Who here /Poopmaxing/?

>iPhone filename
>retarded shit thread
Checks out

Christ, this might summon the bidet shill faggot

you new here?

>have ibs
>tfw dropped a big long 3 today
Feels good man

how can I make my shits harder? I'm sick of having to mop up a fucking mess every time I take a dump.

Type 5-6 IBS faggot reporting in.

I like number 1 the best because it hurts so good coming out, and the feeling of relief after is amazing.

A friend of mine swears eating oats gives him the cleanest, smoothest shits. You could give it a try.

It's probably not feasible but if you can shit with your ass submerged in water you will have zero smearing.

>have constipation
>feel like I need to shit
>go to bathroom, just a little bit comes out, i still feel the need to shit, but nothing comes out
>have to insert my finger in my anus to induce shitting
>my ass hurts

When will the misery end?

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kek
I'll try it thx

and what friend of yours talks about the texture of his shit that's kinda weird

1 - 3, when it’s 3 it’s fucking massive and smears the fuck out of the bowl. Wipes are usually clean

Which group of friends doesn’t discuss fecal matter every once in a while?

Had a type 3 today, felt good and a clean wipe.

4 sucks it means you have to wipe a million times. I have 6 and 7 multiple times every day. The majority of my poops are liquid. What does this mean?

linum seeds brah, i think you call them flax or some shit, google it.
tea spoon before every meal,you will thank me.

>What does this mean?
You're losing weight/ burning fat like a madman. If it floats, it has fats and oils in it so it floats. Good sign user.

Why the fuck would you want Types 4-7? Any kind of "soft" shit means that it's gonna leave your asshole nasty as fuck, likely even have a dingleberry piece left hanging or it hangs for a while then rolls off and stains your asshole so you gotta pat/wipe 50 times then use a baby wipe or clean yourself after

Type 2 and 3 are by far the best. Harder, dry stools leave no residue behind

Man I hate managing shits. You put in work all day to make sure it's a quality shit and the next day it's just okay and the work starts over.

the worst thing is how much of a crapshoot (pun intended) it can be. like you can eat the same things and follow the same routine and have your shit be very nice and solid one day, and the next it is a softer one that leaves a residue on your asshole that takes 50 wipes to clean and then you have to end up somehow washing your asshole because it would still leave something behind.

I have soft shits that don’t leave residue. Soft is NOT the same as sticky. You can have soft, non sticky poos.

Type 7 is so convenient, body flushed in seconds. Make sure to pack wet wipes.

uh... I literally cycle though every single type within any given 2 week period. What is wrong with me?

Just remember guys, you want to be from 2-4 with proper fiber intake. Only going 1 time a day.

If you shit 5 or worse for years and years you WILL get hemorrhoids. Especially if you shit 2+ times a day everyday

Get your fiber right boys. Save your anus

You lose fat through your breath retard. You don't shit it out. It's floating because his diet is oil and fat rich

4 is trash. paste-texture shits are the worst, you never feel emptied. 3 is GOAT, especially when it has like a coating of slime and just slides of out your ass clean and easy

Vegan detected

Wrong, most of my diet is meat and potatoes.

What can I do to improve the taste of my feces? Any helpful tips?

type 3-4 represnt fr

are you me?

I have Type 7 whenever I drink milk. I think I might be lactose intolerant. Can anyone confirm? Or is it normal to shit liquid after drinking milk?

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type 5 protein diarrhea master race reporting.

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BASED AND OATPILLED

>HEMORRHOIDS

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

>starts taking psyllium husk every day

All better now

that's gay as hell

absolute state of this wizard

But I like women.

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..to put on a strap-on and peg you from behind

I once put the non brush end of a lubed toothbrush up my butt hole while masturbating just to see what the fuss was all about.
I didn't like it because the orgasm was too uncomfortably intense and I was left with a smelly toothbrush and shame.

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type 1 masterrace

Type 2.7 here.
My system needs a cleanout but I'm not sure what to take to do it. Gotta give myself some diarrhea.

You only have IBS because of all the grain/onions/corn/sugar/carb based foods you eat. Go on carnivore diet and IBS goes away entirely. Slowly re-add vegetables to find which ones irritate you.

ugh not onions...s.o.y!

had a similar problem, switched to a squat position. Feels weird at first but your shits just leave your body instantly and you feel relieved.

>tfw type 5 and 6
Do I have ibs?

Eat more fibers

Psyllium. Metamucil is the most palatable option. Konsyl is decent too.

I seriously wish I'd realized years ago just how little fiber I've been eating. It took an episode of keto induced mega-constipationto convince me to use fiber supplements.

Eat more veggies that have decent amounts of fiber in them. The big thing is that you need soluble fiber in particular.

I fully intend to keep supplementing fiber even after I'm done with keto.

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Type 2 - 3 are my favorite shits to pass.

Take a fibre suppliment
>t. 5,6 & 7 sufferer.

Here is my anecdote: I eat mostly carnivore, beef, eggs and a little fruit and occasional veggies. I also stopped caffeine and alcohol. My shits are consistently number 4. I rarely need to wipe, maybe just once or twice.

Just add oats or any fiber dense cereal to your diet.

>I rarely need to wipe, maybe just once or twice.
That's the perfect one: no wipe needs, like healthy dogs do.

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exquisite shit posting

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>type I
>difficulty realising gas and pee
>psylium did fuck all
Is the asscancer aint it. rip in peace me

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Yeah I'm the same. But I'm not eating any fiber though. Consistently at 4.

>tfw type 1 and 6
I eat tons of cabbage, beans, soups, tomatoes, bread and pasta, I also have chicken, eggs and milk.
What the fuck is wrong with me

>be me
>fell for the "animal products bad for you" meme
>ate less meat, eggs & dairy
>ate a ton of beans and peas for protein along with lots of other veggies
>used to be 5 for years, had to whipe like crazy, belly always bloated from all the fiber, farts were crazy too
>got hemoroids
>almost stopped eating beans and peas
>started eating more eggs and meat again (not in ridiculous amounts though)
>also eat dairy again, some milk with my oats in the morning and some yoghurt with blueberries as a snack
>shits are 3-4, barely need to whipe, don't feel bloated anymore
Don't listen to vegans guys they are literally full of shit

Fiber and water you fucking animal

This
I've had two episodes of hemorroids and it's quite unpleasant
You don't notice it when you're a kid because your parents probably feed you right. But once you start feeding yourself, that shit might rear its head
hint: you're not getting old, your diet just fucking sucks
PS I was having type 1 shits and having to push hard as fuck when i got my roids

This
By lose fat through your breath he means it gets metabolized so carbon dioxide. also ketones in urine.
Floating and/or pale shits are from fat in the food you ate

Ate at a roadside stall two days ago. Been churning out Type 7s for a while now.. Lost days worth of gains. Might actually go to the emergency to get some IV gains.

>Long coils of type 4
Me too, but mostly because I supplement with 1-200 mg of magnesium citrate every day.
I'm actually afraid of my own stools sometimes.

>implying you would want to change your diet just so to have to wipe your ass again
not going to make it

nope its fucking not normal retard.Get it checked!

kek
Fine
You'll change your tune really fast if/when you get hemorrhoids

Lactose intolerant user here
I've gotten type 7 from drinking milk but only rarely
Usually its just a lot of gassiness which probably has a hand in accelerating how soon i shit (to within the next 30 mins) and that shit is usually like 5 or 6

2-3 is best cause those mean the least wiping.

You amerifats and your wiping
get a bidet toilet. Only dab dry necessary.

how do you fix ocasional type 5-6 and weight loss?

>Type 8
>You have food poisoning and it's just water coming out of your ass

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type 4 mostly, sometimes 3. Type 5-6 if I've been drinking and eating shitty food.

Or after you eat 4 sugar free chocolates bars sweetened with maltitol, fuck man, on the toilet for 4 hours with squirts

Type 7 master race

Isn’t your shit supposed to be type 4? That’s the one that indicates you’re healthy.

We have entered a new era of shitposting

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I find that whenever I have a solid type 3 I never need to wipe so I've decided that is the godtier poop type

I have IBS and it’s usually around 6. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to poop but there is always a giant pile of shit that looks like it’s from a gag manga.

Taking Imodium brings it up to 2

I know I’m shitting something else first, but after whatever is first explodes out, I get a huge bunch of #7 which obscured the sight of everything else in the bowl.

I've been having pooper problems for years, and it even got to the point where I had severe anxiety because of it. It got a lot better after I fixed my diet and started exercising more regularly, but the anxiety is still fucking awful. I hate how overused the word anxiety is, because I feel like it doesn't even describe the issues I feel now.
>have to go on long car ride
>get in the car
>intense stomach pain
>cold sweat
>shakey
>feel like I'm going to shit my pants
>stop at the first rest area
>can't shit at all
>feel fine while I'm there
>get back in the car
>it starts again
>stop at next rest area
>can't poop
>repeat until I reach destination
It's insanely embarrassing and I have to avoid going on trips with friends/family because I just fucking KNOW I'm going to be an anxious wreck the whole time and they just give me dumb shit like "lmao I know just what you mean bro I feel anxious too when I'm getting my grades back in school!"

And get ass-raped by a stream of water? Not for red-blooded completely butch-straight Americans, thanks you very much! Keep your faggot French toilet away from here.

Anxiety and bowel problems are correlative, if a person has one they usually wind up with the other eventually.

I don't know what to do about it. I've been to a psychiatrist and he just kept giving me different pills to try until I got fed up with paying $100 per visit just for him to say "Hmm, that didn't work? Try this."

It’s like an annoying endless cycle. Anxiety makes you want to shit, but if you have pooping/stomach problems it also gives you anxiety. I have a problem with feeling bad and getting diarrhea before concerts and an user recommended Imodium because it slows stomach/intestinal contractions. Some people abuse it so I only take it if I really need to, but it seems to help.