Fembot Feels Thread

Misogyny-free safe space to discuss our feels

>tfw no qt bf to make delicious tendies and veggies and club sandwiches for

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Women are the niggers of gender and are so far in the closet they found narnia

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>tfw you're off by one on triple dubs

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Outwardly normal, well-adjusted guy here. Ask me anything about the male gender and I'll try to give you honest answers.

>tfw you get triple dubs checking you're failed triple dubs

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>Off by five on getting triple dubs again

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>trying to establish a misogyny free space on one of the most misogynistic boards on this site
sorry kiddo, the game was rigged from the start

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why are you in this thread thou?

>tfw no qt bf to make delicious tendies and veggies and club sandwiches for

I thought you were going on a diet you fat whore

I'm a wagie who's bored at work, and I've never really been to R9K, so I find femcels kind of fascinating. I'm not trying to be a dick.

I can be on a diet and still want to make delicious club sandwiches for a qt boy

REMINDER

THIS IS A MISOGYNY-FREE ZONE

Fembots exist and they cant tell anyone in community's as a non user because dumb orbit faggots.
I run discord server and ban all females but if they keep it secret they are fine.
It is only roasties that are an issue not fembots

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Question for fembots:
How would you feel if you started dating a guy you really like, but then he asked you to roleplay as a flamboyantly gay sissy during sex?

Hypothetically, if one of you were my gf, would you make me a sandwich that isn't a club sandwich?

I assume you're all so turned on by the idea that you can't free your hands up to type an answer.

She looks kinda horrifying.

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Still here huh? Guess you waisted the whole day posting on Jow Forums instead of exercising again, fatty. Always tomorrow I guess.

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If you see an uptight impossible-to-please bossy woman, do you assume she has this attitude because she's dick-starved? Also how often do you wonder what women are like in bed? Thanks.

tfw you don't have a gf to hug and smell her perfume

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I would be freaked out but I would keep dating him as long as he never brought that up again.

I can make an ok tuna melt.

why have there been so many fembot threads lately? Has there been a large influx of women coming here recently or something?

I don't assume that kind of attitude comes solely from not getting the dick, but I do often wonder if a hard fuck would loosen the woman up a bit (literally and figuratively).

I'm a horny as fuck oilfield worker, so if I see any woman on the street, chances are I'm wondering what she's like in bed. Not necessarily picturing them naked, but I wonder how kinky she might be, and how her facial expressions and voice and breathing change when she's having sex. For me, nothing is sexier than hearing a woman's breathing when I slip it in, I can't explain it further than that.

I imagine it would be way too funny for me to continue. Uncontrollable laughter and sex don't seem to mix too well but idk

If you ever get a woman in bed, for the love of god don't say this to her, user.

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And here I thought fembots were open-minded and different from other stacies.

I feel like sex would be pretty fuckin weird if you didn't laugh at the awkward/strange shit that happens sometimes.

Are you the guy who wants a woman to act like an effeminate man while you're fucking her?

Yeah, and also if you could refer to your anus as your "boipucci."

So.........I think it's safe to ask why don't you just go and do a guy then. It's clearly what you crave.

Because I'm not gay. I just wish women today would be more feminine.

>tfw males are cursed beings incapable of fidelity
I want to be fully asexual/aromantic so badly, are women capable of being chemically castrated?

this could be made up, but i hope you get your qt bf op. you're worth it.

That's true, but it's not usually full out uncontrollable laughter. I'm not even weirded out by the situation, but the idea of me talking dirty while acting like an effeminate man would really get me goin

>come to a place to feel better about myself and how shit my life is
>roastie whore cunts ruin that too
There really is nowhere safe left

I'm a guy, and every girl I've dated has cheated on me, sometimes in really cruel ways.
All I want is a relationship where we like each other enough that cheating would be out of the question.

Will you date a hopeless romantic robot?

So I wanted to do something nice for my wife and she keeps making me pancakes every morning and I wanted to do something nice for her and make pancakes back. Thing is I didn't really know how to make them so I had to ask her to teach me and now I hoard the knowledge like it's an eldritch secret and can't stop making pancakes for myself.

Still I feel the need to one up myself and make something else for her so what I really wanted to ask is, what's a good food to wake up to that a retard can make?

I think you've spent too much time on this website, lad.

Be careful, user. Wallowing in self pity is addictive and ultimately pointless.

Yeah well, so is life on Earth.

>health issues
>in very bad pain right now
>pain meds do nothing
>also sick as a dog
>sneezing every 20 minutes
>sneezing is unbelievably painful right now
>still unemployed and slowly running out of money, am now entering credit card debt to sustain myself
I don't know what god I must have insulted but I'm willing to sacrifice a live chicken if you'd stop. I just want to be moe and all of this shit is decidedly un-moe.

Would you really fuck every girl given she would want to? If no one found out? Are men destined to cheat? Are relationships just shit you put up with to get constant sex? Are you guys actually capable of love and bonding with a life partner? Or is it just a meme? Would you dump your gf or cheat assuming she had a good personality given the chance with a more attractive one?

If you can't make scrambled eggs and toast, just give up.

>pan, nice and medium
>4 eggs
>crack them into a bowl
>add a couple tablespoons of milk
>mix it up with a fork or a whisk
>teaspoon of butter in the pan, let it melt, move it around a bit to coat the bottom
>dump egg mixture into pan
>salt and pepper the eggs
>let it cook, stirring and mixing it every minute or so until the liquid disappears and it looks like pic related
>make toast
>put on plate
>cartwheel upstairs and throw at wife's head

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lol i don't think you should be on Jow Forums then

If you're a girl and you find yourself wishing for a boyfriend but are unable to get one then:

a. You are Fat
b. You are Ugly.
c. Both a and b.

Nah, it's probably a dude larping. The fact that they're so easy to identify ("she" mentions club sandwiches in every post) makes me think it's for attention.

I make waffles from time to time. They're pretty similar to pancakes, but different enough to add some variety to your cooking. Bread is nice, too. Make small rolls that one can have as a snack.

So let's look at types of guys:
1. Smart genuine guy.
2. Dumb genuine guy.
3. Smart asshole.
4. Dumb asshole.

Now, let's do a thought experiment: Create a national religion out of the idea that trying to court women is misogynistic sexual harassment and that, if you make a woman uncomfortable with your approaches -- even by accident -- you've done one of the creepiest, most embarrassing and possibly criminal things a man can possibly do.

Now refer to our 4 categories and see if you can pick out which men will be deterred from approaching women -- out of self-preservation and/or respect for what women are saying they want -- and which will be oblivious about and/or willing to ignore what women say they want.

I'm not saying you didn't personally get unlucky, but I do think you should consider who may be attempting to speak for you and how that might be impacting your dating pool.

Not him, but I would fuck any girl I as in a relationship with, and my physical standards for relationships are pretty low. I think casual sex is gross, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority on that opinion. Everyone's different, though, and you can't learn all there is to know about men just by asking one or two dudes on r9k.

Ahem. You may very well learn a thing or two by asking *me* about shit, but then again nobody ever listens to me.

>no qt boy to lay my head on and snuggle in his chest

>no qt boy to spoon me

w h y l i v e

>would you fuck every girl if she'd want to
Honestly? Yeah.This question doesn't mean much without context though, as I feel like most single men and women would fuck their fill of willing partners, if given the chance. Are you asking if I'd fuck every willing woman, while also being in a relationship? Then no, I hold myself to a higher standard than that, which is something my father taught me (just one of many reasons why boys need a worthy male role model in their life)
>if no one found out?
I'm a guy, so the more women I've slept with and the more people know about it, the more desirable I become as a friend to other men and potential mate to women. I don't necessarily agree with this "system", but that's the way it is.
>are men destined to cheat?
Not at all, but a large percentage will if given the chance - just like a large percentage of women will. I've never cheated on a girlfriend.
>are relationships just shit you put up with to get constant sex?
That's the initial reason in the vast majority of cases, but that doesn't mean it can't blossom into more. There's an entire subgenre of chick flicks dedicated to this concept.
>are you guys actually capable of love and bonding with a life partner?
Of course. The trick is recognizing the difference between fuckboys and real men, which 99% of women are hilariously inept at (and then they blame the fuckboys)
>would you dump your gf or cheat assuming she had a good personality given the chance with a more attractive one?
Not personally but, again, a lot of men will (and again, like a lot of women will as well). I feel like I value personality and quality of conversation higher than most, but there does have to be some physical chemistry there as well.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in your early 20s and still enamoured with chads and fuckboys.

does she like sweet breakfasts or salty breakfasts?
I'd recommend french toast or an omelet respectively

>fem-
AHAHAHAHA
>bot
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*inhales*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

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Different well adjusted, outwardly normal guy here.
>Would you really fuck every girl given she would want to? If no one found out?
No. Most men actually have standards and preferences, flexible as they may be. That said, there are quite a few guys who'll take whatever they can get.
>Are men destined to cheat?
Not all, probably not even most, but there are definitely a lot of scoundrels out there.
>Are relationships just shit you put up with to get constant sex?
Not for me, no. It is true for many guys though. I'm not one to advice childish shit tests, so don't take this as one, but if your partner has turned down sex once or twice, you can be certain they're in the relationship for genuine reasons. But that will give you a lot of false negatives if you use it as a test, so don't.
>Are you guys actually capable of love and bonding with a life partner? Or is it just a meme?
Yeah totally. My dad did it, my brother did it, I hope to do it eventually. It's not a meme.
>Would you dump your gf or cheat assuming she had a good personality given the chance with a more attractive one?
No, because I'm not complete scum. I haven't been in that situation, so I'm not sure that I wouldn't break up if my gf were legitimately repulsive, but I definitely wouldn't cheat. I think most guys agree on this one. The important part is that I would have to find my gf *unattractive* not just less attractive, if that distinction makes sense.

>TL;DR pick your partners carefully, there's lots of good men out there, but you have to look for them and be proactive.

because you might find one by shitposting in a fembot thread?

pls be east coast pls be east coast pls be east coast pls be east coast

So femamons, how is a man to make his intentions of dating you up clear when asking you out?

I'm gonna keep asking this,
How do I get a fembot gf?

can i make money being a twitch thot if im only average looking

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i'm not a cumdumpster, but here's an opening line you lads can work with
>hey, excuse me. i hope this isn't too forward, but i noticed you sitting over here and i knew if i didn't at least introduce myself, i'd spend the rest of the afternoon wishing i had
it's worked for me quite often to break the ice, but i'm an outgoing dude who's really good at talking to strangers for whatever reason, so your mileage may vary.

of course, dumbass. just wear a low cut/tight shirt and act flirty

I mean, I don't have problems introducing myself and getting to spend time alone with them, I'd just rather avoid getting into `friendzone`.

By giving me your discord

Hey I have the opposite problem. Let's team up for polygamous marriage.

I guess we'll never meet but pass on your knowledge and if it works with this girl I'm currently eyeing up I will remember you for years to come

If you're spending time alone with them, you're already 90% of the way there, lad. Find an excuse to get close to her, take her hand/brush her hair back from her cheek/cup your fingers under her chin, gently turn her face to yours, make and hold eye contact, move in for a kiss, see how she responds. Don't do it in public, unless you're Heath Ledger reincarnated, because it'll make it awkward for her.

So it's all about the kiss. Figured as much, that's what gave me success last time. Thanks user, maybe you'll end up hearing an update some time in the future. We'll see how shit goes

madpupil.com peep

>have a lovely conversation with a Norwegian on here
>says he'll email me more photos he's taken of his country
>make email for him
>realize I need to verify it a week later of not getting an email
>only way to verify is by text with a fancy phone
>only woman in the world without a phone
Fuuuuuudge

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You got dubs, so alright.
KoolaidBerryBlue#4357

I recommend going "90%" on the kiss, meaning
>hand on cheek/back of neck
>pull her lips close to yours (aka 90% of the way there)
>hesitate for only a second
>if she goes the final 10%, you're golden
>if she doesn't pull back, go the final 10% and again judge how she reacts (breathing is a big tell)
>if she does pull back, cut bait and GTFO
yeah, this is literally from a will smith movie, but it works.

>tfw no gf that has the same passion for things as me
Why are femanons always interested in the same things? I've talked to quite a lot of you and your personality varies little. Also please stop lying about your age girls

what are you into thats so rare

What im into isnt rare, its just rare among the girls here, the only thing they are intersted in is traveling, anime, and vidya, sometimes fashion and generic music.

thanks for not answering the only thing i asked i guess

I'm into reptiles, spiders, and white power.

Fine. I'm into spit porn, user. Like where two girls are just rubbing spit all over each others' faces and chests. What are you into?

Where's my fembot from Luxembourg?

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Why do women come to r9k? What do you get out of browsing here? Are you so masochistic that you enjoy being in a place where tons of people constantly spit toxic shit at you? I browse here because I'm a lonely guy who relates to other lonely guys, but I have no idea why a women would browse here other than maybe for getting attention from random internet guys.

Where do I find fembots in real life

i browse here because i am as lonely as you user.
although i don't browse as often as i used to because yeah this place is pretty toxic (not only for women), but i don't know where else i can interact with friendless losers like me.

well you got me there guys im into none of those things

i like fighting games and taxidermy

luxembourg niggas represent

If you stopped playing vidya you would be interesting. Grow up

Fighting games are cool. I dunno anything about taxidermy, though. Why do you like taxidermy?

hey there friend, you from here too?

idk, i just like preparing animals and preserving them. there's something rewarding about taking a dead animal and making it look alive again- especially since i mostly scavenge roadkill so it's nice to clean up something so mangled.

The 2 places I've heard of are crystal.cafe and lolcow. I know those places are a bit of a meme and obviously not as lively as r9k but you'd probably be better off there than here since you won't get shit just for existing there even if it does get man-hatey from time to time.

>tuna melt.
disgusting. no wonder you're alone.

Every fembot deserves to be comfy

>I smelt' tuna melt, but I wasn't gonna worry
>it was 3 AM, and I wasn't getting squat
>so I rolled you up in flour, and aimed it for the wet spot

I guess that makes sense. Don't you have to worry about disease, though? I used to go on walks a lot when the weather was better, and it was morbidly interesting to watch roadkill possoms and raccoons I passed by slowly turn into skeletons as the months went by. I think the bones look nice, because of how clean they are, but I don't particularly like roadkill.

Oh man, you gotta try spit play! You have no idea what you're missing. If you give me your discord, I could arrange to send you some of my spit.

>If you had fewer hobbies you would be more interesting

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If you're over 16 and playing video games you are not interesting, you are a child. Spend your time honeing a craft such as art or maths. Raise a garden to prosperity, write a book, don't waste your time on something that will lead to nowhere but darkness.

>Consuming art is a waste of time
You sound like you have a vibrant and interesting life.

I'm gonna keep asking this,
How do I get an autist gf?

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There are many better forms of art that can actually improve your life, consume those instead.