Come on user take off your shirt and show us those abs..!! xx

*unzips abs*

I wanna take off my shirt...but I wasn't ready back then, and I don't think you were either ; )

Obv by flexin a cep

because we're clearly not at the beach fuckface

>"heheh, yeah, if some girl asked me that irl I would tell her to put some fucking clothes on, heheh"
>user leans back in his chair, content in his hilarious comment on 4chin
>he looks over at the drawn blinds next to his unkempt bed
>its been almost an hour since his last meal, time to grab something else to eat
>he minimizes the page, can't have mom seeing what websites he visits
>he waddles past his 10 pound weights next to his door
>"i'll lift some tonight, i swear" he promises himself for the 23rd day in a row
>he goes down the stairs one step at a time, ever careful of his gut pulling him down
>at the bottom his parents glance up from the living room couch
>"a-user, nice to see you today, going out with some friends?"
>"not today mom, it's my relaxation day"
>"fucking bitch, asking me what i'm doing, shut the fuck up" he thinks to himself
>in the kitchen he grabs the bag of chicken tenders from the freezer, arranges most of them on a plate, and puts the min the microwave
>"sure they aren't that healthy" he thinks, "but they have protein! i'll start eating better once i really start lifting"
>he pulls the plate of chicken tenders out of the microwave and begins to lumber back to his room
>he passes the unopened container of protein powder, not even giving it a second thought
>back in his room he slams the door and plops down at his computer, already halfway through the plate of tenders
>he reopens Jow Forums and sees that he hasn't actually submitted his post yet
>he sees the girl, far too attractive to even think about him, before he can send the message
>he angrily adds the word "whore" to the end, and presses "post"
>"heh, that'll show her" he thinks, shoveling tenders into his mouth

>that caption
How do you grow such lush grass on a beach?

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i dont take off my shirt because i have zipper abs.

I can't even make eye contact with girls let alone be friends enough with one to have them invite me to a beach party. Even if some miracle happened and I was invited I would decline and make up an excuse to not go because I would be dying inside and sipping my drink off to the side all by myself wearing a t-shirt and jeans whilst chad is over with the girls laughing and smiling with his shirt off basking in the sun to get a tan on his 6 pack.

jesus user. he came here to circlejerk not to get BTFO

Kek

holy FUCKKKKKING shit
if only you knew how accurate that fucking post is, apart from the waddling and the fat belly

Beyond based

My gf tells me to take off my shirt in public all the time, jokingly I think. I tell her no because my body is for her to see only, just like hers is mine. Monogamy is hot. I like knowing other girls don't know I'm ripped and have tattoos, only her.

...

please put me in the screencap

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holy shit please be a pasta

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>lakes don't exist

That's cute and all but never tell her that your body is for her. The best relationships have a grain of constant jealousy. Talk to other girls and shit in front of her.

How does she rate on that autistic 1 to 10 scale? Because I've been told I am handsome and successful enough to score a 6/10 girl and I am really attracted to this one in the picture.

If we're out with her friends and she's had a drink, my girlfriend will usually start unbuttoning my shirt and say how hot I am right in front of them. It's really awkward (especially because I know one of them has a crush on me but hates my gf) and I don't know what to do.

LOL

based unfortunately

7-8, depending on personal preference. Might even be a 9 if she's your niche

put me in the cap lads

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Sure
*takes off shirt and flexes cip

oof

Lmao

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mind if I save this for further usage?

An unfortunate redpill, but a redpill non the less

A perfect blend of literary genius and autism

Five star post, nigga.

Just unfunny. But nice try.

>I don’t know what to do
You know exactly what to do

Should I try to sleep with her friend and then send a video to her friend's bf?

BTFO

“Oh my god brah, so based”. Shut the Fuck up losers

>f-fuck off im bulking to get stronger

>but when you call him fat and autistic, he recoils, he has been found out

Really well made 10/10 would read again

lmao

They do if they like you

>tfw using this to mine lots of (You)s on other boards

Holy shit this is...murder... this is...cruelty

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tell her to stop sucking her belly in

and why did you invite me here? i see no food, no shade, nothing heavy to pick up and put down, do you expect me to burn calories simply for your enjoyment?

i think not, thot. i will now hail a cab and return to my domain, the back table near the bathrooms at the burger king

thots, when will they learn?

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>girls asking you to take your shirt off
>not already having your shirt off
>not looking for any excuse to wear less clothes around women
Im betting 50 chainlinks that OP has never even hugged a girl

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Peace was never an option

is this what autism looks like?

still no response eh?

only if you take off your shirt and show me your tits first

Have quite a few moles and scars. I only take my shirt off in private or if someone is genuinely interested and I trust them.

B-but I don't have any sunscreen on and don't want a sunburn

I love you

BASED

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Will user EVER recover?

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FUCKING NUKED

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>har har har le epick r/Jow Forums screenshot post incomming!

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hahaa

oh god this reminds me of highschool. My onetis invited me to the beach but I only had blue jeans. I still cringe about going into the water in my fucking blue jeans on a crowded public beach.

fuck

good job

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"don't mire too hard ladies"

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>all the buttmad incels

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Reading this post and the replies... Holy autism. Reddit is out in force today.

Kek

Hurt dogs gonna bark at this.

How do you get a girl that looks like this irl?

>linking your own post

>replying with a huge wall of greentext
>to a literal 5 word post

Yikes. We reddit now.

How the fuck did you know

Who needs a six pack when you got a keg?
*rips off shirt revealing hairy fat chest and gut*
*winks at girl*

Lol you pajeets are something else.

Kek

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>beach party
>grass in some yard/park

Beach refers to oceans and seas. Only faggots consider lakes "the beach."

People actually relate to this!?

Not a larp
>Unironically flexed pecs when two roasties said I have big pecs
>They literally squealed
I felt extremely uncomfortable
Am I an actual faggot?

cringe

No, u.

>How do you respond?
Not sure my wife would be happy with that.

Pee on her

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>Yikes

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you based ass mother fucker

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...

Ok *takes off shirt*

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But they don't like me, they see i'm short and they just ignore me

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