What is the point in sustaining relationships with people?
I've realised that I'd have a more enjoyable time sitting at home watching documentaries/playing video games, than going to the pub with my "friends".
I feel a little like I have an obligation to them? I've known most of them for 5/6 years at this point. Should I cut most of them off? A lot of them just drink and smoke all of the time and aren't fun people.
Should I cut them away even though I've known them for all this time?
Should I hang out with people even though I'd enjoy myself more on my own?
There's also another group of people who I enjoy spending time more with but they're also severe alcoholics.
Everyone is in England man lol. I'm 19.
In all honesty I don't think most of them are 'going' places, I think they'll all get a nice job or whatever but I don't think any of them will 'kill' life if you know what I mean.
Should I cut them all off and find some other people who want to kill life?
Carson Jackson
There's little to no point for us. If you don't enjoy spending time with them then don't. I personally know few people I would consider friends. There is no point in "having" 100+ friends.
Angel Bailey
I wouldn't recommend it. I thought the same as you, that I'd be happier just consuming media all day than socializing. Now as I get older I realize how alone I am and how much I've fucked myself because it gets harder and harder to make close friends the older you get.
I don't have any friend and I'm fine with that. Actually my life greatly improved when I accepted that having friends isn't mandatory to be happy.
Jayden Morgan
Get exactly what you mean.
Had similar situation. I'm part of a big lads groups and honestly all they want to do it go to the pub and watch football and I've realised I don't actually like vast majority of them.
Don't burn bridges, but surely some have some redeeming characteristics?
Eg I won't go drinking with any of my mates as group but still talk to my gym bro and lift with him whenever I can who's part of the crew. Also love playing vidya with another
Levi Smith
Who you are at 19 in 150% of cases isn't who you are at 25 if you know what I mean. As far as "killing life" is concerned, yeah, I pretty much want to kill life on a daily basis, but I have a severe "survival instinct" disability that prevents me from accomplishing my goal. So basically, I lift so I can kill myself.
Jokes aside, before employing drastic measures, talk with your friends. Give them a chance. If they are beyond help or you are so off the edge you can't even stand them anymore, cut them out of your life.
Matthew Murphy
Realize that the fact that you don't derive great enjoyment from social interaction won't mean that you wouldn't eventually suffer from its absence. Social isolation is to the mind what sedentary life is to the body. Exercise probably won't cure your heart disease if you have one, but lack of exercise might give you one if you don't have it. Your body is meant to be exercised and if you neglect this it's likely to degrade. Likewise avoiding relationships is you using your mind in a way that it was never meant for. It's likely to lead to some form of mental degradation over the course of several years, most commonly depression.
Lucas Ross
Exactly this, I've alienated everybody and it is hell.
Luke Gray
Want an honest opinion? Fuck friends
Landon Wilson
Keep them, even if you just somewhat use them for find a relationship. Once you isolate yourself and the loneliness sets in after a couple of years, you will be wishing you never dropped them.
Jackson Harris
I dunno, maybe you need to find new friends? People with whom you have common interests.
Jordan Bell
you'll either come full circle and learn from your mistake or begin a deep downward spiral
Thomas Davis
What do you mean? What mistake?
Zachary Richardson
This, once you get into your mid to late 20s and you see everyone settling down, and you have no life you will hate it.
You will start to find it difficult to interact with people as you somewhat lose the ability, same with trying to find a gf, with no social life it makes it incredibly difficult to find someone half decent. At the very least if you want new friends make sure you get new friends first and make sure they are going to stick long term. Your current friends will eventually grow away from you somewhat but having just a small core to turn to helps immensely.
Angel Taylor
ive done this personally (cut off all my fake friends and gone full iso) and eventually you begin to crave human contact, if you're truthful to yourself and learn from your mistake you'll probably become a more friendly person but if you go the other way you'll just end up autistic even more
Jacob Bennett
It's more that I don't think I want people like that in my life in 5 years time, or that's not what my 'dream social circle' is if that makes any sense.
Josiah Martinez
no such thing as a dream social circle, you gotta treat people how you wanna be treated, look at people like they have all the potential in the world and you'll understand
Jayden Butler
I mean I do. I don't treat them like they're any better or worse than me, I try my best to treat everyone with respect and how I'd like to be treated.
Rather than burning bridges, I'd probably just disassociate myself from them, so when I come back from Uni I wouldn't message them to meet up or whatever.
I have a lot of crazy plans for the future and have set my dreams and goals very high, I don't know anyone else who is doing the same thing though.
They just seem to have small aspirations I suppose.
Juan Nelson
Read Tribe by Sebastian Junger and about Thereau's cabin
You need interpersonal relationships to be happy.
Owen Rodriguez
It depends on everyone OP. Personally, I don't think of women as friends. For bro's, I have had different groups, but you change friends when you change life stages. Don't sweat it. I am 27, and I feel like I only need that one girlfriend/wife to be together with. Friends aren't an enjoyment, they are a chore in my eyes. But, do get something that gives you company, it being either gf/wife or a pet. I have a dog and I don't feel lonely at all. You will meet people for social interactions at work anyways. My 2 cents
Kayden White
I don't maintain contact with my friends, I can go months/years without talking to them. I'll hang out if they contact me, but I never contact them. I don't know why, it's not like they're bad people or have different hobbies, I just don't feel any need to be with them. I also work a job with almost no other humans, and just moved to live alone in a house in the mountains, so I'm definitely moving towards the hermit life. I'm definitely lonely in terms of a love life, but if I just ignore it for long enough eventually those feeling will die and disappear into a grave with my body
Jackson Gray
>because it gets harder and harder to make close friends the older you get. Yep. I moved to another country when I was 24. Kept moving since then and just landed in a brand new place again, when I'm almost 30. I meet and talk to a lot of people, no problem with that, but I'm already struggling to move these kinds of relationships forward to an actual friendship. All people who I befriended since then are living far away from me.
how do i make friends as a 20 year old Jow Forumsack who ghosted everyone i knew straight out of high school? it feels like an eternity since i last spoke to someone that wasn't my boss
Liam Lewis
Holy shit you just described my life
Jace Torres
Ask some people you know from your job if they want to go to the pub?
Brayden Watson
i only work with one 65 year old man
Gavin Cox
>Should I cut most of them off? A lot of them just drink and smoke all of the time and aren't fun people. In a similar boat, OP. You've just got to come to terms that you're motivated by different interests and therefore need to find different friends who share the same interests as you do. I still haven't figured out how to find likeminded friends, though.
Hunter Howard
ITT: edgy teenage faggots
sage
Luis Kelly
Fellow schizoid here. People can do things for you like get you easier jobs that pay more money, help you move, give you blowjobs, etc.
