Decided to stop smoking weed

FRUIT PECTIN
It essentially binds to the thc-cooh and you shit the pectin out, clean urine test

>found a job in less than 2 weeks
Dont worry man. Just wait a month and find the same job again. I am sure you will find the same exact job again since it sounds like it doesn't require any degree or cert

Let me guess, youtube comment section is your citation?

Fastest way to get it out is to increase your metabolism by working out. Drugs mostly follow a first order decay and the only way to affect this is to just work out. But most likely, you will still have to wait about a month

Good attitude user, you’ve made the right choice to stop smoking that garbage. I think your life is going to improve a lot. Stick with it.

All of these methods just dilute your urine which makes your drug test inconclusive. You will have to retake if you follow these methods however you are given extra time since they want you to retake the exam at a later date.

legalize it bro

youtube.com/watch?v=H7wobDcUqGk&t=340s

>How to make your test inconclusive

You obviously didn’t read what I said tard

You obviously didn't read what I wrote down, literal retard.

Ignore any bullshit cleanse.

The only reason it works at all is because your urine is diluted.

Drink a fuck ton of water, until you are peeing clear. Take a b12 supplement or a 5 hour energy (fuck ton of b12) to turn your pee yellow again. Take creatine because creatine levels are sometimes used to determine if it is real pee / not diluted.

its very obvious to see someone trying to rig their own results. its like thinking you are doing something new that these scientists have never seen before

Go buy quick fix synthetic urine from your local head shop its like $20 comes with a handwarmer and it has a temp strip on the outside of the bottle. I recently just passed a random with it.

this is honestly the best way to pass a test. Although its risky, if your life depends on the job then this is the choice to take

ITT : ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT
I don't smoke weed anymore but have lots of experience with self testing and lab test, occasional and hardcore use. The absolute only way to pass a test is time and abstinence. Heavy use took 42 days for me to pass 20ng test

ITP: Illiteracy
its already been covered you idiot

I also have lots of experience with quickfix. Was a fantastic product and sent to lab many times and passed, then one day I had an inconclusive with it. This was a valid batch according to the website and even a co-worker that had the same batch as me 'passed' his. I had to retake and use synthetic again. Another inconclusive and this was a new batch. It bought me enough time in the end to pass (42 days) because I had quit during the first fail. You can't trust this shit with labs, I am almost willing to bet that they don't always do all the appropriate test for every batch of urine, then once they do you're fucked.

Stop using inferior drugs and start having fun that won't show up on a test

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They will almost never watch you or record you pissing unless it is government and there is some sort of clearance needed. It costs too much and they don't care that much.

Borrow piss or buy fake piss, %100 success rate over trying to get it out of your system if you smoke often. Not saying doing it that way is impossible. I'm just saying I would say there is a very high chance you will not be watched.

Bring it as a back up.

If you want to be 100% its going to work, you should by the synthetic urine at an actual science website. Not sure if Fishersci sells it but I remember my physiology professor had to buy synthetic urine every year for a lab we did. This urine is whats used to basically calibrate any measurement readings for labs.

ive been drug tested twice, both times i was not watched unless they put some secret hidden camera somewhere. They only look for the color that is made in the toilet when you pee and they check the temperature of the pee. So yea, using someone elses piss is your best bet

You may be right, but all I'm saying is I was as confident as everyone else with synthetic through quick fix, used it probably 6+ times and passed each time before they cracked down on it somehow then had 2 inconclusive in a row. Then they called in a dude that watched me piss with my shirt up and pants down to my ankles.

>a dude that watched me piss with my shirt up and pants down to my ankles
bahahahaha, oh god.
Sorry you had to deal with that mess. I wouldn't trust other stoners when it comes to passing drug tests though. They always talk some fuckin nonsense and they try to convince me with their science talk. But in the end I have to tell them I am an actual chemist and none of what they said is true at all

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thats what you get you little druggie. DANK WEED LOL 420 what a chump. enjoy hanging out with Mr. Smoke Weed Everyday porchmonkey at the unemployment line

i hope you realize your medical doctor, dentist, and pharmacists probably smoke weed too? Well actually, the medical doctors might just do coke but for sure the pharmacists are smoking it up.

I am with you, I don't trust stoners. I was more just trying a product I knew would work with certain labs. But alas my lab must have stepped up their game or something. I thought it was kind of funny pissing in front of the dude, he sighed and said 'sometimes I hate my job'

LMAO. Two people in the same room wondering how their lives came to this point where one person pees and another watches

I have a drug test for a shitty warehouse on monday and i stopped smoking last week because i have to get my shit together. Hopefully its a mouth swab test. What job is hiring you that fast op?

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Have you ever smoked weed? I used to think this way too before i started smoking because of all the dumb nigga culture promoting it. Now i realize its a self learning plant. It helps me evaluate myself and open my mind for personal growth. Try it. Its not just for hippies.

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Drink fucking heaps of water and flush your system out.
Lift, exercise and sweat it all out. Make your body metabolize and or purge the remnants from your system.
Red clover supplements are great for this as well as general detox and anti hangover aids.
Helps immensely if you have low bf% as this is where the weed metabolites are stored. Lower bf% the faster the body cam flush it out.

> t. Three times weekly weed vaper, passed pre-employment drug test with less than a weeks notice.

>i have a right to be a degenerate leech
>what do you mean responsibility??
>sounds like fascism
Post body

dude stop this
you can overdose on green tea. don't do this.
just drink wa

im guessing he is working in retail.

ill fuck you up

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when I had drill for National Guard one of the Sergeants said the whole "weed stays in your body for a month" thing is a myth and it goes away in a few days (then again he could've been lying to try and catch people who smoke weed.)

I've literally smoked weed and passed a test the same day. Be low bodyfat and use b12 (in the form of niacin) energy spray

Try Vitamin water and cardio also niacin flush breh

Literal retards. I knew fit was one of the dumber boards but I didn't know it was this dumb.

Cant you just tell em youve quitted and can we do the test later?

Junkies seriously kys yourselves

>thinks weed does nothing to you

Exactly
Weed is for faggots
Psychedelics can actually help you and are the anti-dope

i didnt say that.
you should

>scientists
They most likely aren’t sending them to a scientist. They probably have some lab technician who couldn’t give less of a fuck

Not doing drugs like a faggot might help

JUST USE FAKE URINE.

Go to your local head shop and buy some Quick Fix. It comes with heating pads but you don’t even need them, just hold the bottle in your taint/crotch area for like half an hour before going to piss. Go in, spray it all into the cup, put it back away, turn it in. Works every time.

If you’re too much of a pussy to do this then just do a detox drink like others suggested. Follow the instructions on the bottle! The “detox” name is a lie, what it really does is mask the fact that your piss is hella diluted which lets you pass the test.

Not exactly. I went on a couple dates recently with a girl who works in a drug testing lab and she didn't give a fuck about drugs but they use high tech (gas chromatography) tests where they can't exactly ignore the results and pass you. And if I remember right she said fake urine would pass one of those tests because they only check for urea, creatine, and drugs of course. BUT those extensive tests are only ran for confirmation (if you fail the initial test which I think is just the simple stick test that you can buy at CVS). I'd guess they also have a procedure to send it in for further testing if your pee looks too diluted because I would think that would pass the simple test.

Anyway, my point is, if you need to pass a drug test use fake piss. I used pic related a couple years ago and passed no problem. I have also used quick fix in the past but I prefer the design of the Monkey Whizz. Its much more comfortable to conceal and stays closer to body temp since its a flat pouch strapped around your waist.

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I just posted about it failing. Twice in a row. This shit isn't 100% success. You're rolling a dice.

Nobody wants weed dudebros in the work environment mate.

Except you yourself said it bought you the time you needed to pass. IMO you should try quick fix, then a detox if the quick fix doesn’t work. But it’s not like either is going to test positive or get you in any shit.

>Works every time.
It doesn't. And I had 2 inconclusive in a row with it, which would probably get you fired with a number of employers because a lab will consider it a fail. I was lucky I'm involved with my company they paid a lab tech to come out and test me. Others wouldn't be so lucky.

lol that is not weed. Weed isn’t psychedelic.

t. human chem lab

>not afffecting their business. My company saves money by getting health insurance discounts if their employees pass drug tests.

oh fuck guys he od'd while typing RIP my bro

we gotta get green tea off the streets

lmao just quit smoking marijuana for a month+cardio and look for the same job y\

use the wiz kit. thank me later.

How about you wait a fucking month before looking for a job that requires a drug test, you massive druggy retard

There's a lot of excellent resources on Erowid. Here's a tl;dr though:

>Exercise regularly before the test (cardio /and/ weights)
>Drink normally except on the day of the test (THC metabolism isn't sped up by being over-hydrated)
>On the day of the test increase your water consumption to dilute your piss
>Take creatine and vitamin B (can't remember which one; think it's B6) for a few days before the test to mask the dilution
>Don't get your first piss of the day tested
>Submit urine from the middle of your piss (not sold on this one but it can't hurt)

Wait, is this a thing in America? Top lel, why do Americans love being fucked by corporations so much

lmao just phone the manager and be like "yo listen i used to smoke for X medical reason, but i'm quitting for the job. i'm willing to legitimately submit to the test and further tests after my hire date for X period, do you think we could postpone for a few weeks so my body has time to flush it out?"

any job worth having will give you the extra time.

Pretty based, man. I quit everything except the yearly self-reflection trip.

Go to a headshop/growshop and ask for a "cleaner" (its called like that in Germany). You'll drink like 5l a day and you'll only be allowed to eat certain things after you take it. Takes about 3-5 days to get clean.

Legitimately don't know how the majority of the people in this thread even survive. The level of retardation is astounding.

This seems reasonable
Every job ive had the interviewers asked if I needed time to study for my drug test. I've never needed to but I always appreciate the offer

Joe rogan wants change your mind

A friend of mine who's a pothead said it takes 3 weeks.
So this might be good for you.

>lmao tump fanboy???
>hes a fascist LOL

lmao@urmentalstate

I did a hardcore keto diet and it worked. Make sure to use MCTs
I dont care for keto or keto supplements but it does work for getting the weed out since fat becomes your main energy source