OH SHIT FAGGOT!! You grunted 2 decibels above the average newborn kitten's meow and as you brought the bar down at the...

OH SHIT FAGGOT!! You grunted 2 decibels above the average newborn kitten's meow and as you brought the bar down at the end of your rep a pen fell out of your pocket so now THE FUCKING LUNK ALARM IS SOUNDING OFF! Everyone is looking at you and the planet fartness employees have secured all the exits. What do you do?

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Continue lifting like a chad

Everyone in the gym is closing in on you to confiscate your weights and gallon of water

Roll for perception check

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You rolled 4

Ez bar + resistance band = home made longbow. Fire some Olympic bars at them

Roll for accuracy.
Rolls are based on the last number of your post. Dubs double the base value trips triple and so on.

Rolling. Let’s slay some hambeasts

I'd like to make a dex check to disable the lunk alarm. Then i'd like to make a stealth check to evade the planet fatness employees. What weapon options am i looking at?

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>Grab nearest barbell
>Strip down to boxers
>Use barbell as a spear and fight my way out of the gym