You have six months to get this couple in shape or you automatically gain 50 pounds of pure fat. How do you do it?

SS+OMAD

What kind of control do I have over them? Can I force them to swim at least an hour every day and fast?

Put them in a medically-induced coma. Give them nothing but water, minerals and vitamins. Wake them up when they're normal weight.

>kidnap them
>make them eat right and exercise at gunpoint

My parents aren't this bad but this still reminds me of them. I worry about their health but they won't change their ways

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only let him eat chicken that he cooks himself

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You can change them.

Correct answer

>any muscle they have goes to shit
Sedentary lifestyle is a nogo

There will be no shape. They long gone on point of skin stretching. Their muscles atrophied.
It's will take at minimum 1 year. Faster only bullet.

send them to ethiopia for 6 months. done.

You don't. Parents never listen to their children's advice.

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Gain the 50 of fat and lose it
These people are hopeless.

Mine did. Stop being a parentlet.

Threats of lethal violence.

nothing but Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad, three times a day for six months.

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make a human centipede with the dude in the back, since he has the most weight to lose and it'll force him to keep his hamplanet from gorging.

Interesting design. I'd replace the ladder with a couple of those jacob's ladder machines. Rigged in such a way that if you're more than 150 or so, the ladder moves downward. It's resistance based rather than constant speed based, so the fatter they are they are the faster they'd need to climb to get out. Once they get to 160 or so they'll be light and athletic enough to get out

6 month dry fast.

Kill myself in advance and start planning for the next life

Lock in them in my basement with limited food coming in.

I think I saw this nightmare on /ck/ a few years back. Is she still making videos?

youtube.com/user/jakatak69

Literally and unironically impossible.
Id rather just prepare for my own 50 lbs

impossible.

Does legality matter? Like I can do whatever with no consequence? Because if no consequence, I'm just going to use a shit ton of drugs on them and probably like shock collars and shit along with full time monitoring.

you've heard of nofap, now get ready for noeat the new diet for "people" 300lb and over

add 2 scoops and it's ready

Use half the beans, add tuna and you have a pretty based meal

It's either this or do something unethical

Unironically, DDP Yoga + strict diet that I control.

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Trips.
Nigga got a slap chop

Put them under artificial coma for 6 months

Ask Jack to make my favorite: chicken parm. he will undercook it every time and get food poisoning.

>beat into coma
>6 month fast

I still like the one where he pours salsa juice on a brick of cream cheese

I'll take the free bulk

is this the /fph/?

I haven't lurked /ck/ in awhile. Thanks

Is this post stroke jack?

IV a saline solution of essential nutrients and protien. Include emetics to cause horrible vomiting if they eat. Problem solved

Lock them in a fasting dungeon with a 1000gal of snake juice and waterboard them to some mcdonalds waiting in line ASMR while the smell of french fries is lingering about.

Kill them and use their fat to light your villages lamps for a year.

He said in shape dumbass, that means you're supposed to form their skin into lampshades, unto which you place their oil to light. Fucking retard

Tie them up in a room, and starve them.

Lock them in a reinforced room with a floor that is entirely a treadmill running at "light jog" pace (just above "brisk walk").

They have no choice but to keep moving and burning calories. If they give up or fail to keep moving, they fall down, get pushed against the wall, and the treadmill belt will start to gradually remove fat the hard way.

Small, healthy meals will be lowered in at set intervals with fair warning so that they can heave their bulk off the ground and get to it without it going to waste.

I'm hoping the Diabetus Wave, Heart Disease and fatty liver is going to take out 50% of Americans and clean house in the next 10-20 years,

Somehow these fucking fat fucks keep living, a testament to the pharmaceutical industry's incredible ability to innovate drugs to keep the pigs alive.

SS + GOMAD