>be me
>lifting regularly on a set program (currently ppl, started with ss) for close to a year and a half now.
>Haven't fapped in close to a year.
>Go for walks in nature daily.
>Watch diet, drink plenty of water.
>Do my best to keep up relationships with my friends and family.
>Have multiple hobbies outside working out, I draw and do wood carving.
>Studying engineering in college getting good grades.
>Little financial issues.
So why do I feel so depressed and angry. Most nights I can barely fall asleep, I just lie there, in a state of constant irritation, my head throbbing. I feel like I am empty and my existence is meaningless. I don't really want to die, but I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. At this point, lifting is the only time I actually feel happy, but the low returns the moment I get home from the gym. I don't think anyone around me suspects I am this way, but I need help. Last night especially, laying in my bed, I felt like I was in hell. My mouth felt dry, despite having just had water, my stomach felt heavy and bloated, and my body could not decide whether sweating and shivering, unable to decide whether I was cold or hot. Most food has lost its taste, and I find it harder and harder to concentrate on anything. I haven't cried in years, and feel the constant urge to let tears roll down my face, but I don't know why I would cry, and tears just don't come. Help me fit. This has been going on for a bit less than a year, and getting worse. How do I get back to normal. I just want to feel a sense of normalcy in my life.
Depression/anxiety
Hey man, making it isnt a day or a situation- its a process and road to bettering yourself. It sounds like youre on a right track in life with good grades, diet, and finances, but if youre this crippled by your own self-doubt and feelings i suggest seeing a psychiatrist (through your schools health services or otherwise). It isnt normal to be so low like you described.
Youll make it brah, we're all here for you :)
You're doing better than most, by a long shot. Appreciate that much, and if you still can't maybe pound one out with nothing but your imagination. It sounds like you've got a chemical imbalance and a release would do you well.
user considering your life seems very on track, you sound like you have clinical depression. I’d suggest going to see a therapist or talk to a family member about getting help
for what its worth getting on meds made a noticeable difference for me with little to no negative effects. saying this as someone who was extremely skeptical of the "chemical imbalance" meme beforehand. everybody is different but it may be worth looking into
Smoke some weed boss, its toothpaste for your soul
You're apparently sober enough to grasp the true tragic nature of reality.
Here's a fable from Tolstoy
Perhaps you should see a doctor. You might just have depression mate.
Fuck off, everyone I know who smokes weed has either stopped because it's slowing down their lives or does it every day and is retarded. Pot smokers are retarded
You need to start seeing a psychiatrist or counselor. I dealt with depression for 10 years and it honestly never got better, but got worse instead. Followed all the advice and couldn't do it on my own. Luckily was disciplined enough to not let other aspects of my life to go to shit.
Best fucking decision I've made in my life was seeking counseling.
you need jesus christ in your life. if you saw my living conditions you would be shocked, but i'm not depressed at all. i don't even have a single friend, but you need to realize that none of that stuff matters. you give your life to the boss and you have a reason to live again
I have been taking Wellbutrin 150mg for 3 weeks now and feel nothing. Is it not work, lads?
OP here, thanks for the responses. I still haven't told any family or friends about my situation. I have always been the largely unemotional, calculated guy who is stable in the face of anything. This however makes my arms shake as I write about it. I am scared of telling it to anyone because it seems petty, as I don't really have a very problematic life. Maybe this is why I feel so alone? I don't feel like there is anyone to talk to? But then I really don't see how they can help with this. I figured atleast here I am anonymous and have no reputation, and I know plenty of other anons have suffered from depression and anxiety and might have some tips.
Yeah, I know death is inevitable. I'm 19 and a half, though. What should I do kill myself?
Don't drugs usually make this worse? I know they give pleasure in the short term, but I don't really want pleasure, I want to be happy or atleast get back to normal.
I wish I could tell you things will eventually get better but you know that's probably not gonna happen. I'm not gonna lie to you. You have every reason to end it all.
But for me, I think I'll wait around a little longer. The pharmaceutical industry is going through a massive revolution as we speak. New drugs are being created every day to combat many illnesses, physical and mental.
I work in the healthcare field. Nothing important mind you but I do hear whispers. Let me tell you, Hep and HIV will without a shadow of a doubt be curable within 8-10yrs. Depression is right around the corner too. Just give us a little longer friend.
B&R
Thanks, I'll try to find a psychiatrist but money goes to education now so don't know what I'll be able to afford, and am worried they'll just try to shill some medicine to me.
I am religious user. I do kind of struggle between Calvinism and Catholicism, but I lean towards Calvinism a little more. I can not find any Biblical justification for actions taken by men (sacraments) nor can I justify the supposed Divinity of Marry. Anyways, I'm not here to talk about theology, that's what 8ch's /christian/ is for. My point is I know one day I will be in heaven, but that still some time away (19 now).
Is it expensive? Did it work for you? I might give it a try after doing some research on it.
try smoking weed.
I have no plans for dying now, user. I just want to get my mind back to normalcy. Suicide is not at all an option. I want to be happy, not dead.
not being mean or anything but you need to get it together. It's depression. like, holy shit just do what's required of you and forge on.
Do you completely stop doing anything when you have an injury or a cold? This is the same. This is a cold of your soul, that will never go away. This is your new life.
Do you flounder and perish, or do you adapt and thrive?
Happiness is a false and meaningless human construct anyway, the quicker you abandon your dreams of "happiness" the sooner you'll be able to get on with your life and achieve something, and experience the REAL driving factor of life being success.
It is short lived and fleeting, but it is the closest thing you're ever gonna feel to joy again.
Unless you start smoking weed like said.
did you used to abuse stimulants?
No. Only porn and masturbation. But I ended those early last year, shortly after these fellings started to settle in.
fucking trolls on Jow Forums have these kids so messed up lol
bro you feel like shit because you arnt getting laid and you arnt jerking off. the whole anti masturbation shit is just religious traditions making people want to fuck, even chimps jerk off
being an uptight little tightass conservative kid is just as fucking as those trans sjw losers. smoke some weed, have a jerk, eat good, lift heavy, work hard, and drink once a month, and sack up kiddo
Your whole life will be full of suffering, and that is true for everyone. You can't minimize your suffering however, you can find/do things which can sometimes make you happy and make you forget about the suffering for a while. I can fully relate to you man, for real. Accept that you're never going be permanently "normal" or "happy" it's just the good times that sometimes come along that make life what it is.
One thing which I feel is the most important is discipline. Cultivate it, and you'll be grateful for the rest of your life. Passion/motivation can only get you so far.
You need to get laid, buy a hooker if you are an autist.
This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. How the fuck are you in the health care field? you're a moron.
ITT people who don't have the first clue about mental illness.
It's 2019 lads. Go read some books.
what is a strawman?