Just join the military

I tried to draft to the military but fucked up the psychological test before I could even do any physical tests. Safe to say that I was pretty pissed after that.

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You're going to be serving with a lot of niggers, though.

The military is currently a pretty good deal, no real war zones if you are a western country and the work life is great as long as you go officer and not infantry.

I work AT BEST 30 hours a week and get paid 75K.

You will fight WITH niggers dumbass since most of the members come from Russia, Middle East and Africa to get french citizenship.

>2 years pass
>suddenly a trade war with China is not limited to trade restrictions
>get deployed to combat billions of soulless robot people armed with cutting edge tech
>oops

I feel like having to bomb/run over/otherwise kill children and civis at the whim of a superior officer would fuck anyone up, or watching your buddies get blown up for no cause

We could easily be deploying again during the next 5 years, government likes its war

DO NOT JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION.
DO NOT JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION.
DO NOT JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION.

The legion is the French slave army with poor training and poor camaraderie. The soldiers organise themselves into ethnic gangs and those gangs are usually made up by ex-convicts and other scum. Either join your own nation's military, or do something actually worth your time.

Ahh and that's how I know you aren't clever enough to be an officer.

If You think we the West would fight China then everyone would be conscripted and you'd get put in the infantry anyway.

It pays better than my country's military.

I tried to join the national guard but I got denied because of peanut allergies. Feels inferior man.

user, it takes a special man to be deemed too stupid for infantry

Plus I don't really care about conditions etc. I just want to fight.

I’m currently in and idk about that assertion. I enjoy it but I wouldn’t recommend it it just sucks desu.

T. Natty guard infantry

It's basically prison but you can sometimes shoot guns. Better be prepared to fight your "comrades" since even the instructors will beat the shit out of you if you piss them off.

I'm not even American, just my two cents. All this military tech isn't being developed by China for no reason I'd wager

I have a girlfriend I might want to marry and I want to be able to see her ever

>rich nerd
>bad eyesight

if you were rich you'd get laser eye surgery.

Step 1. Become Operator
Step 2. Operate
Step 3. ????
Step 4. Profit

Join a militia or mercenary group then

cope

It wasn't an intelligence test, since I previously passed that test. It was to test your psyche and they told me I failed for some reason. They never told me why and that is what pissed me off the most. They later had the audacity to tell me that I can try again after 18 months. Fuck this shithole country military. If they don't want my help. they're not getting it.

How about Donetsk's people's republic?

I know that the army didn't hit its recruiting goals last year, but you really ought to think twice before trying to pick up autists from Jow Forums mate.
Just take more 2nd quartile ASVAB scores, it'll be safer for everyone involved.

It's for defensive purposes. People who are actually serving and officers all know that war between developed countries is generally too expensive now. We all use proxies and we would only all slug at each other if it was a world war. You failed because you were deemed mentally unsuitable. They can't rellvyou why because you would cheat the test. But basically you said something psychopathic.

fight for the russians and get killed by them if you get too popular?
no thanks

I've been drafted already, it sucked. At least we weren't at war with anyone at the time.

I remember a recent post on Jow Forums saying only the commando equivalent in the ffl got any action in the last few years.

What country has a draft that isn’t during war time?

Russia. Switzerland. A few more.

I've often thought about applying and saying something slightly psycho to get rejected on purpose. Then I could always tell people that I wanted to serve.

Finland, germany

The majority of Jow Forums wouldn't get into the US military if they tried. Look it up, it's harder to get into the Army than it is the Ivy league for the average American.

>get Top Secret clearance + work experience
>work a desk job for 4 years
>retire with 36 months BHA and free college via yellow ribbon program
>get priority for government jobs
>can do what I did in the military for 3x the pay in civilian life
Yeah, the military offers nothing... If you're not retarded and get a job in intelligence it's a great tool to unfuck your shit, infantry is a dead end though.

i wanted to join but they wont let me unless I remove my undescended testicle. Sucks because I got a really high score and the job i wanted.
It may be for the best though because if I plan on living in europe, i'll have to do 1 year minimum in the greek military since it's mandatory there.

South Korea, some eastern european countries

How do you get injured when 90% of jobs are retarded clerical bureaucratic bullshit jobs that have no reason to exist? Honestly it's more dangerous to be a mechanic than anything else in the army these days, that will fuck you up hard.

Yes Anons, please join the military. We need oi- I mean we need to save random people from themselves.

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i joined and i left once basic training was finished

even if i wouldn't get IED:d by some inbred goat herder, i still wouldn't want to sacrifice my back and my knees for my country

not american btw

>it’s harder to get into the army than it is to get into Ivy League college for the average American
Massive fucking keks. If you’re talking about the middle aged deal jockey maybe but still no. To get into the army you just have to not be obese and that’s it, moderate exercise for 3-6 months can get almost anyone into shape to join tha collection of tards

How come army recruiters never get laid and are gay?

>Massive fucking keks. If you’re talking about the middle aged deal jockey maybe but still no. To get into the army you just have to not be obese and that’s it, moderate exercise for 3-6 months can get almost anyone into shape to join tha collection of tards
You realize the weight limitations preclude the majority of Americans to begin with, right? To say nothing else of the other requirements.

politifact.com/rhode-island/statements/2014/mar/02/bing-west/author-bing-west-says-seventy-five-percent-young-a/

>moderate exercise for 3-6 months can get almost anyone into shape to join tha collection of tards
oh the ironing
half this board doesn't exercise and 2/3rds are overweight

Did I say it was exclusively about the weight? And the timeframe I gave?

Timeframe

Found the army cuck. Have fun slaving away for (((them)))

>just exercise!
if it was that easy half the country wouldn't be obese

>beta virgin failing in college cause loser
>enlist because why stay in school with no drive or direction
>love/hate life and experiences for 4 years
>gain valuable life/work skills and lessons
>back in school about to graduate, debt-free
>working at Starbucks, with a reputation of breaking hearts and beds
>tfw still haven't made it

Thanks for reading my blog. I have entertained commissioning as an officer for the money but I don't want my future wife to cheat

Why would they want to cut off your ball?

False. The GI is for life. 36 months = 4 years worth of school. VA home loan is still available. If in the IRR after you still get commissary, gym, etc privileges. There are more benefits that I can't think of off the top of my head right now. Not sure where OP is getting the idea of being NEET afterwords, though.

On that note, I still don't recommend the military. It's not worth the bullshit.

Could you get selected with your gpa?

They're called waivers. You can get in with pretty much anything as long as it doesnt interfere with your duties.

They just recently changed the GI Bill.

"It's not worth the bullshit."
It depends on the branch and job you choose. For example Marine Corps infantry can help you set up for advancement (Recon, MARSOC, etc.) or a contractor job but other than that, maybe law enforcement. But intelligence or public affairs can set you up for success.

In general, you still learn the value of discipline, hard work and physical fitness, but that can only retain depending on the individual. 'Not worth it' depends on what you make of it, applicable to all aspects of life.

I'm friends with a guy who just bought a three million dollar beach house cash and has a lazy eye. Some people just don't care that much. Also my dad works for Nintendo.

That's a great question and thank you for asking. I have a 3.0 (making up for failing the attempt) and need to see if that would be any good.

they require it to be removed if its not descended. I got in a lot of fights when i was ~11 and it reascended one time and never dropped back. I tried to ask my urologist to just lower it but he said he it wouldnt work (but couldnt explain why), so im in the process of looking for a new urologist. I think he was just lazy, he didn't even want anything to do with the surgery he handed it over to his friend to deal with. The annoying thing is it took me 6 months and 300$ to come this conclusion after all the appointments and scans, no change

Lol wut? The military offers shit for benefits after you get out of the service besides college. Unless you get injured in the line of duty, but even then the VA is notoriously shitty and unhelpful. Get fucked military fag.

I had a 3.02, albeit in STEM. Dependent on what you're applying to that may be good if the rest of your package is competitive.

The GI is for life according to the new change.

I was enlisted with public affairs and will graduate with a major in public relations. Considering experience and degree, I would be pretty competitive signing on as a PA officer, right?

I had to enlisted with a waiver, but I think I would have a good shot, even if I had to move to a different branch. Sorry to bother you, I would just like to pick your brain, no homo

I did a few years Army Infantry, got out, going back to school fo free

Have a 3.8 in engineering. Also, if you get out after Jan 2015, you have Forever GIB and no time limit to use.

PA, at least on the Navy side, is pretty dang competitive. The spots are far and few between. The enlisted experience may help. Beyond that, I can't tell you much even though I'm working in PA right now lol.

If you are actually considering joining the only advice I will give you is to stay away from women that are enlisted. Stay the fuck away bros. Seriously. They pretty much have diplomatic immunity for everything because everyone who is in a position to make a call on something when a woman is involved in trouble is too afraid to ruffle feathers.

Just to give you an idea, I knew a girl in tech school who encouraged a guy to fucking kill himself. And when he actually swallowed pills and legally died in his dorm, he was somehow saved and medically discharged. He told the whole fucking story, and the girl got off without so much as a slap on the wrist. I'm not joking. If you are ever, ever caught up in any kind of situation where it comes to either you or a girl, it will be you. I've seen it time and time again.

Too old and smart

Don't want to shower with dudes

This.

Was deployed on navy vessel stationed in Japan. Chicks would get banged out on the boat, get caught, cause social stigmatization, then blame the guy and say it was rape to save face and trouble. Fucking insane..

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Why do people think the military is dying for Israel when in reality its fixing electrical outlets?

Because they are Jow Forums armchair warriors who've never served and groupthink what they see from TV and movies.

What branch/mos?

My country doesn't have a military.

Cuz i aint gay bro. I heard new recruits have to put the barrel of a rifle in their bum and who ever among the recruits sits on it the furthest doesnt have to do extra push ups

I have heart disease

Cant join with a bowl condition, I spend half my time shitting my guts out and I’ve got hella hemorrhoids so it’s painful and bloody.

join isis or some freedom fighters in the shithole that is the middle east

Is the British army this cucked? What about the RAF? I have heard the army isn't worth it anymore.

lads i am joining my countries submarine service (training starts 17th of feb) mainly for the money. What am I in for?

Ha, jokes on you. I can't since I'm a felon.

I did my 4 years as a medic, got my undergrad paid for, went to PA school and make a cool 150k writing orders for 34 y/o roastie RNs in an ICU. Feels good.

Make sure your MOS has some kind of career track when you get out. Do NOT be a medic unless you want to be an EMT for the rest of your life or have the capacity for grad school or med school.

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Further pro tips:
don't get married
save all your money
you will work with retards and niggers and have a terrible time for about 90% of your enlistment
go to school online while you're in
lift as well as regular fag pt
if you deploy while you are enlisted, you can go back over for $300-650/day (depends on your job) on a 90/30 rotation as a civilian contractor

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90/30 rotations are done now. Most are running 105/35, medics can bag a sweet 84/47 contract with a certain company. Also medics make up to 1500/day in certain spots. But you have to be an ex team guy who knows someone to hop on those.
The average is 450-500/day for shooters
And 750-800/day for medics

t. Current contractor overseas

I got cucked for 650/day in Erbil, top jej. Where pays 1500?

There’s a couple executive protection jobs in South America. Somalia is paying $1350 for medics. The South Sudan job pays that much too but they’re closing that site

Conscription in germany is deactivated since 2011 dude.

Interesting, I never strayed from the big 3 in familiar territory. I enjoyed my time having fun but I'm glad that I'm done with it and PSS is just a gay acronym nobody cares about to put on a resume. Good luck to you user.

Africa’s the new frontier to explore, that’s why the money’s so good.
Good luck to you, keep rollin those quads

Why are people so angry at other people joining the military?
Who the fuck cares?

>6 years as an analyst
>$20,000 signing bonus
>GI bill
Got out with zero debt, great credit, and college paid for. Only touched a gun in basic and for quals. Sorry ya missed out bucko.

You joined the marines didn't you?

Greece

Do PMCs take literally anyone with combat/deployment experience or do you have have some sort of special skillset/operator MOS to get in?

>tfw washing clothes in the army
>MOS 92S

feels good man. job is too simple and easy

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FFL is a meme, romanticized the fuck out of. Only viable if you literally have NOTHING going for you in your life.

Got denied to the navy because of a bee allergy, now waiting for the Army to accept or deny the waiver. Should get an answer this week. Pray for me military bros.

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