Can we get a loner feels thread going? It has been a while

Can we get a loner feels thread going? It has been a while

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The other day I went to the corner shop to buy some snacks and I had a brief conversation with the cute cashier. She had pretty amber colored eyes and I could stop staring at them. Anyways, our hands touched when she gave me my change and I walked out with a strange rising cold air in me. I realized that I've been isolated so long and hadn't had a conversation with another human in 2 years that I forgot I had crippling anxiety and social interaction made me nervous. But, I talked to her like it was nothing, I think there's a million miles between me and the world and it feels weird that I don't feel nothing towards it and it's people. I don't mean in an edgy nihilist way but, all the baggage I had as a teen is gone. I'm now just literal unfeeling robot. Weird. I spoke to that girl and it felt like nothing to freak out about, it was just a conversation where I had the thousand yard stare. Don't give me that NPC shit. I have thoughts but I feel like I'm on the fringe. Could this feeling of distance be used as a shortcut to try to make myself into a normal person? I dunno, but I'll see if I can. If anyone has experience with this can you tell me if it's temporary or is it a second chance

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I like to sit around at busy places and just stare.

Became fit yet that doesn't cure social anxiety.

You stopped caring and feeling which is why you don't feel anxious even when talking with a cute girl. You don't care what she thinks about you, you don't want to impress her, you know she doesn't and will never care about you and this most likely applies to other people as well. If you've truly reached that point, I don't think you could use it to make yourself "normal". You're far gone. If anything, you could learn how to act like a normal person.

You can almost tell this is normalfag shit why didnt they just say tfw this reads so weirdly now

People are so wonderful. I have no idea why I don't seem to want to talk to them. It's almost like my mind is split in two between an outgoing hapless romantic, and a daydreaming misanthrope.
I don't even know who I really am at this point. If I were asked to describe my personality I don't think I could. I feel like I'm being split in two, completely indecisive and thus reduced to a spectator of my own life.
All I ever do is listen, watch, and fantasize.

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I went in to the city early in the morning a few days ago. I had no purpose to be there, no appointments to go to or work to perform. I just drifted in on a whim. I walked around in a semi-daze and made an attempt to see the city with fresh eyes, as though I had never seen one before and I had to, with as little context as possible, piece together what I was seeing. I let my vision waft over all the different shapes and surfaces and found it to be incredibly entertaining as I discovered details and connections I would not have otherwise. As time passed the day got hotter and I found myself sheltering on a seat in the shadow of a highway bridge. The bridge was next to an old colonial era building; the bridge itself was about 20 or 30 years old and covered in a electrical boxes, and from out of these boxes came all kinds of wires and tubes that run their way all over the side, and underneath, the bridge. I found it hard not to view them as lifeforms, crude and and rudimentary and artificial but operating on many of the same principles as organic life, and so I saw them as a kind of robotic barnacle on the underbelly of the bridge. I then watched the cars and saw them as strange machine-beasts. Finally I began to stare at this little gap situated between the old colonial building, with its faux-greek columns of marble and the grimy concrete bridge. The space between them was maybe two hand-spans at the most and it gave me a sense of wonderful freedom. There was nothing in that space. I stood up so I could get closer to it and imagined all kinds of beings made of absence living in that void. Like shapes formed by negative space. This was pretty funny so I started laughing, which I realized must have made me look strange. All in all I was in that area for maybe 45 minutes, lost in my imaginings. I left and wondered around for a few more hours and went home.

I guess this is what I do now I am unemployed.

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do people not ask to sit in the seat by the window?
i always want the aisle seat because im too big to sit next to the window. i dont care if someone sits next to me, but im not sliding over to the window

>Specially says they aren't an npc
t. NPC

Comfy. I always wanted to do it but either didn't have the time or the will power

That's some comfy stuff. Nice reading.

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The only person I've spoken to in a month is my dad. My excuse for not getting a job just ran out. My passion for my hobbies is gone too. Can I get neetbucks for extremely bad anxiety? I can't even imagine getting another job.

You should write a light novel about the adventures of a neet, user.

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Just join the military and make your dad proud

That or trucking is my last resort. I'm pretty smart so I could probably get a decent non-combat position.

Bump
Oiiargnl

A Marine guy stopped then asked me my age at Walmart when I went there bored late at night. He looked appauled when I told him I didn't work. He was trying to have me set an appointment, but there whas no whay.

Town I moved to doesnt have self checkout, its awful.

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fuck man, that's rough. I use the self checkout pretty much exclusively

i have like 3 friends i guess so im ok i guess but i miss having acquaintances and regularly meeting new people. i never have conversations with others that i feel actually give me new ideas or knowledge. i like to analyze the perspectives of others but they are almost always irrational or irreverent. everyone forgets the fact that they have their own lens and happily embraces the viewpoint that best fits their lives' narratives/impedes growth. i should join debate or something to meet people who get it and aren't le philosobros but im too fucking lazy and i cant hold down a decent sleep schedule
also males never take me seriously intellectually. ever.

Moved cities 6 years ago for work, slowly but surely lost contact with my friends back home.

Haven't made any new friends here. I talk to people at work but it's just not the same... I think I'd go crazy if it wasn't for the dumb office pleasantries and memes.

I've settled into a routine now tho, every week is the same but I don't mind it too much. I feel like I'm preparing for something, but I'm not sure what or when.

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>be me last friday night
>uni is buzzing with homecoming shit
>nobody to talk to, nowhere to go
>get drunk and play loud ass music over my bass amp
>decide to walk around the city
>nothing interesting
>stop at a street performer playing rock covers
>this guy looks about 50, old equipment, worn out truck and clothes
>throw some money in his case and sit on the sidewalk while everyone goes by
>another man who appears to be very poor or homeless comes and sits with me
>he's also drunk
>share cigarettes with him
>talks to me about how we need a walmart in the center of the city, where to get a CD player
>we watch girls as they walk by
>watch his backpack for him while he looks around to get some food
>comes back and shakes my hand in appreciation
>listen to the music

>1:30AM
>thank the man for his company and give him a couple dollars I had in my pocket
>thank the musician
>head back to dorm

that was honestly the best time I've had at uni thus far

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I just lost both of my best friends because of me being a depressed piece of shit

for me it's like molten gold, beautiful to watch it roll and spin with itself from a distance, but I'm just too soft and fragile to interact with it without disrupting it and destroying myself

34, lived alone for about 14 years now. I like silence a lot. Not quiet, but SILENCE. As in absolutely no sound at all except your breathing and heartbeat. Can't really get that around other people.

I hear shit. High frequency noise mostly, but I can hear things other people can't. It's usually the sound of electrical coils or other small devices / transformers that other people either can't hear or maybe just can't pick out - but they're fucking so loud for me. It's unnerving.

A lot of derealization in the last few months. Actions feel involuntary. Voluntary actions feel like I'm controlling my body 1 step removed - like through an interface rather than me actually doing it in person. Very strange, although it hasn't impeded my logic or reason yet. I'm cognizant of when it's happening, but can't always immediately snap myself out of it.

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I do that too
When Im waiting the public transport or in the bus, looking the people on the streets.

I wanna die. Nothing is great

I like silence a lot, too. I've gotten to the point where I will shut myself up in my room, avoiding anything that involves interaction. I also hesitate to use my cellphone, even when it's a known contact. I like to think that if the caller does not leave a voicemail then the call wasn't important to begin with and I can safely ignore it.

tfw you wear the same hoodie, pants and use earpods on the bus with the same seats. On a loners threathed

Go back to the shop in some days. But something that won't make you appear like a child. Take a pause when she's checking out your stuff. Compliment on her eyes. There like sunset or something. Go around dusk.

>dont greet anyone
>dont open doors for anyone
>aggressively switch lanes
>if I see a car needs to get over i dont let them in
>always use self check out

Walking home in the snow. Sunny day. Comfy suburb afternoon. One time a young girl offered me a ride. I said no. Not today. I want to enjoy this day alone.

That was a good read user. I hope you do more

Loner feels, not retard feels. You're going to kill yourself and other people driving like that. Follow the rules you nignog, we live in a SOCIETY, traffic doesn't look like fucking China's because people behave more predictably

I don't give a fuck, user.
I've been driving for 20 years. 0 accidents. 0 tickets. Driving aggressively does not mean I am breaking any law you fucking drooling idiot.

Terrifying how arrogant and defensive you are. One day you're going to underestimate your "skills", cut someone off or block someone at the wrong time and I only hope you're the only one that suffers for it. I hope you get a ticket for your unsafe behavior and have to take a traffic class or something.

Nice read- please write more! You're talented.

Anyone else almost forgotten how to talk? Whenever anyone in class or at the store tries to make small talk my mind just goes blank. Even when people ask "how ya doin?" I just completely shut down and struggle to come up with an appropriate response.

MRW I remember I dont get lonely and I literlaly never see people to interact with socially.
/T6sWjq

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I don't enjoy anything anymore and I just work to slave away and exist.
As someone who's been in the trucking industry, you probably don't want to do that unless you want to work 16+hours unpaid overtime, pissing in bottles struggling to make deadlines while dispatchers yell at you.

You're not a piece of shit, bro. You're upset that you've lost them. That means you've got empathy. It must be really hard to maintain relationships right now for you.

It's starting to get cold, and dark sooner. I can cover up more and not be sweaty and uncomfortable. I hate being seen. I'm legitimately considering sticking ice packs under my clothes next summer so I can stay covered up. Cold is beauty

>haven't had friends since middle school
>21
>feel like i'm too hideous to talk to people

on top of that, i go to community college where no one socializes. i don't think there's an end in sight for me. i depression nap all day

Work dead end job, days seem to fly by in a long blur.
Have a lot of side projects I work in my free time.
Parents are happy that I dont play much vidya or watch anime and that I am being "productive"
I know they mean well it just doesnt reach me.
The only thing that makes me physically recoil is when they ask "when will you get a gf?"

That actually sounds really comfy user not even kidding

bruv you might have auditory processing or something like that

>don't want to be around other people
>don't want to regret not being around other people
What the fuck do you do about this?

i probably just lost my only friend again. an online friend, mind you. i have never had any physical friends.
i dont even know if i can call that a feel. i dont know if i feel anything at all, about anyone. i say that i care, i tell myself all these things about wanting to care about people and myself so bad. about wanting to get better, about wanting to help the world even in the most insignificant way. i tell myself how much i just want to make someone feel cared about, even though i cant even do that same for myself, in even the slightest of ways.
but thats all just a lie. i dont care about anyone. im probably alone again, and i probably caused this person so much strife and annoyance and even pain, but its like i feel nothing. just anger at myself, because its all about me. everything is about me, me, me, isnt it. i was raised to believe that i would always get what i want. and now, i finally have what i wanted, all to myself. nothing. my own destruction, even if others have to suffer too because of it. and i just keep asking for more.
but who cares. this is all so juvenile and melodramatic. i dont have any real problems. anyone with half a brain cell reading this would surely agree, even if they wont say it. its all in my head. people like me, living in relative luxury, should be happy and mindless. the fact that i think about anything is a mistake. i am a mistake.

Here have this feel.

Fuck me if reading that didn't hurt. Are you me bruh ?

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Holy shit this is some pretentious writing. Couldn't read past the fourth sentence. It reeks of a kid who's trying too hard to be a good writer.

You aren't hearing electrical coils you big dumbo retard, you have mild tinnitus. (i have the same thing and actually a lot of fucking people have it without realising it) There's actually a technique to make it stop for a few seconds , you should look it up you big dumbo retard.

I thought it read kind of well personally but I wasn't impressed either mainly because it got boringly autistic at the end.

You should join your papers obituary section.

Manga? I'm a sucker for romance, one of my favourite copes.

>I talk to people at work but it's just not the same... I think I'd go crazy if it wasn't for the dumb office pleasantries and memes.
I relate, I hoped getting a job would not only solve financial issues but also help me get in contact with humans.
Sadly I don't have much in common with my colleagues so outside work I'm still a loner, just with less free time.

I'm looking for ways to escape this routine, I'm very scared of nothing changing in the coming 5 or 10 years.

Relateable user, my favourite times at uni have been where I've had a bit to drink and then go off into the city and find companions in the night.

Couple weeks ago I came out of a nightclub (friend dragged me, fucking hate them) and there was a homeless looking guy chatting with one of the bouncers so I went up and stood with them for a bit and joined in, turns out they'd known each other for years and used to go to bare knuckle fights together, and he showed me some on my phone.

His train and my room were the same kind of direction, so we walked together, he'd got himself a place in some estate, told me about his times spent in prison, kept on trying to get me listen to some reggae band and was saying how much money you could make as an electrician. Gave him one of my pills and we went our separate ways.

Was pretty interesting, side of society I don't often come into contact with.

>too normie for the losers
>not cool enough for the normies
>not ugly enough to ignore
>not attractive enough to be interested in
I'm very lonely.

You are alone because you chose to be alone. Fuck you! Get off your lazy entitled ass and go find a mate or neck yourself

You're not a loner then. Loner != lonely

Being totally alone by myself in my room is fine. Its being alone in a crowd that gets me. Watching other people form their packs and move as groups having fun together while you're by yourself is what hurts.

I think this is the reason why I can't really relate to Jow Forums. It seems most people here are lonely rather than actual loners - failed normies rather than robots. That's why depression is such a common theme here. This also explains the rampant attention whoring, discord threads, and incel threads.

Why can't you be both? I don't want to be around anyone ever but I also don't want to regret wasting my life alone.

>expecting james joyce-tier writing on an autistic crayfishing forum
give the lad a break

>that was honestly the best time I've had at uni thus far
i could probably say the same for nights i've been out on my own. you just feel more appreciative of your surroundings, which is mega /comfy/. plus there's no retarded bar-hopping or competition amongst friends for female attention

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College football frat guy here
Tore my ACL, LCL, and meniscus in my left knee, and I injured my right knee the past game with the possibility of it being a torn MCL. Got shit tons of papers due in the coming weeks so my sleep schedules fucked. Virgin and never been in a relationship despite what positive shit everyone says about me (nice hair, nice muscles, super nice, etc). Awkward as fuck around women I like and I'm trying my fucking best to fix that but I fail every time.

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eventually you stop caring about whether they reject or recoil upon interacting with you. This makes it much easier to interract with others.

Sounds like you're preparing to pay child support for Chad's son :^)

Felt the same once but it didn't help me to make me a normal person
In the end you realize how different you are from normal people

Komi-san, have fun reading it my dude

you were basically handing money and things to everyone that gave you attention

user, try to research the link between the types of personality and the Tarot archetypes. Might seem a little alternative and crazy talk in general, but finding my card helped me a ton, because I finally had some kind of basis to understand what I did/do. I think it's a worthwhile experience in general, Jung was a fucking genius.

Shit man komi-san makes me fucking sad and jealous but happy inside, masterpiece manga right here

Absolute 10/10 thread right here, feeling all kinds of comfy and happy by the chill stories anons are posting, you did gud op

>dont care about anyone if I dont have to
>dont care enough to get close to anyone
>none of it really bothers me and I just go around doing my day to day business
>tfw
Got a new job recently, guess we will see how that goes.
Same here, personally that shit is fucking annoying even for Jow Forums standards. A lot of people here are just people who want but cant become normies. There are few actual loners, just failed normies calling themselves robots.
>inb4 gatekeeping

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Damn, I deal with this every day. Girls think I'm really attractive until I open my mouth, usually, and so now I don't even reciprocate flirty behavior. Part of me feels like it's a game move, because they probably like when I seem disinterested, but the truth is I'll probably never move past the stage of being someone's crush unless I start learning how to flirt and shit. It's pretty brutal. All my relationships have been with brassy, assertive girls or girls who don't like to play by the rules and be quiet and submissive until a guy has the balls to break past their automatic barrier. I see customers on the regular whose eyes light up when they see me and I just smile back and don't say anything. Hopefully it adds mystique? Idk.

You sound alright, actually. I think it's quiet healthy to be torn between two mindsets. It means you can always change your perspective and look at things from a different angle. You sound open-minded and not like the other robots here... i.e. you're optimistic. Keep that up.

You have a mental illness, user. Sorry. You say pretty-ish things but you sound like you're on LSD.

Establish some context for pretty shit like this.

it's commonplace to tip a street performer when you sit and watch them

the couple dollars I had were from when someone asked me for a couple cigarettes in return and I didn't think i needed them. looking back yeah it was kinda pretentious but it felt like he could use it more than I could

Every day I come to and from work on bus. I just see strangers always laughing and having fun wherever they go. Mostly younger people, but even the older ones seem to have a certain happiness to them. It always reminds me of what an outsider and loner I am. Sucks.

>also males never take me seriously intellectually. ever.
Why's that?

>People are so wonderful

Wow, and I though I was fucking delusional...

I'm currently on a merchant navy ship at the moment. Sometimes I go up forward by the anchor alone and just listen to the wind and the waves go by. It's super comfy. Too bad I'm dropping out. Life is far too complex on these ships.

The internet and mass media gives us a warped view of the world. We only see the worst that humankind has to offer. But when you actually go out and interact with people, you find that most of them are kind and decent. And this may be a shock to robots, but most humans are also insecure and unsure of themselves. It's not something exclusive to us.

If you choose to be a good person, most people will be good back to you. If you choose to be a shit person who hates everyone and everything, people will not be as accepting of you.

Been a loner since 13 and I've been NEETing it up since then (31 now) And I STILL love it! getting high, playing vidya and watching entertaining shit, and doing whatever I want, whenever I feel like it. It's comfy AF desu.

(inb4 salty wagefags, idgaf... kek)

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You're not happy. You've just become numb.

>You're not happy.

Then why did I spend most of today laughing?

lel, get fucked.

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>Then why did I spend most of today laughing?
it's called despersonalization

I live next to a canal and I take myself out for long walks up the towpath every now and again.
Always UP the towpath, never down, down leads into the town centre and it's all polluted/littered/swarming with druggies and drunks the further in to town you go.

If you walk down the towpath for about 30mins from where I live the town melts away and you're just out in the countryside. It's beautiful. I love going for long walks during daylight hours and watching the surroundings change day by day. The only people I see are the guys that live on the canal boats and they're all chill af, just a nod and a wave or the occasional "hi" and honestly, that's all the human contact I really need. On brighter or warmer days you'll see the occasional dog-walker and that's cool too, because I love dogs, but generally it's just me and nature and the gently lapping water.

I realised whilst working the last awful shitty job (that I quit about three weeks ago) that I'm really not cut out for extended periods of contact with other people. I used to drive myself crazy thinking that "if only I could find someone I can get along with" or "I wish I was normal and people didn't piss me off so much" and generally falling down this bullshit rabbit hole of believing all that crap about "not being good enough for society" when really I've ALWAYS been like this, since childhood.

I've been happier in the last three weeks, being NEET and going out for occasional walks to say hi to the bargies or pet a random dog than I ever was in the four months I spent trying to force myself to be a Norman (again.)

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>wow its liek, thiz gui knows me...

Who knew that if I wanted therapy, talking to a Jow Forums pseud should have been the first place to look?

You can just keep on being wrong, I guess. I just remembered that I don't actually care, so whatever.

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Man i still have to force myself to do stuff like pic relatead, but i am getting to it.

me on the right

i'm okay with it

>Live alone
>Sleep pattern is pretty fucked - currently seem to be sleeping from early hours until late afternoon but it can go as crazy as sleeping in the early morning until early evening
>Do weekly shop late at night so I don't have to deal with large amounts of people
>Find I am most comfortable reading a book on the sofa with a window open so I can hear the sounds outside.

We're the same age bro. The first hint of me being a loner came when I was around 10 years old. I was sat on a bench at break time at school at the side of the playground watching the other kids play and I remember feeling like I was watching a different species. I'm a NEET too but I've got autism and mental health issues. I realized a long time ago I'll never be a proper member of society so I've just sort of embraced it and am doing the things that make me somewhat happy up until the point in time comes where I grow the balls to off myself.

HAHA PEPE AND WOJAK

I miss her
origigigigigigigigerano

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I still live with my parents. they've been still giving me small sums of money for fixing things around the house. I began to save up and now I can finally get the charcoal briquettes, portable chimney and tent. How do you make sure the charcoal method goes smoothly ?

> I...
>I....
>I....
>I...
"you" should learn how to write

Please fuck off my board. Women are attracted to you, their eyes light up when they see you and you've had several relationships.

I wish a woman's eyes would light up everytime she saw me. Just one woman. Preferably a not terribly ugly one (3/10 or lower).

This is a nice story. I feel similarly, there's a certain threshold of human contact necessary to maintain dignity, and it's different for everybody. For most of us it's pretty low. Although I had a scary dream yesterday where I realized I don't have many years before I'm alone and in my late 20s with no relationships to speak of. It's so much harder to meet people as you age, and I don't know if I'll still be content living like this as I get older.