Friday night

Holy fuck. I didn't notice it was even friday until this topic. I've had my shades closed all day and have only left my room to get a monster (white). fuck my life

Because I have no friends and my girlfriend left me so I'm spending time with my mum after a fulfilling week at a new job. I just cooked a healthy bulking meal and I'm ready to get 8 hours sleep so I can go to the gym tomorrow and lift to continue to improve both my mental and physical health. Just because I'm not spending my fridays drinking with friends and then coming home to a blowjob doesn't mean my life is worse, just different. I hope.

I wasn't.

Then just apologize. It's really not hard to mend fences if you are willing to say
>hey I reacted stupidly/way overreacted/was in the wrong
>wanna hang out again?

Cause Im wasting 2 mins till I can clock out at work and then go home shower and fuck my gf

>basing life around fitness
>basing life around homosexuality

One is a hobby and discipline that improves your life from top to bottom, the other is a mental disorder that makes you untrustworthy around kids. Not a good comparison.

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Stopped accepted invites to go out. It's massively cucked to go out get drunk see my friends hook up with girls, but be too ugly to get any girl.

being an incel is shit I'd rather just LDAR alone

Just because I snatched that one fat kid (for reps) doesn't make me untrustworthy around kids, jesus

Came home from the gym, cooked some food for me and my gf and now I'm just chilling here. How are you fellas doing?

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stop making this fucking thread at 2pm PST. im still at work you fucking nigger

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What should you base your identity on?

I really would love to have a girlfriend but my wasted teenage years with staying at home, rarely going to any party, not caring about other people and thinking that "my time will come" instead of realizing that its right now left me socially retarted and make it impossible for me to make the only thing i ever wanted to come true.

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THREAD THEME:

youtube.com/watch?v=coJjo3NmAEI

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how old are you? social retardation is curable at virtually any age

I'm taking it easy OP. I've my first ever second date tomorrow and I'm kinda nervous but we spent hours talking on the first date and we kissed and I had a nice time. Unironically being yourself works if you're not 300lbs turns out.

Hope you're having a good one.

I guess but now that it's already been done I'll feel like an even bigger idiot for apologising, they don't really even feel like my real friends anyway. I'm just really anti social but I try so hard to be, it hurts brah, All I want to do is lift the heavy thing and mire myself.
Sorry for the blogpost.

You can do it if you try. W8 for that certain someone to pop out of nowhere while doing nothing does nothing but waist your time. It is a start that you have realized that. There is nothing more to it anymore than going out there to try your wings. I believe in you user.

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27

I have a very good job, a couple of friends, a degree, my own place.

But the think is this: I have huge trust issues. I dont trust my friends, my boss, my family, anybody that i know personally. So im missing the foundation of having a relationship and opening up.

You know how many times i thought my boss was going to fire me even if there was absolutely no reason to feel this way?

How to fix this?

Can you 1pl8 bench?

Lifting heavy weights is worthy of praise and admiration though, not everyone can do it and only the people who have put in the time and effort can. It shows a certain level of dedication and discipline to put up 1/2/3/4

I dont have any friends left to do stuff with.
I'm 25 and kinda lost interest is most social activities.
Also need to move out until the end of february so I will have to work this weekend.

And I'm actually happy with just lifting weights, working and studying.
I'm happy being alone. Is this weird?

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you should talk to a therapist, m8. that's not healthy. sounds like anxiety and lack of self-esteem.

Being able to apologize and take responsibility for your emotions is respectable. Wallowing in self pity and apathy is not. Apologize, it'll at least be good practice.

>art hoe
>appropriating ironic weeb internet culture
cringe

you wont be after a while

Why not?

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I just had shoulder surgery and I’m on a fist full of oxy and Valium. I’m watching a movie with my mom while shitposting.

Absolutely based and redpilled.

It's 2pm on a Saturday and I'm doing some work.

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based cocoon mode

After I quit drinking and getting high I found that I like to stay in on friday nights and relax after a long week at work more than I like going out and doing shit. Might go out later tonight and do some night photography if weather permits it but most likely I'll just be chilling at my apartment and relaxing with my boyfriend.

explain how lifting makes me untrustworthy around kids

Big difference between a genetic disorder and a lifestyle.

Same boat user.

Although my problems kicked off with severe depression and led me down a strange route, here I am at 25 monk-moding my way forwards.

Just got back from playing some basketball with the lads, think we’ve got plans to hit the bars tonight around 10 so I’ll be chilling here till then.

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Nothing drastic but I need a bit of advice here, fellas.

>planning on doing a nice long day hike tomorrow in my favorite park an hour away
>ask my friend if he wants to go
>asks to bring his gf and her dog, whatever, sure
>they say it's her friends birthday tomorrow and they want to bring her, sure
>just now they said that she doesn't have time for a full day hike and they want to do something closer

They're also not really outdoors people so I don't know what I was expecting, but do I just go with them to a local trail or just do my own thing?

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Well depending on how close and short the local trail is you could just take it with them then see them on their way and go back to your original plan.

T. dyel

Because I can't work out and drink juice at the same time, lord Bane.
Forgive me, lord Bane. I shall get back to it.

i would ravage this art-hoe specimen.
her face and ass = 'canvass'
dick = paintbrush

do what is best for YOU
do what makes YOU happy.

your birthright brother

chillin at home programming some stuff.

do you guys log your lifts? i built a little web application to keep track of mine but i honestly don't find much use out of the data at all. i'm trying to find new features to build or some sort of filtering of the data to provide routine recommendations? dunno. debating if i should keep building it or if i'm wasting my time.

if you want to fuck around w it - athlytics.pythonanywhere.com/

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...

i have trust issues because I moved around a lot as a kid (like every year new country). I went (but would never go) to a therapist like some other user said, i went twice by the advice of my mother and instead of moving on from the problem, they just have you talk about it. I realised that it's a bitch thing to do to live with "regrets", live with mistakes because then you admit to yourself you can improve.
I just stopped caring about being hurt since it can really only ever get so bad, being rejected on a personal level sucks but it's not like you will die. You just have to suffer through it and it will make it feel even better the day you finally succeed

Gf is visiting her parents and I'm just shilling. Nothing beats a quiet lonely weekend once in a while.

>at work today
>see an office chair with a white stain, probably yogurt or something, but make joke about it and "incognito mode"
>phat ass jewish girl i talk to and we kinda flirt i guess who's made this joke to before when a computer broke suddenly says "no you use a sock with incognito mode to not spill your seed everywhere"
>was able to restrain myself from saying "forget a sock to hold my seed id rather use ur pussy"

I did good Jow Forums I am proud of myself

I did it again
Its even more awful now.

>2 weeks ago had sex with some old hag with a smelly vag
>horny again decide to do it again
>chat her up during the week
>she is free on friday
>whyamidoingthisagain.rar
>at around 6pm leave to get to her place
>2 fucking hours in traffic to get to the other fucking side of the city
>Arrive finally, she had sent me a chat to cancel the thing about 15 minutes ago
>shit I am already here I have done this before
>text her saying I already arrived
>shouldhaveabortedmission.flacc
>she comes and picks me up
>we go to her place
>I am very horny, start kissing her and grabing her flabby ass
>"You seem in a hurry"
>"I drove with an erection for 2 hours"
>Go upstairs, kiss a little more carres her thighs and chubby arms
>start getting flashbacks to her disgusting hole
>she starts getting hornier
>clothes go off, light goes out
>the smell of her vagina now reeks through her panties
>Its a mixture of old fish and bloody puss

1/2

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To crash this thread, with no survivors.

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I haven't eaten or gotten out of bed for 3 days. Heavily considering suicide. I no-call no-showed to my job this week because I just don't care. There's no point in any of this and I don't enjoy anything anymore. I can't enjoy movies, music, physical activity, conversation, or any human interaction, really. I hate being a human being and I hate the human experience.

The only reason I haven't killed myself is because my mom is a very fragile, innocent and family-oriented person. I think if I killed myself it would really ruin her. I'm probably just going to do it anyway though because fuck it, she's just going to die anyway and none of her feelings as will have mattered.

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What the hell happened? You weren't doing too bad before, now you're just gonna give up half way?

>Forgivemefatherforihavesinned.wav.jpg
>Her pubic area and everything around her stinky hole was brown in color like one rusty skin crust
>she had few hairs, still it was weird hairs popping out everywhere, instead of a concentrated bush
>her hairy twat was only made more disgusting by the fact it was surrounded by more dry warts than hairs
>Imagine a slice of wet old cheese with overcooked corners that got burnt that you accidentally dropped and it got all covered with tiny hairs, dirt and tiny rocks
>reminds of granola too, some hairy granola
>In my mind "Its ok user you have been there and done that befor, you can do it"
>Stop breathing and start kissing through her panties
>start licking and sucking while avoiding to swallow
>The stench is even worse this time arround
>focus on finishing fast
>she pulls panties aside
>had forgotten her ugly axe wound pussy was so disgusting
>as last time, she grabbed my head and pushed me towards it
>The stench reached its peak
>Need some air, try to breath through nose
>the smells gets inside my nosetrills and kicks me hard, feel my eyes tearing up
>have gag reflex and almost threw up
>decide mouth breathing is the only way to survive this
>really give it my all in order to get over it
>two things cross my mind while licking that horrible hole
>1. I should have gone to church
>2. My gf's pussy was truly a blessing
>finally she orgasmed, her whole body suddenly relaxed
>I can breath now, the worse has passed
>Now her turn to give me a BJ
>Very good she knows this, she was married for 10 years before divorce
>Penetration time, try to put on condom
>Dick is half flaccid, the smell was truly a boner killer
>As last time, get it to 2/3 erection
>This time around she gets on top
>She is really liking it, I am kind of unamused
>After a while I cum, she keeps going on my half erection

1.5/2

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The final redpill.

My gf came late from work and she’s sleeping, so I came for some good old shitposting
t.DYEL

It's not giving up because I never chose to be a human in the first place. I don't think that human-level self-awareness is a good thing. I already know how my life will play out even in the best-case scenario and I don't see the point. I'm not being dramatic when I say that I don't enjoy anything anymore. I've tried every category of medication, therapy, exercise, hobbies... none of them gave me any sort of satisfaction past the first 5 minutes of engaging in them.

It's like the part of my brain that allows me to enjoy things and derive satisfaction from activities has ceased to function. I think I'm just going to take my 20 grand in savings and find a way to transfer it to my roommate, go have dinner with my parents one last time, catch up with my brother and then to make an exit bag and end it sometime this week.

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I would like to ask
Are women in general soft? and if so, how soft?
I would like to simulate hugging a girl and wish for the advice of more experienced peoples to guide me in this.
I have the oven all to myself tonight, set to 100 F and ready to go.

How do I talk to girls

>Take the time to contemplate my life choices while her saggy tits hang in my face
>she has not realized I finished like 5 minutes ago
>think she orgasmed, cause she stopped after some very weird faces
>pull out
>condom is gone
>PANIC.WEBM
>her dirty hole just sucked it right out of my half erect dick.
>she rushes into the bath
>meanwhile I am laying there on her bed wondering why am I doing this
>i dont even really enjoy it
>she comes back fully dressed
>Go and wash my dick
>after that get dressed and leave
>she asks me to do her a favour and buy a her a pack of cigarrettes at the store
>connect the dots
>her pussy smells so awfull because of her smoking a fucking box each day
>go to my car
>drive with a stoic face once again
>Decide to get some milkshake to make myself feel better
>Get to Starbucks, some qts looking at me outside
>wonder why am I fucking some ugly old twat instead of ripe young pussy
>Starbucks guy closes door in my face, go to McDonalds
>Ice cream machine is broken, cant get ice cream or milkshake
>Find my thesis professor there, she tells me one must use his time the best way possible
>realize she is right I should stop this sort of massochism
>decide to cross the street to the old ice cream shop I used to go when I was a kid
>fianlly get a milkshake
>suddenly a classmate from school hadnt seen in years, she liked my "new look" a lot.
>go home and drink my milkshake

2/2
It was an ok ending for the day I guess.

Hugging a fat girl is pretty similar from hugging a high quality bean bag.

Based

Good times will come, user. Just remember not to think with your dick and see again that smelly hoe

Since you are gonna kill yourself why not go out with a bang
How about running with bulls in Spain.
Some always die. 1 or 2 each year anyway.

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Dude I'm not kidding when I say you need to see a doctor/therapist. Fuck don't just throw your life away and ruin your family's life just because you're not feeling it.

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Post bod

Loser

Thank you.
Its actually very awful, I dont even enjoy it.

I've seen multiple therapist, psychiatrist and psychologist over the course of the last eight or so years. I've done talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, silent retreats...I've had relationships, decent amount of good sex, I've become a good guitarist, worked my way of the company ladder to make a decent wage. I haven't felt fulfilled from doing any of it. Being alive is just an annoyance. There's no end game, you don't win. Best case scenario you get old and then fall apart and die and nothing you did matters. I just don't care enough to keep doing it.

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Join some group

I’m always here

>girl at work asks if i live with my mom and if i drink

she totally wants me right guys

Do you enjoy creating stuff.
Like, say would you enjoy turning a bunch of rock into a beautiful statue?
I find most activities boring after a few days. But when it comes to actually creating stuff I truly enjoy myself.
I cant make a statue like pic related, but Its something I thrive for.

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> 20 year old grown ass boomer in college
> start crushing on girl in class
> Don't see her outside, I have no friends in my major and never cold approached a girl
How do I get rid of feelings? I just wanna study and get grades but I catch myself thinking about her so many times a day. She is average looking for everyone else but a cutie in my eyes

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>Go to the gym Friday night because I'm a fucking nerd with nothing to do Friday night
>It's full, every bench is taken, all the squat racks are taken
What the fuck

Just got a ski lodge my GFs relatives own. We're hosting a bunch of friends here for a skii/snowboard weekend. I just popped a melatonin and I'm trying to wind down, took a lot of caffeine to make the drive here happen. Gf is in bed already, I'm taking a long shit, then a shower
>hoping all those leg days will pay off when im out shredding pow

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I was granted the gift and curse of being extremely self aware, to the point of which I'm not sure I have any discernable personality at all. I definitely have no identity. Anyways, if I acted based on my hormones I'd be a complete piece of garbage because any time anyone opens up to me I get these horrible OCD psychotic thoughts of how they're weak and how it's pathetic etc etc. I don't really feel that way, I love my friends and family, but the thoughts come up and scare me. And I'll get little pings of anger as well as fear whenever I talk to people too.
There's a solace in knowing that I'm aware of it and that I can just ignore all those voices and be the good friend I want to be though. sorry for the blogpost.

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>how do I get rid of feelings

You don't. You find ways to cope with the situation. Back when I was wageslaving on the side while studying all of my "tfw no gf" faggotry just disappeared, because the focus of my life shifted from "kinda not be totally useless this week" to "avoid getting a mental breakdown again". Find yourself something to keep occupied I guess, when there is always a next task waiting for you, your brain will hopefully fuck off with the unnecessary feels.
It is admittedly a shitty solution from a drunk faggot who is currently crushing on his friends roommate and therefore cut off contact to that friend tho.

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first of all im an idiot for dating my ex again

second of all i thoroughly believe she's recently had sex with one of her guy friends
she's been all distant on me, not asking anything about me for a week

You mean nightmare

None of this really sounds out of the ordinary to me user. You seem to heavily misjudge the people around you and assume that they are somehow better than you inside. I certainly can assure you that most people are just as much of a neurotic wreck as you and me are and constantly pass harsh judgement on everyone around them while also absolutely drowning in insecurities.
I used to drink quite a lot and was out partying all the time back in the day, when you are the only relatively sober person around and everyone else is smashed, you see all of that disgusting bile flowing out of them and there is not one person I know off that is immune to this. They will trashtalk each other, act like kids when confronted, undermine their friends behind their friends back, etc.
In fact, being excessively aware of it is the only thing keeping you from turning into such an animal, the thoughts will always be there for everybody. No worries user, you are doing the right thing.

>People with schizoid personality disorder are often aloof, cold, and indifferent, which causes interpersonal difficulty. Most individuals diagnosed with SPD have trouble establishing personal relationships or expressing their feelings meaningfully. They may remain passive in the face of unfavorable situations. Their communication with other people may be indifferent and terse at times. Because of their lack of meaningful communication with other people, those who are diagnosed with SPD are not able to develop accurate impressions of how well they get along with others

>Aaron Beck and his colleagues report that people with SPD seem comfortable with their aloof lifestyle and consider themselves observers, rather than participants, in the world around them. But they also mention that many of their schizoid patients recognize themselves as socially deviant (or even defective) when confronted with the different lives of ordinary people – especially when they read books or see movies focusing on relationships. Even when schizoid individuals may not long for closeness, they can become weary of being "on the outside, looking in." These feelings may lead to depression or depersonalisation. If they do, schizoid people often experience feeling "like a robot" or "going through life in a dream

Thank you man. I'm blessed to have the friends that I do and I want to believe they would never act like that though. It's comforting to me to think that even though I'm lost in thoughts and never able to be secure or trusting, that maybe, on their end at least, there is none of that. That true friendship and love does exist no matter how wacked out my brain gets, and even if I can never truly experience it for myself.

stop pitying yourself. you can't change the past, but you do decide your future. you're the only one standing in the path to your goals; get out there, find people with common interests, work on your social skills, and get that gf. I believe in you user.

You are putting too much meaning into fleeting sparks in your brain dude. What you do in the end is important and how you judge it based on healthy human reasoning. We are all dumb animals somewhere underneath, it is our duty to overcome this if we do believe in higher values.
You certainly can experience it for yourself, your picture of "true love and friendship" is just waaay too idealistic. Nobody in this world will ever experience how it is to be truly at peace with yourself and others around you, not harboring any ill thoughts or bad intentions. Accept it and live with it, it is the first step towards those ideals you are metnioning.

I'm here cause I'm depressed with everything else in my life except my lifting and I come to fit to sift through the meme shit and snake oil to collect whatever info I can to help improve my fitness overall.
Then ill probably slide over to /gif/ and beat my dick up before I go to bed.

>currently 27 years old
>lost friends in HS which made me socially isolated with no social development and therefore no friends/girls through HS, college, post-college
>this caused me to just become angry, miserable, weirder and more awkward over time
>get annoyed by everyone and every thing yet wish i had a social life
>just the weird funny guy that makes people laugh but hardly laugh or even smile myself and I'm an aloof asshole so no one wants anything to do with me, i'm surely just the joke all the time
>too insecure about not ever having had the slightest romantic experience and my humiliating worthless life to even try to get a girl or make friends
>have pathetic job because i cant get into grad school and no idea what to do
>have driver's license but too scared to drive so I just bike and rideshare/subway everywhere
>parents rightfully kicking me out of the house and while i hate living with them the thought of living with other people and them seeing my "life" terrifies me
>have no motivation or hope for life to improve even a shred so i just do nothing ever

I am exactly like you but I'm 22. I did fuck and have a gf from 18 to 20 until my dad died and my only friend and gf left me.

I am completely isolated in my room and I've gone weeks literally not talking to anyone, not my mom, not a cashier at the grocery store, not a discord message.

It specially reminded me of myself with the driving, I am exactly the same. I had a job before and I had to drive but now I just avoid it like the plague.

Idk just how similar we are, but you got a job so that's something, I'm a NEET.

I recommend you to look into nursing school, once I get my bachelorette I'm gonna move back to the US and go to community college in whatever state is cheaper to get an ADN.

It's 2 years of studying and you get a high paying job that will actually make you a respectable person. 3 work days, lots of flexibility and different areas, bright future, easy to go up in the chain and continue studying.

You literally will be able to get a job ANYWHERE and make 60k fresh out of community college. You can potentially make up to 500k if you continue your education.

I only lift for aesthetics and use google keep so I don't care enough for this.

I did it. Avoiding death is pretty easy when they herd together.
The 24/7 festival and the run is a pretty great time.