>go to Jow Forums and start dieting right fucking now
>start an actual 4 day routine, don't try to make up your own shit, you know nothing
>don't worry about what other guys in the gym are lifting, you're gonna be weak, starting out, and that's okay. Lift to your reps, increase by 5-10lb per week starting out, and NEVER SKIP
>don't be afraid of squats, that knee will hold up just fine, and training will make it stop hurting as often
>QUIT DRINKING SODA. FOREVER.
>start learning web development and coding, it's easier than it looks, especially Python
>don't sell the house. Just weather it out, you can afford it, just reevaluate your finances
>don't fucking hire Lonnie. Spend the money, and get someone worth your time
>consciously engage your hammies on deadlifts. It's a game changer.
Things you would tell yourself, if you could go back 5 years
>rape her again
SS+GOMAD
Kill yourself. It's already too late for life to get better.
I would teach myself how to mew
>Clean your house. It will make you feel so much better. Your entire life will litterally improve when all this clutter weighing you down is gone.
>You can invite friends and family again.
>You will go to the gym again.
>You will lose weight.
>You will get more attractive.
>You will think positively again.
fucking stole my line, faggot
Who is Lonnie and what did s/he do?
>stop watching tranny porn, it’s a slippery slope
go to uni now so i'd be finished by now, not just starting.
U ok user?
Nothing. We dont have free will anyway.
Shitty lawyer.
Nothing criminal, but long story short he did almost literally nothing and just collected fees
Man the fuck up kid. And for the love of god appreciate her more.
it doesn't matter
work out what feel wrong insteed of substance abuse
>take care of your FUCKING hair
>do not shave it and "embrace it's
>stop taking fin, it only makes you bald faster
>get hair transplant., you're still in early NW
i've been rejected 20 times already with
>sorry you look like my father
>lose weight fat fuck
>you should be socializing instead of playing video games
>your grades should be your number 1 priority, don't fuck up your life
Find you a grill with daddy issues. Embrace the D(Ch)ad
Do it for yourself... Self improvement... To like what you see in the mirror. You're not too fat to get aesthetic. Too skinny to get strong. You can never get worse from dieting and exercising, you can only become better. Become the perfect you. We're all gonna make it
>if you really love your new wife you should go out and have real fun with her instead of this hibernation crap. you'll both happier in the long run.
dogs never go bald, we need to impregnate our wifes with dog DNA for our kids.
Isn't tranny porn the end of the slippery slope? What comes after that shit?
Making your own tranny porn.
Dwelling on the past isn't worth the time and effort anons.
Focus on what's to come.
eating tranny ass on cam like big lenny
Point of these threads is usually to help other anons avoid our mistakes. Though the lack of Jow Forums related regrets is disappointing
>YOU DONT SELLL THOSE FUCKING BITCOINS YOU HEEERE ME SON I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF IT 10XED TO 300 BUCKS YOU FUCKING HOLD ONTO THOSE UNTILL THE END OF TIME IS THAT UNDERSTOOD??!?!??!?!?!
>do full body workouts
>isolate your arms and forearms (torso dominant)
>make sure you eat enough
>don't waste your time on girls cuz you're ugly
buy btc sell at 20k
>stop waisting time lifting and stick to your routine of running swimming and calisthenics
>ditch your crab in the bucket friends and start going to parties and have sex rather than waiting for the “perfect girl” nobodies perfect not even you, stop putting arbitrary and unrealistic exceptions on yourself only to feel like shit when you don’t reach them
>take a year off after high school and just travel, don’t waste the money on that first year of college
>realize who your real friends are and let them know what they mean to you
>stand up for yourself and stop taking so much shit
I could write more but eh just makes me bitter thinking about how naive I’ve been this whole time
ask her out
>Go to the gym at age 14
>Give myself a program
>Stop eating wheat and sugar
Buy BTC
>hodl maymay
>not selling @ a comfortable 18k before ll the orders went in.
NGMI
>Fuck every fat bitch you come across
Start banging dudes.
> Don't go on that travel. It's gonna cause troubles on your future.
> Man up and be more secure about yourself
> Love her while you still can
> Also lose weight and lift you little bitch
The ultimate cuck
>your father is a liar and a cheat and will fuck up your life multiple times so don’t listen to anything he has to say ever, just avoid him at all costs
>go to college while you’re young and your aunt and uncle will still let you pay cheap rent, doing it with a full time job and other bills sucks fucking ass
>don’t get fat and stay fat all through high school, losing weight is easy you fat fucker
>avoid that chick Alyx, you fall in love with her and don’t get over her until you’re 18 and you’re friend zoned the entire time anyways. Not worth it.
>don’t hook up with that milf from work named Robyn, she’s absolutely out of her mind and fucks up your whole life for multiple years. If you still do it she ends up killing herself years later
Life has been pretty weird guys.
GO PROSTITUTE YOURSELF, SELL YOUR BODY AND BUY BITCOIN FAGGOT!!!
DONT GET MARRIED IDIOT
OTHER WOMEN WILL FUCK YOU
Keeping it Jow Forums.
>Join a gym. You can't get huge on a doorway pullup bar from amazon and 30 pound dumbbells.
>Do an AxBxAxx full body split like Greyskull without the neck harness meme. Read starting strength and do linear progression.
>Just because your boomer parents eat "a pack of playing cards" worth of meat at every meal, does not mean your 6'7" ass shouldn't be consuming 4x what they are. You are a lanklet and you need like 5000 calories a day to get strong.
>Stop eating sugary shit, you crave it because you're not eating enough good food.
>/fa/ is a bunch of confused beta males who think female sexuality is just like male sexuality. No one is impressed by your sense of fashion beyond looking put-together. You look like a homosexual in those skinny jeans, and your mannerisms are effeminate as fuck.
>The truth is that sexuality is caused by a mix of genetics and environment. Your fashion hobby and its feminine environment is causing your sexuality to be very effeminate. You will be more attracted to strong women and feel more confident in your sexual value when you adopt a more masculine environment.
>Low-bar squats are GOOD for your knees.
>Physical therapy is a crock of shit. Tell them to fuck off and just take long walks and bike rides until you feel good enough to squat. One-legged squats are 1000x more dangerous than a regular squat, no matter what the retards at physical therapy say.
>The Hodgetwins are on steroids. Their advice isn't that great.
>Arnold Schwarzennegger is great, but he believed some quack shit. You can't get rid of pectus excavatum with pullovers. Doing a million isolation exercises with a million drop sets will not make you big without gear. You need 9 hours of sleep, not 6.
>"Ask your crush out, she likes you too!"
>just kill yourself there is nothing you can do, and nothing worth here. More time you wait more you will be a fucking coward to do it, asking useless question for doubting that is the only choice you can make. Fucking coward
>rape her she will die in a car accident in a couple of days anyways
>you’re going to a new city for college, no one knows you there - don’t act needy, be distant and non-reactive
>yes, those girls had crushes on you
>FUCKING TALK TO THEM, girls are just like you - they shit, they smell, have bad breath and constantly doubt themselves, fuck that perfect ideal and JUST TALK
>don’t let your roommates push you over, respect yourself, stand up for yourself, set boundaries
>fucking learn how to banter
>be consistent with the home gym routine
>alcohol is not for you, go easy on it and stop trying to outdrink people - you can’t
>use the insults hurled at you to be mentally resilient, not be a whiny bitch
>don’t be scared to ask those girls to fuck, they’re dtf (and if you don’t do it now, you’ll stay khhv for another 5 years)
>accept yourself, flaws and all
>DON’T AN HERO AT 21, don’t quit yet
>dont fucking cut you are not fat
i am a tall skeleton and wish i never fucking cut my weight, i should've just lifted and recomped instead of dropping so low
Castration fetish, ballbusting, mutilation, scat...
>Go to walk Rocky, please enjoy the time you have with him
Avoid that cute and innocent "Christian" girl from work. She's going to fuck you up for life by trying to shoot herself in front of you, slash her wrists in front of you, overdose in front of you and try to hang herself in front of you. Oh and by the way she is also going to be dating a married man 12 years older than her while this is all going on...
>implying that time and age pass on me
THEN WHO WAS KEYBOARD
>DON'T AN HERO AT 21
A-are you a ghost, user?
this
and don't stop lifting for prolonged periods of time so that you fall so far out of shape
Okay I kek’d
I meant don’t attempt an hero, cause I get hospitalized and on a shit ton of medication including lithium which makes me gain weight like retard
My list wasn’t complete, the act of thinking of all that made me take a moment to breathe
>the psychosis is inevitable, grind through it
>you will be sane again, don’t panic
>never ever turn your back on your family after what they’ve done for you, they stayed with you at your lowest
>love your mom and sis for staying at 3 different psych wards with you
>respect your father for ditching work and other commitments and prioritizing you, and for going into massive debt for your treatment
>when you start over again in a different college, NEVER tell anyone about your past
>don’t trust those bitches, they seek your downfall
>you socialized and failed, don’t compare that with your past (not socializing and failing) and give up
>maybe you won’t get laid or even a hug (even in this college where sexual escapades are rampant) and maybe that’s okay
>start introspecting in year 1 and sort your shit out
>you will stop anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and benzos
>half your actions are medication-related, don’t be so hard on yourself
>it’ll get better (maybe)
There is some really good advice here user. I only figured some of this stuff myself like a year ago. Some people will think that these bits of advice are basic but when you truly understand, internalize and live by those things, it's truly a life changer.
Kek what a cuck
Fucking hell, hope you didn't fuck thibgs up too badly
be confident, you'll get what you want in the end
>give up, it doesnt get better
>All women are degenerate whores
>Fuck lifting,take up a martial art
>Stay in football
>Don’t be a faggot
>Be yourself. It’s that easy
>Spend more time with son, you'll never be with him again
no
>Physical therapy is a crock of shit. Tell them to fuck off and just take long walks and bike rides until you feel good enough to squat. One-legged squats are 1000x more dangerous than a regular squat, no matter what the retards at physical therapy say.
The hell do i do when i get a slap tear then? I cant just diy inject glue into my labrum
>GET MORE SLEEP FAGGOT
>EAT MORE AND EAT BETTER FAGGOT YOU CANT GET GAINS WITH A 1000 CALORIE DEFICIT AND A FAST FOOD DIET
>dont try to make your own program, youre a retard
>DONT GIVE UP FAGGOT
>stop being so self conscious, youre going to finally learn to stop giving a fuck when its too late
>fucking study. youre not going to remember a second of the anime youre currently watching or game youre using to escape in 5 years
>go into a sport. i dont care if youre absolute shit and have to play with high school freshmen. just do it.
>do cardio
>dont start smoking retard
>dont abuse drugs. honestly, dont do them at all. you will get psychosis if you do and it is not fun.
>mew while your skull is still somewhat malleable. stop mouth breathing. start skincare when you can.
>get a job before college starts and do that for a year. then you can go to college. make sure to quit the job because you are a lazy motherfucker and will fail out if you try to juggle shit. youre not poor so you pretty much have no drive to go to college, i get it. just know if you fail out the depression you think is so terrible will seem like heaven compared to being a dropout. also you will be poor if you dont.
>women fucking suck. dont dwell on it. yeah, they get to exist for fucking free and get more attention and validation despite accomplishing nothing. but the incredible anger is not worth it. youre giving them what they want and youll be miserable. stop.
>TALK TO PEOPLE RETARD!!! you overestimate normies. theyre nice and also kind of retarded. youll be fine.
>you will never be a cute trap. stop. on the bright side, you unironically have the face of a chad if youd just cut your emo fringe. lots of girls will like you in the future, but it will only be surface level because of the 2 abusive gfs youll have will wipe you devoid of personality. dont date anyone. young people are stupid. go for hookups and short term relationships.
also
>trust your fucking gut. it knows when things arent right. women are excellent manipulators and will convince you that youre just "crazy" or being "abusive" or "paranoid" until your actually fucking get proof of them cheating on you
>you are really fucking smart. like, really smart. stop doubting yourself and make a case for your arguments. your biggest flaw is in communicating your thoughts and normies will take advantage of that in arguments, even if youre completely right they (and your own self doubt) will convince you you are wrong. have some fucking conviction. and again, dont do drugs and burn out your brain on entertainment. math, computer science, learning that shit is fun, right? keep it that way. do it recreationally at home more often than you do currently.
>DRAW MORE FAGGOT. ANIMATE MORE FAGGOT. I HAVE THE DRAWING SKILLS OF A 14 YEAR OLD BECAUSE WE DIDNT PRACTICE THIS SHIT AND PLAYED VIDYA INSTEAD.
>if you ignore my advice im going to make a time machine and kill you. hedonism isnt worth it.
im not talking about medical help. I'm talking about physical therapists that stand there and watch while you do hip thrusts because your knee hurts.
You're right user. I should be walking Zeus every single day.
>looking good bro, keep it up
>oh btw, you should probably stop browsing /fit that place is a black hole
>don't go to college, start working or get into a trade
hear hear
>keep on travelling and dont go home
>she's a whore user, DONT FALL FOR HER GAMES just fucking dont!!!!
>dont let the next one get away tho
>a 3 day full body routine is shit dont waste your time
>play more with your dog before its too late
>you probably shouldnt try xanax, coke is fine tho
Also: Get some decent furniture, some basic decorations, it really makes a difference
>get a hair transplant
>dont take fin
Enjoy. Also shave your head entirely so you don't look like a gramp.
>Don't drink sodas
>Don't smoke that cig
>You might be 16 with a receded haigline but you wouldn't be you without it
>Do shit now. Girls call you cute and with each day you get more bitter and spastic by doing batshit and playing call of gay
>You're not perfect but its okay
>Stop hating yourself
Get the fuck under a barbell and stop being such a faggot
>you're gonna be an unironic nazi supporter
>you're porn addiction is gonna lead you to jerking off to chicks with dicks and hentia everyday
>you'll actually unironicaly think Minecraft amd Doge are cool instead of cringe
>Let me fuck your boipussy, I know you want to
Based
>itt incels do that “fuck I wish I could redo high school cause everything mattered there” thing
>incels
>coke is fine tho
Based
>>you are really fucking smart. like, really smart. stop doubting yourself and make a case for your arguments. your biggest flaw is in communicating your thoughts and normies will take advantage of that in arguments, even if youre completely right they (and your own self doubt) will convince you you are wrong.
Checked and based.
>You are always right all the time
Shit-tier advice.
>stretch you fucking retard
Nothing those SJW types do will ever be for your benefit. They don't give a fuck about minorities. They will do anything in their position to cement themselves into the political landscape. Don't get involved with that dumb fuck white bitch. If you must, accuse her of rape before she does the same to you. Keep those messages around for blackmail purposes That picture of you doing the OK hand will be considered unfathomably racist soon. So is that Pepe costume you worked so hard on for the summer anime convention. Don't accept that Riot internship.
5 years ago (almost exactly) was when I graduated from college, and aside from maybe not going to therapy, it's been about as good as I could have hoped for. My only big regret in the past 5 years was how I handled things with a girl, but it made me better.
All I really want in the next 5 years is to hit 500k in savings and become senior in my position.
Are you me?
>don't fucking hire Lonnie
Storytime
Don't accept that Google job. They will not pay you. They'll destroy you and your career over insane gender politics that you won't even be able to conceive of right now. California actually sucks ass. Ride out the next few years in Japan if you can manage it.
But what if raping her might have changed when she would drive or be where she was when she died? Omg, what if you could have saved her life by raping her? You monster. You let her die.
>Your life was rigged from the start, your parents don't care about you, either you go all out and don't hold back or you might as well kys
>Don't listen to your mother, join the army like you always wanted to
>Lay off the video games and anime, they will bring you nowhere and you'll be a nobody
>Get your diet in order asap to reduce your acne, don't take accutane
>Join the gym asap
>You will miss a lot cuties, don't be scared to approach
>Your father is a drug addict, the sooner you step away from him the better you will be
>Getting a job will help you to grow tremendously
:(
Alright, alright.
>be me a couple years back
>married to a woman I actually loved and cared about
>had some kids and a house. The American dream
>6 years in (I'm an oldfag) she starts acting weird
>eventually asks for a divorce
>long story short, she had unchecked mental issues she never saw about, and went crazy
>ended up cheating on me
>I move out and rent a place
>she files, hires a 6'5 Chad strong chin lawyer
>I just put a deposit on a place, I have no savings left
>scrambling to find a lawyer within 30 days
>day 28, I hire one after getting a loan
>kept the loan small, hired the attorney who's office is next door to her lawyer
>5'7 chubby faggot
>secretary is an even fatter basement dweller incel
>have evidence of her cheating
>he tells me it doesn't matter since this is a "no fault" state
>never updates me unless I call him multiple times
>I'm in the dark for over a month
>meanwhile Harvey chadman, attorney at law, updates my ex every week, at least
>court time
>my ex has quit her job, took another at a pizza place, put the kids in the most expensive daycare she could find, and kept the house but hasn't made payments
>uses this as her pay/bills ratio for child support
>hands me some ungodly awful terms I would never agree with
>can't claim any kids on taxes, ever. She has primary custody but I have them every day I'm off (didn't even get the 1 free day per week I asked for, since I work a swing shift), 1300/mo child support, some absolutely bs claims about money that she had no evidence for, she keeps the house, I pay insurance on the kids, plus 1/2 medical costs, etc.
>my attorney is just like "Uhhh it could be worse, if we go to court the judge will just give her by the book which is even more child support"
>tell him to fuck himself I'm not taking this shit, do your job.
Cont.
>it's a fucking massacre. Chad mogs tf out of him like a playground bully, gets some bass in his voice and straight tells him no, and doesn't negotiate
>my lawyer caves with little to no effort
>at this point its either cave, or risk going to court and being somehow worse off with this retard representing me
>mfw she gets everything she wants, and I can't do a damn thing about it
>1 month later, she gets a job making more than ever
>she let's the house go into foreclosure, and moves into her mom's spare house fo' free
>meanwhile I'm paying more in rent than I was for my mortgage, could've just kept my damn house
>my credit went from 780 to like 450 in a matter of months
>lawyer tries to charge me extra for going "over his limit"
>tell him to go fuck himself
>never heard from him about the money
The guy should be fucking disbarred. I've spoken to several other attorneys and paralegals since then and they all say he was full of shit and just being lazy.
Lonnie Haralson, btw.
Fuck that guy.
You know what you're doing, keep it up.
And life as an adult is just like you think it is except you'll make a bit more money.
Dad and grandma is still alive too so don't stress it.
Uni isn't very fun but you already suspected that so no surprises there.
Your gym buddy will become your roommate when you drop out of uni and he'll start hooking up with (or being cucked by, fuck if I know) the girls who hated you in 9th grade. Your Asian friend will get more ass than a toilet seat, he actually just lost his virginity but will tell you first in 2 years. You still play starcraft with your buddy even tho the game is dead. That guy who buys you coffee and told you to start lifting will be your best buddy and coworker.
You'll outlift all but one guy at your gym in about 3 years but you won't ever feel as big as you do right now.
I'm proud of you buddy!
And You still have this gif on your phone btw