/britfeel/

They are waiting for a good looking guy to fuck them.

Bought some dental floss recently. Don't use it when brushing, but seem compelled to use it when drunk

>no facial deformities
>tfw have a scar on my face
No chance tbqh

That's true, they'd ideally like a good looking guy. But if you'll settle for them, they might settle for you. You think no one ugly ever fucks?

A scar isn't a deformity.

have any of you ever been really happy?
what's it like?

what do you mean 'settle for them' my standards are low as hell, that doesn't make any difference and them not being attractive doesn't mean they don't want a good looking guy either.

one of those nights where I'd probably bum a trap

Sound lad. I'm off to bed myself, one of those days here too. Give 12kg a pat from me.

How do you get used to whisky?

Shippy knocking a snooker ball into Amer Hussain's gaping anus. It doesn't touch the sides.

And 6kg and 8kg too of course.

rub it on your cock and then set it alight

It's 11pm on a friday night. They are drunk, horny and getting desperate.

Lad, buy a WaterPik. It's fucking amazing, it's like a jetwash for teeth and doesn't pull your fillings out like floss does. Probably just as good drunk or sober.

Not desperate for to consider me lad. Plus the idea of a one night stand makes me go limp

I'm going to bed now too. Good night lad I hope you sleep well. I will give them all a big fuss for you, 8kg is on her back ready for a big belly

Say it's from a shark attack. Scars make people interesting and it's a talking point.
unless your scar runs from ear to mouth in which case everyone will avoid you because you're a grass

I'm content. I think happiness is a moment not a state.

Shippy and Amer are in their room at the Travelodge. "Fuck me" says Amer breathily. "I want you inside me." Shippy starts to bend him over, his face bright red, wheezing and panting for breath. "No no, not there, not my arse. I want you in my fanny" says Amer. Shippy is confused and thinks that Amer is going mental until he turns his pakistani body over to reveal a fat, swollen penis with a huge jap's eye that's as big as a cunt. Shippy pushes his cock deep inside Amer's urethra to begin their sweaty unconventional coitus.

haha omg this is great stuff m8

>I'm content.
whats that like?

wasnt ready tbqwh

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Are you on LSD tonight lad?

One night stands are your best bet to get a gf. After you've shagged someone a few times they are bonded to you so gfing them is easy.

Based

top quality post m8 haha this is classic britfeel right here xDDDD u got any others???

Are their horny/lonely girls (male) out there right now too?

Not my thing, sorry. I don't begrudge people who enjoy it though.
Fuck it I'd rather just stay a virgin.

Loving this Shippy Moni arc

preordered the 280 bong mortal kombat 11 lads

Comfy lad. This is the first winter in years I'm not depressed or got SAD. I got a load of problems out the way in the last 18 months and stopped being depressed, I've still got my eye out for potential shit in future but I can rest easier now and enjoy what life brings. Happiness moments for me:
>standing barefoot on the lawn
>making my cat purr
>good sunsets

>the pathetic sulky little user that only makes a post to be a passive aggressive shit that hates any user having fun is in the thread again

Does he ever sleep?

I reckon tonight's the night where I die of hyperthermia. My boiler picked a fucking great time to conk out on me

Loved MK since the first 2bh but I'd have waited
They drop in price really quickly

>Do you fish?
Only sea fish but I don't live by the sea at the moment. Used to do deep sea and sport fishing when I was younger, abroad. Tried lakes round here but I couldn't get my head round not eating what I caught, for me the whole point of fishing is to catch dinner so I sincerely hope you got to eat the salmon you caught the same day, freshly caught fish is the food of the gods.

youtu.be/ldhxemRcQ-c

What have Disney done to star wars?

>the CHAD Carp fisherman
vs
>the virgin mackerel catcher

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>tfw toasty room

good luck user. maybe go to a 24 hours mcdonalds if you've got one nearby.

Jelly, was always a course fisher but would love to sea fish again you can eat what you catch unlike in course fishing unless you go to a fishery.

Cant be bothered to change my sheets tbqh

You made me reply to you, cringy faggot

>has to throw it back

Fishing is a cuck hobby.

Not trying to be funny lads but if you speak to me like that again we are gonna fall out.

I do it like every month and a half and sometimes i wear the same joggers boxers and socks for 4-5 days and sleep in them

Is this a cringy message to send a lass lads? I feel like it is

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>Is this a cringy message to send a lass lads?
A bit forward but it's not cringy, at least you will know you if she likes you when she replies

No it's fine. If they don't want to meet in person don't bother.

You won't die indoors. Pile up some towels on your windowsill and close your curtains. Wear a jumper, socks and jogging pants to bed, and double up your duvet.

It probably is, lad, but it won't make any difference.
If a bird likes you, she likes you.

Is this bait?

Leave out the LMAO and don't suggest a Wetherspoons. If you insist, then don't ask if it's okay, just tell her you're going there. But don't go there.

I was thinking about buying a little boat, nothing fancy, and taking it to the coast but that idea is still in the planning the logistics stage, not ready to do it yet. Could do /britfeel/ boat trips if it comes to pass.

She treats me like dirt

Neither of you know what you're talking about.

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Had takeaway 5 days in a row lads. Every month I say I'm going to stop and here I am stuffing myself with McDonald's.

Evening lads. Getting really close with the lass at work today. Tells me she's recently single as well..

Inb4 SCEAs normie transition etc.

I am NOT a normie.

This is how I imagine Chad talks lad

Is it Hannah or another cutie?

Christ I cant stop thinking about stuffing my face with pizza. Life of a fatty is painful

>Offering to take her to Spoons.

Fucking hell, put a bit of effort in. You'll be taking her to Nandos or Pizza Express next.

Go somewhere better lad.

Zeus running up on Moni and rugby tackling him to the ground and wrestling with one another for dominance before the deep animosity they both hold for each other gives way to unrelenting and irresistible passion that culminates in mind blowing lustful sex behind a council dump skip at 4pm.

>Could do /britfeel/ boat trips if it comes to pass.
Let us know I would go

>Poleaboo's gonna land *that many* lefts, Zeus'll be begging for a right

waaaaa

fucking hate sluts so much, if i ever see one i'll just knock her fucking head off

fuck all of them

Aye figured to just start being more forward with lasses, saves me wasting my time if they aren't interested.
She's an 18 year old student, not going to take her to some Michelin Star restaurant for a first date lads

I didn't make it you ****

You have a well paying job, fuck off you dirty normie

>She's an 18 year old student, not going to take her to some Michelin Star restaurant for a first date lads
Fair enough then but drop the lmao

Sort yourself out you fat bastard

Shippy and Amer giving Zeus an Atomic Swirly in Wetherspoons pub toilets

Will do lad. I'm thinking about going to see this
exchangeandmart.co.uk/items-for-sale/fishing-boat-oyster-16-1886829

>Aye figured to just start being more forward with lasses.
Sound idea, lad.
The typical bloke lacks the gift of the gab. All chat does is give a bird an opportunity to go off you.
>Strike whilst the iron's hot.

I'm not saying that, a pub is fine, but not Wetherspoons. Find somewhere quiet, that's a little out of the way. Preferably with an older demographic. You'll be able to talk and enjoy yourselves without Deanos everywhere knocking back Stella with TVs on the wall.

Mate, I didn't just end up earning a fortune. It took years of patience and uncertainty, with a massive dose of mental / physical pain.

If you tell me your circumstances I might be able to direct you into well paid employment.

That said you'll need to put the legwork in, in the form of training and personal development.

yank imperialists need to feck off

kick em out of their bases

pricks

I live in a big student town lad, spoons isnt really full of deanos here, it's just other students pretty much. Nobody really goes to traditional pubs around here anymore

Might as well stay awake for another 10 minutes to say happy birthday to me mum

youtu.be/vsZGHxb4caA

They invading venezuela yet?

got several hours of idols singing to watch but I cannae work out how to actually download/view it properly

Being a computer brainlet sucks

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>exchangeandmart.co.uk/items-for-sale/fishing-boat-oyster-16-1886829
Fine boat but I would be worried if your engine got fucked you would be adrift and it looks like you can't row on that boat

I'm actually a full on skelly despite eating like shit 247

>cannae work out how to actually download/view it properly
I can try to help...maybe.

I download it
Then I have to use winrar? Then I try that and nothing actually happens. Wtf is a winrar anyway.
God computers are so shit

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A winrar is (you). Try 7-zip to extract the files
7-zip.org/download.html

I refuse to believe someone could be competent enough to discover and use Jow Forums but unable to extract a zip file

What does extract even mean? What will it do to the file?

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it will 'unpack' it and make it possible to open/view

It needs some work but I was brought up around boats and know how to fix them so it'd be alright, worse case scenario would be throwing some flares and getting a tow back to shore. I'd probably put a VHF radio in it too to summon assistance from the coastguard if it ever came to it, rowing is not an option.

Lmao
You better believe it
Thanks m8 I will make an attempt

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find this quite funny

tickles me how stupid the seppos are

You won't though will you? You impotent cunt