.

You can't bro. After 14 years and other women, I still can't shake her. She's been married, divorced, had other bf's.... I still can't move on (last time I slept with her was like 3 years ago)

Was for

SHUT THE FUCK UP FATTIE

So you said you did nothing wrong. I'm here for your reality check.
>trying to reason with a woman
Women are emotional creatures. Reason is never a good option.
>called her multiple times
Needy. Unattractive.
>apologized
Never apologize to a woman. I makes you weak, putting her in a masculine role and you in a feminine one
>allowing her to disrespect you
Respect should be the most important thing to you. When someone disrespects you, you confront them about it, then walk away
>getting upset about her other male relationships
All women are attention whores. If they know that they have your attention, that's why they'll seek it from others. This is why you never give her all the attention she wants (e.g. calling texting multiple times, demanding to see her once a week)
>getting back together after a breakup
This never works. I have never met a married couple who broke up. It permanently changes the relationship, and makes you look weak for going back when BOTH of you know you deserve better.
>dating someone with an overt mental illness
You can't save them. As much as you want to. When someones on a sinking ship, and you have a bucket, you can either throw them the bucket or jump on board and try to bail them out. But when you jump aboard, you're doubling the number of people who will sink. And you're making her feel even more helpless by doing the work for her.

You can do better, user.

>From my experience, she most likely already cheated on you
I think she has too:
>Kept using being sick as an excuse not to see me, even though she's came over sick before
>Constantly going to parties and not inviting me
>Mentioned her male personal trainer a lot
>Finding those sexy pictures on her phone that obscure her face and have her wearing a wig
>Stopped having sex for a few months

I hope you're all good too, user. Let's both get better.

Thanks m8

That's the plan. In the meantime, I'll focus on things I neglected while dating her.

She even said she thinks she "had" BPD, so I believe you're right. And desu, I really don't want her back anyway. I mean fuck, she's nearing 30 and I'm still in my early 20's. Now that I'll be focusing on the gym again, I can get better girls.

I have learnt a lot now. For one, next time I date, I'm never pushing hard again and letting them do that instead.

I'll be safe next time. And if she does want to talk soon, I'm brutally telling her the truth.

In my mind, I never saw her as a long term thing because of the age, lack of career success, history with other men. I was just in denial because it was the first girl I pursued in 4 years. Pussy has that effect on you.

>Fattie
Now you. There is literally no reason for this
>tfw no gf
bullshit on this board, go lift and shut the fuck up fag

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gj bro. Just don't be a faggot, deny her FOREVER.

>>called her multiple times
>Needy. Unattractive.
I generally agree with you, but her dad is dying so obviously I tried to talk to her before she went off the rails.
But Yea I'm starting to think this whole thing was a mistake.

Mine showed the same signs.
>sex stopped completely (thought it was because she worked as a social worker with young girls who got raped, and she also claimed mild depression)
>hung out with male friends a lot and went to bars or parties with them
>later found out my family saw her all dressed up getting into some guys car multiple times, and also saw them holding hands in the city
The signs were all there. Saddest thing about that is that I let her take our dog. That was before I knew she cheated. I miss that little puppy..
A few weeks ago I got a facebook message from that very guy tho. He told me that I don't know him, but that they broke up because she's still in love with me. But she didn't attempt to contact me and neither did I.

Fucking women man. Sometimes I remember my incel days VERY fondly.

>She "had" BPD
Bpd is incurable. Drugs dont help. Only treatment is daily cognitive behavioral therapy for multiple years. Even then doubtful to be cured. Not even considering the fact that people with BPD are EXTRMELY unlikely to stick to therapy for more than a month max
You dodged a bullet, son. Thank god that your future children won't have such a shit mom.

It's funny, she'd always say that BPD is curable, but it isn't. Explains why she would never do therapy for PTSD either.

It explains why she was so shit with replying too, probably seeing another guy. Oh yeah, I get why as well. It was simpler back then.

Will do. Once I'm Jow Forums, I'll find myself a real qt who's sane.

Everytime these posts and threads push me more and more out of this beta polluted shithole. I just can't contain this cringe and transform it into a laughter anymore. It's just pathetic at this point

You deserve to suffer. You deserve to suffer for shit you did, and didn't do. Come to terms with the fact that at some point either directly or indirectly, this is what you wanted. This is what it means to be the captain of your soul.

This.