Any event that had a lasting effect on your psyche and sexual preferences?
My nanny and her husband diddled with my asshole (enough to bleed) when I was 5, now i have a very high libido and only get off to degraded and dominated females, not bdsm gay shit but actual misery, pain, fear, disgust in the act, I think it's the concept of total power over someone that arouses me. lol
I got cucked and now it's a fetish I can't get rid of.
It wasn't the case before the cucking? What gets you off? I really don't understand ntr
No I hated it and when I discovered it I freaked out. When it became the way of the relationship though I ended up enjoying it but couldn't help myself. There's something appealing about being with a guy so desired by multiple girls, and also being underneath a superior girl. I hate that I like it and it's a shameful secret but it's the way it is.
Oh ok i think I get it. So it's like, a bit gay
I sucked off my dad when I was 5. He groomed me before that and probably things happened after but maybe I repressed it.
I like blood but only on a consensual passionate level. And I'm quite vanilla
I'm a bit of a cunt though tbqh
A taller girl slid down the slide and knocked me over into her lap, she laughed and squeezed me for a bit. :^)
How was it being groomed? Did you find the acts normal? Did you feel disgust?
Absolutely. My mother raped me as a toddler (finger penetration) and now I'm butch (no matter how hard I try not to be, even when I change my appearance, I still come off as a tomboy), bisexual, and have a love/hate relationship with women as a whole.
>10 years old
>Go in kitchen
>Mom, her friend and older sister are there
>Pull out knife and put it to my throat
>Tell them I'm gonna slit my throat right in front of them while crying my eyes out
>They laugh and tell me to do it
There's other stuff too but most of it was over a long period of time, there weren't really many big events that happened that dramatically changed me but rather a drawn out fuck up of a life
Brother molested me from about 7-13 years old regularly. Blackmailed me to keep me quiet. Family didn't believe me when I told them. Creeped on me until I was 16 and caught him filming me in the shower and had a breakdown, called my mum and he had to admit to it. They still don't know about anything else that happened and force me to pretend everything is fine with him at family events. Yeah it's fucked me up pretty bad I'm extremely submissive now and suicidal.
yeh me, I have lasting physical trauma since I was so little. This thread is based
I was raised by black women my whole life. As you know, single mothers are serial bad-decision makers so I am a fucked up adult because of my childhood.
I'm not attracted to black women unless they're at least 8/10 and I have a femdom fetish, but I am terribly afraid of women. I get uncontrollably horny when I think about getting beat up by girls. I really want a cute girl to beat me up but I don't even know how I would approach one to make it happen.
Are you a girl? Could you see yourself ever taking your anger out on someone?
Yes I am but no I dont want to take my anger out on anyone but myself
Even if they paid you?
yeah, have been ass raped before.
I wasn't a child, but it still traumatized me.
I was fucked up before that so who knows.
I don't think trauma has as big effect on your psyche as people think, BUT i believe it strongly affects your moods and I believe in PTSD.
I was already a schizo asexual ftm when i got raped.
this is not a trauma.
this is probably not a trauma.
not a trauma.
My biological parents used to treat me more as a house servant than a child. My father would use me for sexual relief. I have an eighth grade education and neet in my adopted parent's extra room.
kevin wendell crumb
Um why would anyone pay me to hurt them that's mean user
Life was a series of traumas. Most of which I have repressed.
Because I feel like I need women to hurt me to feel anything
I went to a catholic school with nuns. When I was around 10 for some reason they would send me to the nurses office and make me take down my pants and would around the room with my pants around my ankles. I was never touched or molested. To this day I dont know what the fuck it was about. I moved to a different town a year later so nothing ever happened to me after that.
That's illogical you could hurt yourself to feel the same pain for free
It's not the same, I need a woman to do it, and she has to be attractive. If she's willing to have sex with me that's even better because I will be extremely horny.
Oh good luck finding that I don't think I'd be able to hurt someone not even for money
my father was a absolute retard, abuser and horrible in every way possible, acted more like i was a pet, when i achieved something i would be talked about, otherwise nothing, expected me to know everything, beat my siblings and me and mym om for litterally no reason, just alot of more horrible shit until i finally got enough money to move me and my mom out, now the basterd found my new apartment again, thanks to that i can't handle conflict or stress at all
Like I said that's the only incident I can remember. I don't feel much for it
I watched my sister lose her virginity in a crude and debasing way, felt completely humiliated yet am secretely turned on by it. Thats the closest I have to a trauma.
>mum
Either British or Aus/NZ. If only some things were different you'd be my dream
British but how did you conclude that I'm almost your dream by reading this story?
When I was 10 my parents took me to Surfers Paradise beach. It was the first time Ide seen topless female sun bathers. One day a woman came and sat down near our family, about 15 metres. Took off her top and exposed her white tipped breasts then took off her bottoms and laid there in the sun totally naked on a pulic beach metres from me. I was so angry, frustrated and confused. I was aroused byt it but didnt understand what the emotions were or how to release them. I became incredibly sexually frustrated, deviant and perverted. I wanted to perform sex acts on women all through my teens but never could. I grew a massive disdain for females because I could act thse out, I could have the flesh that I sought. I was not allowed to own what i wanted and it mad made me hate women. To this day even after having had sex with multiple partners I cant get the image of that cunt out of my head. I wanted to go back in time and bash her head head in, rape her corpse, cut off her tits so she cant show them to me or anyone ever again.
I cant get off to normal vanilla sex anymore, I masturbate to degrading porn, rape, fantasize about raping and killing women, hurting them and watching them suffer.
Can someone explain how this works to me? How getting touched as a kid makes you develop uncommon or more hardcore sex interests.
>Any event that had a lasting effect on your psyche and sexual preference
yes
dear sweet agatha ghosting the interweb
>I was already a schizo asexual ftm when i got raped.
you got raped because you are a schizo asexual lol
why did you say that?
original
Because I been through some tough times too. Forgive me but if you change your story to your dad doing the horrible stuff and your hatred being outward rather than at yourself... hnng
If only I could do bad things with someone who has been hurt.
It changes chemical balance in your brain and gives you warped views of what sex is or should be
This is pretty interesting. Did masturbating not help?
Does emotional trauma count? I was in a Relationship from 10-17 with a guy who constantly told me I should kill and hurt myself, he even told me how. He cheated on me and told me I was worthless and then threatened to hurt himself if I didn't send him naked pictures. I'm in to being used / hurt sexually now. Might be related, might not.
No it doesnt. Its merely just a bodily release.
Its supposed to be illegal for women to be nude in public. And for good reason.
It was after a big fight we had. Me and my family always fought and I had a fucked up life like I said. I was mad and at the time I was still young. I realize I did it for attention but really at the time there was a big part of me that wanted to do it.
When I was 9ish (like a month before I would turn 10) I used to go to a church where I met a "friend" and this supposed friend I used to hang out. One day we were hanging out at my place, until he got a near empty bottle of febreeze, and sprayed it so much I was chokeing on it. That's when he put me onto a matress I was gonna move into my room out on the porch and butt fucked me, now I don't even know if sex is worth it. Also I'm a dude who got butt fucked by another dude, so does that mean I lost my virginity?
Mental, emotional, and sexual trauma from my circumcision