Hello Hello Hello my friends!

Hello Hello Hello my friends!
it is I The Loving one! and I'm here to grant wishes for the low low price of your soul
so what says you friends are you willing to trade in your soul for anything your heart desires?

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yeh, can I trade in my soul for another soul? mine sucks.

hmmmm interesting question friend I tell you what I can't guarantee its a better soul but I just got a fresh in earlier today so you can have it but when the time comes I get it back

What is your name O' Loving One? Surely your business practices regard a higher standard of quality if we are *truly* going to conduct a true and ethical trade.

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but what is a name? I've been called many things over the years but I've always been The Loving one no matter what other Higher Beings like to call me

You are not the devil, retard. You are merely possessed by the devil. Infact you are so possessed you believe you are him. Good little puppet

>He actually wants to trade my soul for useful goods
lmao you'll end up losing in the trade but whatev, I want to be the most intelligent people on the known universe, intelligence which must be superior to whoever made this wish before me

I assure you friend that I am the real deal but you of course can believe what you will I wont hold it against you

well then "oh smart one" it shall be done!!
From this point on your intelligence will increase to the point of you knowing all! enjoy! and thank you for the soul

Now i wish for more superior intelligence to yours

It doesnt work lad

A pleasure making business with you.

A name is one's lineage and connection to their individuality outside of the plethora. Your title, though grandoise it may be, is no matter to me, nor my goals. If you are not with a name, your essence is not unique in this realm and as such, you are null. Therefore, I state clearly that my wares are beyond your wealth if you are indeed a being without a true name.
>If so, gtfo bitch. I don't get on this board for your bullshit.

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Hey, are suddenly smart enough to realize how stupid you are/were?

Ah I see well alas I have no answer for you friend because names have many meanings and many beings have had many names over time but I do apologies for wasting your time
I wish you a farewell friend

Sorry if I didn't respond right away, I'm not occupied polishing my plan for merging all human intellects as an unique super-intelligence. It should be finished in half an hour

I meant to say that I AM occupied. Guess intelligence doesn't grant perfect performance at any given activity baka

My soul was crushed to smithereens a decade ago, can you just kill me and get this shit over with?

Nah it's called a Freudian Slip, and you just ousted yourself, you faux Faust Fraulein. Now back in the abyss you go.

hmmmm no friend I can't do that I am sorry but if you want
I can make it so "something" happens in the coming days that kills you but of course I need your soul or what ever is left of it anyways

I would like to be the best at flamenco guitar

Ah a simple one! but of course I've made many a musicians better and I can do if for you as well!
so it shall be in the coming days you will master the Flamenco guitar! enjoy the success friend and thank you for the soul

Thank you , loving one.

Nah man, I just need you to kill me straight up, I got some pennies in the corner of my room if you want em.

hmmmm whats the date on the pennies? are they older ones or newer ones?

I'll come to your house and watch you eat pennies

I want friends who like me and won't abandon me. I want to stop being an introverted loser

You wish you weren't an introvert, user. If you truly wanted to not be one, then you wouldn't be one. Want and wish are different things.

Give me my oneitis as my loyal loving wife and let her and me lead a happy charmed life together until we painlessly die together in an accident around 2088 and we have a deal.
Send contract plz.

Okay, I want to be able to shapeshift. Quickly, skillfully, and fully, into any animal.

And since you're getting my soul, why not add a few centuries to my lifespan. I'd ask for proper immortality but I know you can't do that :P

Can I trade my soul for immortality and invulnerability on the mortal plane?

You have my allegiance if you help me kill god and tear down this bullshit creation and start over.

all beware of Satan's tricks!

Thrice I ask thee, devil.
Speak your name.

My name is Eric

I'll trade it for luck.

I wish I had two souls