School suspension stories

>Classtrip
>14 or something
>Used to be a scout
>We have to clean up before we make the campfire
>I had a migraine most of the day so i couldn't do jack
>I had the weirdest relationship with this one girl in my class
>We had periods of absolutely hating each others guts and being bf's every other week or so
>Didn't make any sense
>On this trip we hated each other
>When we sit at the campfire she starts complaining
>"Oh user didn't do anything so he doesn't deserve s'mores"
>I fucking love s'mores
>She says some shit about my migraines just being fake and me being lazy i begin seething with anger
>Could have just shouted
>Instead i took a piece of rope out of my bag (Remember i used to be a boyscout)
>Start tying a hangmans noose calmly
>She is confused af
>Throw it to her and say "Please use this before you speak about chronic illnesses other than your own personality"
>One teacher starts dying of laughter
>Other teacher becomes furious and gets me suspended for a week

Still ended up losing my virginity to the girl three years later so i guess it all worked out.

Attached: 1543672126334.jpg (636x700, 82K)

You are a faggot.

I mean i ended up fucking a guy about two days after i lost my virginity so yeah

are you gay or something

Are you on Jow Forums or something?

I threatened someone with a screwdriver once and got suspended. What is this /soc/ tier shit you absolute normie shithouse

yes and I'm perfectly straight

should we tell him lads?

tell yourself faggot

Explain this shit please

>5th grade
>dating girl in the next room over
>inside recess one day because snow
>wanted to go over and see her
>recess monitor lady wouldn't let me
>went to the door and told the girl "I would go over there but this bitch won't let me"
>turned around and the lady was staring at me shocked with her mouth open
>walked me to the office
>dad had to leave work to pick me up for the day

Attached: IMG_1780.jpg (251x251, 34K)

didn’t read but that picture is awesome, mirin their bromance

It’s ok as long as you’re not a bottom

>Jow Forums - Fitness

>5th grade
>class is in library for some speaker or something
>pressure in bowels building the whole time
>speaker finishes
>everyone claps
>start to rise and massive fart bellows from my anus
>two girls sitting in front of me turn around with horrified looks of disgust on their faces
>look at friend sitting next to me with same look of disgust and say gross dude, that's nasty
wasn't even suspended
eat shit OP

>everyone claps

stopped reading

ive never been suspended
also why is this here?

whats to eyplain our boi gets pussy and ass

>Got out of a bad relationship a week before the girl in the story
>She just asks if i wanna fuck
>I do
>Am now addicted to sex
>Two days later im getting shitfaced with a bunch of friends at the girls place
>Her gay childhood friend is feeling me up
>Think why not and fuck him in her parents bedroom toilet
>Wasn't the best but it was okay
>Me and the girl became fuckbuddies untill she found out about the gay sex

Because Jow Forums is barely about fitness half the time so why not. Just think of this as a chad/beta/autism thread if thats better

>High school
>Lunch with my bros
>Long hogwarts style tables so frequently sit near randos
>One of my friends comments on absurd amount of mayo nearby inbred Carhartt wearing girl just slopped on her chicken sandwich
>Her yokel friends start talking shit
>My friends respond in kind
>Nothing happens, redneck trailer park squad gets up to leave table
>While walking away, Carhartt girl flings Mayo-laden sandwhich onto the table in front my us
>"I'll handle this bros"
>Rise from the table and start to harness my friends energy like Goku preparing to drop the Spirt Bomb
>I grasp the half-eaten mayo drenched sandwhich and begin calculating angles and wind-speed
>With my target locked-in, the sandwich leaves my fingers
>Direct fucking hit
>Sandwich soars through the air and lands on her shoulder/hood exploding with a burst of lettuce and mayo
>Assistant principle saw the whole thing
>Escorts me from the cafeteria to the sounds of my friends' cheer and applause

Attached: hs ref.jpg (2048x1530, 923K)