Does anyone else here have existential terror every night?
Every time I lay my head down for the night I immediately start thinking of everything I messed up that day, how much time I wasted, all the stuff I need to get done.
But as time goes on my thoughts become less about immediate issues and more about my own mortality, about non-existence, about eternal suffering and whether it would be preferable to eternal non-existence.
Eventually after a couple of hours of that, I start becoming paranoid and worrying that I'm going to have a heart attack and die, that the world is going to end, that everything will end within the next few days.
Last night the room became really cold and I started to wonder if the sun had died or something. I know that's completely retarded and illogical but I was so scared, I had to stand up and look out my window to make sure I could still see the moon. When I couldn't, I got a bit more freaked out.
Sometimes I hear shuffling or creaking noises in the house. I live alone but there are neighbours downstairs, but sometimes I'm worried there's a burglar so I'll get the biggest knife from the kitchen drawer and go downstairs singing childrens songs and preparing the knife for if there's a burglar.
Am I alone in this? Send help please. I don't want to be sleep alone any more. Please.
Does anyone else here have existential terror every night?
I don't get any of that. It sounds like you have no idea how to fall asleep properly.
>It sounds like you have no idea how to fall asleep properly.
How the fuck does one sleep properly
I used to be kept awake at night from paranoid delusions too, user (tickles in my throat were cancer, a rumble in the distance was armageddon, etc). Rest easy from someone who's learned that the world isn't ending today, the sun will come up, you're not dying, your next breath will come, and you have people that care about you. Tell them your concerns or even just say it out loud and hear how silly it sounds. Think about things that make you happy and make goals for the next day. Drink water and try exercising so you can sleep at night. It gets easier.
haha this
not every night, but i pretty much go through that identical process on a regular basis (especially about mortality)
i find the more i have to distract me in my daily life then the less i dwell on it. kratom and things like that can help too, i understand if you aren't about that life though
>and you have people that care about you. Tell them your concerns or even just say it out loud and hear how silly it sounds.
Thank you user, but it really doesn't feel like it.
I live alone in a country I don't barely the language of. My nearest family member is a thousand kilometres away. I don't even have friends anymore. I feel like I'm mentally ill sometimes.
That sucks user; sorry to hear that. Try and find the strength within to overcome it. Making friends and reaching out for help isn't easy but its rewarding to work towards something better. Enjoy the little things and set small, achievable goals. Sleep well user. Make tomorrow better.
>How the fuck does one sleep properly
Relax your body and then silence your internal monologue. I used to have thoughts keeping me awake when I was 5 years old and younger. Eventually I learned to just stop thinking all of that if I wanted to sleep. You should also learn how to sleep; it affects the quality of your life.
teach us your ways
or at least show us where we can learn
The idea of wasting the only life I'll ever get is far scarier than nonexistence.
You have fun with that. I'm going to find a way to live forever. I wouldn't care if I had to sacrifice every other human on earth to acquire it.
I AM GOING TO LIVE FOREVER
I don't know what to tell you, bruv. I can quiet my mind whenever I like. I know a lot of people probably can't or never thought to try, but I am not much like those people at all.
When I was 5, I found that listening to my own breathing would help me fall asleep, since that would silence the thoughts. You could get some books about mindfulness or meditation, I suppose.
I used to have this but then I figured out if I drink myself to sleep every night I can shift the existential terror to when I wake up when I can distract myself one way or another
I used to think of horrific deformations of normal humans. Stuff mad scientists would make out of dead people. Is this a recent thing? How old are you? It might leave once you have to deal with other things
take cute doggie
I'm 22. I've always been afraid of death but for the past month I've been living alone and since then I feel like I'm not the only person in the house. Sometimes I hear creaking or shuffling or see movement in the corner of my eyes. It's reading my message as I type FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
It's what? Dude it's mostly likely just something that's happening now that you've become an adult and are living on your own. I'll stay with you all night if you need:)
I want immortality only so I can be jacked into a matrix where I can live in a happy anime world forever.
Nah mate I gotta pick up my new power supply unit when it arrives, so I should probably go to sleep soonish, it's 5am right now but I really don't want to sleep.
It's only 11:26 rn for me. I can stay up. Plus you seem like you need help
Pls stay the night with me if you are a cute boy
I'm right there with you user. Eternal suffering terrifies me. Sometimes I'll panic just thinking about it. That horrible feeling in your gut that gets worse and worse. Sometimes I think that this life is just a series of lives getting progressively worse and worse forever and that it just isn't that bad yet
Get out of my thread you god damn homo piece of shit, before I fucking fry your brains across my ceiling
Uhhhh lemme no :)
Yes but not that bad. I try to make the ride as comfortable as possible. Still wake up in cold sweats though.
That means that your couscous isn't dead yet. But don't go hard on yourself. Doesn't worth it. You are probably highly intelligent so you won't be played. You can play instead but keep it clean and just. One day you will realized the point of life. No beed to search for it.
Fucking yes, a few nights ago I was thinking of how a few years ago the earth missed a world-ending solar flare but a couple days' worth of rotation and how easy it would be to get completely wiped out by some cosmic shit that nobody could have even seen coming or done anything about. I was almost certain that when I woke up the next morning the entire electrical grid and all the satellites would have been destroyed by a flare and I would starve after like a week.
I'd be fine with that as long as there's no afterlife
I recommended reading some philosophy my friend. I had existential breakdowns every night for months, and no matter what I did to distract myself, it did not help. Frankly, you need to progress towards desensitization when encountering the concept of existence, the same way individuals on this image board become apathetic towards gore. So, to the OP and anyone else having existential crisis, try reading "The Conspiracy Against The Human Race" by Thomas Ligotti. The essay itself is fucking horrifying to read through, but I promise you will get over it and any existential horrors you may have.
Just watch some Chinese cartoons, works for me
When I was a younger I used to have absolute terrors of being locked down onto an empty plane of existence and just feeling infinitely small and minute, and everything as incomprehensibly massive around me, I still get that every now and then and it absolutely locks me in fear gradually forces me into the fetal position against the wall in my bed.
More recently ive started having them about being kidnapped and brutally killed in gruesome and gore-y fashion. Like all of my limbs being ripped and chopped off in tiny bits until the it ends, that kind of thing
Whats weird is that the latter doesnt bother me as much as the former - it just sort of leaves me in strong mental discomfort where realizing the plane of existence I occupy absolutely hurts me
I used to be afraid of looking out at the window at night because I thought I would see someone just standing there in the dark looking at me. If it was me standing there I would be terrified even more.
What changed for me? I haven't felt those terrors since I acknowledged Jesus Christ as the son of God. The demons fear his name.
you should see some (((shrinks))) maybe, the ones that can give you drugs, but be careful because they can numb your mind a lot. i personally hate (((shrinks))), they try to make sure you conform to society because they are not taught/dont have the capability to do much else.
i used to feel a little of what you described, except about zombies and plagues and all that shit. what comforts me is a tulpa/waifu, and being set up as comfy as you can.
i am wishing you the best, perhaps it will all go away over time and you will accept death (but i understand that painful/scary deaths are highly undesirable) and accept the void too. i wish you the best, user.
holy shit i hate myself for being unable to read blocks of text, why cant i type good and why do i always hit the enter key, fucking hell.
i even hit the shift+enter out of habit why am i like this
Eternal suffering is a better choice than eternal nonexistence. To be nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, everything about you has ceased, it's almost unfathomable to even think about. We know the definition of nothing, we understand the basic abstract meanings of it, but we never truly look into just how serious and important the word 'nothing' actually is. An eternity in hellfire and torment is still a better eternity than nonexistence.
Idn about that, i would much rather be nothing at all than have red hot poker shoved up my ass for all eternity
Know that feel OP. The trick is to go to bed before your drug of choice wears off.
If given these only two options, I have to say I can only agree to disagree.
>Does anyone else here have existential terror every night?
Nope, im a Christian. Shit acutally be chill mang.
Does you being scared change the outcome of future in any way? If it's something you can do prevent something you fear, try and do it. If not - why even bother. Why would you voluntarily be sad more than necessary? There are things that you don't have any control over, but it's ok. It's ok not to worry about them.