Free (You)'s

In the words of Max Fischer from 'Rushmore' (1998) "You need to find something you enjoy doing and do if for the rest of your life." I've been trying to quit smoking for years now, and it's become my mission. I enjoy working on it and making progress, and I'd like to apply that effort to other things once I quit.

Wikipedia has articles on pretty much anything. And once you get into one article you can easily keep opening link after link based on anything you come across. It's so huge it's like a library in and of itself. There's even Wikibooks but it's much smaller.

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>So how are you doing?
I've had a headache for days and the summer heat is killing me, my friends I've had since I was 12 are fighting. I just feel more lonely than I have in years, I haven't even used my voice in about four days.
>Has anything noteworthy happened?
Nope
>Have I thought about anything funny recently?
Nope again, sorry I'm so boring,
>Have I accomplished anything?
I've been drawing a shit ton more recently, which makes me a little happy.

So how are you all doing?
Feeling full. Ate lot of lentils and rice

>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?

Done 400ug of LSD on friday. Had a long trip because i took more tabs inbetween the trip. Trip lasted for 16+ hours. I wouldn't consider it bad trip. It was intense as fuck. Recently watched the joe rogan podcast with mike tyson. Apparently mike has done DMT and 5-MeO-DMT.

I might do 5-MeO-DMT and never do drugs again in my life. Might do 600ug of LSD next time and then 5-MeO-DMT.

>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
Hmm. Making jokes or being child like is funny lol

>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?

We all go through accomplishments and enlightenments.

Try not to get down on your luck. When you become pessimistic you frame everything in the worst possible light.
>All I can do is endure
Is that a fact? There is absolutely nothing you can do to make your life better?! That's the end result of hopeless pessimism. You can find a hobby, read books, browse Wikipedia, or anything.

I've been meaning to get into writing too. That's why I got Tarot cards in the first place. Originally I had a pie in the sky idea to write a program to generate random stories from seed values, and the seed values would be something like Tarot. Then I realized if I ever want to write a program to do that I'll have to be able to do it myself so I got the cards. Then I found out people like Steven King used Tarot cards to think of ideas. However lately I've been playing guitar when I'm feeling up to it.

>my friends I've had since I was 12 are fighting
Unfortunately the friends you have when you're young won't be around forever. I'm someone who never had any friends so I don't have any advice for you
>I've been drawing a shit ton more recently, which makes me a little happy
Hopefully I'll be able to do the same with my hobbies. When I first played a game of Chess Titans it felt weird to actually do something. I recorded the game and replayed the pgn on later days and it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Not only was it something I did but it was an expression of my decision making process, like that's me.

I went through a drug phase, but I couldn't keep it under control. Looking back on the time later I was happy but I didn't do anything to warrant the happiness. For example I stopped taking care of myself so I started feeling worse but then I would just smoke some weed and feel good. When it got bad enough it was a dark time in my life, but I don't blame the drugs I blame myself. Weed was recently legalized in my state.

Gonna go out for my next energy drink be back in 15 minutes.

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>So how are you all doing?
im alright, im really tired for some reason
>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
not really thought i had a date but she ghosted me
>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
yes, i made pic related as an inside joke with my m8
>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
im writing a comic and looking for an artist tbqh

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>i made pic related
I made this Courage Wolf compilation to pump me up about cutting down smoking, but by the time I made every hour and a half was easy so I wanted to keep it fresh. Now that I think about it I should have had it as my desktop background before I got the 3rd and 4th energy drink at 6:00 so I'm going to set it now. I've been trying to have just 2 energy drinks a day in addition to cutting down.
>im writing a comic
Is it a full on comic book or a Ben Garrison type of thing where each comic is one idea?

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full blown book. its at 12 pages right now its about the aftermath of a mass shooting and why a certain superhero couldnt stop it

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>i made pic related
Here's an image I almost posted before I thought of the Courage Wolf compilation.

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Hmm, aren't mass shootings below super heroes? Sounds like a Hancock type of deal where he drinks or doesn't want to fight crime.

its set in an alternate reality where there is one shooting at a predominately black elementary school where everyone is murdered. superman is out floating around in space at the time it happened but can hear the shooting happen, and he cant believe his ears because he doesnt believe anyone can be that evil. meanwhile, a rorschach/mr a/ the question type character is trying to find the guy who did it. that character wants to find the guy and kill his children infront of him, because thats justice. superman confronts him beating the fuck out of a mugger and they realize they have polar opposite worldviews, and superman wants to find the shooter and bring him to justice and face the justice system. the rorscach type character says the justice system will be too soft on him. he believes the shooter is pure evil, and evil must be punished. at the climax of the story, the rorscach type guy fights superman, and he captures the shooter and it turns out the shooter was just a scared and angry and confused kid, and he isnt evil, which makes the rorscach type charcacter seriously reconsider his world views, and if he isnt right, then hes wrong, and unable to cope with that he tries to die by suicide by cop, at which point superman saves him, but he takes a cyanide pill and dies anyway, fuck superheroes and fuck superman

If someone is scared and confused I don't think they could pull off a mass shooting, but the judicial system would probably put anyone who commits a mass shooting to death.

However it's interesting to investigate whether or not excessive punishments are evil when they're the ones who are supposed to deal out justice.

>So how are you all doing?
I'm fine, mostly bored, I'm trying to be tired but insomnia's a bitch

>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
As of yet, the most noteworthy thing was having a stalker try to keep adding me on discord, I cycled through like 3 discord accounts until I found the mole that kept giving my username out. In terms of noteworthy future stuff? I plan to adopt a cat soon.

>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
Not really honestly, I like being told jokes than making them, because most of mine can be summarized to "Shit. *Laughtrack Ensues*"

>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
I've started working on the 2nd draft of this book I'm working on, I'm barely 2 pages down, a far distance from the 60 I had previously. I don't really have any accomplishments I'm looking forward to, my life is pretty boring, and I like that.

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Just reading some Dostoevsky and realized Ive gotten less far with a girl than an 1840s suitor gets with a fine lady, they atleast get to hold or maybe kiss their hand, shit Im probably older than the bachelors in the book too

I have a hard time finding why that matters to me

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>If someone is scared and confused I don't think they could pull off a mass shooting, but the judicial system would probably put anyone who commits a mass shooting to death.

they probably would give him the death penalty, but the MC would say that thats still too soft on him. and the shooter would just be an angry and sad character i want him to be as sympathetic as possible sometimes news media will try to understand why someone would do a mass shooting, and theyll say he was a loner and was depressed or whatever and i think some people would genuinely feel bad for them
>However it's interesting to investigate whether or not excessive punishments are evil when they're the ones who are supposed to deal out justice.
well the whole story is supposed to be about mass shootings really dont make any sense. like the whole story so far is the mc thinking the guy who shot up the school was thi scrazy racist nazi klansman but it turns out it was a black kid. people are too quick to judge others for a crime and a shooting at an inner city black elementary school has hate crime written all over it, and everybody thinks it was a racist but it wasnt. the whole story is about failure and how we live in a society that wants to simplify horrific things because horrific things are hard to comprehend

also i make fun of tropes in comics, the mc figures out that superman is clark kent because clark looks like superman and theyre never in the same room together

that image made me laugh, bless you

I'm from Britain so I put my post in britfeels. I'll put it here to I need maximum help

After this she said she was busy (she was genuinely really busy this week I know for a fact) but she started talking to me way more than normal and seemed a bit closer I don't know. I'm planning on asking if she explicitly wants to go on a date next week and see how it goes. I'm still uncertain if she knew I was asking her out.

How obvious was this me asking out for a date?
What do you anons think? I need help

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got layed off and applying for a bunch of jobs, something stable and i can move out. Then i can do ketamine in peace. So hows your life been fellow wizard OP?

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oh and my funny thought is that maybe in the future there will be giant geostationary orbiting orbital cattle farms that blast shipments of meat into the indian ocean for collection.

i haven't smoked a cig since new years gunjy. man up and cold turkey with me.

>So how are you all doing?
Good, not much going on, just playing some league and watching metokur

>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
The grading for the national exam in my country just came out and I can apply for an university, kinda nervous about it

>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
There thoughts come and go very often but I can't remember any at the moment

>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
Finally went to my family's farm with my father and brother (for work) and I actually liked it

honestly, im not sure why. im just so burnt out of my own life. it just started for me too. i spent years in abuse and a filthy living situation, years depressed with anxiety. and now i have a long term job that could be a career if i choose. i have an apartment, and a partner. but i just feel so burnt out from everything. i hate this country, i hate being a fucking slave to money in order to survive. i wish we could be free.

pretty obvious desu good job, true chad

If she spoke a lot more after this does it mean she likes me? I'm assuming if she didn't she'd talk less and be awkward about it

yes you knob she likes you, dont fuck up the date

>So how are you all doing?
I'm doing fantastic, just got home from watching Dragon Ball Super: Broly with my old man.
>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
See above, and also I started my new semester yesterday, I think it'll be fun.
>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
Nothing anyone else would likely think is funny.
>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
I plan to start writing more, even if just starting with tabletop gaming ideas and shitty fanfic

why do we suffer? why is everything pain all the time?

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Thinking about whether or not I should marry my long time housemate.

We get along well enough, but it would largely be done for practical economic reasons. Taxes, security, that sort of thing. The other major part of it is to placate her parents. She comes from a pretty traditional Chinese family, and they're getting desperate enough for her to get married and have kids that they're willing to accept a gweilo like me.

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She said she was busy but didn't give a time to reschedule so I'm going to explicit and ask about an actual date next week.

>I've started working on the 2nd draft of this book I'm working on
That makes me want to get into writing even more. I can sometimes turn into a perfectionist where I want to get everything just exactly perfect. It takes me forever to type up posts on here, but I want find something and perfect it. Mentioning your second draft reminded me of fixing things here and here, making sure everything flows well and overall making it the best possible work I can.

I think we're living in a Proto-Cyber Punk society. With computers people are spending more time by themselves, incels will become more and more prevalent, hostility online is only increasing and so on. But then again, people like Dostoevsky were the elites of his time. We would be the low class people.

Perhaps The Nazi Klansman part could play into The White Devil meme.

Ice Skating for 2 is too romantic. It's too forward and something couples do to bond. You need to chat her up and have fun together to give her reason to date you. Then when she enjoys your company she'll want to keep spending time with you.

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I'm already really good friends with her. Somehow we talked a lot more after that happened.
See:

Living the NEET life, accepted my isolation and working on getting into hobbies.

I can't wait for indoor farming.

Tried cold turkey too many times. I would always make one exception then another because I lacked the discipline. By cutting down I'm building self-discipline and improving other necessary traits.

I once worked on a farm and my perfectionism started kicking in. First the strain was unbearable then after pounding through the turmoil I reached a Zen calmness. Then after that I tried to do it as quickly and carefully as I could.

Money is freedom. You can buy whatever you want with it. As a NEET I hardly have any and I spend all day everyday in my apartment. There's lights which go on in the evenings which casts bar shadows on my walls through the blinds. They look like prison bars only horizontal and for a while I kept noticing the time at 11:34 or close enough meaning 'Hell.'

Atleast he's getting practice.

She might have just thought it was too much to commit to all at once.

She could just be testing him out to see if she likes him.

>I started my new semester yesterday
Don't spend too much time on Jow Forums. The hours fly by on here.

11:34

I've come to realize marriage is more about security than love.

You might have failed her test if she didn't reschedule a time.

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When you were talking to her before it was casual and she enjoyed the conversation, but ice skating for two is basically a Valentine's Day date.

youre a big guy

yvucuy

I just suggested it because I know she likes ice skating. I asked others and they think she likes me by the way she started talking more after I asked which I also noticed. If it was awkward she would've talked less I guess?

I may be short but it's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog.

>I've come to realize marriage is more about security than love.
I've been thinking about the meaning of marriage and love since the new year. The conclusion I keep coming to is that love, and by that I mean a deep emotional connection to another, is predicated on security. To have love, you have to have trust, both in the physical and emotional sense. Why would you love someone who steals from you, or lies to you? Love without security is just impulse.

We've shared a living space for eight, going on nine, years now. If we didn't get along on some level that would have been impossible. And I suppose getting along and working together for mutual economic benefit is enough, but still. In the back of my mind I sorta hope that if I take the offer, it'll turn into something more than just an relationship of convenience.

Side note, OP. Don't neet it up. I know working blows, but sometimes the experiences you have can lead you to something more fulfilling.

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>How are you doing?
Tired as fuck I'm the only person in my home doing the cleaning.

>Noteworthy events?
My birthday's coming up in a couple weeks and my favorite guilty pleasure show just ended it's fifth season.

Funny thoughts?
Well I proposed to my brother that if he and one of his higher ranking officiers had children they'd look like goddamn chimpanzees due to his forehead and her nose.

>Recent Accomplishments?
I actually did something nice for a guy at the grocery today to get him a Buy 2 Get 1 free deal on Coke. That felt pretty good.

Hmm, since she's into ice skating that's different, but since she said no there might need to be more people. Since you talked more before and after that's also good, but perhaps it would be safer to go with dinner and a movie.

>We've shared a living space for eight, going on nine, years now
Something else I've come to realize is love grows gradually over time. Most ppl on her talk about crushes but that's temporary and usually ends badly. Over all these years the two of you must have established a connection, so why not make it official?

>my favorite guilty pleasure show just ended it's fifth season
The Big Bang Theory is in it's last season and that's basically the only non-family show on prime time.

>Buy 2 Get 1 free deal on Coke
I got buy 1 get on free Doritos a little over a week ago, then a couple days ago they were less than half off. I tried out a new flavor Spicy Sweet Chili but they taste kind of funky.

I uh... I'm gonna admit it's not Big Bang. I'm not retarded, I just prefer animation. My guilty pleasure show was Steven Universe. Still Blanket-user.

Family Guy is still going strong.

Not my kinda thing. I was into Steven Universe because I found some of the creator's older works in some of my favorite comics and I was able to solicit a happy reaction for the first time in years at such an odd show.

>love grows gradually over time
I'd agree with that. I mean how else are you suppose to actually get to know somebody without sinking a fuck ton of time into being around them? That's difference between 'love', and a crush. You might think someone is cute or desirable from afar, but how can you say you actually know them without spending an appropriate amount of time with them.

>so why not make it official?
My list of objections to the idea grows smaller everyday. Still, I have my apprehensions about it. Once I make the choice, there's no going back from it, and you can bet your ass that her family will never let either of us back out of it down the line.

In all honesty, I should go through with it. I get a wife who I can work with and trust, plus a pretty ridiculous amount of financial support and utility from her family. The bare minimum I have to do is learn Cantonese, avoid being a deadbeat, and not cheat on or abuse her.

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>So how are you all doing?
After I turned 23 a bit over a month ago I just feel like shit. I am realizing I'm not really young anymore and I wasted my youth and am still a virgin. I just feel hopeless.
>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
I'm trying to find a job and a bf so hopefully something good happens on both fronts
>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
It's funny how I consciously decided to waste years of my life in front of a screen
>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
I graduated college with a shit degree.

I've spent on average 13 hours on the internet these last few days. I've hit rock bottom. I want to draw, make music, move forward in life but my self-esteem and motivation are extremely low. At least, I go to the gym 3 times a week and eat healthier than before.

You'll always have someone to talk about your day with, if you need advice you'll always be able to talk to someone you can trust, you can share expenses, anytime you watch T. V. together you can talk about the show and so on.

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>I've hit rock bottom
i hope you have

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>So how are you all doing?
Still fine, but when the sun is down, I start my daily (mostly futile) battle with alcoholism.
>Has anything noteworthy happened or are you looking forward to anything noteworthy in the future?
Recently I started to go to the gym again. But I don't go as often as I should, because I'm too preoccupied with work.
>Have you thought of anything funny recently?
No
>Have you accomplished anything recently or do you plan to accomplish anything soon?
Few work related stuff which I don't really care about. I plan staying sober for one whole week, and go to the gym 4-5/week.

Good luck with quitting smoking. I quit about 1.5 years ago. Doesn't feel better, but I look better.

OP here. I'm trying to think of replies for these last two posts but I'm utterly spent. I've been replying to posts since 6:30 and my brain just won't go anymore.

Maybe this is just a temporary low point, as in mood. But you've graduated from college so that shows you've got some gumption, and any degree is better than nothing. I forget what the statistic is, but I've heard a large percentage of people don't work in the field they went to college for.

You gotta put one foot in front of the other and just do it. Then once you make progress that will fuel later motivation.

That's all I can think of...thread over.

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All true.
I think ultimately I'm just being an anxious coward about it and getting the better of myself. I've fucked myself plenty of times in the past because I was too scared to make a decision, and I'm absolutely terrified of doing the same thing again with an opportunity like this.

Should I just man the fuck up and ask her tomorrow?

OP will you add me on discord and be my friend. You seem like someone good to talk to.

Depressive faggot who's afraid of death and just realizing that I've raped as a kid