i am what pretty much anyone would label a 'monster'
i have pedophilic, zoophilic, necrophilic and cannibalistic traits.
i am only ashamed because society says i should be.
i've never raped any human or non-humans, nor have i desecrated any graves or tried to groom any kids.
at one point i pretty seriously considered burning down a church (where people lived), but i never did it (i don't remember why, hopefully because i realised it would be pretty evil). i have since evolved and i do not want to violate the sovereignty of others, and so i never shall.
all my life i have dreamt about finding my soulmate - someone who is insane like me, but not a practicing rapist murderer. i am a caring human with lots of love and empathy to give - i'm just very different. i'm definitely not a psychopath since i can pretty easily tell so-called "right" from "wrong", and i'm not hell-bent on acting out my fantasies.
inb4 i'm lying, cool cory co, attentionwhore penis, bla bla bla
Cannibalism, by definition, is not something you can have "traits" of. You've ether eaten a person or you haven't.
Jason Mitchell
Well, (at least) I would rate you as a monster, if you would've DONE those things you mentioned. If you're not destroying other peoples lives, then it's fine with me. But, you can't know what will happen in the future, you might snap and go insane or something. That's why society is afraid of 'monsters' like you. Look man, this is who you are, you can't really change your brain all that much. Just make yourself and people around your freaky ass happy. :^)
Thought crime isnt real. You are no different than anyone else until you are different. Soulmates do not exist, all relationships are based in the time they are made. Finding a partner is not difficult once you realize this. If you seek the judgement and opinions of others as to who you are I would suggest trying to be more self-aware of your own self. Others will give you no true insight into you without you anyway.
ok thank you for the clarification, I shall henceforth refer to myself as cannibal-curious.
>Well, (at least) I would rate you as a monster, if you would've DONE those things you mentioned. If you're not destroying other peoples lives, then it's fine with me. >But, you can't know what will happen in the future, you might snap and go insane or something. That's why society is afraid of 'monsters' like you. i might snap, but probably not. as i said i haven't done any of those things, i don't want to hurt anyone. yes, it is who i am.
i don't subscribe to the notion of 'thought crime' either. would you mind elaborating on "all relationships are based in the time they are made." You have been most helpful.
Demon? By your dogma, is that worse or better than 'monster'?
Being knowledgable about your possible tendencies and holding back is one of the best things you can do. You shouldn't be ashamed, just don't enact on any urges and you should be fine.
Colton Anderson
Do these thoughts pop into your head and you eventually came to accept them as part of who you are, or do you enjoy imagining the scenarios?
Evan Cruz
thank you
it's a tough question. i think on the whole, i enjoy it, but life would be easier without. keeping secrets is severely taxing on the psyche. this is not an exhaustive, sufficient answer, but it's in the ballpark.
Aiden Bell
I..i can relate to you in so many levels op (except for the canibalistic). Am straight male tho, sorry
Anthony Wilson
Perhaps it's exhausting because you feel guilty. Maybe try to not give in to enjoyment, but don't thrash against it. Have you tried meditating?
>tfw took a "strong" dose of dxm. >Tripping in bed >Suddenly boner and gay sex images flood my brain. I'm not gay, but i know I could have came buckets then. I just calmed down and ignored it. Eventually my brain moved on.
I know your shit is leagues different, but I hope an example of one odd experience still helps. That's not even the worst of my mental tortures since it was "just a trip", but that trip felt like a learning experience.
(Imo Human bodies are mechanical and the Brain pills the strings. Our spirit needs to matter the monkey mind.)
Sebastian Hall
thanks for temporarily alleviating my alienation/loneliness
did you have a decent upbringing? my parents fought a lot, and scolded me a lot, i got spanked a lot, but i was never abused or traumatised to any significant extent. there was no hate or child negligence involved.
Yup guilt, i would not call it guilt however, but it IS the closest available word for what i am feeling. i probably just have some very atypical brain wiring (note i didn't say faulty).
i have dabbled briefly with meditation, but not with any particular goal in mind (other than generic peace of mind, lel) i think body and mind are strongly intertwined, essentially the same. these days, listening to Alan Watts is the extent of my meditative efforts, which I try to do daily.
Yeah, guilt/accusation/something hanging over you. I agree about body/mind. But I believe the spirit is higher than either of those.
Oliver Cooper
Nope. Normal childhood. Seriously don't know where those things came from. In fact my mother is wonderful. My father is an asshole to me, abuses me (emotionally) but thats it. I feel rally bad for beung like that. Not because "its wrong". But because it makes me different, and people hate different, wich makes me afraid. But everything is so weird for me.. I just don't feel comfortable talking about those things online, you know. Not safe. But yeah, long story short: for some reason I like stuff for reasons I dont know, even tho the idea of doing it myself is literally nonexistant.
Charles Hughes
You do not fall in love with a person for who they are, because you can never know another person truly. You can only know the time they are in. The times you have with another are not you having that person, it is you having that time. A soulmate implies it was always meant to be, this is not the case. It was the time, and maybe the place that time was in. Memories are all we have of each other, and memories are not people, they are times. So its easier to find someone to spend time with, when you are looking for the time, not the person.
>I feel rally bad for beung like that. Not because "its wrong". But because it makes me different, and people hate different, wich makes me afraid. i can see myself in this.
>You do not fall in love with a person for who they are, because you can never know another person truly. You can only know the time they are in. The times you have with another are not you having that person, it is you having that time. >A soulmate implies it was always meant to be, this is not the case. It was the time, and maybe the place that time was in. Memories are all we have of each other, and memories are not people, they are times. >So its easier to find someone to spend time with, when you are looking for the time, not the person. this is very instrospective and fits perfectly into my butthole. thank you user
I kinda see myself being a bit like you OP. If people could read my mind I probably would have to move somewhere were no one could ever find me. I would never commit any of the acts I think about, but I still think about them. We're not monsters OP, we're just abnormal, and there's nothing we can do about it aside from never committing any of the things we think about.
Hunter Hall
i appreciate your input, fellow abnormie
Josiah Powell
>I wont burn a church because its evil
Or maybe youre to much of a fucking pussy going to jail for 10 years ya fucking edgelord faggot
Hi OP I'm just like you. Keep on being a daywalker. One of the good demons. Whatever you call it. Being able to see the dark and choose the light is strength beyond strength.
