Jow Forums Opening a Gym

>I'd have a no niggers/women/faggots policy, and I'd just use my infinite funds to continuously pay off the "civil rights violation" fines
So much this.

I'd want an entire strip mall.
>Restaurant, bar with pool, darts, card games, pinball...
>Coffee shop with library/book store
>Outdoor/extreme sports store, gun/archery range
>Pool, sauna, masseuse
>"Health food" supplement store, farmer's market
>Hardware store
>Electronics shop
>Tailor, cobbler
>Barber

Basically a man mecca.

Caffeine shots before workout
Whey protein bar after workout

so a door handle at like 6 feet on the door

>racks
>bench
>barbells
>free thot sniffs for vip members

Realistically to stay in business you need some dumb stuff for thots to do but line a wall with power racks and give away free coffee at the front and you're golden. Some boxing classes in the back room would be great.

Pure dungeon strength gym with friendly, encouraging staff

>implying it doesn't fail

In all seriousness...

I don't know what they were called, but Germany used to have combo gymnasiums/beerhalls (pre-war era). I always thought this sounded like the epitome of comfy fitness. Lift some massive, spherical weights, row on an old-school rowing machine, do vigorous calisthenics, then wrap it all up with a pint of golden ale and a bratwurst with the lads. Perfect Saturday imo

Attached: download.jpg (550x354, 61K)

Tons of Eleiko and Rogue equipment. Competitions plates for PL, WL, platforms for lifting, bodybuilding machines etc.....

>Manlet pit out the front outside the gym
>Endless supply of barbels, benches, free weights
>no cardio or machines. Instead create a large sand dune to run up and down for leg gains
>pool for swimming gains and under water weight room with oxygen tanks
>rocking climbing wall with no harnesses
>only straight men would be allowed, preferably not christian and white
>Onion/garlic stand
>in the change rooms men must not be self conscious about their willies and must walk around naked before getting changed (no homo)
>Large marble statues of Jow Forums inspiration people including but not limited to scoobs, zyzz, rich and bloat max
>phone ban in the weight room
>all staff are actually Jow Forums and are bros
>if your diet slips you may loose your gym membership
Anything else?

I want this so fucking bad

are you retarded?
have you ever gotten anything off a high shelf?

jesus christ my sides

Attached: 1517433444405.jpg (540x534, 67K)

>no speakers/radio
>would rather listen go grown men groan in his men only gym instead of hype music

You might need to reconsider that "no faggots" policy, gay fella.

>qt 3.14 receptionist
>1 locker
>regular gym equipment just enough for 1 person
>only I'm allowed in

>no cardio equipment
>catering to obese bloatmaxxers
>complains about gyms catering the lowest common denominator

Who are you quoting? the reason for not having music is because nobody likes listening to the basic bitch top 40 bullshit that blasts on every commercial gym's speakers. Literally everyone who goes to the gym has their phone and headphones. Having speakers blasting is redundant.

Pay someone else to do it.

I've posted this before, but
>gym focused on learning to fight
>three floors, three kinds of fighting
>you pay for a subscription to whichever you want and have access to all of that equipment as well as the weights

Ground floor:
>martial arts floor
>keep all weight equipment stored along the walls of the matts/rings
>center of floor has a boxing ring, an MMA cage, and a large square tatami
>punching bags, speed bags mixed in among the weights
>jump ropes in all sizes, headgear, gloves, pads, gi, cloth wraps and a fuckload of medical tape
>I'd teach boxing and wrestling, I'd hire a guy for goju ryu krotty, jiujitsu, wrestling, and muay thai

Basement:
>shooting floor
>essentially a big laser tag arena with a shooting range to the side
>the walls/pillars/cover would be removable and adjustable as needed
>hire ex-military instructor to teach people tactical drills
>subscription comes with 20 rounds a day for a type of gun of your choice (scoped rifles, automatic rifles, pistols, and shotguns), 60 if you choose pistols
>obviously you would have to pass a background check to use this subscription

Top floor:
>Melee weapon/HEMA floor
>have a handful of instructors, one or two for modern melee weapons and a few for historical styles
>modern guy teaches baton, bat, knife, and staff use
>have historical guys to teach swords, axes, staff, spears, fencing, knives, shields, etc.
>have weighted foam weapons, don't wanna get any fuckin lawsuits because Dennis thought it would be based and redpilled to spar with blunted metal swords and no helmet

I'd also have a supplement and tea bar, a few massage therapists, and a soundproof room for meditation to make up the lobby

You don't need a gym for cardio, retard.

I like this one

I would create a weeb themed gym and name it Gensokyo.
Since funding is a joke I would try to set up a massive system of projectors, speakers, and cameras so I could run multiple holograms of vocaloids and other figures from vidya and animu/mangos that you can interact with.
Want Miku to cheer for you as you attempt a bench PR?
You got it.
Want to do barbell hip thrusts with Astolfo?
Yeah I bet you would you faggot.
Want to warm up and stretch with the members of Muse?
They're there.
The place would have to be xboxhueg so as far as equipment is concerned it should have at least the same amount of equipment as Bradley Martin's gym.
Larry Wheels can come too.

Attached: __cirno_touhou_drawn_by_osashin_osada__f1fd37bc63fdf29be683a5a02ee7aa23.png (780x1200, 1.13M)

Try seven and a half feet.
I'm 6'2" and can reach things that are 8' feet high.

It's name shall be 'Thrudheim', after Thor's domain. Literally translates into 'World of Strength'
>tfw there's an astral plane full of buck vikings lifting and fighting giants and stealing their women all day every day

Attached: verynice.jpg (570x570, 21K)