/britfeel/

nice typo nobface
BANTS

>cant transfer songs from my ipod onto my new laptop
shite

fucking doubt it
this is the first chance I've ever properly had

no I MISSED the chance, thats why

It was deliberate flap features

Nice Wednesday night lads

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*doesn't beIieve you*

Tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
Right in the moment this order's tall

think im getting some boi pussy lads

Imagine being a hooker whose specialization was popping virginboi's cherries.

The amount of crying.

you think lads cry when they lose their virginity

show us yer arse and we'll let you know
how does it feel? wider than usual? could be a sign

I wish I could even hold hands with someone
leaf the virgins alone they just want to be loved

I really recommend you lads get yourselves a sleigh bed. It's so comfy pretending you're on a boat.

The French call them lit bateau. It means boat bed.

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I'd think some 30yo virgin would probably cry, yes.

nah lad you're just gonna have another gay wank

what would the experience be like?

Don't even care about sex anymore. All I want is a girl to cuddle with. How do people achieve this so easily.

How are you a virgin you're too much of a cutie. Go out there and talk to girls it's not that hard.

prolapsed
its easy just be chad

Doesn't it hurt when you pop your banjo string?

I'd cry.

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>Go out there and talk to girls it's not that hard.
can you fuckers stop saying this because its not even true

yep you've got a boipucci
what you gonna call it?

do not nut december my nigga

No idea pol, 's why I'm speculating.

I used to ask lads on here what being loved felt like but I can't even imagine it now.
ok I will b myself
kill me

>sleeping with nine people
>not having at least double digits

no because it makes yer dick twice as big when the new 1 grows

Hopping to the toilet and I slip and put my weight on my ankle and throw up, this sucks. Why make ankles so fragile if they're so important.

>janny deleted the chad post
I LOVE YOU JANNY

Proving his point a bit there lad.

why haven't you bought a space hopper to bounce around on?

I should keep crutches in my house really.

what aiIs you?

literally nothing wrong with that post. Not banworthy.

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It's really not hard. Just keep asking her questions and be interested in her answers. Make sure to make eye contact and laugh and you'll be fine. If you can make her laugh by being a cutie then you've won her heart

Are we going to have to get one of them blue curtains and lad with a flat cap and a shotgun?

What's ails?

Going to sleep in my sleigh bed. I can hear the waves calling.

Night lads.

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Why you ill lad?

>tired as all unholy fuck
>can't go to bed without ziggeh

The verb ail means to be sick or unwell or cause to be so. If you feel a general malaise, someone may ask what ails you
what's up wiv ya?

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Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassieres
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

I really like my carpentry job, I create shelter for people. It's such a primal job. Many other animals make shelter for themselves too. It's almost hardwired into all animals to make/find shelter.

Imagine your job was to breath, eat and sleep. That's what building shelter is almost like. Comes so naturally and the accomplishment I feel is almost reward enough, but I have a mouth to feed so the 30k plus a year isnt a bad bonus.

I am blessed, thank you

tfw no gf tho still

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feel like shit. I have not been able to work out because i feel too depressed.

Just some food would be nice, tomorrow would be my 3rd day without food and I just run out of water.

Fell on my ankle and it made a snapping noise, then had to walk home on it which was the most agonising thing. Then crawled into bed and am waiting to see if it's just sprained or dislocated.

>Ctrl+F
>no ziggeh
And here I thought you just weren't paying attention

Does Zeus have all his teeth?

ARE WE HUMAN
OR ARE WE DANCER
MY BUM IS VITAL
MY ARSE IS SURE

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He was talking about his teeth on the radio. He has false teeth and has to get all his food blended.

Why don't you have any food you daftie?

well done lad, you should be proud.
>have a mouth to feed
who lad? is it mummy?
from my expirience the boy is all bark and no bite
I have no social life and I can barely make eye contact with a girl withough having hours worth of anxiety an flashbacks afterward. You reek of happiness.

>short
>bald
>skinny
>norfer
>no teeth
>chav

He's been on Jeremy Kyle, I'm sure of it.

tfw cant be arsed to pull the sofa bed out

I have some food in the kitchen but it's not easy to get there, and then get the food. It was so much grimacing just to get to the bathroom.

lmao Zeus larping as a chav, bet he's never been on a copper graft

wasted money on an e-cig tbqh, the coils keep getting full of juice and doing that bubbling thing, looks like im packing in smoking old school

Anyone else got a cold?

hypothetically, if I was fired from my job next month what would I do? I have a degree, but it isn't worth much. are benefits an option or am I going to end up on the street?

youtube.com/watch?v=0zBCLb4zM-I
came on the radio when i first held my niece the day she was born
i cried
it's come on youtube on a reccomendation
i'm crying now
love that lil bugger more than she'll ever know

How much do you get fined if a copper catches you with a spliff

Ah, eat loads and get massively fat

I can speak to girls fine ask them stuff, best way because they love to speak about themselves. Ultimately it's pointless. I'm ugly and therefore am never looked at as a sex object or potential partner.

depends on the copper, I reckon

Just sneezed all over my screen so yeah, probably.

didn't see my nephew til he was 1. don't really care for family. don't get it.

the spliff

If you are a single male then you will be homeless as you aren't considered at risk. All the help is given to women and children. Remember bud you have a penis so you are from birth of less value than other humans.

I'm not happy at all but a date like that would make me happy

I don't get people that blub over their own kids, let alone someone elses.

lmao you don't get fined

they take the joint and stomp on it then let you go about on your day

na night ziggeh, see ya in the mornin' pal 195

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Ah it doesn't look so bad now, most of the swelling has gone down but the pain is still unbearable.

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ayy finally
tired lads begone to your comfort

i'm like that with bants

What is your housing situation mate?

you should draw a face on it

looks like ill have to laddo, time to become a /biglad/

'pends on the copper

they might just tell you to shift and not smoke out in the open
they might take it off you and bin it or they might give you a warning ticket

what've you covered up? what doxxable info is on your footspa?

fug, that is not good
I rent a flat, but if I loose my job I have a few months of rent money left then I am fucked. Got 500 bong in a deposit so that is something I suppose

I saw an absolutely cool/cute as fuck girl earlier when I was going past the vape shop. That's all I have to say really

tfw im the unfortunate mate who is socially awkward, bad at talking to people in general (let alone girls, although I've fucked a few), the poor one and the one who has absolutely no confidence but will do absolutely anything whatsoever

fucking shite innit, no birds give me any attention cos they're all just interested in money nowadays

the chat logs have been leaked. simply epic

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46460442

still sat here seething about walking out of a chance to lose my virginity, she liked me and everything. Probably got one of her chad friends to come around and fuck her.
I cant see myself getting another chance to fuck a girl.

You rent a flat?
You will be eligible for JSA + housing benefit or Universal Credit.
You will receive money for your rent. How much is your rent? 500 quid? I believe there's a cap but it should cover that.

where are your frens?
where are your frens?
WHAT WHERE ARE MY FRENS?
youtube.com/watch?v=o6EFg5eWWlM

>admits he has no confidence and is shit at talking to women
>still blames them for being gold diggers when there are plenty of poor lads who get pussy

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>ziggehposter for /britfeel/ Personality of the Year

nah'night anons x

was looking to join this

probably for the best i didn't eh

thank fuck for that, yeah my rent is about 500 a month. how do I even go about claiming that? job centre?