Local gym now has a strict no-singles policy

Good thing I wear a short and shirt.

>from 3x5 squats to 10x20
yikes

this sounds like total bullshit but my local gym receptionist may randomly check your phone for mgtow/incel/nofap activity

>this post now has a strict no-singles policy
check em

I DON'T CARE BOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU

Guards, take this hothead out of here!

nah you're lying mate

it's true i bought another smartphone just for the gym

t.incel

Have sex

>its a 'pretend to be in a relationship with one of the crossfit girls so i can keep working out' episode

>gym has a new rule that you can only bench your gf
What the hell am I supposed to do now

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>What the hell am I supposed to do now
Oh you do know, you do.

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PIERCE!

why the fuck would you even go to that gym then? what shithole country do you live in where that's even legal?

stop talking shite

What an absolute fucking legend

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>have to slave away in the Whey mines again because I set off the lunk alarm

>brought my falcon to dodge the no singles policy
>gym recently implemented no falcons policy
>managed to dodge it by putting a hoodie on him and tell the staff he was a pigeon on a bulk
>now they’re asking why he’s still bulking in June
I think the net is closing, lads

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tell those nosey bastards he's Australian and getting ready for Summer in December

>Australian falcon
>no papers on transporting an animal
>gym customs confiscate the falcon and report me to PETA

tell them to fuck off he can bulk in summer if he wants to

>gym sub is expensive
>some companies offer a card that lets you go to any fitness center or recreational activity in town once a day
>my firm doesn't offer that particular bonus
>can't purchase it on my own
>friend offers to put me on her plan, but 'I'll need to pose as her bf'
I can't tell if that's pathetic or am I making it.

Mate..

>someone took all the skull crusher helmets again

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>P-pose as your bf?
>How about I just become your bf haha wouldn't that be funny

>gym gets a bunch of news hires
>turns out they replaced all their Spotters with diversity/retard hires
>be shocked but fuck it start my routine anyways
>doing bench struggling a little on last couple reps when i hear "uh goshu bwudder"
>immediately face to face with a drooling simpleton
>drool lands on my lips as he roughly grabs at the bar like a 300 pound toddler
>drop the bar on my face
I hadn't been back for a week until this morning and I was told that they revoked my membership for not courtesy tipping one of the spotters.

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>that inhale at the end

tell he's going bloatmaxx

>gym now has strict doubles-only policy

Nah, check these numbers

>gym trap ate all the free crab legs again
>during the night the plate jews hid all the plates in the manlet pit
>gym falcon keeps shitting on me
I'm getting tired of such poor quality service, everything went downhill after Robert left

>gym trap ate all the free crab legs again
Fuck that guy, what are we supposed to snack on during the weekly rewatch of "Pumping Iron"?

Ah shit, so that's what she wanted me to say. Fuck, I'm dumb.

Didn’t you hear? Robert got promoted to be the staff shooter after complaints over shoddy designated shooters.
I saw him just the other day, and we caught up. He only shot me three times, too. What a guy.

>gym has 'no bulking' policy from june to october
>amnesty for first two weeks where they just confiscate your milk jugs and let you go
>daily mandatory weigh-ins every day starting on friday
>if they find youve gained weight they ban you
im still not big enough Jow Forums, what should i do?

Based haha poster

Keep bags of sand in your clothes, and slowly release them when you gain weight.

bonus tip: keep the sandbags in your hoodie's pec compartment in case they pat you down (since this is what breasts feel like anyway)

Good because I only have doubles

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Online

Flay the gays for gains

>N...no I DON'T want to suck your enlarged clit while you call me your good little boy
Damn I need to see the gym dominatrix again soon

>gym has imposed a levy if you do not being your bear mode bf on couples night

Based and chadpilled

>Gym has set up a Jizya tax

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I wouldn't go to a place where they hire shitskins.

>gym shooter misses me again
>still alive for leg day

Getting girls to do things for you isn't pathetic. It may very well be completely platonic, but you're still making it.

See, you said that and my mind heard 'she wants you. You'll be together and make babies'.

Thinking every girl who does anything for you wants you is unironically alpha af.

Benjamin Franklin effect. Plus, it’s a funny story/thing to joke around with. You can basically make it an inside joke for just the two of you that you can reference whenever you want for a small laugh.

>Gym prohibits manlets below 6'
>Sign says "We reserve the right to refuse service to any person. And manlets."

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>i dont know what block patron, password, fingerprint, face scan is.

>revoked my membership for not courtesy tipping one of the spotters.

i doubt it but at the all world give tips is a voluntary action, why are obligated to tip in that gym?

the dumbbell dwarf that lurks under the benchs on my gym always think that i'm only doing 3 sets and runs away with the ones i'm using, at least the crab legs are nice here

>gym rogue keeps doing supersets
>this point he’s claiming to be using 5 different sets of equipment at the same time
>whenever someone calls him out, he uses shadowstep and drops lmao1pl8 on their head

>shadowstep
>not playing gym classic

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>based rogue smashing dyels who don't armor up

what fucking country do you live in for that to be allowed holy shit

D E V E L O P E D

Hands down my favorite Justin Bieber song.

>Chad's son is teaching the gym parrot to say swear words again

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Gym raid boss has taken over the squat rack
Need to wait in queue because the gym is too saturated in dpsfags

Ur momma so fat a rogue tried to shadowstep her and got DCd

based architect

>Newfags can't tell joke threads
>>>/reddit/
Lurk more or go back retard

Lost