Hot girl I barely know messages me on facebook

ok fren i believe you

I raise your fake fumbling free sex story with my REAL one!

>Be me like fucking 4 years ago 22, I think
>Finally decide to grow a pair and go on some tinder dates
>Went on two dates and didn't really get anywhere because I have no idea how to make a move
>Match with some hot girl that says she's into BDSM
>I message her all the time and pretend like I'm some dom stud and shes all into but never agrees to meet up
>One day she randomly messages me asking me to pick her up from some party at like fucking 2am
>Have mini panick attack and decide to drive the like 20 minutes to pick her up
>I pick her up, apparently she's been drinking all night but didn't seem that drunk
>I stop at a coffee shop on the drive back because I need to piss
>When I park the car she lunges across my cars median and kisses me
>I don't know what's going on but reciprocate
>That was my first kiss
>Anyways were talking I drive her home and she's about to go inside but at this point I figure I can kiss her since we already did earlier
>She then asks if we can have sex at my place
>Live with my parents and it's late so say "Uhmnn no."
>We're suppose to go on a date like the next day and she says '"Well can we have sex tomorrow?"
>I go "Uhmnn maybe"
>Mind you this is after talking a big game over text about how I'm gunna spank her and finger her asshole and all this
>She's like "Ok."

There was no follow up date. In hind sight I should've just fucker her in the back of my car but I probably would've been so unconfident and nervous my dick probably wouldn't have even worked.

>>I don't know what to say, so I start talking about the history of the Postal Service
Brilliant. Inspired. Well done user.

lol np mate, you just have to fake it IRL the same as you faked it online
at least you didn't get all the way to the sex part and then go limp or some shit, that'd be far worse
maybe next time around just don't talk such a big game and you'll be able to better deliver too, idk

Just end it faggot

oh man its awful getting to the sex part but being so nervous and uncomfortable that you go limp. Thats happened to me and made me want to kill myself but its usually the girls fault.

>oh man its awful getting to the sex part but being so nervous and uncomfortable that you go limp. Thats happened to me and made me want to kill myself but its usually the girls fault.
heh
yeah I just prefer sex in a committed relationship, not for this reason alone, but it's a nice side-benefit that you can just gloss over shit like this or it never comes up in the first place

>red wine that's been in my fridge for 3 years
Why the fuck did you put red wine in your fridge you idiot

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I wish I could find a committed relationship. Longest I had was 3 months and it was very unhealthy. Most of the sex ive had was with escorts. Not OP btw.

To keep it chilled, obviously.

I've spent most of my adult life in one desu, the notion of one night stands just doesn't appeal to me. Hope you can find someone but I don't have any good advice unfortunately. I think if things don't work out with the current gf I'll become a Mormon just to find a virginal woman... kek

Dude, you don't keep wine in your fridge.
This is coming from a french.

>I start talking about the history of the Postal Service
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Patrick Sherrill the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the wagecucks would tell you. It's a NEET legend.

>Dude, you don't keep wine in your fridge.
it says "serve chilled" on the bottle

Go suck a muslim cock, Frenchie.

What kind of awful cheap wine did you have?
You should keep your wine at around 10 to 15 degree C (convert it to Farenheit or whatever you imperialists use).
Also, you should store the bottles lying, not standing, and you should roll them every year or so.

Serve chilled means you usually put the wine in a bucket of ice to keep it fresh, room temperature will be around 18-22 degree C

Fuck off 56% mutt.

>What kind of awful cheap wine did you have?
>implying anyone can tell the difference between a $40 bottle and a $500 bottle

What drones do you have?

African wine is better chilled. Because it tastes like shit.

Oh trust me, some people can.
Otherwise, just buy a nice sticker and claim it's a very expensive wine, it tricks the brain.

>>I don't know what to say, so I start talking about the history of the Postal Service
this was 100% the right move
keep that bitch on her toes
go postal on that pussy

>Oh trust me, some people can.
multiple double blind tests/studies seem to suggest otherwise

I agree, people can be fooled easily.
But disregarding price tag, label, name and such, when tasting some wine, you can tell if it's good or not.
I can make the difference between a good and a shitty gewurstraminer.

That happens to me all the time.

>history of the Postal Service
The band? Based OP. You did nothing wrong.