How do you guys deal with the feeling of the impossibility of ever being happy?

How do you guys deal with the feeling of the impossibility of ever being happy?
Knowing what this place became there isn't many of us left but what are your coping mechanisms?
The only way i can really explain what i mean is the physical feeling where you feel so depressed that your eyes are heavy and you're so lifeless and lethargic that the simple act of moving away from your room or computer seems impossible.
I feel like the only real option here is suicide.

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Yeah I don't know, it seems to come and go for me. I've been feeling like that for a week but I'm getting better, even though I didn't really change anything about my routine.
I can see how having friends helps with this. Like true, honest friends who care about you and don't talk shit about you. Not the kind that just calls you when they want to get shitfaced together or need money and hang out without you behind your back. I wish those people weren't so rare.

Fuck the idea that you "have" to be happy, happiness is not mandatory.

So what then?
I'm meant to want to live for this everlasting sadness and dissatisfaction with living?
I just get worse and worse the longer i stay in this kind of life style of mine. Stuck in the safe zone without the will to leave it until im forced to.

What drove you into that lifestyle in the first place? Are you afraid or something or just don't want to live differently?

I dont think anything specifically drove me to live like this.
I just kinda drifted into it, without consent really.
It was what was easiest maybe.
I'm terrified of change and leaving the comfortable lifestyle i have even if living like this makes me want to commit suicide.
Anytime i tried to get out of this lifestyle i usually fail and go back to it.
I also dont believe im meant to be happy so that helps me stay like this.
Maybe these are all excuses i honestly dont know anything but what actually happens and that is nothing changes and i do nothing.

The feeling of happiness is a reward for doing something you consider enjoyable or significant. If you aren't feeling happiness at all, you have obvious sympthoms of depression (besides wanting to kill yourself). Go to a doc, get pills.

I really should do that but as i said it seems incredibly difficult.

Why do you think you shouldn't be happy? What is it about failure that stings so much you decide to not try again?

Self worth maybe?
I believe myself to be under every single living person even thought logically that isn't the case.
I've tried multiple times to leave living like this and technically im still trying (e.g. uni) but im struggling with that.
Being alive gives me the chance to make someone's life harder and if i do that i usually feel dreadful.
I think im going on to much already, i feel bad for wasting your time.

If I thought you were wasting my time I'd stop replying to you. I'm just wondering why you're feeling so defeated and if I can say anything that would change your mind.
Is there any reason you think so little of yourself? If you're not comfortable airing your dirty laundry it's fine.

I dont know
No job?
No friends?
Parents arguing all the time?
Never built independence?
Anxiety?
Depression?

I don't like blaming things to be honest.
I think my heads fucked and there really isn't any reason to it.
I just think the way i do and if pills don't work nothing will, i tried therapy once and i felt so bad for my parents knowing that I'm mentally ill and paying for therapy when it wasn't doing anything for me so i stopped going and acted like a normal person afterwards.

Nobody is happy. You can be happy sometimes, but it's not permanent.

Obviously, but i feel like I'm never happy and all of my emotions are faked when im in public.
Can you be happy or even atleast content sitting in your room.

Did you have any friends in the past? Or were there any people that tried to befriend you?

Yeah i have, i don't talk to them anymore as we just drifted apart.
I speak online with people in servers but its never anything meaningful.
I long for a connection that matters but am to afraid to try and get it.

we had one place that we could come to and be ourselves
we never bothered anyone and never asked for anything
we even isolated ourselves from the rest of the internet
but no THEY they removed that from us, the bullies from hs and the people supporting them they will never NEVER leave us alone
they want us to die and erase us from this world completely
they won't stop until we are all dead

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They really ruined this place, i miss the old feels threads where depressed user's could just go and talk about things.

Why did you drift apart? Does your fear of getting true connections stem from something?

I guess i lost interest in unmeaningful friendships. If i cant talk about whats in my head and have to act around them i usually just vanish and they never care to check up because why would they? I'm nothing special and am probably incredibly boring to be around.
The fear of getting true connections isnt purely being afraid of true connections but rather the fact that i have to actively seek those connections somewhere and i dont have the courage to do that. Im fine with talking about my emotions but being able to talk about them with someone that wants to listen is a very rare thing.

then that means u dont rly want to change
u'd rather continue ur sad excuse of a life than to go to a doc and take meds. sometimes meds are all it takes, but u cant even go do that

because if u really, really did want to change, you wouldnt be sitting here and saying its difficult. thats not what someone who genuinely wants to change does

AHAHAH THE NORMIE MEDS MEME
IT DOESNT WORK FAGGOT
DEPRESSING PEOPLE JUST KEEP GROWIN EVERY YEAR YOU THINK YOUR STUPID PILLS CHANGE ANYTHING FUCKNIG RETARD?

ok then replace that with '

> u cant do that if u have depression dumbass

ok then i guess u dont want to change enough? then live with the consequences

Who know's if you're right.
Its just the thought of going to the doctors by myself.
Walking up to the cute receptionist and sperging out cause i cant talk to her
Then not being able to hold back my emotions to the doctor saying that i have suicidal thoughts every day and cant help but think suicide is the only option out of this painful existence.
It seems like if i go to do something like that and it doesnt work ill break and actually go through with ending it.
isnt me btw

do u have anyone w can go with?

right now u have 2 paths u can take
1. continue like this for the unforeseeable future
2. face ur fears (which are temporary, and generated in ur head) and do something about it

here's the thign u shd realize: no one really cares about u sperging out, or not holding back emotions. at most some people will laugh, but then they will completely forget the incidnet 5 minutes later. everyone cares about themselves first and foremost, no one actually cares if u fuck up in public. just go to the doctor dude if not im not convinced that u actually want to change

What about 3. ?
Where i face my fears and try to do something about it and nothing works. Im stuck like this with no way out and nothing i can do about my sadness.
Should i just kill myself then?

>Where i face my fears and try to do something about it and nothing works. Im stuck like this with no way out and nothing i can do about my sadness

then try again
it feels hopeless but u only need to succeed one time then u realize its all trial and error
dont b afraid to ask for help
for eg. u r asking for help here, now go do it irl

Asking here and there is completely different.
I cant just "dont b afraid" its not how it works man.
I wish i could just say fuck it and rely on people but it feels like the end of the world if i even try something like that.
You make it sound so easier but with me its literally mental gymnastics if i try do anything with my life.

bumping thread need time to format thoughts before it gets archived

Are you going to respond?
I'll bump it once

Porn, masturbation, drugs
And other self destruction vices

Vidya no longer works. I don't even feeling reconnecting with my best friend anymore. What do?

do something crazy. Like really crazy. Doesn't have to be illegal, just crazy.

You can thank me later :)

I simply cope until I can't neet and then kms.