Help with gym etiquette

Hello Jow Forums, newfag preparing to go to the gym for the first time. Could you guys give me some basic gym etiquette or some unspoken rules of the gym?

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Just go do your workout

also, make sure you spit on your hands and wipe off the bar after you use it

it's common courtesy to sniff the seat of the machine/bench you are about to use

- Always tip the receptionist
- Don't forget your squat plug in order do avoid a mess on the floor
- no baseball shorts
- be helpful and give others advice whenever you think it is needful
- reracking weights is gym staffs job - there's a reason why you tip the receptionist

If you have to fart, put your foot up on a bench or a step before you do and then let out a sigh of relief immediately after farting.

Gym is a place for physical exercise, so just be physical: Feel free to fart, burp, grunt and comment nice buttocks of females.

solid advice

This!! New gym goers look like sheep in wolves clothing not spitting on their hands after every set.

If you vomit, make sure to do it in one of the trash cans on the gym floor. Don't go making people have to scrub the toilets unnecessary. They will thank you for it.
Bonus points for being loud. One of the gym thots will most likely take pity on you and give you the sexy time.

good thread

So much this. It's so funny watching a gym noob not grasp the opportunity to slap a passing girl on the ass

>sexy time
A good point. Us people who follow the fitness lifestyle are very open to sexual encounters. So if you find someone attractive and want to fuck with him or her (gym-goers are rather liberal in ther orientation towards sexes), just go and ask. The usual code phrase is "You wanna sexy time with me?" But don't forget: Always accept a polite "No!"

Also it's better to vomit in one of those bowls with white powder in them, it's like kitty litter - easier for the stuff to clean later.

Don't just use the squat rack for squats. It also makes a great towel rack while you do all your other lifts or socialize. Pull a bench up and go to town.

Make sure you wash your dick for penis inspection day. Yes, the indians are staring at you. No, there's nothing to be done about it.

Guys is penis inspection day real? I keep hearing about it every where. This is why im afraid to go do anything. I wont go to the range because Jow Forums says there are penis inspection days there too

I'd say it is important to just be aware of your surroundings and the other people there. Wait your turn for machines/cables/ free weights to open up. If someone is alternating between things and you want to use one, just be sure to ask the guy /grill if they are done. Besides that just enjoy yourself and don't be afraid to ask for a spot if you need one. Another good piece of advice for beginners is to work on your form. It is alright to do less weight in the beginning to make sure that you have your form down. Then you can progress to heavier weights. Bring music and you'll be in your own world making gains. Peace user.

Based

Don't forget to do cardio for about 30 minutes before lifting so you perform better.

Have you been living under a rock user?
If I don't have at least a half dozen penis inspections a day, I feel like I didn't get enough done.

It's not just the gym or range either.
-post offices
-fancy restaurants
-rugby games (nrl only)
-your mother's house

Just relax about it my dude, theres no size requirements. They're just checking to make sure you don't spread any diseases.

So what am I missing out on?

In my gym it is mandatory once a month. The inspector always checks out penis and scrotum and when everything is in order I always get a little kiss on the tip. Usually the inspections are performed by the youngest female staff member. If a public penis inspection annys you just ask her if you can show her your penis in a private room. She'll be happy to please you.

Well obviously
-sending parcels at a reasonable price
-a very nice place to take your lady
-watch a broncos/warriors match and see for yourself
-your mum cupping your balls

You just need to man up, go to that shooting range with all the confidence you can muster, don't bother wearing pants or underwear because they do penis inspection immediately anyway and it's easier to shoot naked regardless.

Just fucking do it, tomorrow you need to stroll butt naked into your local range holding your loaded rifle and walk straight up to the nearest lady there and say you're here for penis inspection and you're not going to leave until she does it.

Godspeed user.