>get invited to lunch with new coworkers >I end up barely saying a word because I lack social skills >never get invited by them again >Repeat with any new coworkers that don't know I'm autistic >See them all chatting together on our workplace Skype, getting coffee and lunch together, hear about them hanging out outside of work How do I end this pain and become more social and good at conversations?
>tfw no friends >spend free time on computer or home gym (not like I have friends to do things with) What am I supposed to do instead? Literally just wasting away my life. ;_;
look dude, cant tell if youre bullshitting but heres what to do if youre not. This may shock you... but go outside. be around people even if you're not chatting. One day. go to a mall and chat about product a product at a store you like or something. then talk to a random person outside the store you were at. just find something to talk about something with someone. even if its just a hey, how you doing? the worst thing you can do i continue to stay in this rut you're in. and also pick up a group hobby. ultimate frisbee or something? IDK. ive lost interest in my own post at this point.
ive been having situations like this since i was a kid. tried a lot of stuff to improve my mindset. still blow it hard in real socializing. sometimes i wonder if i was born to be an outcast
Noah Russell
I do lift, hasn't helped
Just start talking with a stranger and ask how they are doing?
Why would they talk to me? Especially when they are probably busy, meeting a friend, have to run errands, etc. Usually people in public are with a friend or texting on their phone too. And if I try talking to a grill, they will think I'm a creep
No, working with two coworkers now. They just met a week ago and have each other's phone numbers and social media. Exchanged them while I was in the same room too. I have zero numbers from coworkers and don't have any social media accounts
I do the same op, because I separate work relations from personal relationships. I don't them to intertwine.
Jack Harris
idk about you but i go to work for $$ and not sociality. like i rather be social with customers/clients from work rather than those i actually work with
Connor Parker
You and I are in the same boat, OP. I even have coworkers say they'd love to hang out with me yet they routinely plan events together and I'm never invited.
At some point you just have to say fuck it and realize they're not worth you're time, they're your coworkers and nothing more.
Ryan Cook
>Why would they talk to me? Especially when they are probably busy, meeting a friend, have to run errands, etc. Usually people in public are with a friend or texting on their phone too. And if I try talking to a grill, they will think I'm a creep Homie, how do you think people do this irl? How do you think conmen learn how to do it? Or as cringy as they are, pickup artists or anyone who's job relies on approaching people? You have to practice and be willing to fail and for some situations to go wrong. There is no fundamental difference between you and a charismatic person.
Adrian Price
Ask coworkers if they mind you joining them. If they arent asshats they will let you. Try to talk about something that brought you joy in the last few days if nothing comes up or just listen closely and ask questions ( can be trivial shit, better you come of dumb than not interested) or bring a similiar story or memory in that you have.
You are looking for excuses to stay alone. I know its outside of your comfort zone, but try the advice this user has posted: Was in the same boat and on bad days i still fall back in isolation mode, but you can change if you keep trying and step over your shadow. We are all gonna make it
Jacob Diaz
My concern with my post is that I have no friends.
People here make work friends, some who they hang out with just at work, some who they hang out with outside of work. I have neither.
>Overhear coworkers talking about bars and clubs they went to, cottages, etc I have none of that and spend my free time in my room in front of a computer screen
Having a fuckton of friends is overrated. All you need is like 3 people you know you can trust and share your hobbies.
Nolan Diaz
>tfw trouble starting conversations and creating sentences because of the language I must use not being my primary one which limits me to having a limited set of words to use
Andrew Wood
Thanks
Thank you, though I never know what to say in conversations Even as you mention talking about something that brought me joy. I can't think of anything really. Pretty much dissatisfied with everything. But even if I said I ate some enjoyable food, I wouldn't know how to segue that into a conversation or build upon it
look i don't want to sound like billy mcfarland but it sounds like your problem orientated and not focused on solutions. what are your hobbies, do you lift in a busy gym? there are always opportunities to meet people in any moment, all you need to do is say hi and smile and if you don't get along there r so many other people on this earth anyway who cares
Alexander Cook
You talk to random people until you find one that you like/ they like you. You can tell
Levi Gomez
This. Do your own thing. Chances are they are not interesting. You are not missing out. I realize this might come off as coping, but I do okay. Men don't need a large social circle - develop yourself, and all the people you need will come to you.
* I strongly dislike most people and the older I get the less tolerance I have. Discrimination is actually the highest virtue - cultivation of it, clears the road for excellence.
Landon Thompson
Thanks, I don't have hobbies, tried salsa dancing for a while. But didn't make any friends. Part of it is that I lack social skills. I have a home gym too
>Path of the Nomad. People are just optional at this point. Whether it's my inability to synchronize with social groups or just plain incompatible with people around me, it doesn't matter. It's an optional thing with people who genuinely don't really care about you.
That's how I cope/ begun to realize.
Robert Rogers
Thanks, trying to develop myself. But if I don't have social skills, I won't get any friends or even a gf
people on here have this delusional idea that "dude just talk to people and you'll make friends". it is nearly impossible to make friends when you have none. its one thing if you had friends but move somewhere that you dont have any for work or something because at least you have the confidence that you know how to make them. normal people will not take well to a guy doing social activities alone, and women definitely wont. and even if you do manage to meet some people alone, when they see you have no friends outside of them they will realize you're a loser and ditch you for that too as will women. lose-lose situation that ive dealt with most my life
Dylan Jones
This. It's like how it takes money to make money. If you have nothing to start off with, you're fucked. Same with social circles.
Best you can do is move somewhere and act like being new to an area is the reason you know nobody, and try to use that as an in to hang out with new people
Connor Martin
>Best you can do is move somewhere and act like being new to an area is the reason you know nobody, and try to use that as an in to hang out with new people yeah but then you have the issue of no confidence from previously having no friends, and just a general inability to relate to people
Camden Smith
Why do us losers have such high quality taste in women? My thought is that we spend so much time by ourselves in our own thoughts that we can imagine the perfect ideal female body.
