ITT: Despite all of our pretend alphaness and narcissistic beliefs, we list the autistic characteristics/ticks and hobbies of ours that, if we actually had any friends, we would not want them to know. Don't be a fag, just let it all out. I'll start.
>crawl up the stairs like a dog >scream JUUUUUST in the head whenever I fuck something off >have "REEEEed" at people in public before if it's 1:1 and they do something like litter or accidentally knock over me and it's not an old person or a young kid who might get scared >always sing the chorus to songs in my head while moving my tongue really fast to both sides of my mouth as fast as I can when I'm walking to a class late and have to get there in time >if something good happens and I'm on the computer and I'm alone sometimes I'll get up and swing my arms around and go apeshit like I'm hardcore dancing at a metal show >whenever I have a really big pump sometimes I'll say "that's a big boy" under my breathe >try to make the loudest and most high pitched noises when exhaling on my 1RM >whenever I see people in public think how I'd attack them if I had to kill them, like see a fat guy with a beer gut and think how if I pushed him over he wouldn't get up so like on Fallout taking his legs out from beneath him would be 95% effective, but his stomach gut would only be 5% effective
>tfw went to high school with the guy who made that meme You were a good kid, Dayton
Michael Collins
what meme?
Brayden Ramirez
OP attached
Gabriel Hall
hmmmmmmm. im not outstandingly autisic by Jow Forums standards but i certainly do things that normies find odd >try to mew but do it really inconsistently and sometimes forget how to quickly get back to perfect tongue/throat muscle posture so my whole area below my chin looks pretty silly sometimes with all those muscles flexing to and fro while i figure it out >have to meditate at least 20 minutes a day or i become legitimately borderline autistic >i make absolutely no effort to conceal my autistic eating habits, i regularly eat massive bowls of plain dry chicken breast in the uni dining hall, openly carry around my half gallon of whole milk, eat deenz in my dorm room and let it stink up the place. women strongly object to all of these things but i cant give a single fuck >was a massive fucking brony in middle school >constantly recite witty lines from movies in my head as though im preparing to use them in conversation, never end up getting the right chance to do so (ive been meaning to use “right after you eat the peanuts outta my shit!” as a comeback but the opportunity has not presented itself) >theres always some kind of music playing in my head 24/7, its not like an earworm thing either, i play entire songs back to back constantly and i cant stop. im also a lifelong musician, perhaps others are like this? >i havent used shampoo in almost a year (still use bodywash and deoderant tho) >i always have to take a diet/drug/lifestyle to the absolute most extreme limit i can take it before i decide if i like it or not, but never in an addictive way (fasting, pot, psychedelics, dirty bulking, etc). i do something similar with political ideologies, over my whole life i’ve been a vehement proponent of literally every point on the political compass. currently natsoc, if i ever change my views again it’ll probably be to monarchism or something
>stutter a lot so I speak softly and dont talk much, people think I'm the stoic strong type but I'm really just awkward >obsessively chew on cheeks, lips and tongue so I'm always chewing gum to keep from doing that. Good thing is I always have gum to offer people so they like me. >sing nonsensically to myself when I think I'm alone, I've been caught singing retarded shit >whenever I think of something embarrassing in my past or do something stupid I say "fuck me fuck me fuck me" or the n-word under my breathe, dont know why >hands always shaking for some reason, I tell people I drink too much coffee even though I dont really >make up lies for no reason, even for the most pointless things like what I ate for breakfast
I think I have an undiagnosed autism frens
Alexander Gonzalez
>openly carry around my half gallon of whole milk is this really autistic? for lunch at uni i sit in broad day light and take a swig of milkies i once had a girl point at me. I dont understand what is wrong with drinking milk. its cheap, high calories and high protein and contains water in it so if you are going to drink water why not drink milk and get some calories and proteins with it.
Carson Howard
>no shampoo What effects do you notice of not using shampoo? Any positive changes?
Jaxson Gray
Most of those things are normal. The tongue thing in particular, pretty much everyone does some shit like that.
Colton Taylor
>Most of those things are normal. no, you're just as autistic as OP
John Bell
>Sing songs with certain parts replaced with the word "nigger" when I'm alone
Imagine there's no niggers It's easy if you try No niggers below us Above us, only sky Imagine all the people living for KKK Ah
Gavin Ross
Half of these are understandable and half are autistic. However, you are confirmed autistic because you can’t tell the difference.
>”that’s a big boy” My fucking sides, never heard that one before.
Personally; >smoke a cigarette with my pre workout while listening to music because I’m a dumb fuck I guess >sometimes get piss drunk and take a broom stick and start swinging it around like a sword >lift dumbbells in between drinks >snort pre workout while drunk sometimes for shits and giggles other times to prevent blacking out >judge others in the gym for piss poor range of motion, mentally saying “ZERO” in my head for every rep
Julian Flores
>cannot talk to people outside of basic interaction without sperging in one way or another >i used to unironically wear a trenchcoat, I live in florida. only stopped when my mom got mad at me >I've had no romantic interaction ever, and likely never will also diagnosed with assburgers, so yeah.
Christopher Taylor
>woaw you do a little victory dance in front of your computer when you're alone at home and happy about something, that's so autistic! Everyone does that you fucking robot.
Xavier Wood
You have 3-4 drug related comments. And they’re all autistic.
>swinging a broom around drunk >snorting pre for “shits and giggles” >cigarettes
At some point it’s time to man up and do cocaine like an adult.
>picking the one most normie thing out of the bunch when you yourself said most of those things are normal when in reality theyre autistic as fuck
Cooper Jackson
>get all naked and check my ass regularly in the mirror to see if it looks good, it never does >breathe "shaky", it's hard to explain >correct my posture every 2 seconds >when I think of something that leads to an emotional response I often make grimaces according to it >eat my own cum cause I'm too lazy to get a sock or a towel >I play stronghold crusader since 2004 >eating plain oats with plain milk everyday since a few years. it doesn't taste good but fills me up nicely >put my hands in my pockets and play with my dick at work >when I'm outside with people on weekends I get close to losing my shit in the first 30 or so minutes thinking I'm worthless and noone likes me, after a few hours I leave feeling nice and relaxed because everyone likes me. it's like a cycle that repeats itself since years
Landon Brooks
Nah, I like being employed. If you ask mommy nicely, I’m sure she’ll drive you to get an interview though.
Easton Diaz
I love you
Owen Peterson
I hate to break it to you, user, but speaking softly does not make people think you're stoic or strong. It makes them think you're a bitch. Also, none of that other stuff you listed is autistic.
Ryder Rodriguez
>eat my own cum
Get a turkey baster and squirt it in your ass for maximum hormonal gains. Not even joking
>use “fucking niggers!” as a curse word anytime I’m frustrated. I have no problem with black people it’s just a fun word >also curse in russian and German. I don’t speak those languages >did a six month cycle and all my hair fell out. I’ve always had thick amazing hair >now use a micro needler daily on my head, cut up an onion and rub the juice all over my entire head. Supposed to make your hair grow >eat raw garlic during the day for energy >routinely say, “OH MY GOD IM SO GAY” for no reason >sing to myself, “I’m such a faaaaaaagggotttttt” >go weeks without showering or using deodorant >practice “injaculation” where you press on your pereniun during orgasm to retain your semen
i hate myself so much that i get anxious when other people talk to me lol haha
Austin Mitchell
>whenever I see people in public think how I'd attack them if I had to kill them, like see a fat guy with a beer gut and think how if I pushed him over he wouldn't get up so like on Fallout taking his legs out from beneath him would be 95% effective, but his stomach gut would only be 5% effective I do this as well I'll just start starring at some guy and think about punching him in the face and in elite sniper style, I picture all their bones breaking at once as my fist goes through them
Jaxon Martinez
You realize that drug tests only test 10 drugs maximum? Of those 10, only 1 sticks around long enough to matter.
But hell, who’s a stranger on the internet to distract you from your brooms and caffeine nose?
Andrew Morales
>judge others in the gym for piss poor range of motion, mentally saying “ZERO” in my head for every rep my sides are annihilated
Jordan Price
>judge others in the gym for piss poor range of motion, mentally saying “ZERO” in my head for every rep my sides are annihilated
Joshua Peterson
>>routinely say, “OH MY GOD IM SO GAY” for no reason >>sing to myself, “I’m such a faaaaaaagggotttttt” >>go weeks without showering or using deodorant that's the part where you beat me >eat raw garlic I do this too sometimes, but I get mad gas when I eat more then half a clove
Adam Evans
Stop being me OP. I do the same things plus: >start behaving like a gorilla at random moments >in public, at home, doesn't matter >hunch over, bring out an underbite >start woth low grunts >casually proceed to full on monkey noises >jump around and flail my arms Some other things: >banepost irl >punch and headbutt walls >recite anime punchlines (jojo, fist if the north star, etc) >imagine life as a video game, with quests, side quests, leveling up, stats, social links, etc. (This is actualy helpfull for me) That said, who here wanna have /dogcrawl/ up te stairs contest?
>when lifting, pretend the weight is considerably higher than it actually is so I feel more confident about lifting it >put an enormous amouont of effort into things that I shouldn't, often screaming as if I were attacking someone >Am convinced I have throat cancer despite not being to a doctor ever in my life, as such I am convinced that I won't live past 40 so I haven't planned for it at all, I'm sure this will come to kick me in the ass later, or maybe I do have throat cancer >I hate women, I don't even want to have sex with them anymore
Grayson Torres
i have naturally super dry hair so literally any shampoo makes it bone-dry and frizzy and overall shit my hair is somewhat normal now
Liam Sanders
OP where do you go during the day? How do I meet people like you to be friends with? Normal people are boring as fuck. Anyway here’s mine >narrate inside my head the whole time as if I’m the main character when I play a video game, usually add a bunch of stuff on to the actual story >fidget my hands a bunch in uncomfortable social situations >general nervousness around women. I havent met one who was into anything beyond clubs, netflix, and “hiking/adventures/outdoors” (going on a hike once or twice a year) since high school, so I have not maintained any female friendships for a few years and am not used to interacting with them outside of forced interactions like with a cashier >probably the worst one: I have a seperate world/worlds built up in my head with many plots like movies. I imagine myself in them when I listen to music (i imagine fight scenes between myself and some antagonist, which is usually someone in real life i dont like) or just want to think about something more enjoyable than this life. Im always the main character and both I and other people in the world have powers usually based off something I’ve recently watched or played. Like the force, bending from Avatar, superpowers, etc. theres also often gods and characters from other shows/movies. I also have an imaginary woman in these worlds who is what a perfect woman would be for me. Ive gotten monogamous to her where I always imagine her the same way, same name, same personality, same appearance. Im usually saving her or fighting with her when I imagine a fight. Im not a schizo because I know its not real but i think im developing some kind of mental disorder
Elijah Wilson
I once forgot a box with a used condom in the pocket of my jacket and then left it therebfor a few weeks because it made me laugh to have sperm present when talking to people.
Jeremiah Anderson
Hello, Chris Chan
Kevin Butler
>always do some autistic pre-lift ritual before heavy deadlifts like pray to Rich Piana, say "lightweight baby", say shit that the Bugez says like "EASAAAAYYYY" or "it's a MINDSET" or some shit about Allah and Islam.
I'm not far into the spectrum enough to do it crazy loud but just do it loud enough for it to count.
Josiah Rogers
>want to go see Disney's Chimpazee in theaters >no friends to see it >decide I'll show up to the theater in a gorilla costume so people will think I'm funny and not a weirdo or something >go to my attic to get my old gorilla costume >a beam of light shines upon it as if it were meant to be >brush off the cob webs and decrepit cat turds >go to put it on >it's a little small only reaching to about my elbows and knees but I'm already too committed to quit now >mom drives me to the theater >no words are spoken just the occasion giggle from me in the passenger seat >walk into the lobby of the theater on knuckles like a gorilla walks >my entrance noticeably startles the qt cashier but then just turns into a blank gaze >"one ticket for chimpanzee" >"yeah alright anything else, sir?" >"do you think I'll see my cousin bobo the chimp in this?" >"Uh I don't know maybe?" >"he he...do gorillas get in free?" >"..." >"Do...do you get if? Cause I'm seeing Chimpanzee." >"But your a gorilla." >"...that's right." >pause >"would you like anything else, sir?" >"uh...do you have bananas?" >she gives me a blank stare >long silence >when I get nervous I get gassy so a fart breaks the silence. I don't know if she heard it or not. >"Enjoy your film, sir." >didn't get one laugh must be a tough crowd >walk into the theater in bewilderment >sit down too embarassed to even pay attention to the film >fat kid behind me keeps throwing swedish fish in my fur >40 minutes in get up and throw his box of swedish fish across the theater >run to the lobby and wait for my mom to pick me up
>exclaim “undesirable” when I’m frustrated >grind and bang my teeth to music instead of humming >pull hair out sometimes when I fail a new pr >never bite fingernails, only bite finger skin next to nails >play with leg hair when idle
I also smoke before and after working out in the parking lot next to my truck lel
Hudson Rodriguez
My most autistic habits are >calling people turboniggers in my mind when I see them do something dumb >automatically think about the brapping meme every time I see a thot >refuse to masturbate unless I can do a full arm workout right after because I am worried about my arms being uneven >dance wildly in the shower >lick the piece of gum i’m chewing and pretend it’s a clitoris I’m sure there are more but I’m drawing a blank right now
Hunter Jenkins
>Hiding your powerlevel I never do this and nobody's given a shit; and I wouldn't care if thy did
Nathaniel Mitchell
Not your story
Liam Watson
>don’t really like vidya but still play Sim City 4 from 15 years ago like an autistic man child >get angry thinking of all the socially retarded shit I’ve done and will shout cuss words like I have Tourette’s while driving in my car >when I’m quickly running down a flight of stairs I can’t help but say “nigganigganigganigganigganigganigga” in my head
Joshua Wilson
It's not normal by Norman standards because milk jugs are only taken out of the fridge to pour into glasses or cereal bowls not used as an actual water bottle. I've been looking into getting a half gallon Hydroflask or an off brand one to conceal my autism in public, but afraid I'll stink up the inside of the bottle.
Nicholas Foster
> I pretend to see things through a HUD, with the info I know of some people, like, I see a coworker and by the side of his face comes the message: is a faggot >Have an autistic good memory, and remember details of people stories. And when they retell me, sometimes I correct them in these details, always getting strange looks > Piss in the sink whenever I'm not in my house > Had a notebook where I wrote details of everyone. It would be like the precursor of my HUD, and now I pretend that it's updated inside my head > Get really proud when I take a big shit. Get frustrated when shit is average or small > Whenever I'm thinking/talking to myself, I do it in English (non-native) > I like to make inceptions. Like get a slang into my work or something that everyone starts to use. But get frustrated that noone recognizes I'm the introductor of the slang > Whenever someone ask me if I'm drunk or if I've been drinking, I start cosplaying my sober self.
Isaac White
I feel like I'm controlling a video game character instead of "living", kind of like viewing myself from third perspective at all times. I wonder in my head why I said something in a conversation while I'm saying it, and plan every function I'm about to do and consciously think about them while I'm doing them. I actively critique what I say even while I'm saying it, I view my social relations with others as a "game" of sorts and always try to maximize the result. I don't think it's bad - I'm a good speaker and get a long with literally everyone, but I don't know how normal this is at all since I don't have any other reference than myself, naturally. It's impossible to turn off the inner monologue I'm having with myself 24/7
Joshua Moore
Jesus this thread makes me feel better about myself >wear Vegeta compression shirt to gym >deadlift with no shoes on >pace around deadlift bar softly singing to whatever song I'm listening to >everytime I break a PR I say "ring a ding baby" to myself
I came here to laugh at your big autismo, but I took one of you under my wing. I had very few friends back in middle school, but I was normal. Played sports, didnt spend all my time online, even made friends through longboarding and just being outside. I made a friend who was basically just an absolute caricature of Jow Forums. He had no friends and seemed like a school shooter, so I decided to be friends with him so he wouldnt kill me when the time came. turned out to be a pretty normal guy, just played alot of HOI, CIV 4 and browsed Jow Forums a lot, I helped him get through a lot of personal problems, make friends, and basically taught him to hide his spergy tendencies. turns out I actually stopped him from shooting up the school once, and now were both in college, at schools just 5 minutes away. hes a skinny fuck so i know hes not gonna see this but he reminded me not to laugh at other peoples autism.
Aiden Morgan
>>was a massive fucking brony in middle school This. I still listen to the music.
Dylan Kelly
>>smoke a cigarette with my pre workout while listening to music >>judge others in the gym for piss poor range of motion, mentally saying “ZERO” in my head for every rep These are fine.
Chase Bell
>get angry thinking of all the socially retarded shit I’ve done and will shout cuss words like I have Tourette’s while driving in my car delet
Adrian Jones
>judge others in the gym for piss poor range of motion, mentally saying “ZERO” in my head for every rep
same here kek
Nathan Martinez
>talk loudly to myself >blame the Jews for everything >yellow fever, jungle fever, flat chest, wheyfu, tomboy fanatic >watch the odd anime show >beat it something fierce to 2D >fucking love playing outside in the snow, will sometimes turn the AC way low and put on all my winter clothes in summer just to pretend it's winter and camp out in my cold attic >fantasise about killing people who have slighted me in even the most insignificant way and how to get away with it >believe all women are stupid and talk down to them
Chase Jones
>When driving alone in my car I'll often do this chanting thing where I just make whatever noises feels right, kind of like all made-up words chanted, sort of good vocal exercise >Sometimes instead scream when driving >Constantly narrate shit back to myself in my head >Have several personas to give commentaries on narrations >Really don't feel right if I don't do some morning and post-workout stretching routines, feels like I simply can't skip it. >If it's almost bed-time and I haven't had enough protein, make up some fractional amount of scoops stirred into glass of water even if it's the stuff that doesn't mix very well >Urge to smash faces/skulls with hammer >Make overly detailed lists and plans for things. These are about anything with some recurring ones being theory-crafting some build, listing out financial plans, making life plans, what would I do in X situation, making up character backstories or lore, designing how I could make something better or build a certain thing, listing out a diet or best foods or going over past and planned workouts. But this also spills over into worry thought loops. I think the more I spend playing music, writing, etc. the more these those activities will take up that space instead so I try to keep up with doing them >Always squat-poop and use sink to pee where possible if I'm out >Wash my hands on average 20 times a day, sometimes 40-50 >Sometimes whisper one of "fucking thots" or "degeneracy manifest" or "oof" when I see a thot, depending on situation >Play Gregorian chants in my head >Start smalltalk with strangers or people in social situations 100% for the practice, on autopilot and just keep them talking >Make up philosophical type quotes or poems to myself >Often smile uncontrollably in public due to some funny thought I've had is I'm in a good mood. Other times I mew and force a pretty stern face >"Lightweight baby" or "Strength above all" whispered, or in my head
Aiden Sanders
>when I'm driving alone I will narrate my life to an invisible audience, like a vlog or some shit >I do this in english even tho I'm a german living in germany >helps me collect my thoughts and prepare for tasks
>before I go to bed I double check if all the doors are locked, stove is off and fridge door is closed >when I'm really stressed I do this multiple times >idk if it's ocd or just a habit
>I'm not religious but when I get anxious about something, like the death of someone close to me, I send a quick prayer to God >also do this every night in bed
I guess I'm pretty neurotic. I also love city building and tycoon games, but I'm studying architecture so I think I can get away with that.
Nathaniel Ortiz
Also, sometimes I get the urge to kiss people I'm having a conversation with. Not just girls, totally random people. It's like once they get into my personal space I get that urge. It's freaking me out, but at least it replaced the previous urge which was gouging out their eyes or otherwise attacking them.
Jayden Russell
I like that last point. I'm the same way and I think that one-track mind puritanism is generally more welcomed on Jow Forums than anywhere else.
Anthony Parker
I think the kissing urge is normal, its pretty weird though. I dont think ive ever had the urge to gouge out peoples eyes though
Jacob Wright
Thank you for your input, Norman.
Daniel Gutierrez
Agree with last point. My disgust overrides my horniness at this point. Also lmao at deciding you have throat cancer.
>say random shit under my breath when I remember an embarrassing moment. Like "fucking cost me 80 bucks at the mechanic". Dunno why.
Strongly relate to this as well. I'm president of a local public speaking club so it fits well.
Charles Evans
Whenever something shitty/anxiety inducing comes to my mind I mutter the name of my high school crush and imagine her in my head and bad thoughts go away immediately like magic. It's weird. Like a mental teddybear that I can hug whenever I feel really alone and vulnerable. Never even talked to her due to autism but now I have her living in my head as a guardian spirit.
