/r9gay/ - #529

Len edition

Last thread:

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woah, that's a big banana

I've spent the evening touching my cock to porn instead of doing anything fun or productive. I haven't even came.

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>tfw no fighting game bf
how is this fair

I fell in love with my bi friend, but I don't think he's interested, why is little friend such suffering!?!?

That meant to say why is life such suffering, FUCK. He was my first kiss REEEEEEEEeEzrEEe

best shota blown the fuck out

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Since i have no irl friends or anyone to talk to for that matter i gonna let you guys know i got into a fist figh twith some random drunk guy i won by a inch have you every got into a fist fight r9gay?

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Smash ultimate coming soon

nope i haven't, are you ok user?

>tfw no carnivore bf
reee

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Yeah im good just a bit swollen on my leg

Nice to hear you're alright try and ice you leg should help with the swelling

Give me virginia bf
Maybe I dont deserve you but you sure as hell dont deserve me, make it work nig nog uwu
BlazeXM#7487

Even the thought of a physical confrontation almost gives me a panic attack.

I wish I wasn't such a stereotypical soiboy faggot.

I want a bf more attractive than me so they can help me improve my appearance.

Almost kidding, in reality I'm scared of big commitments

tfw nobody to play it with on release

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The current contactfags are nowhere near as cool as the old ones. I'd take 100 Sil's over vafag and pafag just due to him having been more interesting. You people don't do anything

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What people are you talking about?

>can't make time for me
>can make time for others
>talks to people he hasn't in forever just to not talk to me
Don't see the point

Sil is just insane lmao, that's why he's interesting

>tfw still no short scandi bf

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be the change you want, gay user

my unranked dota games have started being very high skill, what does this mean anons?

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It's the difference between benign and malignant tumors. The new ones are harmless, the ones you're talking about were fucking cancer.

i was looking through my old photos on my phone and came across that time when i carved my online friend's name into my side with a razor
who here /edgy/?

was it that fag from the tranny discord?

>tfw carved pickle rick into my thigh

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no, it was someone from a kik group when i was a bit younger

Cutting? You aren't an easily manipulated tranny are you?

no, just an edgy faggot doing edgy things to see people shocked/pleased

I guess he's a poor example but it was the first name that I though of that was pre-juan. I don't like Sil or any of the old discordfags by any means but they had personality and occasionally sometimes contributed to the thread sort of when they weren't completely shitting it up
I've made the attempt before. Its like herding cats.
The new ones aren't malignant. Everybody is a contactfag now, not everybody spams their discord in every thread like those two but its quite literally impossible to actually have a conversation here without it ending in "So whats your discord? lol". Before if you asked for discord or email the entire thread would erupt in rage and you'd get thrown out and that went double for people who posted nudes or took on trips. I'm quite sure that now if I took on a trip and started acting nice enough I'd have piles of fags sucking my dick every time I showed up. The new ones aren't harmless because now everything ends in contactfaggery and desperate attempts to turn each other into bf material. Nobody wanted to be juan or sil or nap, now people don't really even mind virginiafag and might be willing to become them if it meant getting a bf

Someone that makes one post per thread saying "tfw no bf" is infinitely better than a juan or nap spamming constantly with shitposts. There's a reason our guardian angels culled those retards.

im one of the contact fags, i contribute to the thread other than my occasional post
of course im anonymous when posting, so you don't know its me

think you'd be the one reciving the fists, if ya catch my drift ;)

it doesn't meany anything. people flexed about that stuff back in 2014.

Anyone else get that feeling of dread and overwhelming sadness when they think about the fact that they'll probably never get a bf?

I just ignore it and tell myself that there's *no way* I won't be able to find one

>be me
>skinny, short, weak-ass motherfucker, never felt too much of a man desu
>afraid of many things girls are afraid of, like bugs and snakes
>somehow managed to get a girlfriend (male)
>this summer we spent most days doing nothing at all, just playing vidya and fucking, without even bothering to get dressed
>one night I hear rustling outside
>oh god no, it'll be some creepy animal
>look at my gf
>never seen a biggest sissy in my entire life, disgust engulfs
>seeing such a pathetic weakling give me courage, I barge in the backyard and head towards the garbage bins where the noise was coming from
>gf stays on the doorstep looking worried, irritates me more
>I lift a bin and this were-raccoon comes out of it, scratches or bites me I don't really have time to tell which, and charges towards my now-shrieking sorry excuse for a woman
>oh no you don't, not my faguette
>charge and manage to grab the fucker behind his head, smash its head against the wall with all the strength I can muster, repeatedly
>gf whimpers "user, stop", almost crying already
>as I look at him I feel a hot, wet liquid dribbling down my now relaxed arm
>look down, it's the raccoon's blood and possibly brain
>for some reason my dick is diamonds
>without saying a word, I drop the raccoon and take my gf there on the doorstep
>as I hatefuck him I smear blood all over his face and force him to lick my bloodied fingers clean
>soon as I cum in him, I push him to the side like a discarded toy and head back inside
>as I grab some whiskey and ice, I can hear my gf finishing himself off
>after like 5 minutes he comes back inside, rests his head on my lap and says he had never fucked with a real man before
>I look at him with contempt, abruptly get up from my desk making him hit his head on it, and kick him for good measure
>grab a smoke and go for a walk slamming the door so hard it comes off the hinges

Is this what being a real man feels like r9fags?

I want a bf who doesn't immediately ghost me

Too bad I have a shit personality

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at least you have a personality. I'm a stereotypical no-interests fem gay

>tfw no bf to ramble about my crypto investment to

>tfw no bf to ramble about my crypto investment to
Crypto is over

place your bets

spoiler, ill lose

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I choose to believe in ya anyway good luck

Dazzle MVP

It was sort of brave how you protected them from the raccoon but everything after that seems like a piece of shit move, honestly.

>tfw no fortnite bf

Im sorry but I think you are too young to post in this thread.

Does anyone else feel insecure about how small their wrists are? I can wrap my hand around them with quite a bit of room to spare

No, I'm pretty happy about it. I like being small.

You know i used to be able to do that with every finger but my pinky, but now my middle finger can even make it around feels pretty nice

not that hot tbdesu, raccoon killing just doesn't do it for me

I don't know why I act like that, I don't like it but I can't help it. Gf likes it and never said the abuse safe word tho

I just did it with my pinky and it barely makes it.
>No, I'm pretty happy about it. I like being small.
I like being small too, the only problem is I am a bit tall. At 5"11

My pink makes it with room to spare
I'm 173cm. I don't know if that's tall or not, though.

Pinky* Apparently my index finger can't make it to the y key, though

middle cant even make it I meant

Guys, I really need an ohio bf right now

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>173cm
thats 5"6 in the states. I am 180.34

>still haven't found my minecraft bf
is there no end to this torment

what pack, what serb

You'll get nothing and like it, you litte cum chugging seimen demon.

not playing on a modded server but I started playing on Jow Forumscraft because another user suggested it. Everyone there seems really nice.
If you're asking what mod pack I like, I like the direwolf20 ftb mod pack. I used to be really into tekkit as well.

Don't put that bad juju on me

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>Still no cute ffxiv bf

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Sorry user i dont have any money to pay for sub.

we won both safelane and offlane pretty hard, i guess the zeus drew mid against the sniper?
but the sniper ended up being mega farmed by 25min and just cut right through us
also dazzle toxic towards the jugg and zeus

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>thread dies at night
>burgers literally cannot carry it even though they are 47% of the sites userbase

I am profoundly sorry on behalf of our people

Who /iowa/ here? Need cute bf to cuddle under the blankets with this winter :3

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Not /iowa/, but /minnesota/ instead.

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I wish there were more midwest anons here.

Where do you live in Minnesota? I used to go out to Minneapolis every other weekend for your music scene but I can't afford that anymore :(

>Where do you live in Minnesota?
Literally right between St. Paul and Minneapolis

Nice casino trips

my friend comes online at night so that's where I am at

Middletown guy here, still no bf.

>tfw no hot sauce bf

>tfw no bf who knows me intimately and wants to spend his life with me

We maintain the thread during the day and the rest of you are supposed to keep it up at night. We can't be up 24/7 because europoors and every other brand of retard can't do the same.

>tfw it's nearly 5 AM and I'm still posting
Life is pain

I can be your cute ffxiv bf
been playing since 2.0 beta launch

Tfw no bf to like cute shotas with me

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I like cute shotas but I am not in the mood for a bf

What server are you on user? I doubt we're both on Chaos

on primal at the moment sorry but I love chatting about the game. I have absurds amount of time in it even being gone a year

I found my green text on r/greentext. I feel ashamed of myself that something I made was posted somewhere else. I feel violated and enraged.

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>tfw no bf to adopt a qt shota with and love and raise him as our child, if he is gay that's fine but also love him even if he becomes a chad pussy slayer

I saw your thread. You type like an underageb&

What greentext? Post it

I've been playing since about patch 3.3/3.4, somehow haven't made many real friends on the game though

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Seeing it on Reddit almost made me cry because I used one of my rare pepes

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We don't have to be bfs but we can enjoy them mutually!

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>Can't get smashed and browse /r9gay/ because I stopped drinking to try to cut body fat
This sucks.

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What do you mean? Smash comes out on Friday. I know I will brows /r9gay/ and smash!

>tfw crush will never love me
I just want to give him endless hugs :(

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Drink vodka and cut out any refined sugars in your diet, and you should be mostly okay

I did this and gained 50lbs.

How much were you drinking, what was your diet like, how active were you daily, how tall are you, and how much did you weigh beforehand?

>50lbs
what the fuck!? Were you doing nothing but drinking vodka?