I'm finally realizing that the reason I (34yo boomer KV) am not willing to do anything to improve my situation...

I'm finally realizing that the reason I (34yo boomer KV) am not willing to do anything to improve my situation, from fidning better career opportunioties to seeking psychiatric help for my issues, is that I still have fantasies about confronting the bullies that made me into what I am and make them feel like shit about how I keep suffering.
On a rational way I know it wil never happen, and if it did happen, no one would give a fuck, and I should let go for my own sake and heal.
But I'm afraid that I have become a glutton for this punishment I keep inflicting on myself, and also that I've missed out on so much that I could never relate to people and society anyway.
The more I think about it the more suicide seems the only rational way out. It's not like I'm never going to die otherwise.

Attached: 1537037292721.jpg (300x300, 42K)

Take them out with you atleast. Or cut off their dicks.

admitting this to yourself is the first step to making actual progress

Take 4 years of jiu-jitsu classes. Go everyday. And you'll prevail agains your bullies. That's the formula of success. If you want it, you can do it.

this. all bullies deserve to die, or at least be castrated

a lot of words to say lazy

Anyway you should take action- whether to yourself or the bullies

They're our brothers too. They just need guidance (a beating). Wish death to no one.

Put those bullies in court and make them pay a heavy fine for your health conditions. That would be sweet.

>realize you're behaving irrationally
>realize what the rational course of action is
>continue behaving irrationally and claim suicide is the solution

Attached: Shrug.jpg (377x500, 46K)

I'm jealous I wish I had this fantasy.
I was ruthlessly bullied but it was so bad that my personality melted away in the process and I can't remember almost any of it.

>be depressed
>dude just cheer up lmao
>be starving nigger African child
>dude just eat food lmao and be white
>lose a hand
>dude just don't lose your hands lmao
That's why fucked up people are fucked up boyo: knowing your problems is different from having the ability or support system to solve them

There are people here in similar situation who had no bullies to speak of. Chances are you're not this way because of your bullies, they just fit as an excuse.

Not OP but I distinctly remember being a happy, well-adjusted, and popular child until I got bullied. Everything changed.

Just let it go.
The way I see it is that bullies do what they do to people they deem to have low self-respect. Once you stand up to them, you show them that self-respect, and even if you know that they will beat the shit out of you, at least they will think that it is a hassle to bother you again.
Learn from your past mistakes so they don't happen again and let them go.

Depends on when it happened, too.
Being bullied when you're 10, 12, even 14 feels like a bad dream.
Being bullied while you're growing into a young adult and trying to assert yourself? That will fuck you up.

For me it was really bad because it was a daily thing with no way out.
I got in trouble on the bus the first week of school for taking a sip of soda (there was a no drinks rule) and the bus driver hated me from that moment and moved me to the front of the bus and made me sit with these 3 older kids who were always in trouble. They bullied me every morning and every afternoon for a year. There was nothing I could do and it felt like my soul just slowly drained away. I would just shut down and stare at my shoes. That bitch bus driver would sometimes look up at me in the mirror and smirk. I developed huge social anxiety, I used to have to throw up my breakfast in the bathroom every morning before the bus arrived because I thought puking helped make the anxiety go away.

The fucked up thing is that the adults never help in those situations.
They might just say "boys will be boys" but I think that, in reality, they follow hteir instincts about letting natural selection do its thing, just like apes.

The fucked up thing is that the adults never help in those situations.
They might just say "boys will be boys" but I think that, in reality, they follow hteir instincts about letting natural selection do its thing, just like apes.
Since we're about apes, wanna know something interesting? In orangutans, a young male around a more dominant one will not fully develop his own secondary sexual characteristica, namely his flanges, until he can get away from the dominant male's range (though to be triggered by hearing the dominant male's roar within or outside a certain distance)
In some ways this applies to young human males as well, and they say that among all apes the orangutans are closest to us in intelligence, temperament and genetically (though they are far more solitary than us)

>I used to have to throw up my breakfast in the bathroom every morning before the bus arrived because I thought puking helped make the anxiety go away.
Dude, that's fucked up, the bus driver was a criminal and hte adults around you morons for not helping you
I'm sorry you had to go through that

Man has a point. I'm 22 and every night I fantasize being a success and randomly meeting all my HS bullies and the popular kids by some chance. I show off how I'm now better than them.

Twist is I'm a loser NEET and they are living fantastic lives. I still stalk them on social media. Seeing them being so happy makes me retreat back into my fantasies and makes me ignore my life.