/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

So, 2019 is going to be a rough year for me. How do I cope?

Coping won't help. What will help is doing your best despite the circumstances.

I'm gonna fix my wardrobe by the middle of next year. Gonna have to do my research on all sorts of shit through /fa/ (or if you guys have any other suggestions I'm up for it). Up until now I've always let my mother or sister decide my clothes and it made me look like a shmuck. Visiting Paris, and seeing how the locals actually look presentable in their casuals made me decide to set things straight.

Anyone find it cringe as fuck that the english version needs to have "hell" in it when the original japanese version is "watashi wa dare da to omou te iru?" which translates to just "who do you think i am?"

it's like the american typical stereotype teenager who needs to cuss to feel badass

cringe as fuck

>How have you improved yourself this week/month/year?
>beginning of year
>lazy fat NEET
>pain in my knees shoulders and neck because fat fuck
>can't walk or stand for too long or back starts to hurt
>fuck this
>join gym
>start lifting
>ffw to now
>knee and shoulder pain gone
>neck pain fucking murdered
>best of all
>walk for as long as I fucking want (longest was around 6hours)
>no fucking back pain anymore
>mfw
I can't describe how good it feels to no longer be in pain bros. Anyone else experience something similar?

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It's cope or kill myself.

Don't buy expensive things first. Focus on proper fit on color coordination until you know what you're doing. Take it slowly, upgrade your wardrobe one piece at a time.
Search Tanner Guzy in Youtube, it's the only acceptable fashion channel there. Stay away from Alpha M and Real Men Real Style.

I ruined 2018. Does anyone else feel like you either have to do it all the way or you're a total failure?

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Japanese is a very different language from English, it's very based on context and tone, and doesn't need to use as many cuss words as English to make a point.
The funny thing is that your post have more and heavier cusses than OP's image.

I'm going to second Tanner Guzy. His book is a breddy gud explanation of why you should put effort into how you trust. /fa/ is a good resource but be mindful of the memes.

>t. used to dress in vidya t-shirts with shorts and now dress like a small-town preacher

>Does anyone else feel like you either have to do it all the way or you're a total failure?
Not exactly, I feel like I either have to do it or just fucking kill myself. Not sure if that's the same thing or not.

>being this retarded
intonation in words is universal

Big redpill on testosterone, estrogen, men, women...

youtube.com/watch?v=xuM7ZS7nodk

Thanks guys, one question though. Since I'm not gonna go all out on expensive shit, should I first go with the more cheaper second hand/flea market clothes depending on the season and then work my way up?

what did you do to spill it?

I wouldn't buy anything off flea market, but thrifting is a good option.
Try Uniqlo, it has the best quailty/price ration imo

>try to go out to restaurant last night with a handful of coworkers including our boss (but she is a cool qt and we all like her)
>dont really want to go but figure all i ever do socially is stuff with them even though i fail at it, usually bars where i run away after a few minutes
>even though at work i'm pretty talkative and joking and funny and all that, any social activity with them i just completely shut down and sit there in silence like a fucking retard

holy shit even my boss was like "this is user in social situations, at work he isnt like this at all". why the fuck do i have to be like this. why do i have to have fucking autism. I LITERALLY SIT THERE AT THE TABLE KNOWING I'M BEING AN AUTIST, WHY AM I NOT TALKING, SAY SOMETHING, then just see nowhere to insert myself so i just sit there like the deaf mute sperglord i am. even when i make these efforts to try in the least little bit to be social because i know exposure is the only thing to do, all it does is literally make me feel worse than if i had just stayed home alone like i usually do because at least there i'm not living real-time in what a fucking autist i am.

a big reason for acting like this is because i cant really offer any stories or anything because im basically a shut-in so all i can do is make "witty" comments in response to stuff. most people would look at this and say "dude work events are just awkward don't worry about it", but this isnt like some thing where i'm mid 20s and all my coworkers are weird 50 year olds, almost everyone we work with is relatively young, like late 20s-mid 30s, people i should be getting along with well

i just want to kill myself

It took me some time but I've finally understood the female brain. I can't quite summarize it but it does actually comes down to more how you act than how you look. Looks are not nearly as important for women as it is for men, and just giving a female the understanding that you desire her can boost your attractiveness in her eyes.
Don't lose hope bros, keep learning and improving everyday

I've had a crush on a female coworker of mine for a long ass time. Our interactions are actually pretty funny, we always just give each other shit and insult each other all the time and bicker like we've been married for 20 years. I'm pretty much assured that she doesn't like me at all because I'm just the office ugly weirdo but i'm basically in love with her and yet have never seen her outside of work in the few years we've worked together because she doesn't even go to the occasional work events we do. She's even kinda mean and aloof like I am which is also why I like to give her shit

second uniqlo, good stuff.

You have to do it in a non needy way though, that's the key. A great book I can recommend to all /sig/-ers is Models by Mark Manson, it explains this really well, and changed my look on this subject almost completely.

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how do you express attraction in a way that doesn't come off as needy?

you're unironically a beta.

pick up some volunteering or leadership type activities to get more comfortable with expressing yourself in a group.

also questions and focus on getting the other person to talk.

>tfw haven't smoked in 3 days
>on complete auto pilot when i go to gas station to fill up
>buy a pack without even thinking about it
>light up cig in parking lot
>mouth filled with ashy taste
>immediately get mad
>have a gosling sperg out moment in the parking lot where I threw my cig at the ground while yelling GOD DAMMIT
>throw pack away
>throw lighter away
>pull out strip of gum and start aggressively chewing
>yell at myself in my car, "This is why you're still fat, you have no self control you fat fuck"

going to make it eventually.

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After reading Models, read this one. It's the most redpilled book about women in existence.

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lost 75lbs since march

Bullying yourself isn't beneficial.
Good job making the right choice and throwing them away though.
Are you using any aids to help you quit?

A lot of sugar free gum + cardio

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You have to express it in a direct way. Not beating around the bush, rather expressing it boldly. The way you do it has to signal that you do not care about the consequences, and wouldn't care about being rejected. This of course will make you rejected a lot of times, but you have to be happy about those rejections, they make you able to select someone who fits you from the millions of women out there. You also have to be polarizing with your actions, don't be afraid to speak your mind about stuff, someone who doesn't stand for anything can't be liked. It's easier said than done though, you might need to rewire your whole brain for this to be put into action. Also realize that this is what they mean by "just be urself brah".
These things are not only true for your interaction with women though, you should use them with everyone you meet.

your life is a sitcom sketche

Lads

finishing day 13 of nofap. I have serious blue balls every I go. I go running and work out at the gym in the morning. But the there are periods during the day where I have nothing to do and just lie on the bed. These moments are the hardest to resist and seem like an eternity.

I can strongly recommend nicotine patches if the cravings get too strong. They helped me immensely when I quit about 5 months ago.

Listen to me fagets.

I'll look into those. See if the doc will give em to me for free
i do not understand

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this is why I will never do drugs or smoke not cause its unhealthy but because when you get relaxed/happy it tells your brain that its a good habit you should follow to get those dopamine gains thus it makes a little neurological circuitry that is irremovable no matter how long you stay away from the stuff that little machinery won't go away its a permanent physical structure in your head and you will get back on the rail without you knowing it you end up smoking/snorting/injecting again.
once you learned to ride a bycicle or to swim after 40-50 years you still can ride a bycicle

that sounds like a solid advice of how to become a truly powerful man, I see a lot of people just agreeing with everyone in order to be liked and never leave an impression on anyone.
Have you put into action any of the stuff you've read on the book? Care to share some experiences of application of it? I'm sincerely curious

It made me realize that I almost never disagreed with anyone, I was avoiding conflicts, because I was always worried what someone is going think about me. It was almost like I had many different personalities, depending on who I was talking with, which in reality meant that I had none. I was afraid to create my own and stick with it all the time. This was really awkward in cases where two people I talked to met each other, and I wouldn't know how to act in front of them when they both were there.
I realized that it makes no sense to try with women before I untangle this mess, so that's what I've been working on the past few months, and it really is harder than it seems. It's easier to do it with people you don't know, because with those that you already know use are used to interact in a given way.
It also means having to cut contact with many people, because you won't be the person anymore that they got to know. But the friendships that you make while "being yourself" will be much more meaningful than the ones where you agreed with everything. It's not an easy journey and I haven't arrived at the end of it yet either, but it is absolutely necessary for becoming a man.

>blue balls

Stop using this as an excuse to relapse you weak faggot. Those urges are the sickness that you need to overcome to break your addiction to fapping once and for all. The computer is not a women, your hand is not a vagina so stop making your body believe that it is. Also all that semen is reabsorbed if you take your mind of sex/lust in your day to day life. When the urges fail to overpower you, that's when you find peace and a strong-well of mental and physical energy you didn't think you had. That's the greatest source of generating natural confidence. Celibacy and chastity was always this key to strength that modern society took away from man.

Another point to help reinforce this - How do you think monks, priests, yogis remain celibates for years on end while you can't go a month? They weren't addicted to fapping constantly in front of a computer like you are.

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not this user but I've read this book as well and it really made sense in a lot of things. Suddenly I could understand how many men I've known could get with those really hot girls despite being not fit, uneducated, unemployed etc... it was eye opening.
I am getting better at the personality thing (a few weeks ago one of my buddies mentioned half jokingly that if we were living in ancient times I'd probably be at the role of a warrior, which is an insignificant remark but tells something about an impression I've managed to leave), yet I'm still having difficulty with overcoming fear of approaching. I don't even mind being rejected, it's just that I feel so awkward of the opening and the follow up that I end up mentally bullying myself and thinking how they'll probably not be interested and I'm not good enough. This is by far the toughest part, this mental difficulty of putting myself out there.
It's odd because I feel almost flawless when dealing with guys (never realized how easily most men can be made into followers if you're assertive enough), but a one on one with women is a whole different story

I love seeing SIG where you fucking autists literally read books and write paragraphs of posts to talk about attracting women. So fucking pathetic.

I love seeing bitter fucks like you waste their time insulting people who try to improve themselves. So fucking pathetic.

>literally read books to desperately appeal to women then act like "I figured them all out, I'm an alpha"

So fucking pathetic

>where you fucking autists literally read books
lmaoooo this. so much this.
imagine LITERALLY reading books in 2k19 (yea its pretty much 2k19 now) imagine that hahaha
wanna join my fortnite clan bro? itll be lit

>read novel after novel to try to understand women

L
M
A
O

>literally shitpost on Jow Forums to flame people and act superior

So fucking pathetic

not trying to act superior but you actually think that reading books from one guy is going to make you "understand women" let me guess you listen to jordan peterson too

>trying to become better than your former self is pathetic
There is nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself, whether it's with women, career, or social life. I hope you manage to find a happier life where you wouldn't feel a need to shit on other people who wish to make themselves better

No, I don't think that, and I don't listen to Jordan Peterson. It's almost like the posts in this thread weren't all made by the same person.

I was just going to post this. /sig/ should be about self improvement and overcoming the degenerate desires that make men slaves of women in the first place.

Not reading books about how to seduce them, that's some cucked beta shit.

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exactly what i meant by my post. im all for people improving themselves, but reading literal books to try to "understand" women, holy shit imagine the amount of autism

>tfw replying to some Jow Forums nazi aspie

>overcoming the degenerate desires that make men slaves of women in the first place.
Yikes. I'm glad I don't have this pathetic outlook on life.

People exchanging books on how to seduce women don't have any right to call other people pathetic. Take this pickup artist bullshit out of /sig/.

>about attracting women
I don't care about these posts, but it's an area where they want to improve, so i don't judge.
God i hate fashy larpers just as much as i hate che shirt wearing commies

>muh nazis

And here I thought I was talking to someone intelligent.

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>overcoming the degenerate desires that make men slaves of women in the first place.
cringe and bluepilled

This book is the exact opposite of pickup artist crap though. The author stands against that stuff. The title can be deceiving, it's more about becoming a man and self improvement.

>the psuedointellectual centrist in its natural habitat
Don't you have a Joe Rogan podcast to listen to?

I asked my office crush out and didn't get a yes. I'm really in love with her, it's terrible.
She is probably using me for attention anyways.

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>JFK said Hitler was good, so it must be true
You're not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed yourself, user.

Take a look around you and notice the type of people who glorify Nazism and lither. Then take a look at yourself and realize what demographics of people these sort of admiration has been reduced to.

>get reasonably Jow Forums
>get a normie gf
>wants to call me "babe"
>constantly showing me off to her friends and family
>her parents are always trying to feed me carbs when I come over
>far less time for gym and side business because she wants to hang out all the time
>always wants to talk late into the night so my sleep schedule is shot
This is an abstact feel, bros. I finally got an amazing gf but she is goblining a lot of the things I really loved in life

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>dude they fucking READ BOOKS LMAO

why do people like you exist

Just go back to pol/r9k.
This thread is about improving yourself and giving advice to others, if you do not want to do that you can fuck right off.

>needs to read books about "how to get women" and thinks he's improving himself

And who are the people saying Hitler was bad again?

Neo nazis and white supremacists are degenerates. Hitler himself would have gassed them.

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You gotta impose bounderies bro.

If you would have read the book (this one:
) you wouldn't say retarded shit like this. The author used to be a pickup artist, but realized that it's beta and doesn't work, the book is basically him explaining what's wrong with pickup artsitry and showing that honesty is the way to go.

This book actually dedicates its 5 first chapters to telling you how a man should have values, an ability to take a position and be honest enough to not tolerate unacceptable behavior.
I don't understand why you think you have the right to judge anyone for reading books on "how to get women" if they acknowledge that they have a problem in this field. How is it not improving oneself?
Especially if you never even bothered reading the book or seeing what it's about

Given the way your post is written, I interpreted it as :

A : literally read books

and

B : write paragraphs of posts to talk about attracting women

Naturally there is going to be talk about women here. How about all of the other actual beneficial advice? How about it being an actual positive place to discuss you progress with like minded people, given most people irl just want to mock you and put you down? There's a lot of good stuff here, I did for a week and my productivity genuinely sky rocketed, I'm doing it again soon.

Yes, we are on Jow Forums. Guess what buddy, so are you, and it amazes me that a guy browsing Jow Forums can criticise and mock other people browsing Jow Forums who are actually trying to better themselves and drag themselves out of shitty situations.

Seriously, fuck you.

Yes, if you had an incorrect mindset your whole life, you do need some source to get new ideas you can try. Or do you think people who have beta ways of thinking should just stay like that?

Not the faggot you're replying to, but the danger is that people get stuck in a loop of just reading self-help shit thinking that's going to turn their life around. At some point, you have to stop reading and start taking action.

>The author used to be a pickup artist, but realized that it's beta and doesn't work, the book is basically him explaining what's wrong with pickup artsitry and showing that honesty is the way to go.

People need a book to figure that out? I guess if your mind is so baked on pickup artistry garbage it could be helpful to them.

I agree, you have to be careful with that, but I think that if you have a problem with getting women, and only want to read one book, this should be the one. It was a real eye opener for me, changed my look on the subject completely.

Wow man, it's almost like the book has more content than what he just summarized in one sentence.

You can say that about any self-help/philosophy/knowledge book though. They all are mostly corroborating ideas that are common sense in a way that make you realize how rational they are.
Just because something is logical and common sense to you, doesn't mean it is for everyone, but it should be, hence why it's in the book. If you already know it, it means you don't need to read the book.

These are you co-workers, not your friends. If I were you I would be keeping a distance. Be good at your job, don't cause trouble and you will be fine. You are there to make money and learn. You don't have to be a dancing monkey entertaining everyone. You are allowed to be quiet. There's literally nothing wrong with that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

A lot of people are assholes. If you are basically a shut-in then you already know the solution, it's to get out and start. I'm pretty much the same as you man to be honest. I have a lot of opinions on "fitting in". I changed my own narrative, I don't give a shit about fitting in with anyone anymore. I do what the fuck I want to do. If I don't like my coworkers, I don't socialise with them. I don't like my job? I find a new one. I'm all business at work. I'm friendly, polite, respectful, good at my job and I don't cause trouble. If that's not enough to satisfy them then they can go fuck themselves.

You know something like 85% of people hate Christmas work parties? Most of your coworkers probably don't like each other. You're normal for not liking going out with these people, they aren't friends you made naturally, they're coworkers. There's a big difference there. Don't tell yourself that you need to fit in and be friends with everyone and that it's your fault if you don't connect with them and they don't like you or vice versa.

I was a loner in high school. I didn't fit in with others, didn't connect with them. I used to feel like it was all my fault. Nope, it wasn't. I realise that now. I was and am an outlier when it comes to intelligence and I can't expect to fit in with people significantly different from me. I realised that when I went to university. Most of my former classmates are working manual labor jobs, working in supermarkets or fast food joints. Others are unemployed or in prison. Nothing wrong with that, but I understand why I wasn't accepted with them now.

Fair enough. /sig/ should be based staunchly on self improvement, getting attention of women is simply a byproduct of improving one's own self. In my opinion, men shouldn't even concern themselves with "how should I attract women today". Instead focus on "What can I do to make myself better and help those around me today?" Focusing on the latter will lead to a far more productive life and guess what women are attracted to? Productive men.

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is there a /sig/ discord?

Fuck dudes, I'm so depressed right now. Gonna make a blog post to help me organize my thoughts.

>me
>living at home
>drinking a lot too much
>eventually mother sees my habits, tells me she's worried and afraid
>make a promise to stop drinking until xmas
>successfully don't drink for all of December
>xmas passes, I can drink again
>go to friends house, buy a bottle of whisky
>drink half of it
>hang out for a couple more hours, drive home (was still drunk. Driving like a retard)
>next day
>playing minecraft with sister (I'm over minecraft, she isn't)
>hungover, minecraft is giving me motion sickness
>excuse myself into the shower
>throw up my breakfast into the shower, push it all down the drain
>ff to today
>mother is cleaning the house
>finds my breakfast in the drain
>"user, why are there green beans in the drain"
>"I was hungover"
>"and you drove home without sleeping over that night?"
>ohshit.jpg
>mother and father both talk to me about how much of a retard I am, sister won't even look at me
>feel like an idiot (I am)
>feel depressed
>mother literally tells me to get my shit on order
>not sure what to do to move forward

My current move is to stop drinking indefinitely. I obviously can't handle myself around alcohol so I'm cutting it out. I'm not gonna attempt to "patch things up" because there's not really a reason to - this is all on me. I'm gonna try to channel all my negative stupidity into stuff that will benefit me, probably starting with cleaning my room tomorrow (currently working).
What do you do when you're disappointed in yourself guys? I could use some suggestions.

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>gym
>Getting a first in my degree (economics)
>Got gf
>Learning languages- Portuguese and Arabic

What else should I do to improve myself /sig/ ?

Why did you drink again after going an entire month without? Were you suffering that bad?

Thanks for that. Really needed it was about to give in. Going into day 14 tomorrow. I’m finding it harder and harder though as the days go by. I keep thinking of women and sex all the time.

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Well, I wanted to. I went a whole month. It was a nice to be able to do something that I wasn't able to do, and didn't do, of my own volition.
And yes I was suffering somewhat. I hate living at home. I hate doing working in customer service. I'm bored constantly. Drinking is a fun was to pass the time and numb myself from my daily stresses.

Both great languages that will help you plenty if you travel a lot or plan to settle abroad. All I can say is add nofap and learn to meditate if you aren't already.

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>I realise that now. I was and am an outlier when it comes to intelligence
fuck off aspie

>(yea its pretty much 2k19 now)
imagine thinking this is funny and writing this

Literally my goal with slight differences. I want the offspring of my offspring to continue my will and rule the world some day, be it on the forefront or behind the scenes

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can you greentext what happened when you did

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Keep going at it bro. This sounds like one of those situations where this grows into a wonderful romance and maybe even a story to tell the children you one day make with her

Is there a 4chn approved guide to starting meditation? Where do I jump in?