So come on. We're telling gym stories

>So come on. We're telling gym stories.

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>be me
>go to gym
>lift weights
>see girl and get delusions that she must think I'm hot
>stare at myself in the mirror between sets
>watch other gym goers through the mirror
>compare myself to every guy i see
>wonder why some smaller guys there bench more than me
>get annoyed that some guy isn't putting his weights away after using it, but dont actually say anything to him
>fantasize about saying stuff to him
>consider doing cardio afterwards
>don't
>go to changing room
>retrieve bag from locker
>outline in my head that first I take all my clothes off, then put my normal clothes back on second
>so as not to get confused
>weigh myself in between
>79kg
>same as every day
>bump into someone as I leave
>say sorry
>he says sorry
>leave changing room
>go back into changing room
>tap guy on the shoulder
>sorry for bumping into you i didnt know if you heard me say sorry before haha. but i did
>he says it's ok and laughs
>leave for real this time
>look at cute PT who actually lives near me
>assume she thinks I'm cute
>fantasize about what a relationship would be like with her
>get in car
>drink protein shake in parking lot while scrolling through instagram for 15 minutes

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GODS I WAS STRONG THEN NED

Are you me?

maybe, is your name george? i've got brown hair about jaw length and a mustache. i might have salad for dinner later but i dont know. should i season it with anything?
do you think I should kill myself?

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> be me
> go to gym in dorm
> nobody ever works out there
> still show up at 5:30am to miss the crowd
> chest day
> 4x5 bench goes good, sit on bench between sets and browse instagram
> look at my ex’s page
> damn i miss her kinda
> put on some 50cent
> bang out my last set
> complete rest of main workout
> finish with abs
> shit not burning anymore, gotta add more shit to my routine
> literally do 10 different ab exercises in one set B2B to feel the burn
> each set takes like 9-10 minutes
> not gonna add reps cause doing 50 toe touches is boring as fuck
> finish ab workout, feeling nice
> want to check out my pump in gym mirrors
> nobody here so who cares
> take off hoodie to check pump
> lookin good buddeh
> go back to dorm room, grab protein shake
> PB, milk, whey, and spinach
> shits good
> sit completely naked on shitter browsing phone, sipping shake
> shower running the whole time, bout 20-35 minutes
> wonder why i have hemorrhoids
> room completely full of steep, cant touch phone without screen fucking up
> shower for 5 minutes
> get dressed
Just another day in the life of a mack

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>be me
>In locker room, stoned out of my mind
>Off duty cop next to me
>Pretty sure i'm fucked
>Turns out he was checking out my ass
>Hints at me to get in the shower with him
>Suck him off
>He cums in my mouth
>Pretty good load, tastes okay too

That's it, really.

What the fucking fuck, are you me?

Oil, vinegar, salt and maybe a bit of pepper. Just don't put too much of each

Killing yourself would be bad for gains

For your information, I'm not a cop, I'm a prison guard, and I could totally tell you were stoned and paranoid.

GODS I WAS A MEME THEN...

More whey your grace?

>2012
>just joined my first gym after watch zyzz videos
>still lifting to this day because of zyzz

thanks brah

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>be me
>buds in, music blasting, minding my thing
>making good progress, feeling good
>7/10 chick leaves changing room
>sits in "leg-spreader" (aka 'Whoratron') across from what I'm using, gets to work
>spaghetti is building
>decides to wrap up before my eyes betray me
>think I caught her glancing while I was wiping down the equipment
>Not sure if mirin' or caught
>continues elsewhere
>chick gets up 5 minutes later and enters changing room
>leaves
She was working her thighs for 15 minutes tops and then calls it a day. wat?

>drink protein shake in parking lot while scrolling through instagram for 15 minutes
you should seriously stop doing that. Instagram will get you nowhere

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that's some rare pepe, I'm stealing it

I havent been to the gym for 3 weeks

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>4x5 bench goes good, sit on bench between sets and browse instagram
using a phone in the gym is for the not gonna make it's (unless it's just music)

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>be me
>use highschool gym because cant afford membership
>school hires new security guard
>old security guards let us lift without a problem
>new one kicks all the kids out
>find out he kicks everyone out so he can use the entire weight room to workout all to himself
How do i get this guy fired?

Based

What do you do during your rests then?

>He came running at me, this dumb, manlet lad
>Thinking he could end my lifting career with a single flex of his arms
>I mogged him down in the power rack. Gods, I was strong then.
>Repped out his 1RM
>Probably shattered all the ego he had
>I stood over him, barbell in the air
>Right before I hit my PB he shouted "Wait!"

>They never tell you how they all shit themselves
>They don't put that part on Instagram

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> concerning yourself with what people do in rest times
Never gonna make it

Pure kino

please do not post this again

>gym stories
OH COME ON, WE'RE TELLING BOOOOAAAAARRR STORIES

Why do you post pointless anime pics but think you can judge other people like you're not an invalid?

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you just got boomed

I've read some sorry shit on this board, and this is top 10 easily. Get your life fixed, son.

Sounds like a normal gym thot. Or you scared her off.

> posts anime pics
Your opinion is invalid

>be me
>go to gym
>lift baby weights
>drink my protein shake
>go home
>le sexy time with gf
>play videogames
>next day repeat.
>mfw

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>sorry for bumping into you i didnt know if you heard me say sorry before haha. but i did
Brah the line ends here

>be me, today
>barely above dyel
>go to gym 40 mins before it closes
>squat day
>finish my sets, 10 mins left
>fuck it, I'm maxing out
>singles up to 4pl8
>5 mins to go
>gym receptionist dude is going around the weightroom making sure nobody broke anything, telling people to put back the weights etc.
>barely 1rm the 4pl8 with all I've got
>rack the bar, receptionist is beside me
>"nice dude"
>"thanks"
>I start unloading the weights
>"nonono it's cool I'll do it, go get some rest man"

I know it's nothing special but it's extreme weight for my normie gym so he probably was impressed. Not gonna lie felt pretty fucking good desu.

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Literally the best feeling

>On ph3
>Doing a 5x3+ of 365
>Hit 7 on the amrap
>Might be having an asthma attack
>Had to let out a guteral scream to inspire myself to finish the last one
>So much sweat my glasses fell off midset
>Two manmonsters were waiting on the rack
>These dues have to have 40" quads
>Take belt off
>One taps my shoulder
>"Get some rest brother, we got this"

step one of fixing your shit-delete instagram

tell the administration he tried to sell you steroids

Great stuff

I went to the gym. Worked out muscles. Went home and ate after.

Based gymbros

KINGSLAYER GET IN HERE
WE'RE TELLING BOAR STORIES

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I can't relate to this at all. feels good.

Stare-downs to assert dominance

I hate that 80-90% of this is me

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>go to gym to workout
>thots walking on treadmills with incline maxed
>old dudes on ellipticals behind the treadmills
>bunch of high school kids crowding around squat rack
>ask when they’re done
> they say soon
>do circuit on machines
>they’re still hanging around rack
>one doing curls in a rack
>ask again when they’re done
>they say what’s the rush and ask if I’ll die of old age (I’m only 25)
>get frustrated and leave
>come back next day, same group of kids
>same circumstance
>end up buying dumbbells, kettlebell, and a swiss ball off amazon to work out at home

I bet my mailman hates me now

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happened today
>homegym so i was ass naked
>workout was going well
>had a shit ton of preworkout because today's 1RM day
>maxing out my diddly
>start muttering 5 scoops over and over
>it progresses to me screaming "5 SCOOPS CMON BABY" over and over
>get to top of lift and let out a high pitched scream that sounded like a girl
>slam the bar down
>mum walks into the basement to see what all the ruckus was
>I thought she already went to work
>she walks in on my ass naked in the middle of a squat set
>finish my workout and avoid eye contact with mummy
>she tells me to be less loud when i'm lifting
>o-ok mum

>inb4 NEET
i work a night shift nursing internship

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based.

work-in you fucking retard