What’s the safest way to roid/cheat as a female?

>doing roids without putting in effort
fastest way to give yourself a balloon gut

Yup this will get you a lot of attention but its not good for health

>26
>I still want to have kids
tiktok tiktok roastie

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>female?
>I literally just don’t want to put much effort
As always

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>26
>doesn't already have kids
You dun goofed, enjoy your retard kids

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just eat less it doesn't require any effort, females just have to be skinny to look good.

I'm no expert in female fertility. Maybe expect some clitoral enlargement? Because of 40-year-old cat ladies, I know that fertilization technology has immensely improved over the past decades.

Do females have to take a PCT? Something like clomiphene?

>I’m 26... would it fuck me up?
Think about this for a moment
For most health guidelines, females should have kids before 30s, if she wants to get all the benefits female get from pregnancy (lower risk of many cancers, lower risks of ovarian disturbances etc)

You're already 26 and presumably have 0 kids
And still you want to roids, which should impair your fertility for 2y at the very least

Shut up!!! Women still have children till 39

I want muscles

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There was a 40 something year old woman who tried to get herself preggers with her eggs that she stored when she was in her late twenties.

Not a single one took.
And that bitch was well off and could afford the treatments and the like.

>Women still have children till 39
Yeah and most of them turn out literally retarded. Have you even seen how the odds of you having a downie kid increase with your age? And anyway you obviously aren't in a situation where you would be about to have kids, and because you think you have time, you'll waste it even more. If you were married and trying for children as we were speaking then you MIGHT not be too late, but even then you better hurry. And you clearly don't have good prospects on that front so enjoy being childless and miserable.

Dont all insta fitness thots use var and angle fraud/photoshop?

Yeah maybe some women are just too far gone. Years of taking cocks, STDs --> antibiotics (if possible), drinking, and treating themselves like shit and thinking that those frozen eggs will save them when they are ready.

OP, the risks of down syndrome are very elevated after 35ish but still extremely low. You will have a harder time getting pregnant and I'm unsure of how long after taking steroids that it's healthy for a woman to have a child.

Men can be on testosterone and take HCG and still have children, but those are things that are found naturally in men. Your situation would be analogous to a man who is transitioning but still wants to father children - it would be fucking hard if at all possible.

Anavar or masteron. The first is a mild oral steroid with negligible androgenic (masculinizing) effects. The later is an injectable steroid developed especially for female athletes.

Trannies.
I knew it.

its basically impossible unfortunately, your delts will explode even if you sit on your ass all cycle

>I still want to have kids, I’m 26.

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eat less, use a lot of makeup and pushup bras

Unless you're starting as overweight, all you need to do is eat fairly clean and train like 3 times a week with some effort.

My gf started training last year after just doing yoga, in months her abs and butt were better from doing some random workout I gave her. She looked fantastic quickly. She didnt train that hard.

>I want muscles
no you don't

In all seriousness take clenbutrol Victoria Beckham amongst a bunch of other female celebrities take it

best advice on Jow Forums, i recommend doing it on your neck though!

routine? i wanna get my gf in shape

hahahahaha

STOP BEING A WEAK BITCH.

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Hey actual doctor here, i just want you to know that each year after 22 the chance of birth complications and child disabilities increases by exactly 5.25%. This is a compounded percentage so 1.0525^4 (since you're 4 years past prime 22) you currently have a 22.71% chance of further birth complications past baseline. When you are 30 you will have a 50.59% higher chance of birth complications. At 35 it will be 94.48% higher chance. At 40 it is 151.18% higher chance.

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>Hey actual autist here, let me paste some made up statistics for you.

Denial wont change reality honey, i'm not making this personal at all i'm just warning you since many people seem to be unaware. Honestly they teach this stuff in basic biology class, the main cause of complications is due to flaws in the mitosis process due to aged eggs.

As a femanon you can pretty much blast and cruise anavar without needing PCT. If you want better results just pin like everybody else and make sure you don't stack with orals to prevent going manmode and keep your liver healthy. Expect some unwanted hair growth, clit enlargement and a deeper voice, though if you dose normally you shouldn't really have to worry about that if it even happens at all.

I remember people shilling this picture when they were still together, women really are a meme

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why would you do that

What purpose is there ever in women taking roids? 99% of guys want pic related, maybe with a little big wider hips but that's genetic and you can't change that.

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>i want muscles
>roids
>not much effort
Literally the dumbest thing ever read. You can't be huge without effort even while roidind, instead you can get huge with effort without roids, taking useless risks (pic related is achievable natty for a female).
Now gimme the name of the girl in OP pic

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>those arms
>those quads
>natty
dyels get OUT

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>what is relative risk

That form is achievable natty for women, delusional loser

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Maybe women want to what they want and they don’t care about what guys really think..?

Drug test or gtfo, I hope thotaudit catches up to roiding skanks
That anterior pelvic tilt and body is nasty

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Lets be realistic here, men and women workout to be attractive to other people. Anyone who disagrees is in denial.

Hey actual CEO of American Pregnancy Association here, I just wanted to say that threaded is a retard and that the actual risk is no where near that high according to my lifespan textbook.

I'd like to see a study on that. Got in a fight with an ex about how she wanted to wait till she was like 30 something to have kids. I couldn't find a good source

What purpose is there ever in men taking roids? 99% of girls want pic related, maybe with a little bit wider shoulders but that's genetic and you can't change that.

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Take an AI like arimidex, clenbuterol for fat loss, and anavar give up. Also low dose testosterone replacement isn't a bad way to go. It's androgenic but not in low doses. It will also make you feel great.

a twink? He'd reject you for your dad

>a little bit wider shoulders
>it's genetic and you can't change that
You literally can working out

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My broscience theory is that a woman can only safely get unusually muscular with the standard recipe of
> perfect sleep, perfect diet, weight training
But they also need to do
> 'sprint' based interval workout with lots of concentric loading (sprint cycling, rowing, prowler pushing).
...and even then most of the muscle will go to their legs and core.

Only women in the top 1% of bioavailable test can get reasonably big upper body muscles, but they probably have issues with fertility.

I'm pretty sure his post was just BS but these are the real raw statstics. According to wikipedia which sited this scientific journal (journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1136/jms.9.1.2)

20, 1/1441 = 0.0693%
25, 1/1383 = 0.0723%
30, 1/959 = 0.104%
35, 1/338 = 0.296%
40, 1/84 = 1.19%
45, 1/32 = 3.125%

Since these are the raw statistics they mean 1/1441 children born to a 20 year old mother will have a birth defect (in this specific case down syndrome).
Now the real argument here is relative statstics and what the increase is in reference to age.
Take 20 years as a baseline and check the percentage increase from 20 to 25.

((0.0723-0.0693)/0.0693)*100 = 4.32% increase risk from 20 to 25

now do it for all the other ages from the 20 baseline

((0.104-0.0693)/0.0693)*100 = 50.07% increase risk from 20 to 30
((0.296-0.0693)/0.0693)*100 = 327.12% increase risk from 20 to 35
((1.19-0.0693)/0.0693)*100 = 1617.17% increase risk from 20 to 40
((3.125-0.0693)/0.0693*100 = 4409.38% increase risk from 20 to 45

So in reality the true statstics are actually much worse than his bs statstics.

Damn that's some crazy shit

>sample size

Yes? The sample size was approximately 6,008,450 births as registered between the years of 1989 and 1998. Study took place in the UK. You should really read the article before posting.

meanwhile women are wasting their time on unfulfilling careers for the most part. Christ what a nightmare.

Lmao at wanting to find any way possible to just coast through life the easiest possible route. Anavar is your best bet, mildly anabolic but relatively safe for a female so long as you dose and cycle properly. You still need to at least lift 2 times a week, but since you’re a woman any anabolic substance will have a huge effect. Also marry someone rich so you don’t have to put in effort with working for your money since you’re such a vapid cunt haha

>marry someone rich
mate rich men can have any gold digger 18 year old, why would they settle for a used up roided 26 year old past her prime with insecurities?

thanks for posting

im retarded but what kind of problems can occur for older men when it comes to having kids

i started at age 16 and it worked, idk for people over 25 tho...

eating disorder and good fat deposits so you can have that cocaine-chic look and still have a semblance of ass and tits

It's different for men due to a number of reasons. Firstly women are born with all their eggs. They have a limited amount which is why they hit menopause when they run out of eggs. This means that a woman that gives birth at 40 has given birth to a child produced from a 40 year old egg. Just like the body eggs deteriorate over time and the DNA may be corrupted. For men they constantly produce new sperm for their entire lives. Sperm only lasts about 74 days in the testicles so this creates a very short window for the gamete cell to deteriorate. The woman also plays a much larger role in the birthing process as she is the one who supplies all the nutrients to the growing fetus while the man only really contributes half the DNA required to make a zygote (a cell that self multiplies).

Overall the risk is slighter higher for older men to provide flawed sperm but it's nowhere near the factor that women age plays. Male issues usually fall into the category of infertility as many older men have erectile dysfunction or insufficient sperm count to due low levels of testosterone.

wasn't aware women don't actually produce eggs since birth

wtf

Paternal age effect. Significantly higher incidences of complex disorders due to de novo mutation during spermatogenesis.

>This means that a woman that gives birth at 40 has given birth to a child produced from a 40 year old egg

what the fuck? that sounds scary.

Do they not teach biology in your countries education system?

they probably did but i dont think i wouldve gave a fuck at a young age

his shoulders don't get wider, his belly stopped drooping over his hips, that's the difference.
you were still growing at 16, retard.

Based scienceposter.

Yea that's why egg donations pay so much relative to sperm donations. Women can't just produce more eggs like men can sperm.

>not wanting to be big
weak

If this was true, powerlifters wouldn’t exist.

>safest way to roid/cheat as a female
>don’t want to get huge
Then why do you ask? Just be another gym thot that never go outside the comfort zone.

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>the risk is slighter higher for older men to provide flawed sperm but it's nowhere near the factor

A lot of old dudes are gonna have tard babies because they listened to this pile of denial. As you get older, your sperm quality drops. This is a fact.

how is he a twink? he's like 6'3.

he would mog 95% of this board, most people here are 5'10 and shorter gymcels.

Toasty

Yeah and baseline isn't that bad. Until your mid thirties the risk for aneuploidies isn't horrendous

Not anavar but a lot of people on Jow Forums can actually fuck you up

>mfw my oneitis is 26 yet I wanna have a ton of kids with her
>mfw I might be replying to her

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Another one for my collection

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Nabbed a high school sweetheart and didn't put her on a leash. Must be haunting.

This fact right here folks is why male-female sociosexual dynamics work the way they do, females are the sexual selectors because eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap.

>Roasties are not being fed to bears yet
I will personally slaughter every single one of YOU DISGUSTING FUCKING WHORES. I WILL rip YOUR UTERUS out WITH A FUCKING HOT KNIFE and feed it TO FUCKING DOGS you stuck up GROSS and AWFUL bitch!

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shut up faggot, roids are literally a magic pill/injection

There's a study that showed greater LBM gains in untrained individuals taking moderate doses of testosterone vs trained individuals taking no testosterone? Imagine the difference it would be between an untrained person taking high doses.

Your average carpenter works harder in their day than your average gym faggot. I love going to the gym but don't mistake it for being hard work.

should be noted that age of the mother is MUCH more of a factor

"significantly higher incidences" ... what does that mean? An increase from 0.01/100 at age 25 to 0.04/100 at age 65 is a 400% increase but it still is paltry in comparison to a woman, who literally can't have kids at 65.

I made up those numbers, but you can't just throw around relative terms because you like the narrative.