/sig/ - self improvement general

/sig/ Basics:
>Set realistic Goals and have a Plan. Hold yourself responsible.
>Meditate ( youtu.be/F0jedwTzIJg ).
>Learn helpful and effective daily/weekly/etc. routines, including mundane ones. Use digital Calendar reminders.
>Learn to be Brutally Honest with yourself. Stop being a slave to your Ego.
>Focus on the essentials. If you try to do everything at once you’ll burnout. Little by little.

Resources:
>web.archive.org/web/20161029073323/http://www.arcitea.com:80/ - Good all around for self development (Original site died)
>www.bakadesuyo.com/blog/ - Good blog for self development
>dbtselfhelp.com - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy self help resource. Particularily useful for those struggling with anger, depression and anxiety issues.

Deal with Yourself:
>youtu.be/LgUCyWhJf6s - Emotional Intelligence

Deal with Others:
>youtu.be/s61o8y22BpM - Quick summary of a few points from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Books:
>gutenberg.org/ebooks/2680 - Meditations of Marcus Aurelius
>dropfile.nl/f/wpw6 - How to Win Friends and Influence People

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Other urls found in this thread:

dropfile.nl/f/ruR
dropfile.nl/f/nhP
youtu.be/l96TZeZGlDg
youtube.com/watch?v=b197XOd9S7U
youtube.com/watch?v=VsNcjRSBhGA
dbtselfhelp.com
jigsawexplorer.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Also recommended reading:

dropfile.nl/f/ruR - Tantra Illuminated
dropfile.nl/f/nhP - Recognition Sutras

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Going to a hiring day for a home improvement company for seasonal work. Since nothing I've done so far has worked out, this may be my last hope. Kinda sad when you think about it.

Guys I relapsed after 2 weeks of nofap o god o fuck what have I done

If you're ever going through hard time, ask the Lord for help. There is no shame in admitting that life is tough and seeking a little assistance from Christ. Pray sincerely, and he will come to your aid

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Fuck christ. I've been a loner my complete life and continue to be till this day. Doesn't stop me from trying my best and improving myself every way I can.
>Currently on day 7 of nofap (soon to be day 8)
>Haven't done drugs since July 2018, I'm done with drugs
>Haven't had alcohol since 2018, I'm done drinking alone
>Got a job working 32 hours a week I've been at for nearly a month now, was a certified NEET end of last year
>Enrolled in two classes, haven't missed a single class and plan to get an A in both of them

Haven't been to the gym in three months, but plan to change that shortly after I get my next paycheck. I've outlined a few very specific goals for me and I'm now working everyday towards accomplishing those goals. I plan on accomplishing these goals by myself, not by praying to some imaginary deity to solve them for me, I'd rather die.

>tfw currently, my only vice is wanting to buy another basedtendo switch.
I had to sell my launch day one recently to pay for rent back when I was a depressed NEET. After that I somewhat promised myself I was done with vidya, been incredibly productive ever since. But the urge to repurchase the Porsche of videogames has me on edge bros, especially with the direct I'll watching tomorrow, what do I do bros?

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>extremely religious grandparents (you enter the house and they rub a cross on your forehead with oil, listen/watch strictly gospel, etc) both get cancer at the same time
>grandmother makes it, grandfather struggles for almost a year with brain cancer
>grandfather bought a "Jesus is my boss hat" the day he was diagnosed, always wore it.
>quite, wise, reliable grandfather slowly becomes confused, angry, and sad.
>family taking care of him, he even stays with us for a while.
>mom is suffering.
>hospital says he's finally getting better
>the next day he dies
>months later mom is still screaming and crying because he's gone
There is no fucking God. That faggot let's rapists and murderers run rampant and get away with it but my grandfather can't live a bit longer than 72? My family has to suffer because this is God's will? This some sort of sick joke? Some sort of test of will? Fuck God, fuck religion, fuck believing in some magic fucking skyfairy when they don't fucking care who gives praise and who doesn't.

Everyone dies dude. Did you think gramps would live forever?

No obviously not but for fucks sake I'm saying of there was some sort of God this shit would be peaceful and not months of suffering for everyone

>pray for your grandpa
>he dies anyways
>but he goes to heaven
>Jesus meets him at the golden gates, smiling
>says that grandson granted him a swift passage to heaven
>"You were a great father and grandfather. I'm proud of you"

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SWIFT PASSAGE? HIS FUCKING BRAIN SLOWLY DECAYED OVER MONTHS, WHEN HE WOULD TRY TO SPEAK IT WOULD BE JUST NONSENSE, THANK YOU SWEET JESUS FOR THE SLOW DEATH HAHAHA HAHA PRAISE PRAISE GLORY GLORY LET MY FAMILY SUFFER THIS IS THINE DIVINE WILL PRAISE BE!

Do you prefer to think he is in hell? You sound like a very negative individual

Anyone have any good material on one's thought processes? I want to talk to this girl but I look at her and just start hating myself and a bunch of other negative shit.

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I really hope janitors keep purging these religious threads they're so fucking stupid

Feeling negative when we go for things we might fail on is the human condition, bruh.
I don't have a huge amount of help to give you but I can guarantee that whatever solution you find, you're still going to have to consciously fight that negativity because it's never truly going to be gone.

user, I work in seniorcare and at one time, in a skilled nursing facility. I saw men like your grandpa go all the time, sometimes worse. I understand why you feel the way you do, but I promise you there's more, there is always a light, an end to suffering, and a resolution.

Nice get
Also yeah, I recognize that it's a normal thing, but I've never attempted to keep it in check and if I keep it up I am just going to ruin my chances with her one day when I snap. Do you think meditating might help a little bit?

nice man, I'm really happy for you.

>currently 27 years old
>was never very popular but lost friends in HS which made me socially isolated with no friends/girls, lack of social development led to few friends, no girls, and continued social isolation in college and post-college

>this caused me to just become even weirder and more awkward over time, as well as bitter, angry and miserable all the time
>get annoyed by everyone and every thing yet wish i had a social life
>just the weird funny guy that makes people laugh but hardly laugh or even smile myself and I'm an aloof asshole so no one wants anything to do with me

>too insecure about not ever having had the slightest romantic experience and my humiliating worthless life to even try to get a girl or make friends

>to put the cherry on top, misery and severe depression caused by social isolation led to poor performance in college which has led me to fail getting into graduate programs i planned for so i have worked a shit paying humiliating retard job (in a very wealthy area) 4 years since graduating college that was supposed to just be for a year or two to help me get into grad school so i wasnt even one of the smart computer science/engineering nerd losers
>absolutely no clue what to do work-wise now

>have driver's license but too scared to drive so I just bike and rideshare/subway everywhere
>parents rightfully kicking me out of the house and while i hate living with them the thought of living with other people and them seeing my "life" terrifies me (although i did it in college)
>have no motivation or hope for life to improve even a shred so i just do nothing ever

When you think of a real r9k loser, I'm the definition of it. People like me are the ones who were supposed to be aborted. No idea where to even start to improve. I have the life of a 13 year old

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This is the 3rd time ive seen you post this.

Are you just going to keep copy and pasting your problems to Jow Forums or are you actually going to ever do anything?

No this is my first time?

No, I don't think so.
You can only really control that shit long-term by getting comfortable with each worrying thing, and you get there by doing it when you're not comfortable at all.

youtu.be/l96TZeZGlDg

Starter pack

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don't give in to the game jew. it will destroy your progress. one you get your switch you'll feel happy for a week and then spiral down

>one you get your switch you'll feel happy for a week and then spiral down
I know man, it can really only hinder my goals. It's just that I've been playing vidya my whole life and suddenly going cold turkey with it is weird. Today my one class was cancelled cause of snow day, I managed to do a few productive things, but most of my time was just spend browsing this shithole... I just need to stay busy, or find a more productive hobby to fill the many hours I'm not working or at school/doing school work, and gym. Which might be tough.

video games are so gay

Thread isn't religious but Christfags like to prey on people who are trying to figure their shit out.

"lol just pray bruh"

Learn moderation. Nothing wrong with liking what you like but don't spend all your time doing it.

try to find some online games to play with your friends, especially if they're co-op. They're generally not something you can play all day, and as long as you make sure you ONLY play with your pals you won't waste time unproductively AND you'll get to spend time with your friends

>with your friends
user, fuck you.

>like a girl
>she has a boyfriend

Should I just entirely disconnect? I'll just cause her and her boyfriend trouble anyway.

Sounds like you are afraid to just try. You probably know that things would be better if you just did the things you are so scared of.
As a first step i would also figure out what exactly your issues are. Sounds like you have social anxiety, but you need to get a grip on what's actually wrong.

>get annoyed by everyone and every thing yet wish i had a social life
This is a really toxic attitude that you developed because of your social isolation. To cope with your loneliness you think you are better than everyone while simultaneously hating yourself more than anybody.
Also being on the internet all day, especially Jow Forums, where everybody actually acts like an asshole doesn't help.

Lastly, people can change a lot in a short amount of time, humans are really adaptable after all. But you can only change if you really want to and really try.

yes

How do i stop being jealous of my friend for being hotter than me? He's like 9/10 and i'm around 6/7 out of ten I mean he's a total bro and shit but god damnit i don't wanna be left in the dark.

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There's two things you can do:

1. Disconnect.
2. Go through incredible amount of introspection, personal growth and find contentment inside yourself. Then be happy for her happiness, and love her within boundaries.

Doing the first is easier, doing the second more beneficial and something you should eventually do regardless. There is no shame in doing the first now though, since the second does take a lot of time and effort, made even harder because of her presence in your life.

Below is reply to another guy but you should check these videos as well:

youtube.com/watch?v=b197XOd9S7U
youtube.com/watch?v=VsNcjRSBhGA

And seconding:
All of the videos say roughly the same thing in different ways. Also dbtselfhelp.com

>Ratings

Don't do this to yourself. You are you, he is he. You are incredibly fortunate to have a friend, don't poison the friendship by comparing yourself to him.

Feeling of envy might come over you, sure. That's fine, but don't keep telling yourself that there is any real reason for it. You just wish you were better in some regard - that's fine, and human, but don't encourage a feeling of envy. You'd only be feeding the useless part of your ego that only wants to be right, even if it means you'll be unhappy.

Thank u for making my day user

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Mfw he fell for it

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I'm behind at work. I keep having my boss assign me to his bitch work, and then getting mad at me for not finishing other projects.

I'm constantly having nightmares about work.

How do I know if I have a good job, or should move on?

we are all gonna make it

How many times are you gonna post this?

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>SIG is getting shitted up by Abrahamic religion shitposting again

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user, we dont live forever. Don't get frustrated with religion. If you don't believe in it thats fine but think that faith in god may have given your grandfather the bit of strenght he needed for those times.

Who is also trying to become a hero?

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Not how this shit works kid.

Now you’re just lying. Get a hold of yourself, and stop posting this shit.

What pill are you, or would you like to become?

Pic related

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Working towards Green Pill but must try to avoid the temptations of Brown Pill.

this may be the stupidest image ive ever seen

Found the Red Pill.

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Brownpill who wants to become a mix with iron pill

Newfag.

I believe brownpill is the best choice for the current world. Living as a greenpill sounds too dangerous.

Yeah but I mean, chakras that radiate healing energy? That's amazing. I could do so much good.

But user, that stick...

Blue pill detected

Stopped fapping for 5 days, cant remember the last time I did this. Before this I used to do it almost everyday

Feeling really good would recommend

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Work on looksmaxxing nonetheless.

I know...

But Tantric Sex!

Guys, i need some help. I'm trying to get back into lifting after almost a year off — but now i have a 4 day work week, that works like: i work for 4 days, 12 hours and more each, and then i have 4 off days. Is there any workout routine that can accommodate that schedule?

Homies I relapsed on nofap what to do

Need strength to finish an assignment

Ehh, depends what you want. For general fitness, just workout on your off-day. Full body workout with your choice of exercises that are effective, and your choice of cardio. Do something light during work days ( general exercises that combat whatever strain your work causes you, things like that ).

If you want to become a powerlifter or something, you'll want to ask the guys in /plg/
I know you feel tired and that's okay. It doesn't mean you are incapable of finishing the assignment though. It sucks to have to do things when you don't feel like it but it sucks even more when you regret not having done them.
I'm sure you can do it user. The fact that you admit that you feel you need strength to continue is already great. If you have the strength of character to do that, you have the strength to finish your task.

How do I stop being a toxic person Jow Forums?
It happens that whenever I see someone doing better at things I do I feel irritated and angry at those people, even those who are not better or at least at my level relatively.
They didn't do anything to deserve me being toxic around them but I just can't control myself at those times.
When such person appears I becomes sort of passive aggressive.
I don't want to be like that. Nowdays I am just trying to shut up and keep it to myself not ruining anyone's mood but I still continue to think badly of them. I realize this is silly and not a habit of a good man but I don't know how to deal with it. Telling myself to chill about it just doesn't do it for me.
I am still angry at them.

I'm not really tired, I just don't know how to continue. Need to finish today though.

I'm not sure what advice to give, I don't think I've ever been in that situation because I rarely pay attention to what other people do. If anything, knowing someone does something very well motivates me because it makes me feel like it is achievable.

First of all, are you sure you are just angry? What are you thinking when that angry feeling comes up?

Sorry, tried to give an all-round encouragement that then missed the mark. What do you mean you don't know how to continue?

the anger comes from the fact that despite from what seems to be equal amount of work these people get mires, people are more friendly with them and talk with them often even though I was trying to be friendly and outgoing too. It just doesn't feel fair, I guess it is also my jealousy that they are more successful even though I am trying hard too.
Makes me think that people don't see me as a person but rather some sort of a clown to have some laugh with and forget while someone more new to the group of the gym gets more friends somehow and I don't really see big difference between how this new person acts and how I act.
I fucking hate it.

I'm shit at elaborating and writing bullshit. I definitely see that as a skill and I lack it, so I'm struggling to elaborate on what I have and find more things to write about.

If it seems to you that the situation is unfair, it's pretty damn understandable that you'd be upset about it.
Could you think about some recent situation where you got angry like that? Or can you sort of relive it? Can you tell me what it feels like? In your head, in your body?

So it's a writing assignment. I assume there's some word or letter goal you need to achieve?

What is it about?

Having broaching feelings of inadequacy again bros...... Any tips on staying positive/optimistic?

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Have been going to one gym for some time
Tried to be outgoing and friendly with everyone but not in a cringey way when you apear to be tryhard, basically minded my own business untill some chit chat opportunities appeared
New guy comes
Basically acts in a similar way to me
Maybe the only difference between him and me is that he openly talks about his sex life or something like that while I don't like to talk about it.
People are drawn to him while me standing at the side or doing my routine thinking why the fuck would they want to talk about any topic with him and not me instead? Like they talk to me but as soon as this other person appears the attention shifts away and suddenly it is like I never existed. Frustrating and make me question who am I to these people I've been talking with for months in the gym. Do they consider me a friend or just some dude to say 2-3 words in between sets.
Like, I was never ever invited to some sort of parties or a pub.
I don't really care if I am gonna be alone from this point but I would also want to be able to switch some of these negative emotions off.

It's an analysis of a linguistic problem, and yes.

Accept that sometimes you're just going to feel bad. Let it come, but also let it go. Stop giving narrative to the feeling, just feel it until you realize you're not really feeling it anymore. When you hear/feel your ego nagging something about "yeah but see this happened and then I couldn't x and that's why I'm not good enough blah blah", trying to make you continue feeling that bad feeling, thank it for the input but don't heed it.
If the feeling keeps popping up, just repeat the above process.

If you have to analyze, then try your best to entertain every possibility? Even the ones you know to be wrong and then debunk them? Or have you done that already?

You kinda didn't answer what I asked there but thats cool, now you're thinking of that situation that you told me. How does it feel?
Close your eyes, focus on everything you feel and describe it to the best of your ability. Not just "it feels bad" since that's given. Does it burn? Does it freeze? Where do you feel it? Stomach? Chest? Forehead?

Have any of you had to deal with hypochondria? It is actually interfering with my life and I can't stop even though I know it's completely irrational.

A bit difficult to explain, it's a problem I've created, now I have tow write an analysis about it. However, it is a simple problem and I feel like there isn't anything else to describe or analyse, but then again I suck at it.

Sorry, I wish I could help. It's annoying when there's quotas since that so often just leads to pointless yammering for the sake of it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Let the thing rest for a bit maybe, put it completely out of your mind. Solve a puzzle. jigsawexplorer.com/

it doesn't feel neither like burning nor freezing. I just feel this heaviness or something, feel like there is a smoke gonna appear out of my nostrils.

There was a link posted in a /sig/ thread a few months back. It was for a Tumblr page which archived all these videos on informative and educational stuff.
If anyone has got that or knows which page I'm talking about, please do share

Should I get electrolysis or laser to my upper back hair? There is a small patch of hair growth there but other than that my back is hairless and it's unaesthetic af

I'm really sorry you feel this way. I don't want to sound like I'm just saying that so hope you don't mind if I try to relate a bit. I can't put this as eloquently as I'd like so I'll just tell you my experience.

I have been in situations so similar to yours. It made me angry and jealous too but in truth, I was afraid of people ( despite being socially skilled ), and sad because I was afraid of people. I just got angry because that's what at least made me not feel weak. I got jealous. It was a never ending cycle though where I spent less time with people, then get angrier because nobody spent time with me. "I'm better than them, I'm this and that ( but I'm still lonely oops nevermind that, lalala )".

I became a royal NEET on my throne of trash.

It took me years of very hard work to dig myself up from that hole. I had to overcome my extremely cocky ass that would insist that anger is useful and that I most definitely was not wrong about. Ultimately though my logic would crumble and I had to admit defeat. Well, my ego was helpful there because I didn't want to be so petty as to insist despite being proven wrong. The ultimate argument against me was "is that working for you", and objectively, I couldn't say "yes".
I had to stop loving the anger, regardless of how seemingly "powerful" it made me feel because it just wasn't giving desirable results. I thought I was fighting nobly with my "useless, sad, pathetic self" but in fact, I was fleeing from myself.

I accepted my fear, my sadness and now I'm in a much better place. I work, I'm in a relationship, I have friends, I'm getting fitter and healthier. I'm still cocky, I still get upset, but I don't start digging that hole again. I try to learn to be better. I know what the direction is, but I still must walk the walk.

Eh... this got really long... I don't know if it's any help but believe me when I say that I don't wish for you to feel the way you do, I just don't know how to help.

It's a pasta at this point.

I feel like I dont know who I am. How do you sort yourself out? I have a hard time defining what I truly believe in. Am I a NPC?

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I've been doing mewing for like 2 weeks now and i've seen some results

You are not an NPC.

I know that this seems pushy and I totally understand if you feel aversion but I really would recommend you read Tantra Illuminated ( dropfile.nl/f/ruR ). It's spiritual but you don't have to buy into that aspect of it, just think about the philosophical side as it has so much to do with figuring out your own self.

I have done it brahs, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.

Also I'll be buried in a super mario bros casket.

Fake, you become a wizard after 30 years

>I have done it brahs
Imagine an 80 year old saying that

That’s good I’m happy you’re making progress. I’ll pray for you that you continue to make progress and be happy in this life.

I understand your pain I’ve lost both of my grandparents on my moms side. They were both late 50s early 60s when they died. It sucks I understand, but be happy that you’re grandfather got to live a full happy life. Despite his confusion towards the end of his life, just know that if your grandfather died when he was his happy wise state of mind, he would have died content. Who’s to say he wasn’t when he did. Most importantly he wouldn’t want you to act the way you are now, he would want you to turn to God to be happy instead of the bitter man his death turned you into.

Death is confusing and strange but it is the one certain thing in this world. Everyone has to pass sometimes, I’ll pray for you and your family for what it’s worth.

>I’ll pray for you
don't. I neither need nor want your "prays".

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Yeah get mad at God. Dude you’re getting a bunch of support from randoms who want to comfort you but you still act like an ass. Why don’t you cure Dementia if you want to turn your rage into productivity. He was 72 user idk what you expected, that’s literally the age of life expectancy in America.

I still am. I don’t know how you expect to get better from these situations if you keep responding to everything negatively. That won’t bring your grandfather back and neither will my prayers, but I hope you get out this terrible bitter slump you’re in.

>if you keep responding to everything negatively
I don't though. I just respond negatively to deluded, non-larping christfags like you.
>That won’t bring your grandfather back
ok?
>but I hope you get out this terrible bitter slump you’re in
my position is completely fine relative to some african who's about to starve to death in a couple hours. Pray for them.

never going to make it, if you can't understand how autistic and edgy to say this you need to focus more on developing social skills

The same christfag your grandfather was? I have and do pray for them, but you’re obviously very hurt about your poppops death and that’s understandable have you tried therapy? I can see you’re hurt without ever meeting you irl. Projecting big time, I hope you’ll be as wise as your grandfather one day and see that he was meant to leave.

I wouldn't say this IRL, but online anonymously, I always give 100% honest answers. I seriously do not need nor want any "prayers" directed towards me.
Now you've just outed yourself as a retarded larper. Hilarious meme bro, haha.

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