>go to holiday in Hong Kong for a week
>family waited until the last minute to try and book me a hotel room
>hotel quadrupled the prices because the races were on and all of their rooms but a couple were booked
>I end up staying in a hostel, rest of family are in a fancy 4 star hotel
>its okay, I know I'm worthless
>hostel has general area where people hang out
>end up meeting tons of different cool people
>fellow Brit who connects with me, we talk about Brit feels
>cool Swedish guy who seems kinda like a cyborg, is really impressed by my rendition of the Swedish anthem
>female fashion student who's going to some anti-rape rally, but she shows me the best places to buy cheap booze and has a great singing voice so she's cool
>bunch of rowdy Aussies who I think are chads but turn out to all be really nice engineering students
>become friends with all of them and finally feel like a normal youth for the first time in my life
>second to last day and most of them have left, feeling kinda lonely
>notice the Aussies are going out, ask at the last second if I can tag along
>they say fuck it sure and I quickly grab my wallet and keys and head with them
>we go to a rooftop bar that overlooks the whole city
>they say we need to wait for their friend to arrive first
>their female friend
>level of stress: 17%
>waiter asks if we're going to order and we say a friend is coming, he seems cool with it
>we decide to each buy a cocktail and make them last for as long as we can while we take in the view, and order when their friend arrives
>two hundred hong kong dollars for a drink, eighty hong kong dollars for a glass of water
>realise I'm probably in one of the fanciest bars in the entire city
>really well dressed people everywhere, attractive girls, some dude is smoking a cigar
>realise I came here in a hurry to join the Aussies, wearing beer-stained jogging pants and a t-shirt with a vidya reference on it
>level of stress: 25%
>female friend arrives
>cont
NEET Holiday Adventures Greentexts
>fairly attractive, big tiddies, seems like an ultra-normie
>she starts kissing them each on the cheek
>ohfuckohfuck i dont know social protocol ahhhhasfkapg
>as she approaches me I offer her a handshake which she accepts
>introduce myself, she gives me a funny look
>level of stress: 43%
>topic shifts away from me, and we start talking about random shit
>I try and occasionally add at least something to the conversation so I don't seem like I'm silent
>laugh at peoples jokes, make the occasional remark without being overbearing
>this sort of stuff probably comes naturally to them but I have to make an effort to act normal
>cocktails arrive, waiter spills a bit because it was filled to the brim
>some weird chemical on top which makes them all crackling on the top, pretty neat
>once he wipes the table before I can try it, the girl tells everyone to not drink yet
>starts taking pictures of all the drinks, says it's for her instagram followers
>internally start ree-ing but manage to nod and smile
>after several minutes of different angles we're finally allowed to drink
>mine is pretty nice, and we all have sips of each others
>start to relax a little, I've blended in well
>she starts talking about her life, turns out she's an instragram celebrity, knows several actual celebrities
>don't know any of the names of the people she's talking about but get the idea that they're hot shit
>at some point, she just randomly turns to me
>hey, what do you do for a living?
>tfw neet, oh fuck oh fuck
>I uh do whatever work I can get I don't have a serious career
>level of stress: 60%
>she gets one of the Aussies to go around taking pictures of her from different angles
>I start talking about philosophical shit with one of the other Aussies while we look out over the whole city
>starting to feel a bit more chill
>cont
Sounds nice, though I sense a rough ending is coming. I'm enjoying it so far user
>eventually we go to pay, I have to break a 500 dollar note so getting my change takes ages
>after I get my change I go to use the toilet and it's literally the most fancy bathroom I'd ever seen
>these niggas got two different toilet rolls per bathroom
>fancy mood lighting so you feel chill while taking a dump I guess, really nice soap
>after I'm done we go to a restaurant
>on the way there we buy some beers and drink on the street as we walk
>we all loosen up a bit as we drink some cheap beers, got a ten minute walk or so to the restaurant
>the instagram thot comes up to me, her attitude seems to have changed a bit
>quietly tells me that she has heroine in her purse, asks if I want some
>nani the fuck
>thank you but I'm good
>to calm myself down I begin singing 'rule britannia' while drinking as we walk
>that's cool in this country, as long as you're white I guess
>sit down for a meal
>apparently they have good dumplings so I order that
>trying to look more cultured than the fuckwit that I am so I order a side dish, go for some weird plate of chicken liver or something like that
>enjoying the meal, eat a couple pieces of the side dish and tell everyone to help themselves to it
>nobody even gives it a second glance, one person tries a piece and doesn't like it
>instagram thot talking about how she refused to sleep with some celebrity, the Aussies congratulate her
>once again, as I have come to fear, she seems to notice me and addresses me
>"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
>mfw
>battlestations battlestations
>red alert
>uhm yes i have but it only lasted a week and it doesn't really count haha
>"Why did it only last a week?"
>fuckfuckfuckfuck
>feel blood pressure rising
>give a bullshit story about not wanting to go out, not giving pretend gf enough attention
>she seems to buy it to some degree
>manage to pass myself off as a normie, and avoid a heart attack
>I did it
>later that night we play drinking games
>I get drunk and start talking about tentacle porn
epilogue
>get really fucked up after all the drinking games
>try to go to bed but every half an hour I wake up and need to drink water and pee
>barely sleep
>when I wake up I realise it's my last day in Hong Kong
>the best holiday I've ever had and I'm spending the last day having the worst hang over of my life in a hostel
>realise it's my last day and I wanted to lose my v-card to a qt. asian girl
>absolutely miserable
>have a private room because it's a three-bed room and nobody else is in it
>jerk off around twenty times over the course of eight hours out of despair
the end
Yikes user. At least the rest of the trip sounded somewhat fun.
I spent like 40 minutes writing all of that pls give (you)'s even if it's to call me a retard
ok hres uy
Do this more often and you'll become a chad.
tentacle porn... nice.
>manage to pass myself off as a normie
>"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
if anyone is asking that question, you most certainly have not passed yourself off as a normie. if anyone is asking that question, it's because you are very obviously not even remotely normal...
>to calm myself down I begin singing 'rule britannia' while drinking as we walk
again, very normal behaviour and i'm sure everyone with you thought it was a very normal thing to do, and you undoubtedly appeared very normal & calm while singing this.
Suck my dick mate, we were all buzzed and it was in good fun.
The most normie thing is not caring what people think of you.
>>hey, what do you do for a living?
>>tfw neet, oh fuck oh fuck
>>I uh do whatever work I can get I don't have a serious career
so you don't have an answer prepared for this inevitable, extremely common question and you've evidently been a NEET for a number of years.................... your fault, yet again............
The whole point of my greentext is how I'm a robot pretending to be a normie mate, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish by point out the obvious.
Could it be you're retarded?
your high level of social incompetence and lack of accurate self awareness is blatantly obvious to everyone you encounter
i would've done the heroin desu
meant for originalblox
Do you realise which board you're on, lad?
just commenting on your amateur mistake.
>I'm a robot pretending to be a normie
you would be better off not pretending because you're evidently not at all convincing. it would be better if you were genuine about things while making an attempt to improve your social skills. whether you have picked up on it or not (i doubt it), people don't like social fakes, and your obvious attempts at being a person you're clearly not is undoubtedly off-putting at best, and at worst, has people wondering "is this guy serious? does he really think he's fooling anyone"?. you're doing yourself a disservice by pretending, because it just makes you come across as disingenuous.
of course, i've been here since day one. i'm pointing out what he/you may not perceive so that he/you can work on socializing by not making the same mistakes in future.
>jerk off around twenty times in despair
Screencapped. I'll have fun posting you in ten years.