/sig/ - self improvement general

Attached: 1542062181147.png (1332x1949, 348K)

How do I improve my shitposting score?

Have you asked cleaning companies?

>The impoverished, ugly, unknown guy can be far happier than you.
That'd be me.

I doubt you're ugly, you can try to improve on poverty and being unknown.

If I can work out more frequently but don't have a lot of time for each session, am I better of with a split rather than full body? I've lifted before but it's been a few years.

WE'RE ALL GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT

Are we?

Hate saying it but try a temp agency the job probably won't be good but you can make okish money while getting some experience. Just remember that either just like life this job/situation is temporary

Actively working on improving looks, mostly by losing weight.
Improving on poverty seems impossible right now- even though I make the average salary in my field, the housing market is so hyper-inflated right now that I can't even afford anything more than a goddamn room.
And yet somehow I'm happy.

I waste so much time on this site (and the internet in general) while there's so much I need/want to do.

How do I deal with this shit?
I already blocked the nsfw Jow Forums.org in my hosts, only 4channel is accessible.

Attached: 1549949848227.png (1319x229, 35K)

How do you stop the burnout?

I seem to go through cycles of discipline and being able to do anything i need to do to not being able to get out of bed to eat or brush my teeth.

>You don't need a relationship, you want the feeling you've convinced yourself a relationship will bring you.
>What you actually want is not wanting anything anymore
I guess that's mostly true. I've had one very brief relationship, but after it was cut short due to circumstances i just felt like it was null and void. I had that feeling, desire, recognition as a human being from a woman at my fingertips and i feel unable to get there again. And it's not just sex, sex is just a part of it.
I've watched hours and hours of RSD stuff, pickup and advice on women, and there's one thing that i find disgusting. All the talk of "shit testing", and things like having to make her doubt her worth. The dance of trying to create insecurities in each other, it's disgusting, i want to a relationship to be about us both feeling secure. It goes against what i want a relationship to be at it's core.

>yet somehow I'm happy.

That's good my dude. It sucks if you can't get a living space you want but being able to repose in a positive mindset will definitely help you get there eventually.

Proud of you!

Thanks. Jow Forums's attitude is what got me to this mindset in the first place.

This feels awful but should I fake a letter or recommendation for free scholarship money, or write the letter and have a manager/coworker sign it? The department coordinator at college doesn’t want to make any more of them, and I didn’t really have any other professors that communicated with me a lot.

From my experience... You can't. You just have to stay through the pain. Don't worry, you are still making progress every time you burn out because you are reducing resistance to new habits.

These cycles are completely normal, just try to save whatever you can while in a burnout phase.

Write it yourself and make a professor sign it. It wouldn't be the first time. But don't fake someone's signature, you can get into trouble.

Yeah, I was looking online and it seems like a lot of people write their own and have someone edit/sign it for them. I think I’ll do that with my boss or a professor if they don’t object to the idea.

>dance of trying to create insecurities in each other

Yeah, no. Don't do that.

You need to become independent.
I get it. Having someone love you and to love someone feels so good. Having that validation near you at all times makes things so much easier, and in turn, not having it makes things always that much harder. But the thing is, you really don't need it from external sources. You do have all of that which you need inside of yourself, including that sense of being loved and validated.
If you want to be appreciated by other people, it's important to work your way towards understanding this since it is the surest way of being attractive to others. You won't need to piss around playing with insecurities since your sense of self isn't dependent on other people - so how could you be insecure? There is also no point in trying to manipulate others since you are not desperately trying to grasp for them.

Easier said than done though, I know. You need to work through a whole host of shit you got going on inside of you, your mindset about how you think the world works and you need to be painfully honest with yourself. Separate your Ego from your capacity to think logically. Admit what works for you and what doesn't. Don't cling on to mindsets that stroke the Ego but ultimately make you feel like shit. Process and thereby master your emotions to stop them from pushing you to seek instant gratification.
Be self-aware, learn to not judge, practice mindfulness.

Attached: needful things 03.jpg (2000x1250, 3.01M)

Great advice, thanks bro!

No problem man, just happy if it helps.

Taking a break and detoxing from Facebook and Instagram by disabling/logging out of them for a week or two. I've been too invested into this shit that's gotten to me in a bad shape. I keep looking or holding my phone just scrolling like a madman even when I'm doing something like cooking.
Enough is enough, I need to sort myself out before I'm fucked. It's already the 4th month of this year and I have made very little progress. I'm probably get some withdrawals but fuck it, the pain is worth the long term goal.

Attached: D1s8s6hU8AAsX1n.png (1002x673, 223K)

Moved back home a few years ago and joined up with an old social group. Some old but many new people. Meet girl and become good friends over the year. Start dating and fucking. One of the other women pulls a crabs in the bucket due to perceived jealousy that I took this friend away from the single women’s/nights out/wineries mode. Whole thing implodes. I leave her and the group. Last month we run into each other and start talking again. Obviously unresolved feelings and whatnot but at least can be friends again. Last night I ask her what her feelings for me are and our compatibility sexually before- “why? it doesn’t matter if we don’t have a future!” Like I hit a rough spot. Still wouldn’t answer and just changes the subject. I figure she’s hiding feelings so things don’t go further?

Basically all of my personality traits are negative in some way or another.
Despite this, I'm far too scared to leave my comfort zone long enough to actually put a dent in any of them.
The idea of how painful it would be to change all that stuff is discouraging.
I'm also a usually negative thinker, so my perspective doesn't help, but I don't know how to fix that, considering that – whenever I try to find a silver lining – it feels like I'm lying to myself, and like it's grossly wrong.

Wat do?

Attached: FaggotDog.png (283x267, 144K)

You can't know what is going on with her if she won't talk Speculation is a waste of energy. Resolve your own issues.

What are your personality traits?

Sounds like you gotta make your own decisions then. Despite having sex and being pretty compatible in one way, you gotta figure out what you want also. If she's not seeing you in the same wavelength don't bother wasting your time.

How do I deal with my low T at 450 when it's technically within reference ranges? Don't have morning wood and feel sluggish all the time

>laziness
>hypersensitivity to criticism
>hypersensitivity to failure
>inferiority complex
>lack of discipline
>being ego-driven
>social retardation
>pessimistic mindset
>envy and jealousy

And these are just off the top of my head.

Attached: 1337594895239.png (600x400, 363K)

Get active outside, eat spinach eggs meat mussels, sleep well, lessen stress, alcohol and excessive sugar intake, run with sprints

Sounds about right. I figure the women in that group also still pull an influence on her too

Having been around women, there's like 90% chance that will be the case. Since you mentioned her group doesn't like you as much, I'm pretty sure they'll do whatever it takes to make sure she stays away from you. Hence, her indecisiveness.

>laziness
>lack of discipline
Lack of direction. You like doing whatever lazy thing it is you do more than what you're supposed to do. Maybe because you don't see the end result of doing what you're supposed to do as being more valuable as your lazy time.
There are things more valuable than your lazy time. Figure out what those things are for you.
There's nothing wrong with struggling with this, most people do. They just go about it in different ways but it doesn't mean they're always accomplishing more.

>hypersensitivity to criticism
>hypersensitivity to failure
>inferiority complex
>envy and jealousy

Understandable. All human flaws. Great thing is that you're aware of this.

>social retardation
Symptom of other issues. Don't worry about this one in particular, it'll solve itself when you sort your shit out.

>pessimistic mindset
>being ego-driven
Actually pretty much the same thing. You have started to build an image of the world that puts you in a position where it's most comfortable to just be lazy. Your Ego keeps you in the pessimistic mindset so that you can at least always have the sense of "being right". "I'm lazy" and then you find yourself being lazy and somewhere inside of you there's a fucked up sense of satisfaction "ha, see, I'm right". Same thing with looking at the outside world; you choose the way you see it and then keep latching on to whatever confirms your pessimistic view. You could very easily slip into huffing glue under the bridge, forever at least reposing in the comfort in knowing that "you were right" about whatever pessimistic narrative you were feeding yourself.

I would recommend you start by carrying a notebook and starting to write down things you see during the day. Don't use value-assessing words, try to be as neutral as possible. Point: don't try to be positive either. Just neutral. Learn to not judge.
Once you get better at not judging everything around you, try to regard yourself less judgmentally as well.

Any advice on how to rebuild relationships after getting sober? Related, how to get thoughts of suicide and other intrusive thoughts out of your head after getting sober?

Attached: 1547062904351.jpg (436x536, 51K)

>There are things more valuable than your lazy time. Figure out what those things are for you
Sorry for an almost surely stupid question, but how do I do that? The only thing I thought was important to me (namely being praised by others) is probably not even that important, considering not even that gets me off my ass.

Attached: 1332800817015.jpg (800x640, 161K)

Nah, not a stupid question at all. I made it sound very easy, sorry about that.

It all ties in with you just figuring yourself out. Do self-inquiry. If you do get that notebook I mentioned, occasionally ask yourself things like "why did I notice that particular thing" etc.
Keep asking why. It's important to get that non-judgementality going because else you'll end up lying to yourself when you come close to uncovering something you really don't want to admit to yourself.

It's important that you don't just do this inside your head because you'll just get distracted or go off tangents.

Have you done this all by yourself?

It's amazing if so but you should maybe seek a support group anyway.

ALready done. Just trying on how to rebuild the relationships I damaged when I was a drunk.

It's an anxiety stack. I have anxiety about how they perceive me, which makes me not want to contact them, which prevents me from apologizing, which prevents the rebuilding.

I need to get over that hump, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I just call and say, "hey, I'm sorry I was so obnoxious and rude over the years. I had an addiction and I have gone through steps to become a different person." It sounds good on paper, but I still have doubt

>you'll end up lying to yourself when you come close to uncovering something you really don't want to admit to yourself
Yeah. For example, I discovered long ago that – despite my ideas of gradiosity – I'm a pretty basic person, wanting sex and admiration, but I kept telling myself I was too good for that. So I never did anything about that. I keep having those needs, but I'm in a position where I can get neither. I too wanted to look good, like others did/do, and have positive reinforcement, yet I kept telling myself that was bad, and that I should've been above that.
I've always felt like I was not to give in to these basic needs, otherwise... I don't know, I'd have become just like anyone else.

Attached: 1242858395298.jpg (412x345, 28K)

3 months sober now.

It's normal to be anxious. I'd be scared shitless.

What do you think is the worst that could happen?

>What do you think is the worst that could happen?
That's the question I ask myself that I can't answer. Right now I'm at 0 friendships, so I can only go up I guess. I think it's just shame that's keeping me from contacting them. I feel ashamed by my actions, and I do not know if they will believe me. I think I keep stalling, waiting for the right time, but that might just be an excuse.

The shame is pretty damn normal too.

Take your time but when you do get around to it, just be sincere. Admit that you're anxious and that you're ashamed. Don't make excuses, just admit you were wrong to do the things you did. Tell them you're doing better now but that you have no expectations of them ( because you shouldn't ).

>Tell them you're doing better now but that you have no expectations of them ( because you shouldn't ).
I think that's what I was trying to verbalize. That I was the one in the wrong, and that I just want to tell them I am sorry.

>8 weeks

Holy shit, learn patience first.

Really conflicted here. I know this isn't Jow Forums by any stretch of the means, but I thought I'd ask here instead.
I wanna learn an instrument by the end of this year. I'm going for drums.
Only problem is I'm in my final year of college, need to focus on my exams and have to come up with what I wanna do next for my Masters. I'm also trying to improve my well being and discipline. Drum classes may take some of my time off my day but it's gonna be once or twice a week. Would it be a good idea to take it or would it distract me from my academics too much?

Attached: 1515162418918.jpg (1200x798, 257K)

WAH WAH WAAAAH! You're a little bitch, and she's a manipulative bitch. DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA LLAAAAAMMMMMMAAAAAAA!

Stop that shit, you idiot.

Unless there's a very good reason to rebuild old relationships, make new ones instead. Become a new person, relationships and all. There are 7 billion people on the planet, and only a few knew you were a drunk. The rest don't.

Good morning boys. I ate well today and continue to improve my PR on bench. Today is also my birthday. 22 years ago I was born out of wedlock in a snowstorm at 5:33 in the morning. In true fashion, I woke up around 5:45 to herald my birth and start it off right. Except I've been shitposting for the last hour and I also ruined my phone by dropping it in the toilet in a rush to clean it. But overall everything is great. Looking forward to graduating uni this summer, eating clean, lifting and cutting weight.

>I'd have become just like anyone else.

Is that so bad? Isn't there some comfort in knowing that - it means ultimately nobody is any better than you either.

Even if you were to rationalize yourself into a position where "you're better than X", your sense of betterness would still depend on the existence of who or whatever X is. So how does someone who is "better than X" be unable to get by without X?

You know what's even better about that? I can sincerely say to you that you're not bad at all. You're just not seeing things in the most effective way because that's how life has shaped you, and that has made you act in ways that isn't always the most effective in terms of advancing your life. But you can always resolve to do better.

It's okay man. It's hard to do something like that. Just make sure you understand your own sense of regret. Try writing down some of your thoughts. You don't have to try to recite them in the phone, but having them clarified to yourself may help the words come out the way you intend.

>I can sincerely say to you that you're not bad at all.
I won't deny it's a good thing to hear/read.

>You're just not seeing things in the most effective way because that's how life has shaped you, and that has made you act in ways that isn't always the most effective in terms of advancing your life.
Yeah, I've been going on despising "efficiency", regarding it as something to be ashamed of, an admitting to being subject to basic needs such as admiration. Right now, it feels strangely clear.

I've scorned people who try for so long that I've become afraid to try, lest I become something I hate. Even now, I am a little scared.

Attached: 1332800856293.jpg (600x531, 39K)

Take the drum classes. You can focus on a few things at a time. Only one is not enough. 10 is too much. For me 3-5 is a sweet spot.

I'm earning my first salary soon. As a 20 yo student, debt free and living with his parents, where should I put my money? I want to save most of it. I've been living with little money so I can keep living like that, but I need a clear objective so I don't feel tempted to spend everything I earn.

What are the choices and investments that will throw me into adulthood? I want to be economically independent (no boss or company above me) in a decade.

>basic needs such as admiration

Actually there's one of your problems. Admiration is not a basic need. It's a nice thing to get and very human to want it but it's not a need.

Like I said here external validation etc. is nice but not necessary. Feeding yourself that narrative will make you grasp for it, or in your case, avoid it ( and everything it implies ), since in your case, your Ego want to be "above it all". Either way, you are still stuck in a mentality of someone who depends on others.

This may sound borderline nihilistic but it isn't, because genuinely realizing your independence leads to compassion - which will go a long way solving your problems with what you called "social retardation".
It's very important you work on this and not just jump on to what your Ego tells you about "independence".

It absolutely is scary but I promise you that you won't lose the sight of yourself or your values. It's not about killing the Ego, it's just putting it in it's rightful place as a tool.

Attached: ego01.jpg (1200x800, 219K)

Just apply. They only ask for experience to keep nigs and weebs from applying.

This. Apply for everything. Just do it. It's good practice even if they don't reply. But you'll probably get replies.

How do I deal with being a 33 year old khv, having no friends and knowing that any girl that I ever liked probably never even thought of me romantically?

>tfw at my company for 5 years, have no friends
>Chad that started 6 months ago already has a large group of coworker friends

the real question is how to improve my likes

>genuinely realizing your independence
>It's very important you work on this
I'm not sure how to go about doing that. Should I try and look for validation within myself, as opposed to looking for it in other people?

Attached: 1243086796617.jpg (224x214, 42K)

>Should I try and look for validation within myself, as opposed to looking for it in other people?

Yes.

Look up FIRE: financially independence, retire early

Basically:
- Pay off high interest consumer debt
- Build an emergency fund
- Own a house
- Invest in low-fee index funds

Thank you! I will definitely take a look at that.

I wish I was as wise as you. At 20 I would have never asked this question.

Follow this guide. It will help you avoid traps and teach you what matters. I know this will sound weird, because it sounded weird to me, but start thinking about retirement. Investing in things like 401K can be huge.

Even if it's $50/mo it will make a dent.

Good luck man. And you should enjoy having money, buy something that makes you happy every month if you can, but budget for it.

Welcome to adulthood. Money will either make you a slave or a master...there is no in between.

Attached: finances.jpg (1665x3441, 2.35M)

Yeah. Via compassion, and not shrinking responsibility. It's hard to balance ( and yes, you'll stumble ) but slowly by being honest with yourself it'll get easier.

for the love of good and all that is holy.
what do I have to do to get rid of contractures.
stretching? heat? cold? WHAT
I'm so done with this shit gettin me stuck

>tfw year has passed and no replies💔

>wasted time shitposting on boards I don't even usually visit just to get likes today
What the fuck is wrong with me

asking again.

I'm not a virgin, in fact since I've been working on myself I've become pretty good talking to girls... The thing is, I can approach girls with no problem, but I can't scalate things on a sexual way. I feel I'm not "masculine" enough. So /sig/, I want to become more masculine, project a dominant and sexual vibe, not being just "that" cool guy.
how can i start working on that?

Yeah, I'm doing it. If I can work on my drumming, I can probably replace my spare time spending on vidya to this. In a way, at least I'll be learning some skill.

Attached: 1511601221153.jpg (300x321, 28K)

u are focusing it wrong, read what you said
> I feel I'm not "masculine" enough.
You could be the fucking He-Man and still feel that way. you don't need to be more masculine, you need to work on your mind and your confidence.
search why you don't feel masculine enough.

Not him, but I feel less masculine than I'd like to be because I'm physically not imposing nor in any way in shape, and because I'm not very assertive.

How to love and build fulfilling relationships with people when I don't know how to love myself?

> I'm physically not imposing nor in any way in shape
Work out
>I'm not very assertive.
You lack self-confidence. and both things feed back each other: you can't be asertive because you are not in good shape.
BUT, you sound(I don't know you, I only have your post) but you do sound like you would like to shine, I mean:
-Hi!
+Holy shit! it's user!
+We are not worthy!
+My eyes! I'm blind by the presence of user!

Look inside you and be honest to yourself, if you want something like that you should be more realistic. and anyways keep training your body and your confidence. don't be cocky but stand your ground. you probably let other people step on you so you can avoid conflicts and earn some "affection".
you can't, if you don't assess yourself, you'll get lost in the relation. you'll have a simbiotic relationship and that will be bad for both.

>you do sound like you would like to shine
I would, but I'm not sure whether to regard this as a good thing or a bad thing.

>you should be more realistic
I feel like I'd be content with just being able to not be disappointed when looking in a mirror, or being able to go outside without feeling mostly disgusting. You think that's unrealistic as well?

>you probably let other people step on you so you can avoid conflicts
Kinda.

Thanks Jesus

How can I find my life purpose? It feels so esoteric and I feel like I'll never know what it is for sure. I just want to be completely confident so I have a destination in life and I don't know how to pick something and really dedicate my life to it. Any advice?

anyone on here read Goggins book and tried his methods with success? i want to toughen up

Attached: IMG_20190401_201325.jpg (128x125, 5K)

>I would, but I'm not sure whether to regard this as a good thing or a bad thing.
You would like to be the attention center. don't do this. do things you like and if that calls attention, that's nice.
>I feel like I'd be content with just being able to not be disappointed when looking in a mirror, or being able to go outside without feeling mostly disgusting. You think that's unrealistic as well?
this is wrong. it is a mix of things. you have to seek realistic goals and world views. but you are talking about a lack of confidence and self-loathing. these are different things. if you want to look better in the mirror take care of yourself. work out, eat and dress properly etc. about feeling mostly disgusting, you are probably falling for the self-fulfilling prophecy.
>Kinda.
wrong, you don't do this. you have your own ideas and reasons. you fight your ground and keep it. you don't have to be an asshole, some people fail here, but you stand for yourself, even if people doesn't like it. with time you'll see it's better this way.
you'll be more confident for keeping your reasons, your ideas and arguments over some person who just wanted you to fold in orther to be "friends". that's not a friend, that's a slave. there is no pride in slavery.
fight
>I just want to be completely confident so I have a destination in life and I don't know how to pick something and really dedicate my life to it. Any advice?
Yes, drop this way of thinking ASAP

Huh, what methods? Didn't know he had any besides letting someone ghost write a book for him.

You're welcome, my son.

Bitch.

In regards to my life purpose post, should I drop my mindset that I should be completely confident in what I want to do in life or should I not focus being on dedicated to a life goal altogether? Thank you for the advice.

Ez

Set short-time achievable realistic goals. I do it once a year.
For example for this year goals are: Lose 25 kilos(19 down), find an apartment I can afford(nowhere near that one, even after getting a 25% raise. Fucking housing market is hyper-inflated) and get a gf (good one, never gonna happen).

>completely confident
Being confident is nice. being completely confident is nuts. can you tell me about something that doesn't make you question things? having reasonable questions about what you do helps you growing.
>not focus being on dedicated to a life goal altogether
don't focus in one thing. this is idealism, and idealism is killed by reality. you can have a dream, but you also have bills to pay and you have to take a shit once a day.
also, your brain doesn't work this way. do you remember that time when you wanted X so bad? and when you got X what happened?
you got tired of it after some time.
it is sad, but your brain gets tired of things so you search for other ones. this way you explore.
you are looking for some kind of nirvana pal, and that's heading for disaster.
just to end this post, read what you wrote. you want something that absorbs your whole life, you want passion. and passion is the opposite of action.

>You would like to be the attention center. don't do this. do things you like and if that calls attention, that's nice.
I kinda would, although I know it's not a good thing. May I ask you what made it so obvious? Just out of curiosity.

>this is wrong. it is a mix of things. you have to seek realistic goals and world views. but you are talking about a lack of confidence and self-loathing. these are different things.
So it's not too unrealistic an objective.

>you are probably falling for the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Most likely, yes.

>wrong, you don't do this. you have your own ideas and reasons. you fight your ground and keep it. you don't have to be an asshole, some people fail here, but you stand for yourself, even if people doesn't like it. with time you'll see it's better this way.
>you'll be more confident for keeping your reasons, your ideas and arguments over some person who just wanted you to fold in orther to be "friends". that's not a friend, that's a slave. there is no pride in slavery.
I feel insecure about my opinions, because usually they're not very informed ones (e.g. on things happening in the world), and I always feel like I can't speak unless I'm absolutely sure I'm right (and even then, there's a very real possibility I'll feel like double-checking).

>fight
It's scary, but ok.

>passion is the opposite of action
How? Does passion not spur man into action?

Thank you for this post. I'll try to re-evaluate my life a bit more and be a bit more realistic.

>May I ask you what made it so obvious? Just out of curiosity.
Not obvious boy, difficult to explain. just get some advice if it works and fuck it if not, I don't know everything.
>So it's not too unrealistic an objective.
it's not, work on it. just remember you don't have to apologize for existing.
>Most likely, yes.
know you now it. this it's kinda blurred advice but "flow". I mean, when you are talking to someone, stop thinking on what the other person thinks of you, just keep the conversation and go with it.
> because usually they're not very informed ones (e.g. on things happening in the world), and I always feel like I can't speak unless I'm absolutely sure I'm right
nobody ever will be absolutely sure about anything. if someone is sure about something he is:
a)lying
b)talking about a simple matter that can be easily delimited
c)crazy. the bad kind of crazy, the one who need pills.
You can work (and must work) on your own culture and information so you have more data and better arguments.
you maybe thinking about "chad" and his confidence when he speaks. most of this people has a mind with the depth of a soup plate. just ask them about information and to reason their answers. if the other person has a point, you learn something, if not, you can keep arguing or not, as you may prefer a nice conversation or gettin rid of that particular person.
>It's scary, but ok.
fear is useful, it keeps you safe. but too much fear keeps you too much safe. there is no life inside a cocoon unless you are a butterfly. and you are not, you are what you work to become. it won't be easy.