*BOOM BOOM CRASH*

*BOOM BOOM CRASH*

This strapping young lad just broke into your house and you have 10 seconds to respond. What does Jow Forums do?

Attached: boomboomcrash.jpg (1283x962, 655K)

Masturbate faster

assume the position

Ask if I can feel his arms

I get on my knees and offer him to suck his cock while sticking my tongue and i start to beg for his cum

Wonder how I became a homeowner

Fucking blow his God damn brains out because it's the last freedom I have left

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Grab my gun

Shout out the N-Word and hear him cry.

>shoot for double leg
>suplex him
>neck breaks

Shout loudly 'AY UP ME LAD IT'S THE OLD BILL, GOT YER' OUSEBREAKIN' LOICENSE OR ARE ME AN YOU GONNA HAVE TO TAKE A WALK DOWN THE STATION'

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU

Shoot

CHEEKI BREEKI!!!!

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>hide behind a doorway with a gun
>jump and overpower him
>"Now, let's see that mouth!"
>*unzips*

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nigger would get curbstomped after i put a bullet in each of his legs

Wonder how he got through two security doors, the concierge and got to my floor without a pass

Put 10rd of .45 in his chest, reload, another 10rd in his face

>be me, 22 y/o fitizen
>training naked alone in my garage gym
>*boom* *boom* *crash*
>the fuck was that?
>rack my squat bar
>step around all the empty containers of whey on the ground
>stumble into my house
>6’ 4”, 300 lbs nigger standing in my living room. His back is to me.
>strike my Zyzz pose
>”y-you mirin’ my gainz, brah?”
>he turns around, sees my half-boner
>I always get hard on squats
>the nigger becomes confused ”what the fuck??”
>”y-you lift, brah?”
>turn around and hit that double lat spread
>he sees my ruby encrusted squat plug
>the nigger takes a step back “what’s this gay shit??”
>I get mad. Turn around and hit my Jojo pose
>AwakenMyMasters.mp8
>”N-no you!”
>my rebuttal fries him on the spot. He burns to ash in my living room
>smells like fried chicken now
>go back into my garage and finish my workout

Lock the door behind him and prepare a believable excuse

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>I get mad. Turn around and hit my Jojo pose
>AwakenMyMasters.mp8

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invite him to play smash bros

>GET EM, MACHOKE!

More like “bro, he smashed your window”
Imagine letting a nigger touch your controller

pull the blanket over my head and try not to breathe loudly. Has worked 100% my whole life, ive never been attacked by night daemons.

Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise
Playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday
You got mud on your face, you big disgrace
Kicking your can all over the place, singin'
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you

Cower in the corner with my unlicensed butter knife whislt calling the police who say they don't have the resources but say they will be right round when I say I am prepared to defend myself.

Like a good bong subject

The creatine jester in my cabinet consumes his gains, leaving him a dry husk

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Another classic Jow Forums post that will surely garner many upboats when reposted to reddit.

Trying too hard.

hearty kek

>What is lighting?
He's white, poltard.

>Be me
>4 weeks ago
>Live in a white neighbourhood in the country
>Family across the street moves out about 6 weeks ago
>New family moved in
>Go to meet them
>Blacks
>Moved here from California
>They seem friendly enough
>Their son is about 20, skinny twink, cap on backwards, vest top, really into rap apparently
>So basically a criminal then
>Go back home
>Move shotgun from study into bedroom, keep it on the floor next to my bedside cabinet
>Loaded, safety on
>Waiting for the day when i can send this nog to the afterlife legally

Thinking about purchasing a handgun for in the bathroom just in case he tries his shit while i'm having a piss.