Wake up fine

>wake up fine
>want to kill myself before bed

What lift helps this? It happens almost every night and it's dragging me down

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more volume
when you get to the end of the night you should be so tired you can't stay awake.

The Jesus lift.
Turn those bible pages and sing some prayers.

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What if this is a trial from God?

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It may be brother.
He does test us, but so does the devil, persevere to the end.

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I’m the same way OP. I think its due to my lack of discipline. It makes me feel like I don’t have control of my own life. I really just need to push away instant gratification so I can achieve the feeling of having some control.

>Jow Forums is unironically a Christian website now

Best timeline

everyone does this. youre not special

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i feel like i want to die at all times except when lifting, showering, or eating.

weed, the best anti-depression med

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blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness Matthew 5:6

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Based this plus prayer time

Thanks brother

Try st johns wort

Look on the bright side, at least you're not:
>wake up wanting to kill myself
>want to kill myself before bed

Trust in God is the "only" thing keeping me going at this point.

Need to achieve something new or progress in something everyday, the day needs to feel useful.

Jow Forums is a Christian board

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>go to bed motivated as fuck to do things I need to do
>next morning, motivation is completely gone and I don't want to do anything

Why? Do I have sleep issues?

I like drinking coffee on an empty stomach in the mornings, but if I drink it later in the day I'll start thinking really negatively due to anxiety and totally want to die

or Ill think Im dying, or that I should die.

think it's my bodys way of getting me to work

Based.

You got issues all right, it's called being human and taking the path of least resistance (i.e. being lazy and doing the bare minimum) can be awfully appealing

But why am I motivated as fuck at night but not after I'm rested?

Because nighttime you are about to enter a dream and after you wakeup you reenter the harsh reality that getting shit done unpleasantly requires actual effort

Threadly reminder to do research before even trying st johns wort because of the risk of cataracts