BPD niggas, wwa?

BPD is a very tempting self-diagnosis for a lot of people but that's because the symptoms are easy to relate to. The point of the disorder is that it identifies when these symptoms are occurring to an extreme well beyond whatever you're likely to conceptualize. Ironically while BPD is one of the most casual and reckless occasions of self-diagnosis, it's the opposite at the professional level: It can take months to decide that someone qualifies for this label, because it's fucking severe. People with BPD are uniquely dangerous and incomparably difficult to handle, also, they almost never suspect themselves of BPD. They're too busy fucking shit up.

Self Diagnosed BPD: "Ugh i feel so unstable and stressed out it makes me want to LASH OUT and do something CRAZY"
Actual BPD: "idk why I decided to burn down that orphanage but it's not fair for everyone to be so upset with me"

AvPD is the best personality disorder. Mostly just affects me.

Yeah people with real actual BPD can ruin your life.

I strongly suspect that my now ex girlfriend had the disorder. We were together for 4 years and lived together for 3 (she basically started living with me a few months after we met). Shes the only girl I ever kissed so at the beginning I was just thrilled that a girl liked me. But our relationship went from 0 to 60 in an instant. I'd only known her a month and she was already bringing clothes and toiletries and shit over to my place. I spent all of my time with her, literally all of it. Constant contact in some way, texting all day. And when i would go home from college for thanksgiving and other breaks she'd need me to be on skype while she fell asleep or she'd have nightmares, etc.

But the way she left me has left some very deep scars. We spent half a year in a LDR while she finished her credential and I was living back in my hometown (btw I was on skype with her for hours, every single day). We had been talking about getting engaged for a little while, and she moved down to live with me after she graduated. I went on a trip with my grandparents a few weeks after she moved in, which had been planned for almost a year and she knew about it the entire time. She was furious. She attacked me the whole trip about everything under the sun, how mad she was that I 'abandoned' her in a city she didn't know, how I left her and 'hadn't made any commitments' and how pissed she was that I didn't propose before my trip.

The day after I got back I found out she'd been cheating on me with one of my 'best friends' while I was away. She just got mad at me for finding out when I confronted her, blamed it all on me, and was not apologetic at all. She said 'she was just getting from him what she wasn't getting from me' She moved out of my place directly in with him, and filed a restraining order on me accusing me of emotional and sexual abuse. She moved across the state with my ex-friend a month later. post 1/2

I had to hire a lawyer to fight the restraining order, spent a couple thousand dollars in the process. After 4 years of constant attention and doing everything for her she dropped me like garbage, just like that, because I was on a trip for a few weeks.

She used everything I'd ever confided in her against me. I once cried into her shoulder about my abusive dad, who I had to push down the stairs, who stalked my mom to the point where she got a restraining order on him, who broke into our house. And that day when she moved into my 'friends' house I went over to confront them, the door was locked and they didn't answer, and I just got a text from her saying "Don't be like your father user" and then I'm hit with a restraining order. I was devastated and basically shut down for months. She hurt me more than anybody ever has, even my dad.

hello, what do you want to know about it?

I've been diagnosed with BPD by multiple professionals. Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc. It took a while for one of them to convince me that I had it. Said people also agree, though, that I'm not a danger to anyone but myself

I had an ex who did a lot of similar shit to me too user, only gf I ever had. Like you I ignored a lot of the early red flags like how fast the relationship was escalating and the constant contact and neediness cause a girl just actually liked me for once. Hard to tell if it was cause she was psychotic or just high school bitches being bitches. Before I knew it I was about to be expelled from high school, borderline locked in my room almost disowned, and all of my "friends" replaced me with my identical twin brother. Fuck it I guess I'll share too in a separate post hang on.

Have you considered that she was just a shit person?

>7 total traits
>Having at least 4 of these traits implies you MUST have one of these 3
>4 + 3 = 7
Holy fucking shit psychologists are actually, literally retarded.

It means a combo of the 1st 4 traits is NOT a diagnosis but anything else is game. Idiots call others idiots quickly.

>BPD
>recently self diagnosed myself with this shit
This post violates a rule.
This user is underage.

For stories sake we're just gonna call her F
We met each other in my 12th year and her 11th year. She used to be part of the friend group during 10th grade but had to take a year off due to health issues. Didn't remember her though.
Anyways she sat at the breakfast table with us and only really talked to the "leader" of the group, let's call him cole for the stories sake. F and Cole had been friends since 9th year and they were arguing over what part of jojo's was the their favorite and why (the anime was FOTM around this time.) F and I agreed on Part 5 being our favorite for the fights in it. That led to us talking outside of school and within a few days she already managed to talk Cole into having the 3 of us hang out at his place all weekend. The whole weekend was great just the 3 of us hanging out and having a good time (one of the few times I had hung out with people outside of school) on the last night she said she wanted to make out after Cole went to sleep. Of course it didn't stop there and we ended up fucking while my best friend was asleep in the next room. I didn't care I was just amazing a girl was looking at me and talking to me. next day she had me telling her I loved her. We were always in contact, Skype, text, we even made google doc chat rooms for our school computers. Despite all of this constant contact she refused any pda, even prolonged eye contact wasn't allowed despite us walking each other to every class and being in contact quite literally 24/7 (she would make me stay in calls with her while we slept) eventually we had a week off due to storms and she told me to drive her to a nearby gas station that had been abandoned for over a decade to fuck. I still don't know why I agreed to this. Somehow, we didn't get caught and we parked and fucked without issue. Afterwards we went back to the routine of nonstop contact, but now she would let me hold her hand, still no eye contact.
1/?

Looking back, I was an idiot

>diagnosed as a sociopath
This is how you spot a sociopath LARPer

Never thought of that user, truly an amazing discovery you just presented me
A few weeks later (it's been slightly less than a month since we started talking by this point) Cole invited her to see a play he was starring in (only her, he noticed our increased time spent together and excommunicated me very quickly) that night the school was hosting two different one-act plays and Cole was starring in the second one. After the first play ended, F told me to take her to the gas station again. Of course, I had no idea how to say no to this girl so I agreed. Before anything managed to happen this time though, two police cars pulled up behind my car. The officers let us off with warnings but while her mother picked her up and she got off scot free, my parents justifiably decided I shouldn't be around this girl anymore. So they decided I would be off the grid. In my room, no school laptop, no phone, they even took the tv off of the wall despite it not having cable or any consoles set up for it. After that Cole convinced the rest of the group to excommunicate me too. I had been friends with this group since 7th grade and now in my senior year my only 5 friends didn't want a thing to do with me.
After that, I would steal anything I could to contact her. up until this point, the contact was her demand but due to the constant contact I guess I had grown codependent on it. Nothing was off limits, I'd stay up till 2am just for the opportunity to even send a text to her. It got to the point where the first thing my parents would make me do is put my book bag in their room so they could lock my school computer away. This lasted for the remainder of our relationship, 6 months. After losing all of my friends and being essentially alone with my thoughts in isolation constantly I spiraled into a depression and began developing eating disorders.

this was 100% my own fault I still don't know why I let her get that far in my head
2/?

have all of them besides the first one
don't those also come with autism? i'm defiantly a austist

I had the worst case of schizophrenia last week. Almost gave me diabetes.

Don't usually share stories about myself, sorry for the poor formatting and shitty story

During this time, I'd have to leave the dinner table to vomit multiple times a week, if I was even eating dinner. Over those 6 months, I wasn't consistently weighing myself but I know I started at 120 lbs and got as low as 95 lbs, not sure if I was ever lower than that or not.
F and I still talked as often as we could and after she found out what was going on at home she would kiss me every day without fail the last time we would see each other that day. If she wasn't going to be there the next day shed kiss me twice or if she was sick she'd kiss me once for every day she missed. As the pda grew the talks began to shrink. We'd chat less and less. As the chats got even less common she started lending me manga to read at home during weekends so I wasn't sitting in my room alone eating away at myself. Unfortunately, due to all she was starting to do to ease the pain I was in, my dependence only got worse. I now only was able to consistently eat when she was around. One day, on the bus ride home, a dude who sometimes sat with me and talked about vidya with me offered me some adderall. The school found out and I was suspended for 10 days, the last day of the suspension was also the Friday that started thanksgiving break. This extended seperation made me attempt to pick a lock to my parents gun cabinet (it's been 3 years and I still don't know how I fucked it up, the key was literally on top of the cabinet and I was too stupid to grab it) the next day the cabinet had been relocated. After Thanksgiving break ended, I had to go to tribunal, basically school court, where they voted on what the appropriate punishment would be. Normally drug usage is an automatic ticket to alternative school but due to my clean record since a "scuffling incident" in 6th grade, the school board appealed it to a probation for the rest of my senior year.
3/?

>self-diagnosed myself with this shit
As someone who went through the interview process to see whether I had a personality disorder after a psychologist requested it and personally knew people with BPD, no, you can't self-diagnose yourself with a personality disorder. I was initially diagnosed with the disorder, but then they decided rather than BPD being the issue, ASD was the issue creating symptoms that were akin to BPD since ASD and BPD can act in similar ways, and I already had a diagnosis of ASD. My case was reviewed by, count 'em, 5 doctors over 8-10 weeks. It takes a lot of consideration and time between people to put this diagnosis on someone because it is such a fucking horrible thing to be diagnosed with. It's not awesome, it's not edgy, it's not cool, it's something that ruins lives and destroys families.

People with borderline personality disorder don't tend to understand their condition until it is too late, you dissociate and can become completely removed from reality itself. You can be under the impression that nothing is really wrong with you and that you just went through a rough time so you cut yourself, but now you feel better and now there's nothing wrong and you were just silly. Or those people deserve what you did to them because they hated you anyway, or things are not your fault, and absolutely nothing is wrong with you, etc.
Ergo, you can't diagnose yourself with BPD, that's not how the condition works.

If you ever know someone, especially someone close to you that has BPD, it is understandable how demonstrably horrible it is for both parties and how it could be related to so many other conditions that need to be accounted for. It is not something you can just impose on yourself, it is something that has lasted your entire lifetime.

So if you want to know a real answer, go to a fucking doctor and ask for one rather than try and play pretend and expect us to care.

Attached: 1532644111198.png (320x350, 38K)

It was halfway through the second semester by this point, and she was starting to talk more to me again, and give me larger manga to read. It used to be single volumes but after I got back from that extended break she would give me her omnibus's (I needed up reading the entirety of cardcaptor Sakura in a single Friday afternoon)
I had been in this terrible situation I put myself in for about 3 months now and somehow, I was starting to feel happy again. It was starting to feel like F actually was talking to me out of genuine care for me rather than giving me shit out of pity for my situation. It was getting close to Valentine's Day by this point and I was unable to get her a thing due to not having a job or money or any real possessions other than my clothes. So that's what I did, I gave her 4 of my favorite shirts (at this time I only had about 15 different shirts in my wardrobe)
She gave me her favorite jacket, $80 worth of lush products to make my skin look less sickly from my horrible eating habits, a volume of berserk, and a hand picked flower arrangement. She gave me all of this at the beginning of the day and in every class period the girls would say "you must really love your girl" cause the dumb cunts thought I made it. The sneering looks they'd give me when I would say that she gave it to me still pisses me off. A couple chads would pipe up and say shit like "I wish a girl would do shit like that for me"

I still miss those flowers. I miss feeling loved so much.

At the end of the day the last time she saw me that day she thanked me for the pillow cases. I was confused and then she explained she was planning on using my shirts as pillow cases to cuddle at night so it would feel like I was there. Of course I decided I would do this with her jacket too. The first night I did it was one of the best nights of sleep I ever had.
4/5

I know nobody's actually reading this anyways, but it feels good to type this out
e year was very uneventful. I graduated, i looked for her for at least half an hour after family's were allowed on the field for her only to later find out she didn't even come.
As a graduation gift I was allowed to have technology back without stealing it anymore. As soon as I got my phone back we began slowly talking less and less and without the guaranteed contact from school we slowly drifted apart. Eventually she told me she never actually loved me and only wanted me for sex and only texts me now when she's stressing about college or having general troubles. She always ends the conversation with "I love you. You're so cute and you always make me feel safe c:"
>5/5

It's been 3 years since she told me she never loved me but she always ends every conversation with "I love you."
We haven't spoken in a month and I hope she never texts me again. I still haven't completely gotten over her or forgiven myself for getting that attached to the bitch

The rest of the year was uneventful***

I only got three and half out of seven, so I'm just borderline borderline. I'll leave you monsters to yourselves.

>not being a schizoid nigga

>going halfway but pussying out from a direct line with God
ishygddt

Attached: 1540055467330.jpg (599x467, 56K)