I'm your girlfriend for tonight, user

I'm your girlfriend for tonight, user.
Tell me your problems

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The hole in your ear isn't big enough

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You must have a really good life if that's your only problem.

Happy to hear it, I'm glad you're in a good place!

What is good? what is life?

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youll never be my oneitis no matter how hard I pretend you are

can't right now, too busy replying to all the bait threads made by lonely ppl.

my problem is..

i dont have any. i avoid all conflict.

Here you go, bud, some definitions for you.

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Ive been hung up on the same chick for 9 years. The thing is I we only taled like 3 or 4 times but I"ve been stalking her and watching her fall in love with her bf for some time now. I started to forget about her this year but a week ago I saw a picture on IG of her being happy and I just lost it. Fucking losing my mind.

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Sorry, pal. I can only offer what I have.
That's okay!
Nice trips!
Avoiding them does not mean they are not there, user.

Not your bud, fag.

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Your best move to cope is probably to block her on all social media and look for other, more available options.
Go to a bar, meet some people, free yourself of being attached to ideas of people.

niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers

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Wtf, get the fuck out bitch, im gay so only cute guys can love me.

I'm lonely and wish I could share my love of Godzilla with people

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When do I get to feel again? I dont wanna be locked away, not again, not ever again. When can I stop? When can I stop? When can I stop? Why can't I stop? How many more? How many more have to die before i can feel

I'm here for you! Post all the Godzilla you'd like.

Whenever you're ready to feel again, you will. It takes time to heal. I've spent years being numb, sometimes you just have to get there.
Don't let yourself be locked away. Remember the sun.

I've seen all 35 movies but I can never get anybody else to watch them, people think they're dumb cheesy movies when they're feels fests. My dad fell asleep when I tried to show him some of the best ones, feels bad.

Get that fuk outta my bed bitch, to pussy stank

>Tell me your problems
I wouldn't want to worry my gf with that.
I'd just want to hold her.

But I'm gay, what the fuck. Why do I have a girlfriend?

You could rabb.it a film or two with me if you'd like!

Healthy relationships stem from open communication and good give and take. c:

Why do I feel like I want to die all the time?

I would if I could find a decent link to them online for conveneience, it would take forever to upload my DVDs and Blurays to google drive and stuff

There could be lots of reasons for that.
Have you thought about seeing a therapist and getting some medication?

No hassle, I am probably okay without them too c:

I always thought thearpy and meds would be a waste of money. I don't want to chane who I am via meds, and I can always talk to someone in these threads about any issues I have in my life.

You might have to try multiple medications to find one that makes you want to be alive without dulling out your personality.
Also, therapists are more than open ears, they can give you healthy coping mechanisms and ways to help yourself that random also depressed people on the internet may not be able to provide you.

Thanks anyway user. You seem like you'd be an awesome gf. I was about to head off to bed anyway, I have the flu and need rest. No matter how things get in my life, I can see my old friend Godzilla, the last significant vestige of my early life, and be taken right back to a safer more innocent time. Nobody really gets why I'm so autistic about the Big G, but just hearing his iconic roar or them takes me right back

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I usually cope my problems by either verbally my frustrations on shitposting online. Sometimes I'll even punch the palm rest of my laptop.

I don't have any problems

surprisingly original

Thank you!
I hope you sleep well and don't die. The flu is no fun. :c
I'm glad you have something so special that helps you like that!
Well, that does not seem to be working so well thus far, given you still want to die.

I'm really happy to hear it, user! c:

I'll be sure not to die. Whether you're actually a girl or some discord trap, you'er a cool person and you've made me happy

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In the last 6 months i lost 5 of my 5 childhood friends over a minor argument and the girl i was in love with for 2 years rejected me in the worst possible way and now hates me. On top of that, i have to study for my driving lessons, prepare for University, and work part-time.
The loss did not affect so bad as to lead to me underperform in the other areas of my life but god the loneliness is crippling. All i do is work, study, play vidya for 2 hours, sleep, repeat. I haven't even had an engaging conversation with a person my age in months. I feel like one of these 40 year old japanese salarymen who have rejected their humanity and only live to work. Only that i'm 19 and society tells me that i should be out there having fun and living in the prime of my life, and the facebooks and the instagrams of former classmates are full of pictures from discos, fun parties, whatever, and i didn't even attend prom. Of course, i always have the option to tell my parents that i don't want to be bothered with shit and turn to working season jobs and living with them for the next 10 years but pic related seems even worse that the hell i'm going through.

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The only thing I'm moderately good at is a fucking low tier degree that doesn't pay too much, I don't have to deal with loan but I'm still shafted.

I have you for a girlfriend for starters

You said that I have no feelings and now I traded you for a cute boy, my life has never been so good and this is not a problem but I wanted to tell you anyway

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

DO NOT VENT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND

YOU ARE OFFERING A WINDOW TO YOUR FUCKED UP MIND THAT WILL WORK AGAINST YOU

Women can complain and nag because it's part of their biological role in the couple, which pushes men to act in their place. When a man freely speaks about his inner problems and conflicts, the woman subconsciously interprets that as weakness, and therefore starts considering new options. I have experienced this first hand, and becomes something you just know. If you have to vent, vent to your friends, shout in a pillow, punch a wall. Do NOT start ranting in front of your loved one.

Or a better idea, not wasting your time on stupid whores at all.

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