>have the shittiest life ever
>born and trapped in a small town my entire life
>every time I try to leave something bad happens and my life always gets worse
>parents are poor as fuck
>never even got to go on vacation anywhere happy or do anything nice
>live in a crumbling broken down house thats barely even livable in anymore
>probably should be condemned shitty as fuck
>no major city close to me
>never even got to visit one
>im in legal trouble now and cant even get high and it makes it impossible to leave my shitty town
>never get to go to any concerts clubs or amusement parks or really anything
>never been able to do anything my entire life except sit out in fields alone or go do dumb hick shit around town with my friends
>literally never get to go to a beach or ride on an airplane or stay in a hotel or do anything like that
>never even get to do the fun shit to do around here like four wheelers
>whenever I fuck up or do something wrong everyone just says WELL THATS YOUR FAULT without ever taking into consideration my depression
>cant even meet or talk to girls because theres none in my town and now im just so depressed and defeated no girl will talk to me
>every time I wake up my body just rushes every shitty thought into my head about how shitty my life is and I cant sleep
>all i wanted was a tiny apartment somewhere nice to live so I have something worthwhile out of life
>trapped with my parents now literally 24/7 and we all just sit in our rooms depressed
>have no friends because theres no one in my town besides like 4 other people and most the people I meet here are crazy as fucking shit
Have the shittiest life ever
i wish i could help you out anyhow.
where are you from?
Damn user your life is bad
new york
i think its the worst out of everyone i know i have a few friends that are legit scizophrenic i think that might be worse because they were just born a ticking time bomb but i still cant tell if my life is worse or not
i imagine new york as a huge city where you can get lost adn easily can get distracted and out of touch with your self. cant you just run away? it really sounds like there is nothing left to loose?
I mean I have my legal trouble if I run away id have a warrant out for my arrest for the rest of my life and id never have a drivers license again
for how long do you have to sit this out?
I know that feel OP. I've spent half my days mindlessly walking around in open fields, watching sunsets, reading. It's all you have
it depends if I could transfer it over to the city it wouldn't be too long and grueling but if I cant it could go on for fucking ever
just the anxiety about whether or not I can do it is fucking killing every day and theres nothing I can do about it
I just dont get how this could happen to me. I was about to move before I got my legal shit and life was finally about to get good after years of waiting and it was going to make up for all the shittiness of life
its like I was meant to fail no matter what. I feel like one of those people that black out and accidentally kill someone or get in a car wreck or something and just wake up to life in prison
I know it can be difficult to live in such a mind numbing place like this some people like me can learn to love it and some like you can learn to hate it. But surely your legal troubles can't keep you here forever. What did you do OP?
are you able to make peace with what you have done ? I can imagine that would help a lot
not really I was literally just about to wrap up this shitty life and be done with It and all in the blink of an eye it was just completely gone
I feel like by the time its over im going to be too old for anything to matter and ill already be late as fuck to the party just sadly doing everything after it doesn't matter. or I feel like something else is gonna happen and fuck it up and ill just end up trapped here every time i get a chance
and for some reason i just feel like the worst shit is going to happen like ill find a way to move even with my legal shit and itll find a way to not work and bad shit will just keep happening thats all thats been happening i haven't caught a break in years
but to make a change in life can never be futile.do not loose faith. i know i am just spitting phrases but there is some truth in them. god, i wish i had some better advice
How old are uuuu?
how the fuck was that not original
its fine i hope its right. i talked to one person i have to deal with and they told me it should be easy to move to the city with the shit im on but hearing from my lawyer made it sound like it was impossible but im hoping hes not right
i hope if i just keep making efforts towards it itll work out as long as i keep trying but fuck i keep getting the worst news ever every time i do something and its just soul crushing on top of me just already being defeated. i cant even laugh anymore
yes i know it's hard and i will never blame anyone who surrenders to that kind of a situation. there are much worse people out there living their life freely so why you shouldn't be one of them?!
yeah the only way i can feel kinda alright i guess is compare myself to people who go to prison
i had to go to jail for a weekend and i talked to this one dude who was a few years older and he said hes already done 6 and 1/2 years in prison and he was in jail waiting to go back. i walked into court and every person that was there with me got 2 years or 2 and 1/2 years and i just walked out on probation
it just sucks ive always been the black sheep loser of my school and people were like holy shit anons moving to a large city all on his own he really surprised us wow holy fuck none of us could do that even the popular people were impressed then later it was oh nevermindheslivingwithhismomstillandnotleaving
FUCK FUCK FUCK
what i see is that you have another chance to do better many people don't get that.
it cannot be that bad if you just have to go in there for two days
yeah i know it just sucks i never really saw myself going into jail at all tho and these people have just been fuck ups in and out of jail their whole adult life
it just sucks i was about to surpass everyone and now im at the lowest again and theres nothing i can fucking do. i keep thinking about running and just praying for some miracle where i dont end up in prison for doing it but im too scared i really FUCKING hope i can transfer my probation that would be a nice little bandaid on the whole thing
and the reason its so bad is just because my state gives probation longer than any other state its twice as long as any other state
its pretty much set up to fail thats why they make it so long they give people probation hoping they fail. supposedly they think it reduces the crime rate giving people harsh as fuck probation sentences its really fucked i doubt it even works i think its just costing the state a shit load of money to supervise and jail everyone
ins't there anyone to tell exacty that? but I would rather say perspective than bandaid
you mean someone at the probation office to talk to about why i want to move?
for example yes
origignalalalal
i feel like they're not gonna care. oh you wanna move to the city? im a sad rural person and im miserable and dont understand the city FUCK YOU
on the flipside my probation officer is kind of hot but she is MISERABLE