You're such a great guy user, why don"t you have a girlfriend?

I live in a big city and its like theres a window between me and the rest of the world where theres the touch of human warmth on one side and im just sitting out here freezing my ass off having to witness this everyday

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Try living in a small town where everyone hooks up with each other but avoid you like the plague while playing the role of friend. I've always been an outcast in a town where the biggest graduating class was 900 people. And that was the talk of the town for WEEKS.

please user my heart is already weak tonight

Literally go to the nearest third world country and flash your first world citizenship. It's not hard.
Unless you're a turd worlder in which case just end it.

My graduating class was about 100 people originally being from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere
Ive been on both sides of this fuckery and its all shit

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Can't. Even if I could it'd just be empty sex without any of the satisfaction that comes from passion.

Why though? Why does shit need to be this way?

My friends and family don't even bother anymore. At this point they assume I'm gay.

I wish my family thought I was gay. That'd make shit a million times easier than incessant "when are we gonna see a lady on your arm user?"

Its a cruel cruel world mon ami

I had one girlfriend 8 years ago. For about 2 years after we broke up they would ask about her or ask if I was seeing anyone new. But the years continued to pass and they eventually stopped asking.

>tfw had the same happen
they were nice enough to wait a small period when I was forced to move several hundred miles away before I was able to be independent. but after 6 years there's nothing but pitiful glares from everyone.

>get paired up with a girl in class
>she actually gets my stupid humour and we get along well
>too much of an autist to fall in love with girls so I just treat it as a friendship
>a friend of said girl comes up to me one day and asks if I'm interested in girl I'm paired up with
>instinctively say no, thinking she's just messing with me
>even my friend was telling me she's into me
I was a stupid kid, now I'm a stupid grown man

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Is there a fancy name for this feeling? It's like being a bum standing outside a restaurant window in the freezing rain looking in at all the happy people eating a banquet.

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The instinct to push people away is hard wired into us , we cant be hurt if no one is close enough to hurt us.

Better to have been wary about it then to naively assume you ever had a chance.
trust me. Nothing hurts worse than your friends egging you on to go ask that girl out only to find they were fucking with you.

There's more than likely a word in German for it. Krauts have a word for fucking everything apparently.

This.Those are simply feelgood words to let you keep your hopes up and feel shit for another day.
You probably have let your mask slip and looked like you about to kill yourself when you get to hear that stuff.

>You'd be such a good boyfriend!
The fucking rage you feel when it is your oneitis saying those damn words

Mutterseelenallein

>The fucking rage you feel when it is your oneitis saying those damn words
All to fucking often recently, she's even aware of my feelings and continue to say this shit. knowing that it will never happen between us. Especially when I do shit that a boyfriend would do for her. I usually am incredibly good at putting roasties in their place when they ask that shit of me. But I can't resist her for some unbeknownst reason and I fucking hate it. She makes me weak and she knows it and uses it to her advantage.

See there it is. How in the fuck are they so crafty at this shit?

How can you call yourself a robot if humans voluntarily seek oit interactions with you?

>It happened tonight when we were hanging out with friends in Walmart doing aimless wandering. I just want someone to love and take care of, I've had it once and fucked it up like I do everything I come across.

You gotta get out of that situation. It's one thing if she doesn't know what she's doing, which does happen. Quite another if she is using you as a boyfriend without the benefits.

Just because you get forced to hang out with extroverts who inadvertently adopted you as their friend doesn't mean you're not a robot. And because I'm incapable of not helping people who are in need. I'm forced this group of people who pretend to care about me because to them I'm some pity token that makes them seem like good people.

I can't she's integrated herself in the group as a permanent person so even if I force myself out the only way I'll be able to hang out with my friends(who I've known since childhood like elementary) will be with her. And anything I say to try and remove her will just be met with resistance and force.

I guess that's pretty common.
I just really thought they where lying to me, I was pretty unpopular in school
It is something at least, it felt unbelievable back then, but the older I get, the more I think that I wasn't THAT bad looking as a kid

More often not people like us tend to be. But once they talk to us and get to know us they realize the facade of mild attraction we put off is heavily counterbalanced by the stunted social growth we have through lack of interaction

I feel you OP. Life is too cruel for us

>tfw you've came dangerously close to ending it multiple times but every time something pulls you back just enough to force you to rethink things
I just wish I had the follow through to end it. I'm tired of the constant emptiness.

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Maybe you need to have a talk with her alone. Very risky but what else can you do. Tell her that you have feelings for her and want to be her boyfriend. But if she doesn't feel the same way then fine, you will still be her friend but NOT her boyfriend. Tell her that you will not be doing boyfriend chores for her ever again. Yeah, you will get kicked out of the group, but it's better than being a doormat.

I've done that. As painful as it was I pushed myself to do it. And after things kinda went that way, but then she went to Newfoundland for a few months and the group kinda fizzled as everyone buckled down into their routine our group fell apart. But now that shes back things have picked back up, not because of her but just the natural progression of friends groups as an adult.
For a while as she was acting incredibly decent to me things slid right back into that territory when my friends talked with me about her and if I was over her. Stupidly I told them I was over her as the feelings weren't reciprocated, but as time has gone I've fallen back into the territory of boyfriend chores without the benefits. It hasn't gotten to me paying for things. And didn't before it's mostly the small intimate shit that two people do I end up doing. And it's just so ludicrously taxing on my mental health and I'm afraid to have this talk with her again because I know how it'll go.

has anyone ever gone full sociopath mode and achieved their goals by manipulating people and putting on a fake personality?
imagine getting into excellent shape and removing all doubts from yourself, then just barge out into the world and take what you want, tell people what they want to hear to get closer to them.

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I actually have limited success with it. I wasn't really able to fully take advantage of it. Because of my ASD it's incredibly easy to turn off my empathy and any emotions except what I want people to see. What good feeling it gave was fleeting and lacked any long term satisfaction that I desired so I stopped before it got too far.

>attend relatives wedding
>interact with nephews and nieces
>"y-you'll make a good father someday, user."
>mfw

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>tfw you're nothing more than a stepping stone for your family and friends to give them a fleeting sense of moral superiority

got any stories user?
oriigo

Does she have a boy friend that is fucking her but not doing the boyfriend chores? What do these chores entail exactly? If it's things like helping her move or driving her to the airport then maybe you can live with it. If it's things like cuddling or listening to her talk about Chad, then that would be insufferable. I can think of only two solutions. Make a clean break and don't be her friend any more and don't be shy about telling her why. Or you find a way to manipulate her into sleeping with you. Mission impossible? If she thinks of you as a friend then you do have a shot, even if a long shot.

>Any girl would be happy to have you a boyfriend
>Except me for some reason

What did girls mean by this?

Mostly just getting things I shouldn't and elevating myself to a slightly higher position in life that never panned out to how I want. Like the time I got my boss to give me a 1.75 raise for a job I should've quit that made me stay a bit longer than I should have. I'd always been on good terms with her and had no problem being her friend, and when I found out her and her long term bf had broken up, something just switched in me that pushed me to emotionally manipulate someone who just lost someone they thought they'd be with "forever" and I pushed her into this dark place and made it seem like I was her only option to happiness. needless to say while I got the immediate gratitude that I wanted in that moment it haunts me that I had that power over someone.

thottery, most likely

I had a friend who sadly passed away at a young age but he had a theory that we all learn to have our personality and that we can adopt or try out new ones. He claimed that he didn't have a personality that was natural to him and that he had to observe others and copy theirs and experiment until he found one that fit his style.

I'm such a fucking loser I'm impervious to the friend zone.

>"Do you have a girlfriend, user?"
>Why? You want the job?

She'll admit that she does and you'll fuck that night. It's that easy, bros.

She doesn't have a boyfriend and hasn't gotten laid in quite awhile. The things I do are things like holding her stuff while hanging out and shopping for things and having to help her carry shit around she gets. We do cuddle but it's never in an intimate sense but more of a platonic friend kind of way. We hang out pretty consistently and I end up making meals for us pretty frequently (us being the group or just us) since I'm the only one with any actual cooking experience from my time in a kitchen. When she crashes at my place she always ends up wearing my overly large clothes from when I was overweight to bed and sleeping in the same bed with me. And she'll go on to say shit like how she enjoys my smell on my clothes and that I know how to comfort when she's feeling down. I constantly feel like she simultaneously wants to be with me but doesn't want to be the girl that breaks the almost 7 year dry spell I've been having. And it completely fucks with my head and brings me down as I constantly have to avoid those thoughts and act like everything is normal.

This, I don't even have friends.

That they want a fleeting sense of satisfaction but don't want the actual responsibility that comes with being a friend and helping someone become the best version they can be.

This is far more serious than I thought. I suspect that she is attracted to the aspect of you that is good boyfriend material but not attracted to you sexually. The thing to know, the thing I wish I had known when I was in almost this same situation, is that sexual attraction isn't a choice. You need to change your behavior to be attractive. It's a long shot but not impossible. There are couples out there that have the back story of being friends for a long time first until they (her really) realized that they loved each other.

If you suddenly seem attractive to her sexually and then she gives you the signals to make a move then you have to be ready to do that. I know, it's like those movie where the airplane pilot dies and ground control has to teach you to fly the plane in fifteen minutes.

In high school this one gay kid talked trash on me because I got rejected by a (girl)friend of his and I lost my shit and bullied him relentlessly for months until he tried to kill himself, my story is completely different but I get what you're saying.

The flip side of the 'attraction isn't a choice' thing is that if you suddenly present behaviors that are attractive (alpha) then she will not be able to reason it away or prevent herself from being attracted. The trick is to fake this shit. You will have to first learn what this entails. I recommend David DeAngelo and Coach Redpill (hot to get and keep a woman video) on youtube. Then you will have to override your beta instincts. The good news is that you are already close to her. Hell, if she is sleeping in your bed....that can turn into sex really easily. Do you know the game where kids write on each other's backs and guess what is written? Next time you are in bed with her play that game. Write gently suggestive things like 'you are sweet', 'you are oh so sexy' etc. Very gently try to advance this intro to physical contact into kissing. Once there you are in, assuming you are good at kissing.
Another thing to know is, and no one tells you this, once things get hot it's up to the girl to stop it. Do not end the escalation yourself, she will take this as a rejection. Don't be too forceful either. None of this is guaranteed but it's wisdom won through bitter experience.

The fucked thing is, I know that's what I'd need to potentially catapult myself into an actual boyfriend position.But I'm currently unable to, at the moment I'm unemployed as I take care of my dying grandmother 24/7. I can't take time outside of a few hours that a nurse can come into relieve me. and during that time the socializing I need to remain mentally sane I'm forced to be with friends instead of trying to better myself. I know if I could just get a few more hours a week I could actually balance this and improve myself even a little more to push me into what I need to be recognized by her. As it stands I get grand total of 4 hours a week to myself.

This girl is into you, no doubt about it the more I think about it. She is waiting for you to make the right moves and you don't know what those are. I was there myself, clueless as a new born babe. The fact she doesn't have a boyfriend and is choosing you to fill that role is a huge plus. And when you hint at leaving she gets mad, well that's because she wants you. But sexual attraction isn't something that can be faked, she has to really feel it.

That's pretty grim, but it's not about bettering yourself right now. You are good enough, even if poor and anything else. She would not be in your bed if you weren't. What she wants if a man to sweep her off her feet and make her girl parts wet. You do that one night and of course keep it up and you are in like Flinn.

I don't doubt it. I'm just unable to make the advances I need due to life constraints on me. I'm not able to go and do as I please all the time. The sexual attraction would be easy if I were able to actively work out and take care of myself. But I'm unable to due to lack of personal time.

Oh, and another thing. This stuff is very time sensitive. Meaning you have a very limited window to make this happen before she finds a guy who does make her tingle down there. At that point it does become hopeless.

I would've but my physical condition has slid more than I'd like. I put the weight back on when my first (and only) gf broke up with me. And I can't find the time to correct it.

I'd believe that if it hasn't been more than 2 years since she'd been with someone in more than a one night stand sense. I'm not going to completely ignore that prospect because as much as I'd love to treat women like they're our equal, basic biology and psychology say otherwise. Also might be good to point out this has happened over a course of like 3-4 years. this has kinda been the norm once we got comfortable around each other and that sense of initial awkward was gone.

To date, I've had this said to me by 3 girls, 1 gay man, and 1 tranny. Sadly, I'm straight and of course no one actually approached. I assume my weirdness (not really autism) is a good people repellant.

Don't ya hate when that innate feeling people get from you is what puts them off. Can't fucking stand it.

Forget about working out for now, there is not time. This is do or die, and when I say die I mean it. I have almost killed myself over regret from a situation very much like yours. That's why I'm bothering to lurk this thread and dispense what little wisdom I have. You don't have to be anything but strong and courageous rather than weak and cowardly. It's little things that show this, seldom big things. The most important time to show courage is when you are alone together.

One thing I can tell you for certain. IF you do not at least try to make this happen you will regret it every fucking day for the rest of your life. And it only gets worse as the years pass and you realize it was your best chance for happiness and you blew it. You may crash and burn but at least you will have died like a man. The courageous die but one death while the coward dies a thousand deaths.

You're not wrong. I just have to make the leap and put myself out there. I just hope all goes well.

The thing is tho is flying a plane is unironically easier

I don't know who to hate, them or myself. I've been told I give off an otherworldly vibe one way or the other whether jokingly or being berated during my time in an internship. Either way I know I'm not exactly normal and I don't exactly blame them if they don't feel they know how to deal with me.

It literally means they'd be willing to settle for you but they currently want to date other guys. My sister explained it to me and I got cold sweats while she talked about it, it's disgusting how heartless girls can be.

Been laughed at everytime I tried this one.

>>You'd be such a good boyfriend!
>>just not MY boyfriend

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