Well Jow Forums
I nutted raw inside a 36 year old gym cougar thot 2 weeks ago. I’m 22 years old, and she is telling me that she’s preggo.
If I flee the country and move to England, does my gym membership to anytime fitness carry over?
Also do I have to pay child support while seeking asylum and refugee status in the UK?
>t. American
Can't show pregnancy in two weeks so this isn't fitness and also is stupid.
Kek
>muh wall
No matter what no matter how fat and ugly a woman gets disgusting cunts like OP will still fuck them on call and play the mental gymnastics game in their mind by referring to them as a cougar
Get on the plane. Everyone will clap once you land into the UK which will fit in nicely into this story
Kek. Just act as if you died in a freak gym related accident.
Youre a fucking autist do you not know how to pull out or do you never fuck girls ???
I hope this is true.
She said she pissed on the test thing and it had double lines and she’s preggo.
I hope to god this user is right
BUT was she HIGH TEST?
Babynames.com
Pick something from her generation that'd be cooler
Welp... all glimmers of hope are lost.
I’m coming to the UK to lift with you guys on some kind of job visa or something
Yeh anytime fitness key is worldwide access
LMAO remember when i thought i nutted inside a girl, couldn't sleep, already planned to leave the country and delete everything, new number, new socialmedia new everything
fucking kek, she wasn't preggo after all
maybe the baby is someone else's.
First world countries are sort of in agreement on child support laws, so you cant actually escape to another first world country because they'll allow your home country to forcibly repatriate and try you for avoiding child support. You'll end up serving jail time over that. You'd have to actually escape to some third world country and go off the grid. Its almost better to just stay home and accept getting JUSTED, honestly.
If you're gonna go blowing loads into girls raw, you can't do it in the first world unless you have a means of concealing your identity, like a fake mustache or pseudonym. But given some retard in your family has probably done 23andMe, odds are that's not going to be a viable option for covering your ass for much longer. Times are changing and there's only going to be more and more technology and civilization.
She was.. i just took care of it for you.
How did you get with the gym cougar?
Elaborate.
There's an easier way. Look up Jow Forums's recipe for abortion tea.
If she doesn't know your last name, then bolt to somewhere else decently far away and delete social media. This dumb bitch will never find you.
Bullshit, regular pregnancy test work from 10th day
Blood tests even earlier
It is totally possible
She was the stripper to our freshman college dorm party 3-4 years back.
She came in and just took her clothes off and did the robot dance naked for like 30 minutes but we were all too drunk to know it was weird.
I started going to the gym at night, off campus, and she is always there walking on the treadmill for hours. Like clock work, Monday through Friday, she’s there when I walk in and stays there when I walk out.
Last month I saw a flyer that said not to open the locked doors for her in the gym (we have a self scanner, so no receptionist. The door unlocks when u scan ur gym tag)
It was a flyer that showed her pic from the security cameras and didn’t say anything else besides that she wasn’t a member and it’s a liability thing -
Anyways a few months pass and I don’t see her, until she taps the window when I’m working out, and starts dancing outside.
I ignore it and continue my workout. Then i feel rapping on my shoulder and she somehow got into the locked gym and said she remembered me.
To keep a long story short I ended up fucking her in the private tanning bed rooms and we exchanged numbers.
She doesn’t know me name.
Few weeks *
aaaannnnd this is why I'm going to get a vasectomy
godspeed OP, at least you can console yourself in the fact that you're very fertile and you contributed to the continuation of this absolutely despicable and revolting overpopulated species reaching nearly 10 billion people by 2050, I'm sure Jow Forums would love you for being "alpha"
your only hope is to tell her to take the plan B pill asap and abort the baby because that wasn't supposed to happen, then delete and block her number and all social media and as many traces of you on the internet you can, change your name and either move very far away or move to another country
36 year old women don't get pregnant that easily, but go to England anyway
Some other guy got her pregnant and fucked of when she told him so she fucked you and its trying to palm it off as yours
Pic related.
Anyways... If I crush a few Plan B’s and put them into a coconut water, would it work?
Raze your damn kids
If it was just casual sex, why would she take a pregnancy test so quickly. Either she wanted to get pregnant, she is lying about being pregnant or she was already pregnant when she fucked you and wants you to be the daddy
this granny def isn't fertile
She looks like a 40 yo meth head who has 2 kids and monopolar depression
Yeah, plan b works after 1 month bro
he's trying
>36
You can also just have self control and awareness of your situations so you never get fucked.
TOPKEK she looks like she's a 50 year old drug addict
Yes, but she can sue you for misscarrige if you finds out its you, and she Will probably do that as well and can sue you for A LOT of money
Fun fact from sweden
If you say you Will give her 5millions for abort and she does it you dont have to pay up, since it seen as a sum that was never reasonable if you have a normal income
Is this plan viable?
>Disconnect wireless provider service for phone, get new one
>stop going to gym
>make it 4 more months until graduation
>delete all social media tomorrow
>plan to submit job applications out of state and move
How would she track me? If she’s too dumb to ask ATT for my info, she couldn’t find me right?
Could Anytime Fitness release my name to some stripper that’s not even a member there?
>burns kids to the ground
Honestly I would worry more about STDs
The absolute state of this board.
>You can also just have self control and awareness of your situations so you never get fucked.
this doesn't work as smoothly and comfortably as being immune to getting women pregnant and being able to fuck raw freely also taking prep will make you immune to HIV so as long as you take a moment to stop sniff and look you can essentially just run around and dick whoever the fuck you please
trips checked
also, you probably have aids now
so check yourself
Drop out of school immediately and move.
How the FUCK is this thing 36
Are all American women this ugly?
yes
DENY DENY DENY
Its what a life of constant partying and being in the sun a lot does to you.
This was my nightmare. Nutted in my 30 year old apartment manager when I was 21 and got a text a month later that she was pregnant. Told her if she didn’t abort or adopt that she’d be going it alone.
That was 5 years ago. My child support order got cancelled for technical reasons involving custody, since she’s an addict who can’t keep her shit straight. Haven’t seen my daughter in a year and a half and I don’t pay anything.
could you have made anymore of a stupid decision?
holy shit please kick her in the stomach as hard as you can so you two retards don’t reproduce
damn
lucky
Well arnt you a top guy.
He who denied it, supplied it.
Nah, they're all 10/10s.
Yes, everything American needs to be taken down two pegs for normal people standards.
If I convince her to do meth and drugs my child support can be nullified?
I can probably get her to do drugs, I know who sells them. I’ll even buy them for her.
Is the next step just planting the drugs in her apartment and calling the cops for a wellbeing check or something?
How ?!
It's highly unreliable though. The hormones the pisstest measures could be high for some other reason. First somewhat sure sign is absence of period.
Trannies can't get pregnant so you're okay, OP.
Might wanna check yourself for HIV though.
Just what is it about women WANTING children so bad that they even are willing to do it alone?
Having children is something you should strive to have with your lifepartner for the reason of wanting to see what you 2 created out of your love for eachouter...
I just dont understand the reason... is it selfish and they want something to fill their boring life with?
hey man he warned her lmao
Based. Literally my dream
>She doesn’t know me name.
Arr, but does the wench know your ship?
I hope everyone in this thread does in a fire
none of you goddamn degenerates deserve this first world country acting like this
I’m not bragging. I have to keep the situation a secret just to be able to date anyone, and a new order could be drummed up at the drop of a hat, which is why I’ve gone completely dark. If I let sleeping dogs lie, momtits might think she has a shot at keeping custody as long as I’m out of the picture.
That kid’s going to grow up ruined no matter what I do, anyway.
>like a fake mustache
god i fucking lost it thank you for this thread
based
Based pirate user
Ok I have a plan.
If there is actually a baby, I’ll go to step 2, if not, I’ll continue with step 1
Step 1: live life without fear
Step 2:
A) confirm baby as my offspring, of negative, go step 1, if positive go step 2
B) ensure no child support orders are being prepared
C) ensure passport is in working order (no back due child support)
D) move to one of the non-18 countries that enforce US child support laws
E) make sure I don’t work for a US company or contractor
F) establish myself as an ex-pat in Thailand or something
this plan results in an infinite loop
Drop out of school now, go completely dark. Milfs are one thing, rawdogging a stripper is just retarded.
So just give up on your child. Why not take custody and raise her? Enough of a man to blow your load in a smackhead but not enough to raise your child. I can tell exactly the type of person you are just because you fucked a smackhead in the first place.
*continue step 2
this is better option than your retarded thailand plan. move state maybe
>Why not take custody and raise her?
Because I don’t want to.
Should have thought about that before getting a girl pregnant. Instead you've helped conceive a child that is going to have a dogshit existence and probably die of an overdose because you're weak.
That last part about planet fitness kek.
Are you educated? If you are uk pays decent. About 60% what you'd make in the us. I'd say go for it or convince the cougar to abort
I support a man’s right to choose. If women want to keep the baby against the man’s will, a mistake, then that’s on her.
boy why on earth you fucked her raw ?
she is
>a stripper
>old and not good looking
>know to take advantage of dumb ppl like you
so why no condome, you may even have now most of the 150+ HPV strains just from one thot
go on a cycle, at the same time get jacked and kill your sperm count, tell her that you are impotent and that she should take care of the bastard herself.
Mom said she was on birth control. She can live with the consequences of that lie.
BASED
They swab the babys spit and submit a test to 23andMe for 80 bucks or so. They locate one of your cousins or siblings and then track you down within a week.
most based comment on this bread
Oops, meant to reply to this
don't forget she's the town psycho who has to have her picture posted in the gym because she keeps sneaking in and walking on treadmills for hours on end
Because she told me that she picked up the empty beer bottles at our party by hovering her vagina over them and squatted over onto them and was able to hold the bottles inside her vag and waddle over to the garbage bin and push them out - I don’t remember seeing this but she promised me she did.
You’d do the same thing faggots
It's not the mum dealing with it though is it. It's your daughter that is the one who will have to "deal with it". I couldn't give a fuck if the mum died in a gutter but to let your daughter fall into that inevitable lifestyle is beyond imaginable for me. Whether you wanted her or not.
thats what i meant with
>known of take advantage of dumb ppl like you
serious man why no condom ?
also you could you know just hire someone who makes your problems vanish
>You’d do the same thing faggots
I actually would not
>Seeking asylum to an inferior country
Stop being so ass backwards user and raise your child.
What is happening in this thread?
>You’d do the same thing faggots
nah
also
that woulndt been possible with a condome on your dick ?
That would kill any sane persons boner desu senpai. She was picking up garbage with her pussy during a strip sesh?
In the off chance that this is true I can tell you that I've read stories of people making abortion concoctions. One is based of overdosing vitamin C while the other was a tea made of a bunch of herbs. If this thread is alive when I get home I can post them.
What are you trying to appeal to? My sympathy? I have none. My sense of responsibility? I might have one if I hadn’t been baby-trapped by the birth control lie.
The kid will get the same level of effort I got from my own dad (zero) + whatever has a court order behind it.
>You’d do the same thing faggots
possibly if I was absolutely shitfaced
but NEVER EVER without a condom jesus fuck
also seconding the sentiment that she's trying to play you somehow, sounds highly suspicious
Pls do breh... I’m getting desperate
Elaborate on that long story you made short
>waste all the good years thinking that you don't need a family
>meaninglessly fucking half the town
>muh strong independent woman
>become uglier by the day and used goods. Fewer and fewer people give you attention
>biological clock is running out. Forever alone after this. Muh attention!
>OhFuckPanic.exe
>willing to fuck any desperate fool and trap them into 18 years of commitment. Thinks this will magically start a happy family
Something like this. They're mad old cunts who're willing to rape horny 14 year old boys just to get pregnant and receive child-support for 18 years (true story, btw. The court always favors the ones with a pussy).
#yesallwomen
Awww poor you got no effort from your dad awww how sad. Look how shit you turned out too.
You can use all the excuses in the world but it doesn't change the fact that you're weak and pathetic. Punishing an actual child because her mum is a cunt who you still thought good enough to fuck.
I'm glad your dad wasn't around.
Instead of flirting with felony child support evasion now you're flirting with murder
Good job OP
This user probably means the screencap mentioning blue and black cohosh, which work as uterine contractors or something