Fit Humour Thread
OC
>Company's having a secret santa
>My original elf has no longer works in Santa's village
>Hear user doesn't have a santa
>Got user an onion for Christmas
H
Autism and cringe
oof that was close
Lmao
>Jow Forums humor
I know some good Jow Forums humor
hhaha ready?
[spoiler]You're one rep max[/spoiler]
Badum tssss
Remember kiddo's, you've heard it hear first
cringe and spoilerpilled
writing a greentext isn't difficult
does anyone have the webm of the dude swinging the dumbbells while pushing the bench across the gym?
thaks user
Of course my dude
is this peak BoomerLifting?
No
This is
>Based jujimufu poster
Is that the snake diet dude?
What a chad crustacean. Bless him.
here is what I got
Based old guy
>getting a bit THIRSTY
always makes me giggle like a retard
God damn it, this is just sad
Haha oh Jow Forums will you ever learn?
1m
based and strokepilled.
I wish this was real
this is my last one
>that guy asking for a high five
I hope he's just being a "judge" like at lift meets
I NEED IT
>>>/reddit/
You motherfuckers made me remember the time I high fived the judge at a small local bench meet. I just hit a PR and was borderline retarded for a few seconds with no blood in my brain.
>the virgin No eye contact with the judge
vs
>chad user highfiving judge trying to do his job
you're going to make it user
this is a man right there
something extremely similar happened to my grandpa when he was around 50
my grandpa is basically an enormous winnerhead who literally uses smashes in pingpong against my little children cousins just to gain that "ping pong winner of the year" title every christmas holiday
anyhow,
>grandpa does a bit of running every morning around 6 am, usually 1-3 km
>out on his normal run innawoods
>about halfway when a woman passes him in a quick pace
>a woman?
>implying my grandpa will be beaten at something by a woman
>runs past her
>she runs past him
>this goes on and on, both becoming tired af from the constant intervals of running and jogging
>he begins to lag behind
>imPLYING my granda will be beaten by a woman
>runs up to right behind her and just runs as fast as her for the rest of her run
>she finally slows down after like 3x his normal run
>he falls onto his back completely exhausted
>she reveals she's part of our country's national team of orientation and was impressed by the shape my grandpa was in
>"i'm not in that good shape, I just couldn't be beaten by a woman"
brings me a kek to think about it desu
I wonder how much this diet costs
fucking kek
Classic right here
kek
fucking kek
half expected him to tackle her
kek
Holy fucking kek I spit my coffee on my monitor laughing you nigger
alpha as fuck
I fucking died
I laughed
still fake and gay though
I wonder where is he now
>morgue prob
>life
no joke, user should be grateful
that fat chick was 2 seconds from preying on him, and then she'd probably never leave him
you gotta close a window to open a door; once all the crap people are out of yourlife you can focus fully on bettering yourself, and then the people come to you
Kek'd
>buying a fight
Lmao
Anyone has the pic of the guy knocking himself out? He goes down saying something like "who the fuck?".
>Shamefully exist
It's all about spot reduction, baby. And these wizard eyes see all the demons.
>I jus throw on whatever my dude.
Based
>no jerk
Expectations subverted
Reminds me of when i bought a pack of D3 10.000ui and the pharmacist looked at me and said "one a week, right?" Shit, surely i wasnt going to say that a mongolian tapestry forum suggested that dose daily
What's Jow Forums there chewing?
holy shit man that's good
But protein shakes don't taste like cum?
based and crustacean pilled
Lol did you get the Victoria's Secret gift?
Reminds me of my teen self.
>be 14
>meet cute 13 girl from the same town online
>chat a lot
>she's immediately falls for me
>thinks I'm really cool, practically worships the ground I walk on
>meet on a couple of dates in town
>enjoy some kissing and touching
>her parents are away one weekend
>she asks me to come over and spend the weekend at her place
>gives me her address
>go there on my bike
>get lost because I've never been in that part of town before
>spend hours trying to find the place before giving up
>she calls me and asks why I didn't come
>I don't want to look like an uncool faggot who gets lost in his own hometown so I tell her I'm dumping her
>don't return any of her desperate calls or e-mails, break contact entirely forever
Lord I remember that story you were a true alpha male user
>a cool neck
Always fucking gets me kek
I don't understand why that was so bad. I mean, 30kgs overweight, she must know she is fat and not beautiful.
My older sister was the same. Used to tell me and our parents all the time she gave up bread and sugar. One day we were both over my parents and I was making my dad a sandwich which he always likes put in the press to crisp the bread. So I offered her a ham and cheese toasty while I was in the kitchen and without a pause she said "yes!"
Only once I gave it to her did she realise, and I offered to take it off her hands. She went through a diatribe of justification and this will be the only one and she cannot eat rest of the day etc etc.
>Everytime I see her she is fatter
>Everytime she loudly proclaims I need to eat more as I am too skinny and women should have meat on their bones
>Asked me once at a family dinner what my waist was (28 inches), then laughed as none of her clothes would fit me and all her skirts would fall off my waist as if it was a bad thing???
>Recently at a family dinner she was holding her third glass of coke with her mountain of potato salad drenched in mayonnaise I told her she should really do something about herself since she was nearly 30 and she had enough issues to worry about as it is, if she wanted to get pregnant anytime soon.
>Starts tearing up and my dad just looks depressed while my mother gives me a filthy look while consoling her.
>Her boyfriend decides its time to leave and quickly hustles her out.
>My Grandmother is just scolding my mum quietly for taking her side
>My Grandfather out of the blue (he is not an emotional man) hugs me while I am washing up and asks me to take pity on my sister but not to give up on blood. (Longest collection of words I have ever heard from him my whole life)
Half my family now openly hates me for it and would not even come to our first housewarming party.
fat women are a nuisance desu, and she clearly wanted to hit him up on the rebound
