What’s the most Jow Forums way to clean your butt after pooping

imagine the smell

Italian subhuman, Macron will burn the lot of you insh'Allah

F. Showering after every shit

I sometimes shower 3 times in a day. Lolol idk why

this

>not cleaning with water AND soap
you had one job

I would wipe her ass with my tongue

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i stick my ass in the sink and warsh all the shit away with soap and warm warter unironically

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I dont wipe

Use a bidet.

>wrap toilet paper around your finger
>stick up anus
>clench your asshole
>pull out finger

If you have that problem where you just have to keep wiping and wiping, this will solve it every time.

>using your hand

i literally just squat down and use the jet to power wash my ass, do it every morning

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Baby wipes do the job just fine friend. Just after the wipe is clean, do one more, get the sides of the cheeks. Just because there’s no feces, you need to also scoop up remaining germs.

Little Jupiter won't be doing shit. And neither will you, Ahm*d

I used to take a shit, wipe with TP, and then when I'd go to sit down on my chair, my chair would fucking reek of shit even if I was "clean".

I tried looking for a solution and found that just showering after I poop (I poop like 2-3x/week) is the best thing for me. I take the shower head and aim it at my crack -- cleans so well. Gone are the days of just using TP.

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flushable wipes, wiping front to back, then toilet paper to wipe off the residual moisture.

Literally just wiping first with toilet paper then wiping with a baby wipe.

Alpha mode is to have a bidet.

>not using your hand and then licking it clean to absorb any calories to that your digestive system might have missed on the first go-around

christ it's like you faggots are actually trying to not make it

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Take a shit before you enter the shower. From here you just squat down and dig out the shit stuck in your butthole with a finger. Soap your hand and rub it on the inside of your cheeks before rinsing it off with water. After you're done you scoop up the remains(the shit obviously) with toilet paper and flush down the toilet

Been doing this every morning for five years now

But I'm not smelling my butthole on purpose. Hell, even accidentally.

You’re missing the point. The fact that you can still smell the peanut butter means that there remains some still on your arm even after wiping. If you can’t even get peanut butter off your arm, imagine how dirty your add still is after just using TP.

do you niggers not have a jet mode on your shower head?

why use your hand to fist yourself every morning jesus fuck

Nice anus

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There is a great pleasure to start the day with a clean ass, and the only way to know if it's clean is to "get in there" and feel for yourself

im pretty sure power washing your ass with warm water is more clean than fingering yourself

>(I poop like 2-3x/week)
Never gonna make it.

>D. Cleaning with water
>E. Cleaning with water and then using toilet paper to dry the area
The most idiotic ways
If you do not wipe away as much poo with a dry piece of paper before applying water you will create gross poowater that will go all over your ass, cheeks and marinate your balls, this is disgusting low IQ inbred moslem/pajeet behavior, even just dry wiping is better.
The redpilled way is to first dry wiping with toilet paper to remove poo and then clean using the wet option of your choice.

I went to a gastro doctor so they could check me out and she stuck her finger up my bum and she and another Doctor told me that i was fine and that its just my metabolism
i think i gotta go back tho because i have to push whilst on the toilet constantly

Im an American and I know how to use a bidet bro. Just wash away

>Rather just spread it all over your cheeks with a paper.
No wonder Burgenland is on a decline.

Ever since I cleaned my diet up my wipes all started coming back clean, eventually I just stopped wiping completely

Macron can’t even control his own people

>paper to remove bulk
>water to remove remaining and clean anus
>paper to dry
Using paper to remove all of it is unsanitary and will rip up your asshole

Imagine

Patrician

Unironically:
>wipe ass with tp while just barely putting your finger in the rim to scrape out as much filth as possible
>get into shower
>clean between asscheeks with bodywash
>spread ass and use middle finger to scrape any remaining shit out
>use bodywash again
This pretty much only needs done every other day or so.

Also, a bunch of guys are about to comment on my post and reveal that they walk around with shit dribbling out of their asses at any time while simultaneously wondering why they can't get a blowjob.

This

Won’t too many showers a day cause some seriously dry skin? I’m one a day, twice when working oit

If there is a "bulk", you should change your diet.

It's relative right 95 percent is still bulk whether it's a teaspoon of shit or a liter of shit

My wife has this Summer's Eve pussy soap ..I finger my but hole with it till my finger doesn't come away brow ...good for breaking loose any nut gravel or popcorn bits that bget lodged up in there

On square of TP. Fold TP in quarters, tear off small section of corner that was formed from the middle of the tissue, set aside (DO NOT DISCARD). Insert middle finger through hole created during first step, push paper to base of middle finger. Run finger through intergluteal cleft, (START AT REAR OF SCROTUM) making sure to hook finger slightly at anal opening to capture all of the solids. Gather tissue at base of finger, squeezing around finger and pull up, wiping the finger clean. Use small portion of tissue reserved in first step to wipe clean under fingernail.

D then use a towel or toilet paper
any other answer is unacceptable, you must be a fucking subhuman to just wipe and then pull up your pants

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>all these amerisharts without a bidet
Cringe.

Using the towel you brought to wipe off your sweat

Yeah, because letting your toilet fuck you with it water cock isn't cringey

>baby wipes
>not just wetting the toilet paper with water
1. Wipe the small amount of solid waste away with dry tp
2. Get off the toilet and do a full squat
3. Alternate between dry wipes and wet wipes until the outside to an inch inside your asshole is clean.

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>scream LIGHTWEIGHT BABY while shitting

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Bidets are less hygienic than using wet wipes. Think about the shitty water that is being sprayed all over your ass cheeks.

>being this insecure
But hey, if walking around smelling like shit props to you.

only correct answer

>shitty water
You wipe first and then use the bidet. You Americucks are really clueless lmao.

So you're saying that dry toilet paper actually does get all of the shit off your asshole? Otherwise, the residual shit would still contaminate the water that is being sprayed all over your butt cheeks.

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What the hell is wrong with you people? We are animals designed to shit why tf would you need a DIY colonoscopy after every casual dump you take? If your responses were any sillier I would have thought this was some penis inspection day type inside joke.

>the water that is being sprayed all over your butt cheeks.
I don't think you understand how a bidet works, retardbro.

Nothing wrong with wanting a clean ass

I wipe with TP first, clean with soap and water after, then take a shower (usually poop right after I wake up or right after i get home from the gym, when i need to take another shower anyway)

Even if it goes straight up your asshole, there's no way that the run off doesn't reach your cheeks. Also, I don't think that water w/ out some sort of soap can completely get rid of shit.

Sorry for being civilized and not living like a fucking deer that just shits where it’s eating and carries on with its business.
>Not waffle stomping the shit down the drain
Never. Gonna. Make. It.

PLEASE make a video of this and post it here.

>there's no way that the run off doesn't reach your cheeks.
Yep, you don't understand how it works.
You sit on it just like you'd sit on a toilet and then open the valve so that water can reach your asshole but not so much that shit would be sprayed everywhere else.
Furthermore, you are supposed to use soap, you're washing your ass after all.

>he doesn’t shit then clean himself with a shower
>he doesn’t use baby wipes when he has to shit but can’t shower after

use a bidet you fucking animal

Wiping is important, but fisting yourself so that the INSIDE of your ASS is clean of poo seems metaphorically and literally masturbatory

Based pajeet

F. Wipe with wet toilet paper, then get some TP wet and wipe with that, then wipe with dry TP, repeat until clean.

>T. has a greasy smelly asshole at all times

What do I do when I’m at work. Isn’t it autistic to walk in with a thing of baby wipes?

Eat pipe cleaners so your shit cleans after itself on the way out

>wiping at all

If you have to wipe, your diet is shit. Stop eating plant foods, your body cannot digest them properly.

pillow

>he doesn't know how to use the three shells
I could see how somebody might find it confusing.

Whoa whoa whoa I like Tool as much as any other fan of heavy bass, but Who said anything about fisting? I wipe thoroughly with toilet paper then hop in the shower to rinse the rest away with soap. I’ve had it smell throughout the day in the past and it always made me paranoid

that is One Perfect Ass

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cover the wet bits with protein powder so they become easy to remove. then wipe away with the hand i use for noFap. any extra comes off easy in a cold shower

The only based answer. Warm pressured water solves everything

Bidets are a meme perpetuated by gays in the hope that they can get straight guys to get their assholes stimulated to a point where they start to like it and become gay too. You can literally achieve the same, if not better, level of cleanliness without getting a jet of water up the ass by using tp first and a couple of baby wipes afterwards.

Shit before you shower. Rinse after using normal TP. Don't plan your showers after your shits, and don't use fucking baby wipes. This irresponsible wasteful behavior is just like stacies pissing all their hormones in the water supply.

Insecure Amerishart cope.