>be me
>be talking to cutie, going on a few dates
>She's coming over to my house Saturday to smoke weed and watch Netflix
>send her a pic of my abs as they are now and she teases "I can't see them, I'll need a better look Saturday"
>me autism: "okay sure"
Bros I can only see my upper two abs right now. How to lose as much fat as possible in 5 days?
Also does it really matter if she's already coming over? I'm pretty insecure in general so I guess this is a good way to set a mini goal?
>weed
fuck off degenerate
Don't eat
dont stress faggot, i got 0 abs but good overall body, around 17% bf and thots think im fit as hell
upper two abs is more than you need
she's just teasing, she doesn't really care and will probably like what she finds anyway. she wants you, just roll with it.
Lol. You'll fuck it up as you always do.
Don't even bother keeping the date.
She deserves to be with a normal guy not an autistic loser like you
bro you just catfished her. apologize immediately or you're going to get the cops called on you
Once your shirt is off, the sex is imminent anyways. Don't worry OP just get a pump or something if you really mind that much😃
>I'll need a better look Saturday"
>me autism: "okay sure
It's banter, you retard. She's implying that she wants to feel you up/lick your abs.
You people get laid despite your best efforts to fuck it up, I swear to God.
Bruh I wouldn't trust dating her cuz she's 1. From tinder
2. Look at 1
I just want a quick fuck desu
Agreed, haven't smoked in a year so just doing it for some quick pussy
If youre worried about bring autustic while texting, what makes you think smoking weed with her is a good idea?
If she's coming to your house to smoke, you're gonna fuck her. Stop being a retard and just go for it.
>worrying this much about how your abs will look
Lol, you won't even get an erection from all the nervousness, the abs are the least of your worries
Not OP, but I sperg out way more texting than in person. In person I can see her reactions in real time.
>weed
Bitter virgin.
OP girls are dumb, she'll think you have abs. Their standards are shit, remember that.
I'm going to help you out of pity. You're like fucking gollum to me.
1) Answer the door. Give her a hug and a little kiss. Ask her how her day was.
2) Ask her if she wants a drink. Make her a drink if she does. Already have some music playing in your room or living room if you live alone.
3)Small talk. God, I hope you can at least hold a conversation. I'm not writing up a disseration how to do that. Just kys if you can't do it.
4) Ask if she wants to smoke. Sit close to her. Turn on the movie. Smoke/drink. Sit so close you're touching and also gently massage her back after you've taken a few hits. She'll probably tell you this feels good.
5) Kiss her neck, cup her cheek in your hand and tilt her head towards yours and kiss her. Lay her back gently onto couch/bed. Run your hands gently all over her body. Press your cock against her. Hopefully she touches it. If not though it's not a big deal.
5) Softly rub her vagina over her clothes. She'll start moaning, probably rub you over your clothes if she hasn't already. Then undo her pants button and put your hand down her pants and feel her. Rub her clit a little and put your middle finger inside of her.
6) Take her pants off and keep fingering her. She should definitely be touching you at this point. Take your pants off. Put her hand on your dick if she needs prompting. Then get up on your knees and reach for the condoms. Put the condom on. Start fucking her.
THEN AFTER YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING FOR ABOUT 10 to 15 seconds YOU WILL FINALLY TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!
AND NO ONE WILL FUCKING CARE YOU PITIFUL AUTISMO SPERG!
CAUSE. YOU'RE. ALREADY. FUCKING. HER.
You're Welcome,
T.Chad Thundercock
This is literally a walkthrough from Dating Ariane.
She already likes you op, she doesn't give af how chiseled your abs are
Don't overthink it man
Jow Forums autist here, here's how you can lose the most body fat in 5 days
5 days is not a lot, but you can manage to lose water weight and make significant difference in terms of how you look with it.
Start drinking a fuckload of water. A lot, constantly. You should be pissing nearly clear water. Decrease the sodium and carbohydrate intake immensely. No fast food junk food garbage and no pasta/bread. Just meat/eggs and veggies. Keep this for 4 days and the last day you stop drinking water and increase carb intake. Your body will still be in the water flushing mode even though you ain't drinking it and you will lose all the water weight that usually makes you look "bloated". Night before drink 2-3 shots of vodka so you wake up even more dehydrated visually.
Voila you're vascular as fuck, veins popping out gimmick achieved.
Step two, body hair. Trim it with the electric razor to with the short guard on, just to make it all clean and uniform so your abs definition get's out. Don't do it only if you're Tom Selleck mode body hair.
Step three, lighting in the room where you will fuck. Make sure the main light is directly above you so your abs cast a shadow on each other, making them look even more pronounced.
And after you do all this preparation she actually doesn’t come and leaves you on seen forever