"Well look who decided to come out of his cave"

Fpbp.

First one sure, how is dumping a bitch and not buying her a present cucked?

uhmm you realize that a 360 would be the equivalent of 2 180s which would be walking back to ur family???

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no because we are adults and must thus carry on the tradition via BUYING present for the young ones

>these fools don't realize I've left humanity behind long ago.
>I step towards the table
>"no. You will join me."
>grab the nearest man in the red sweater by the lapel.
>pull his face up to mine
>"I'm on the all-meat diet"
>unhinge jaw and bite off his head
>everyone is panicking
>the dyel in the green shirt tries to fight me but my gainz are too powerful for him
>I catch his fist with my palm and he feels the power of my rotator cuffs. He knows is hopeless.
>thanks, Athlean-X
>I rip out his heart and eat it in front of him
>"best source of protein, brah."
>the little girl in the pink dress screams and cries "daddy!"
>she shall join him
>I bite off her entire top half.
>her lower half flops to the ground
>one other child slips and falls as he tries to get away
>I slide along the ground with my jaw unhinged and gulp him up in one bite
>the rest have made their way to the front door only to find that I had barricaded it earlier.
>now they are trapped
>the blonde roastie starts begging
>"user! Please! We'll do anything you want! Please don't hurt us!"
>I pause for a second and eye her up and down.
>"3/10. Would not bang."
>besides, I'm on nofap
>I quickly devour the rest. Some struggle. Some cry. Some just go limp. However, none of them escape
>I daintily dab my lips with my gym/semen rag
>"what a lovely Christmas meal, guys. Thank you so much. Now I have to get to the gym and train."
>get hungry again on the way to the gym
>fucking keto diet

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No, but then not everybody is a self-centered douche.

I got dumped a week before Christmas once and I was all mopey while hanging out with my family haha

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I was dumped almost a week before Christmas and it just sucks.

Hi, you must be new to the internet! Allow me to be your guide!

What's wrong with this? I wish my family was this nice to me

I was dumped at Christmas.

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Truly autistic

>Even though she said I was the nicest guy she ever dated
There's your first mistake
>I asked for attention
And here's your second mistake

I wanna fuck that blonde woman on the right in front of her kids and husband.

based.

>"I'm on the all-meat diet"
>fucking keto diet
if you're going to be acoustic at least make it not retarded.

Nope. I lost interest when the girl I wanted to marry broke up with me. Holidays have kind of been meh this year. But I appreciate being around my small family.

Thats a yikes from me, dawg.

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>mom and grandma go to sleep at 10
another christmas in my room
sighs

There are no young ones any more, at least none that I see at Xmas. So the gift thing is history for me.

just trying to stay low till my doughs correct?

>tfw italian family
>tfw they would murder me if i refused their cooking

No but I gained new interest in actually buying presents. This was the first Christmas when I was genuinely more interested in whether my family is happy with the presents I bought than what I would be getting.

*ahem* FUCK NEWFAGS

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THEN MAKE SOME YOUNG ONES, YOU'RE EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH THE WEST YOU SELFISH WHITE NIGGER

>brother fucks some cute
>i jerk off to drawings online
Story of my life

I hope you fasted afterwards

>falling for the double bait

A week ago this year? That sucks man, but take it from me youll get better

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how are white people family dinners like?

Funny how there is something as 'white culture' in America, I drive 4 hours any direction and there's about 10 different traditional ways to celebrate and prepare christmas dinner

How?
Are you surprised to see homecooked meals and a father at the table?

I'll do that, user. I've already kind of started to as well.

They actually have fathers at the table.

A different snack at your local gas station doesn't count as a separate traditional way of doing anything

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Christmas in and of itself is literally and unironically purely white culture

oh slow down we gotta STEM major here bros

I've noticed this too. Different regions do different things. My family dinners are 10/10, even the death threats shouted from across the house and the tryhard-incognito alcoholism. It all gives it a bit more flavor imo.

No bro I'm bulking.
>eat all the food quick so no one can have seconds
>get drunk as fuck and say racist remarks
>burp and go lay down to acquire gains in dreamville

Fucking kek

Where the fuck am I going to sit Dad

>Falling for the triple bait
Normies GET OUT
>inb4 falling for the quadruple bait
But it doesn't work that way, 3 leves of irony is enough, beyond that it stops being funny

This may shock you but in certain parts of the world there are many small countries clustered together. Crazy right?

Also, the phrase "gas station" does not exist outside North America

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>normies
>falling for the triple bait
Come on now.

Next you'll say:
>I was only pretending to be retarded!

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How can someone be white and a nigger simultaneously?

y-you too

wtf did i just read

>champ

Don’t patronize me you fucking nigger

this

blood for the blood god

>tfw italian
>told my family to go fuck themselves years ago

I only miss the food

Impara a cucinare bene bro

oops, meant to quote this nig

It is NEVER a mistake to ask for what you want in a relationship. I'll admit though, it's a dweeb move to put any stock in what girls say about you, ESPECIALLY that you're "nice."

>It is NEVER a mistake to ask for what you want in a relationship.
lol, no

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Depends entirely on how strong the family is. Dinner at my stepmoms is pretty cringey and stressful because everyone is snide to eachother and act like nothing is happening because they live off toxicity. She's a single mom who raised a narcissistic psycopath. Her mom raised a narcissist. They're just really pompous people that are obsessed with status. Step mom grew up poor so her mom is smug for no reason, but my step mom has new-money and it doesn't help the situation.

Dinner at my mom's or at friends houses is great because everyone's just happy to be together so nothing is forced. Like love n shit. Nobody is flexing or posturing. Conversation is genuine. People start talking because they want to talk and people listen and respond because they are genuinely interested. It sounds simple and it is but it's just nice when people are good.

Listen friend. Girls need one thing from any bf: personality. Personality is your ability to act how you will without regard for how you are perceived, and to NOT NEED VALIDATION.

Desperation will make any woman hate your guts. They cannot help it and will become revolted by you. Consider being with someone who bases their actions on how you may critisize them. It's boreing. They don't offer anything to your life, least of all as a companion. Before you can be romantically desirable you must be an individual. Give up validation and approach every date, every fuck, every relationship as something you have decided to participate in because YOU WANT TO.

>a dozen desserts
>none of them are vegan