Wtf am I supposed to say robots? I've never approached a woman before let alone talked to one intimately, any advice?

say your a mormon and ask if ear sex is okay

Make a funny yet but not offensive comment about something in her bio.
If you are really good looking and she is American, start sexting right away. If not, exchange pointless messages until she runs out of excuses for coming on a date with you.
Enjoy the Tinder experience user

that's all i have. do i really need to pay someone to take a picture of me? it makes no difference. fuck that shit

Wibalib a ding dong

If I had to rate myself I'd probably be a 6/10 because my big ass shnoze fucks up my entire facial aesthetic so I'm not sure this will work

Yeah I know that most girls on tinder are only here for an ego boost but still I want to try and make an impression

Um, last time I checked, god wasn't real...

I got a couple non selfie pictures in there but tinder says my selfie one is the most popular one

>Enjoy the Tinder experience user
it's not really enjoyable if you aren't really good looking

Does she have kids OP?

false, 90% of gals will message you back if you message them in less than 3 days since the match with something that isn't retardedly boring.

Honestly, for average guys, 90+% of Tinder convos die out like in a day or two.

So don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just chat to her like she was a friend of yours and if it goes nowhere, so what?

I don't believe so not mentioned in her bio and she's only 18

if it takes you over a day to make a move or get her number you're fucking up boy

18 huh? Do you guys happen to live in the same location?

Good one user might consider doing this if I dont have the balls to make a move

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Apparently she's only 6 miles from my location which is good news if we actually hit things off

That's pretty close, good luck if you end up meeting her.

Based and redpilled
And also original

OP here after an agonizing 30 minutes I came up with this please don't berate me too hard

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>ur a mormon and ask if ear sex is okay
best thng ive ever fucking seen

KEK. Literally Indian facebook stalker tier. Enjoy inceldom!

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dude we fucking told you what to say. There's like 13 years of evidence demonstrating that /b/ absolutely can get you laid if you follow exactly what they say. Why the fuck don't you listen?

thats actually pretty good, good job op!

Don't worry, she's got so many other options that she won't even notice your message.

you seem experienced in the incel department

I say this with sincerity, that is not a good thing to say. You sound like a "nice guy". It is cringey. You have wasted this opportunity.

I never got the whole 1 liner bullshit. I mean, both parties know how stupid and cringy they are. Why even bother? She already matched with you which means she's interested or a bot/fag. There's no need to impress her with a shitty 1 liner like a comedian. Just say hi and meet her somewhere. Or if you're chad, just say "ready to fuck?".

Oh dear. I just hope she humors you.

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this is just flat out cringe.

Let me try to explain why this is so bad: She knows she has tits, and ass, and hips, and lips. She knows it. She knows you notice them. She knows you notice them more than anything. They are all hunks of flesh that exist on her body solely as sexual markers.

It is stupid to ignore them. Don't lose your mind over them, but don't ignore them. By being as vanilla as possible, by painstakingly avoiding the majority of her body and instead complimenting her "eyes and personality", you make it painfully obvious and awkward that you are, in fact, obsessed over those body parts you dare not point out, and furthermore scared to even admit what you want.

You blew it, you sniveling horny little creep

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What have you done OP? LMAO

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I might have sacrificed my pride and dignity but at least a got some (You)'s in the process I really hope none of you guys are as stupid as me

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At least someone matched with you. That's more than I'll ever get.

Did she reply?

hurts physically

holy shit op tell us if she responds

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>those (You)'s
Guarantee some faggot is going to post this on reddit. Put me in the screencap.

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It's okay, user. You gave it your best shot. Despite being a mediocre shot, you still took it, which takes courage. Learn from this, and march forward towards the dawn.

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>because your eyes look like shit

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No reply yet but I doubt i'll be getting one

Follow up with "p-pls respond"

Seriously might as well, it can't possibly get any worse

You can always go gay if you can't get a girl and desperate of needing a relationship user.

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If she ends up ghosting you, say this op PLEASE

Thanks user hopefully I can be an inspiration to all the people on this board on what not to do when it comes to tinder

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Hehehe fuk it dood

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DUDE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>he actually did it
OP you're a madman

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no no no NO NO AAAH

You absolute legend you

type in your Puerto rican accent

Any other requests? It's only a matter of time before she unmatches, let me be the conduit of which you express your rage towards the female gender

what in the fucc

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sweet jesus... OP's lost his fuckin mind

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Send her that copypasta about how this app only encourages women to be picky while they have nothing to offer but their depreciating looks and disease ridden vaginas.

"Alright last chance slut"

Holy shit user the first text was bad, but it was salvageable. Shits gone now

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Answer while my cock is hard you bitch

I wanna see this pasta

>This app fuels the female egotistical and narcissistic nature by giving them the selfie culture they crave and a smorgasbord of cock to choose from. This in turn transforms most of these girls into picky bitches with shitty attitudes, who believe they are "special snowflakes". Most of you females on here have nothing to offer but your depreciating looks and your worn out disease ridden vagina

Here you go, be a hero!

"Listen bitch, reply to me or you won't get my huge bwc and your mother will die"

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How's this? Origogogo

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absolutely based

orig

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I'm gonna be an hero by the end of this

It would be hilarious if you pretented these messages never happened now and tried to continue a normal conversation

keep going OP until she responds

>based and redpilled
>absolutely madlad

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Great idea user I'll show this whore who's boss

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this will do nicely, keep em coming my mang

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from the research i did online and from what normies say, you have to make wenches laugh and they'll like you. best of luck op

Fucking zoomer. Officially gay thread.

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op just unmatch with her before she reads all of this
save yourself the embarrassment

Where's the fun in that? This is repentance for that awful pickup line I sent

It's not like he's ever going to see this girl or interact with her again. Might as well get some entertainment out of it.

>So uh yeah how's your day goin?

>are you an archeologist?
But originally

Bless you user. You may have not lost your virginity today but atleast you entertained us autists

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forgot to post picture, nice work op

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oh no nono NO NON ONONO
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

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holy fuck that physically hurts to rread

OP here she has yet to post a reply, i'm gonna go to bed and think about my actions and hopefully not an hero myself. I'll post another thread if she responds.

Bruh it takes 30min to a couple hours for girls to respond on tinder. They have 10000 matches and only pick up the app 1-3 times a day

Her loss then I guess she blew it

Actually original shit since op a fag

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Ey good attitude at least. Remember that women are only side quests in life. You get a fucking career and when you're done with main story you go get an 7/10qt and get kids

Wtf, how do you even get to this point?

>So uh yeah how's your day goin?
if that was your first message she might've answered

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Ask her out in less than 5 texts.

Dont ask for her permission

Bad: >Hey you wanna go for coffee?

Good: >Im going to this coffee place at x day at x time, you should come with me.

Your not on tinder to become pen pals, your on there to set up dates.

Godspeed faggot.

Hahaha absolutely lost it desu lad. Say all that stuff before was your cat running across your keyboard

Oh pls post this

Who knows but i think shes being used and doesnt realize it lmfaoo

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>implying a woman using tinder or the like is actually capable of having a decent conversation

Dream on. Most of them are stupid fuckers who can't go beyond a mere "hi" or the like. Fuck, just delete that damn app, it won't help you. In fact it will most likely just crush your self-esteem as most will ignore you after a few sentences, no matter how fucking creative you are (like being creative is possible in the first place if most of them don't even have a single fucking word in their shitty profiles).

It's an app created for bored, attention seeking low-life scum thots who you shouldn't be looking after. Have some decency.

OP. Stop. Do yourself a favor. Approach real women instead and overcome your inner autist. Puss is far more satisfying this way plus it may help you develop some social skills, y'know? Good shit that you may actually need.