Jow Forums Mental Health Thread

The usual, but I`m getting kinda comfortable in the apathy. Viewing murphys law as the most reliable principle in our world sets your expectations to manageable level.

Attached: Bojack nothing.jpg (630x630, 83K)

Meditation is the training of the mind and psychic abilities.

Join the Chamber of Light if you want to train your psypowers.

DizzyC0rd : BKJC8ss

Attached: theEmpress.gif (225x534, 107K)

I think it is cute desu.

probably gonna kill myself in the next few years

>years
what are you waiting for faggot

I feel like im on autopilot. Everything is going good but time doesnt matter anymore. I dont care what day, week or month we have everything feels the same.

Even drugs and alcohol can get me out of this. Its not even that im sad or unhappy its just all so fucking clear, structured, safe and so incredible boring.

>wake up
>go to gym
>go to work
>come home
>Jow Forums, youtube, netflix, porn
>sleep
>repeat

That has been my life for the last 3 years and will stay the same for another 40 years. Great.

Attached: 1528829836518.gif (494x332, 79K)

How do I avoid being like pic related? I wanna be Jow Forums and masculine but not cringey.

Attached: 1551384724993.jpg (2232x2232, 3.06M)

gonna try to change up my lifestyle a few more times to see if anything can make me happy
i genuinely despise the way my life is playing out, so i'm doing everything within my power to change that, but if my efforts are futile i simply refuse to spend the rest of my life miserable senpai
wish me luck :-)

good luck user, were all going to make it.

Hahahaha

Psy powers

What a meme

just ordered shitty food , again

2 days off because i wanted to get a clear head but ha, seems like that isn't going to happen anytime soon

[spoiler]depressed idiot because of the ex-gf here[/spoiler]

travel
date girls
gain some hobbies
work towards a meaningful career

The user who drank too much alcohol, fapped a couple of metres away from a girl and came in her underwear in the bathroom here
Mental state is fucked, somehow, thinking about my Ex and how much fun she's probably having now and generally am too hard on myself.

Also have not looked at my phone for over 30hrs now, too scared

based answer

Pretty average rn my dudes. Got a good job opportunity lined up but I have to stick the old one out for the rest of the year.
>now that I've decided not to stay
>I can feel me start to fade away
Also my bro is in hospital with a jacked up knee. Feels bad, I'm gonna be a loner in the gym for a couple months.

You'll never do it then.
Nut up, get it done!

What the fuck, isn't it just an disinfectant? Are you by any chance just high on placebo?

Get friends

How do I nicely ask my dad if he has a drinking problem?
Like 2 months ago I found a huge bottle of whiskey in his office, when I came back like 10 days later it was gone and there was a new one in our kitchen pantry, and this has repeated each time I've been home since then. In retrospect I remember him with a bright red face some nights the past year but I thought he was just stressed or sonething. My mom sort of dodged the question when I asked how much he drank

I found a flask and counted about 5 large bottles the past 45 days or so. Really not sure how to feel

Attached: 1550174999078.jpg (280x330, 58K)

Headcase here. Diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and Generalized Anxiety that is mostly social. Take lexapro. Just recently started taking CBD oil and it really nerfs anxiety. I never realized that my brain runs at a million miles a minute until I started taking the CBD. I used to think everyone is constantly jumping from thought to thought with no break from morning until night. Apparently that’s not normal to have so much noise in your head

I'm on spring break right now and in a different state. I'm not procrastinating I swear lol

I'm really glad how this thread is turning out. I think it's nice to share thoughts and that other anons have had experiences which we can learn from.

Met my onetis after not seeing her for like four years. I'm in big trouble, it's all coming back. I want to have a drink again, I want to do drugs again. I want her, I want to comfort eat. This is bullshit, I've dealt with all this years ago.

My life is going pretty well but I still struggle with nihilism. I know it's a dead end and a terrible way to look at life, but I can't logically defend any other worldview. Someone please convince me that objective meaning exists in life. I won't try and blackpill anyone else, I just want to escape this. I'm not satisfied with copout logic like "just make up your own meaning". There has to be a better way to live.

Did I got scammed or what? Took 1,5 gr of phenibut and 3gr of Kratom and I don't feel anything

I'm angry.

Angry about Jews.

shoot up a synagogue

Only Jews do that unfortunately

Temp agencies are goat for supplemental income

At first, I felt lonely about how only one other non-familial person actually wished me a happy birthday today. I was planning on having a quiet birthday and treat it like any other day. Then I realized, if I was gonna treat today like any other day, I shouldn't expect anything out of today, just like any other day. Made me feel a lot better.

How long has it been? Where did you get the phenibut?

I'm getting more and more superstitious. I think I might've caught faith.

If you're fit you wont be doing most of that

>don't have siblings growing up
>no cousins either
>mom is ER doc who was either at work or asleep
>dad was an unemployed alcoholic with bp who couldn't handle the pressure of raising a child and tried to kill himself when I was 4
>aunt and uncle are around but have their own lives and don't necessarily want to spend time with me
>grandparents are nice but they're very demented and usually forget who I am every so often
>never really made any friends, people at school/work/extra-circulars are sometimes friendly with me but there's no real connection/relationship
>only ever had a few incidents with bullying
>get to university
>same thing as before, maybe even less interaction since I only hear from my mom like once a month now
>still try to get involved in activities on campus
>some work for education/career but none really help with the lack of social interaction
>eventually take a class in a subject I'd fall in love with
>professor was amazing, genuinely one of the nicest people I've ever met and the first person to actually encourage me within this subject
>end of last year ask her if she'd be willing to mentor me
>she agrees
>this year tell her about all of my social problems and ask if she can give me any advice on what to do
>she shares some of her own experience and helps me get into counseling with the university
>continue meeting each week
>talk about many things, some personal, some academic and career related
>eventually let it slip that I consider her a friend
>she's really uncomfortable with that
>says that it's inappropriate for her to have that type of relationship with a student
>okay, felt shitty about this, but she's still letting me meet with her on a weekly basis and helping me so okay
>something is off
>doesn't explore academic topics like her research
>try more personal topics like asking her about hobbies and stuff
>she considers that inappropriate
>say goodbye for winter break, go full on sperg and ask if we can hug
(1/?)

Took 1 gr of phenibut 3 hours ago + 500 mg 2 hours after. I bought it from a site called Vitalio.nl. And I took 3gr of white kratom 1 hour ago.

Worry about yourself

Just take MDMA, like a normal person. Jesus.

Fuck mdma depressing shit after it`s few warm hours.

Yeah, I know. I took it over a week ago and even though the physical effect's worn off, I'm still feeling down.

I want to go out and hit on girls and no one is taking this kind of drugs where I go. Mdma will make me look like a freak to them. Phenibut + kratom looked like a nice alternative and for now it's shit.

>I want to go out and hit on girls
On a Monday? And that's what cocaine is for, mate.

Cocaine is shit. I'm a student in a student city. It's party everyday.

Speed, I guess. And no, cocaine is not shit. It's awesome. Expensive, but awesome.

I'm not a big fan. It wears off too fast and it's not euphoric enough. Mdma > Cocaine by far.

The girl I was dating and loved left me a month ago because she didn't want to date anyone since she was too depressed. We hadn't spoken for a month and now that I was hospitalized for my kidneys she reached out to me. I want to cry I don't want to get dragged into this depression even though I miss her dearly

Attached: 1482784651893.jpg (720x960, 190K)

They're different. I'd never do MDMA in a public place, only in a comfy house party environment. Or a dorm. I recently found out how cool molly parties in a dorm are. You're a student, you can totally do that.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I'll probably never be able to box in the amateurs even though that's what I really wanna do.

Attached: 1510723918745.jpg (506x960, 30K)

i also had to end it with my ex after seeing her again for the last 2 months

Why does she still care about me? If I heard my previous ex was in the hospital I really wouldn't care

>final year, final semester of undergrad in engineering
>hate the degree, hate the work, hate most of the work the program would be funneling you into except safety or r&d stuff
>school is good for engineering, have high GPA, did research program last summer, involved in on campus research and student orgs during school year
>not remotely any luck finding a job
>engineering job fair rolls around
>somehow land an interview with dream job at nationally prestigious firm
>somehow do fucking fantastic in the interview, ends with one of the interviewers asking me "so what will it take to get you working with us", they talk about how much they need to hire a lot of people, feel like I aced it
>hear later that 3 of my classmates who have lower GPAs, one of who didn't even do anything academic or work related over the summer, got the same fucking job
I can't get over this, I feel like I'm never going to get something unless I go into the oil field or soulcrushing meaningless work like working in a fucking diaper or chip factory, I can't find a way out that results in me working in something that makes a positive difference in the world. I feel hopeless and despondent. Starting antidepressants semi-recently isn't helping at all. It also feels like it's all worthless, that I've slaved away at this engineering shit for years for no pay-off or worse, to be a wagecuck. I should have gone to school for something I was interested in but I was a fucking idiot and thought out of high school I had a moral obligation to go into a field I had aptitude for. What an idiot I am.

It's good of her to reach out. Hope your health is ok, buddy.
Regarding the depression breakups- that's a very serious thing. Is she clinical? On meds? I've seen clinically depressed people drop their meds and cocoon themselves for years. And you can't help them.

Girls are into control

>I really wouldn't care
Why the fuck not? What's wrong with you, jesus.

Well in a way that I wouldn't reach out to her. Bitch ghosted me constantly and then started dating someone else without telling me

No one loves me or cares about me and that's very hard for me to deal with even though I know it's for the best that I'm forgotten. I've had many friends and girlfriends and I've ruined them all.

Before you think I'm truly retarded (I am, but not because of this), in my defense I will say that plenty of professors at my school have no problem hugging students.

>actually seems less upset about this than the friend thing
>says not usually
>go home
>spend most of break alone, spend a day with aunt and uncle, spend a few with mom, visit grandparents
>pick up a gift for professor
>it's a thermos with a beautiful design that relates to the subject and some tea
>planned on getting something for a few other professors who were writing me letters for med school but felt she deserved something a bit nicer
>use rest of break to finish up some application essays, send rough drafts for two of these essays to mentor because she had offered to review them
>get back, give her gift
>we need to talk
>apparently after she read the essay prompt I had sent her she realized that she didn't know what she was doing when it came to writing letters of recommendation for med school
>had still agreed to write mine and about a dozen others
>asked me for help
>tell her she should talk to another professor who oversees many of these applications whom she has previously called a mentor
>also she's taken on another class and we can't meet as frequently anymore
>now only one meeting a month but for a longer period of time
>okay, still see her about twice a day anyways due to how our schedules line up
>flash forward to our January meeting
>we need to talk
>turns out after talking to the other professor she learned what was expected of her and she decided that she needed to mention that I violated her personal boundaries because of the friend thing and personal questions
>worried it will make my application look bad and wants me to find someone else to write a letter of rec
>wtf, get really upset by this and we go back and forth for a bit talking about what to do
>eventually makes me choose between continuing meeting with her and writing letter
(2/?)

Same for 4 fucking years, at least I've been unfucking my shit slowly lately. Got a new job, got back to my old gymroutines. No real idea what fucked me up to begin with but don't loose hope bro. Doesn't matter how long it's been, you can always unfuck your shit.

She got out of a shitty 2-year relationship before me so I don't entirely blame her, but it might be meme depression I don't know. I'm clinical but I deal with it. She def has issues tho. I might be dying anyway so rip my gains

>struggle with mental health issues since forever
>first depressive episode at 17
>31 now (inb4 boomer)
>married since last year
>wife is talking about kids
>university took me 10 years to complete
>masters degree took me from 2011 until 2017
>two depressive episodes during that time, 6 months of hospital
>still in education (2 year trainee program)
>finding joy in work
>go along well with coworkers
>forge new friendships
>go to gym 3 times a week

Everything should be fine, right bros?

>took this week off, fist time since last May that I don't have to work.
>enthusiastic of clearing out old kitchen
>bought new one, gets delivered in April

Since Saturday I'm not doing anything, just sitting on the sofa and reading Jow Forums. I ignore all the texts, postpone all plans, ignore all obligations. I'm in miserable mood constantly.

How can I ever live a responsible life?

It's a person you were close to. If you find out they're having health problems, yes, you fucking reach out. Didn't your parents teach you that? Health issues trump menial social bullshit.
You don't have to rush to the hospital with flowers and oranges, but you reach out, ask if they're fine and ask if there's anything you can help with. It's a polite thing to do. Damn kids these days.

There's always someone.

Take. Your. Meds.

I'm used to having people not give a shit about me alright, I thought things were over between us and the last thing I want is her pity

Damn, nigga. If you're a real goner, do something cool. At least a flip off a scyscraper or something. Don't die in a hospital bed.

It's not pity, it's just a polite thing to do. Etiquette. Social norms. Even if she doesn't give a fuck, a normal person would reach out.

Yeah I might, I ain't dying like a bitch in bed. Maybe I'll hit my bench pr and then crush my chest

I constantly worry about my relationship with my gf even though things are great.

I've been depressed for a few years now and I don't really feel like a person anymore, but I've gotten used to it. What I still cannot stand is the IBS. Every fucking day, an hour or so after eating, I get this sense of fullness in my upper throat and stomach as if I cannot digest the food I've had, and it seems all I can do is regurgitate it into my mouth, chew it some more, and swallow it again. This lasts 2-3 hours until the feeling goes away, and it's miserable. I went to the ER last year because I was convinced there had to be something very wrong, but all they said was I had mild constipation, which is true. I've been on fiber supplements though and it didn't fix it. This isn't a usual lack of fiber problem anyways. It happens every single meal.

I'm so god damn tired of it.

Well she's the only one who's reached out so far..

always trust ur gut feeling

Aim for the neck. It'll be painfull, but if you crush your windpipe in a gym, they won't save you. And you might be turned into a webm and get posted here.
Oooooh, set your phone to record.

You are insecure. You must realize that you do not need her to live a happy life

I should be great but I'm not feeling good.

IBS is linked with anxiety and depression. Fix the underlying condition

see a psychiatrist for treatment

I don't but it's nice to have her.

I know I'm depressed. I've tried a lot of meds and supplements, but nothing works. In fact, only one drug produced any noticeable effects, but nothing helpful. I almost just want to start drinking so I can feel anything other than this purgatory of sameness. It is really insescribable what it's like when your life is sapped entirely of all color.

>how are things

shit honestly, broke up with my ex not even a month ago and i feel terrible of the break up and what caused it. i rarely feel depressed but damn this is hitting me hard, i feel like i'm slowely losing sanity and that things get worse day by day. i sometimes get ''charged'' with a lot of energy and i just want to smash my head against the wall.

things that keep me sane is lifting honestly, i feel like a normal human being when i lift and that's that. Outside of that i feel terrible, the moment i wake up and think of her, when i'm at work, gym, back home, before i go to sleep.
i tried to meet new women with dating apps but most of them are boring and don't have the same interests as me.

heck, i even tried fucking meeting someone from /soc/ in real life, he's a normalfag but it just put me outside of my comfort zone and that's good for me i guess? at the end of the fucking day it doesn't matter who upset me because i'm responsible for every action, i cannot blame my family, my disorder or my ex.

i try to move on fuck but it's hard i try to meet new people but no success, i used to like being alone but now i fucking hate it, it's killing me.

Attached: 395034859320235.gif (400x269, 1.94M)

>and what caused it
go

what does depression feel like for you?

what do you love about your life?

explain

Do you feel like you are always going out of your way to please her and make her happy?

story why did u breask up

several things, one was how i treated her i guess. she said i didn't care enough for her and let things slip through and not pay enough attention to it. Also some external factors played a huge role to our breakup, mainly home situation with my family.

No, the relationship is great. Nothing's wrong, that's why I feel so dumb being stressed. I guess I'll blame my anxiety for this one.

>she said i didn't care enough for her and let things slip through and not pay enough attention to it
did you try to change that

Psychic, occult, withcraft, etc. Is people who want access to the power of spirituality without the sacrifices of self indulgence and sin. Vipassana, Metta, and Samatha meditation are all you need.

i did actually, but it were small things that i fucked up, for example she was sick and i asked what she wanted, she said ''nothing''. and then few hours later she complained how i didn't cook for her etc, so shit like that. i did try to change it the following months yes.

>she said ''nothing''. and then few hours later she complained how i didn't cook for her etc
fucking hell mate, that's not on you though?
it's her fault for not just opening her mouth you asked her what she wanted, she said nothing, she didn't have a reason to be mad at you mang

>choose her
>eventually come back to this decision and convince her to write the letter as well
>she'll still mention the boundary thing but will specifically say it's because I interacted with her as a friend
>still bullshit since it's her letter and she can put in/omit whatever she wants so she doesn't have to mention this at all
>resolved
>finally think everything is alright nd back to normal
>go back to full on academic topics in our meetings
>2 weeks before February meeting get email
>because of unforeseen circumstances she's taking over another class
>she can't meet with me anymore
>wtf
>email back asking her if we would resume meeting next year or over the summer
>ask if I can say goodbye in person
>ask about hug like a retard
>no response
>eventually try asking her about it in person
>she's very upset, points out that she already doesn't even have the time to eat lunch most days
>offer to bring her lunch a few days a week
>appreciates the thought, but says no
>don't really get the goodbye I wanted, but I think she still cares about at this point and as such I decide I'll give her time
>send email to professor who used to teach the course she's now taking over, it's the same professor from the letter thing
>ask who made this decision?
>don't hear back
>send another email asking for a response because I'm getting more spergy as I try to process this
>still no response
>turns out that professor filed a complaint against me with the department head for three sentences
>freak the fuck out
>apparently when my mentor talked to this professor she mentioned she didn't know what to do about a student who had violated her personal boundaries
>I don't think she ever mentioned how I did so or otherwise we wouldn't even be having this issue
>anyways this professor realized I was the student in question and decided to be weirdly protective
>department head, who also happened to be my mentors PhD advisor because this department is incestuous, is pissed

(3/?)

You know that comfy feel when it's raining outside your window? When you get home and dive face first into your pillow? When you lie down in a warm shower and close your eyes? Imagine if all of that was gone. Or, it was dampened so much that you could only barely feel any reaction, any change in your body away from homeostasis. Imagine if all the food you ate tasted like cardboard, unless you added a fuck ton of sugar to it perhaps just for a brief high. If you had to sustain yourself off fantasies conducted in your head because real life simply doesn't feel right anymore. If the last time you felt a strong emotion in your gut was in 2016, and you remember very well because life since then has been completely and utterly empty, devoid of any feeling.

That's my life now. I complain about the IBS, but that's only part of it. However, the stomach issues are what make my student life really hard, so lately I struggle with them most. But it's a depressing story overall.