What is a quick and relatively painless suicide method for under $350?

Paper shredder

Buy a tank of helium for 45$ a cpap tubing for 10$ and a cpap mask 50$ just connect the cpap mask to the tank with the cpap tubing use duct tape if needed, put the mask and open the the tank just a litte bit

It's not pure helium anymore. I want to die and not wake up retarded

Gun range. Rent anything, load it, put it in ur mouth, pull the trigger. Suicide is super fucking easy, the fact that you cant do it and need to come here to attention whore means you dont want to die you just want social interaction. Get some fucking friends op.

my guess is either an entire bottle of sleeping pills, some painkillers, and let's add in some weed- or a really cheap handgun and a few bullets. fire them into your eye, death is nearly instant.

i'd tell you to reconsider, but i'm pretty close myself. save a seat for us user, will ya?

op leave ur discord ill send you an instructional video. dont wanna post the link here in case some fag reports it

On what methtod?
I already know some methods. I just want to know one that will be less painfull for my budget

Reply to was meant for

Just go and steal the chicken from some random negro. You'll be kill faster than you know it.

If you're a negro yourself just walk up to any cop and ask him for the way to the next liquor store.

You're welcome. Godspeed user.

>his fingers
the person was a women, that should be enough explanation

partial suspension hanging

orig

This is retarded. I've heard this multiple times. PURE HELIUM is not required to asphyxiate. All that is required is a majority helium. Because the air you breathe is a 70/30 (rough) mix of nitrogen/oxygen, all you need to do is not have 30% oxygen in that mix and you're dead. Any helium that they sell in stores, so long as you have a CPAP or other air-tight seal mask -- it will guaranteeably do the fucking job. Stop with the memes, please. Death now. Talk later.

By a cheap high caliper pistol. You might be able to find some sort of M9 or such. A 9mm should do that trick for very cheap. (Cheap in the sense of guns)

Im going to research that one a little more just in case but if your correct then I will use an exit

Please don't. It's my birthday today (EST). Just go talk with somebody or get some pills or some shit. I don't want to have your death on my conscience just because I told you about hoe air works.

Nice. When I'm old and near death this will come in handy. To hell with dying painfully.

While I would never want someone who is NOT in a terminal condition (eh, what is life?) to do this, I will say that asphyxiation by gas is probably the most painless way out outside of a carefully concocted set of injected chemicals (not accessible by normies).

What about those failure reports? They seem pretty painful for the people who experienced them.

en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Suicide/Suffocation/Helium#Reports_of_failures:analysis_of_the_causes,and_insights_of_how_to_avoid_it

If you feel suicidal ,better spend those money on having fun , you will die anyway . Used to feel like killing myself but I realised death is inevitable and better see what kind of shit life can hit me with . The secret is to not get bored , try doing something new every now and then .

Go find the gas pipe in your house. Take the cord you're using to charge your computer with you. Throw the cord over the pipe and tie a square knot in the cord. Make the loop small enough that you can't reach your chin over it. Then go get a chair, get on it, stick your neck through the loop, and jump off the chair. Wait 10 seconds and you will pass out and if you are alone you will very soon die.
Easy, painless, cheap suicide.

Non-airtight seals? No offense, if you strap on a helium tank's worth of helium, you're going to be, at a minimum, in a permanent coma (brain dead) or most likely dead. Erroneous factors included in aforementioned (wikibooks? when is that a source you fuckwit?!) lack of sealing of a mask or bag to the head.

It's really not hard. Your body needs oxygen. A steady supply. You can upset this through numerous ways. You can ingest large amounts of lead (NOT RECOMMENDED) because lead disrupts oxygen bonding with iron (the part of your blood cell that carries oxygen), you can make something LIGHTER than air replace oxygen (carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, helium)... And last but not least you can simply deny oxygen a place. Such as getting into a specially made chamber filled with SOME OTHER (NOT OXYGEN) gas. It's really very, very simple. It's like life is not at all catered to you. At all. In fact, the most entropic point of existence is when you are not in the equation.

Literally just fucking do
and stop worrying about this helium shit. This is way easier than you're all making it out to be.

Shotgun to the head and train to body collision are the fastest, surest and most painless ways to commit suicide

Go to a damn gun range, rent a gun and blow your brains out.

Don't do that. There are people who are trying to have a good day.

Dont die alone in your room like a pussy die like a man: causes a gas leak in your apartment and blow the fuck out of your neighborhood

Don't know about you, but watching some incel fag with muh """""depression""""" blow his head off is literally the definition of having a good day.

All of you faggots are retarded
Rich knew the best way to go
Rich knew to steal a plane, enjoy himself, and crash it when the time came
Enjoyable and painless
Rich knew

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Are you aware of these cool new things called firearms?
seen it ages ago. She got into a lesbian relationship with vagina dentata.

You can always just jump of a highr building so everyone will see. You better hold a 'beta uprising' sign while you do it.

>OP attempts this
>fills car with helium
>passes out
>wakes up
>speaks like an anime girl for the rest of his life

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When I was in the Marines, I knew dudes like you who used to have a dull glimmer in their eye when talking about someone dying or wanting to kill (themselves or something else). Used to joke about killing babies. Weird shit. The thing is, as far as I could tell, nothing bad had actually ever happened to these aforementioned dudes. Like, they weren't touched by some uncle or had something particularly nasty happen to them to become this way. They just were that way. This is what they were. I had to learn to become comfortable with that. My instinct was always to kill them in their sleep.

>My instinct was always to kill them in their sleep.
In any situation outside of combat that might be the correct choice.

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Based wave checker

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Nobody cares about societal norms outside of normie society. The rule of the land is simply what you can live with yourself with doing AND what you do to survive. That was seriously the toughest part about reintegrating back into society. In society, you're supposed to feel a specific way about a specific situation. Like, if everyone is watching Seinfeld, we all know to laugh when the laugh track goes off. After war, you don't know when to laugh. Because you stopped seeing the show as relevant. And the people laughing are just weird things that don't make any sense. And now, in order to become reintegrated into society, you NEED to pretend that the Seinfeld scene is funny and you're actually laughing alongside everyone else. Bonus points if you actually can feel the laugh.

oh shit lol I just realized this is the easiest way.
Do this OP.
Lmao fuck off if you're dead you shouldn't give a fuck about this.

We all die. Why fuck up somebody else's day if it's not necessary or even entertaining?

>i went to war for Shlomo Shekelstein
That's where your opinion was discarded.
Nice projection tho. lul

>Like, if everyone is watching Seinfeld, we all know to laugh when the laugh track goes off
>After war, you don't know when to laugh
>Because you stopped seeing the show as relevant
>And the people laughing are just weird things that don't make any sense
>you NEED to pretend that the Seinfeld scene is funny and you're actually laughing
>Bonus points if you actually can feel the laugh
I was born like this and literally had to be trained how to act normally in social situations. Am I retarded?
Also, going into naval aviation. Please tell me this PTSD shit doesn't extend to me bombing people that I will never see, hear, or know.

If you were born this way, the only issue you'll run into the military is the huge amount of make-believe you're going to need to do on a daily basis. People are constantly going to ask you to laugh at their dumb jokes and, just like any societal hierarchy, skill is valued less than social aptitude. I think aviation should be an exception but I have no experience in that arena.

An old shotgun and a slug

It college taught me anything (which it didn't), it's how to fake it 'til you make it in social circumstances. That being said, I appreciate the advice and I'll try my best. I've always wanted to pilot helicopters, but I've never had the inclination to murder tons of people with them. However, I understand that I may have to do exactly that. I don't know how I'm gonna handle it if I have to, but I know that I'm gonna do my job.

Well, my rule of thumb has always been: murder as few people as you absolutely have to.

I've (countless times) disobeyed orders to kill people because I either didn't feel like, they didn't pose a threat to me personally, or whatever. You don't need an excuse to not kill someone. The excuses pile up for the reasons you chose to do it.

Literally this
Just find yourself a tall parking garage, OP. Just make sure you land on your head or upper torso.

Cyanide shotgun gun

Buy 200 apples and eat all the seeds.

charcoal burning suicide

Will a .380 handgun pointed directly to my heart take me out of my miserable existence? Or should I just be safe and aim it at my head?

If you were really suicidal you wouldn't care about the pain, you'd just do it.

Pay me 350 and ill for it for you
no pussying out

Of course he'll pussy out. OP just thinks he's suicidal because he thinks it's easier than fixing his problems. He half-assed his life and now he wants to half-ass his death.

your brains keep functioning longer if you shoot through your heart compared to you completely obliterating your skull.

Painkillers, nerve block, and then lots of very fine stiches I'd assume. It's surprising what the human body can recover from when bleeding is stoped and infection is prevented. Looks like it might even have stopped high enough on the knuckles for none of the tendons to be fully severed so with healing, possible donor material or transplant from another body part, and physical therapy they'd probably maintain most functionally with the less flexible scar tissue being the biggest issue. I'm no medical professional though and am just guessing.

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REST EASY SKYKING

Happy birthday :-)

That's a pretty intelligent guess, so thanks user.

You can't fucking do that anymore because gun ranges require a buddy system now

He is gone but not forgotten, sleep tight sweet prince.